A friend that is a girl holds your hand, sleeps on your shoulder, and other similar stuff. What did it mean when she did it to you?

[Anonymous]

She initiated handholding. She laid/slept on your shoulder. She held your arm when sitting next to each other. When sitting next to you she put her weight into you. She makes excuses for handholding. She made prolonged, strong eye contact.

What did it mean when she did stuff like this to you, or, what would it mean as a girl if you did stuff like this to your new guy friend? (Teenagers)

If similar stuff happened to you then was she showing interest or truly just being good friends?

She was showing interest and it turned to more

She was not showing interest, just close friends

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[TheLoneTerran]

More than one fell asleep with their head on my chest. Apparently my heartbeat is soothing? I've had more than a women few friends or co-workers turned friend fall asleep on me. Apparently I help them feel "safe" and I'm "cozy". I'm not doing anything out of the ordinary, just treat them as friends and guests.

More than a few occasions they were too tipsy to drive and Uber was charging an arm and a leg that they just stayed the night. Eventually the bottom drawer of my dresser and the bottom drawer in my restroom became communal drawers. Many times I'd be doing something and they'd drop by to shower after the gym and before heading to work, or a date, etc. Eventually, I had a third key made for convenience sake even though that was a huge no-no in my lease agreement 😬. Sometimes I'd get home from work and one or two of them were napping in my bed, or had been by and made food so there was a surprise dinner in the fridge, or still in the process of cooking, or just hanging out. Only had a few rules like, you use it up, replace it. I was not paying for a bunch of peoples' toiletries and food beyond snacks and the like unless I'd invited them over for dinner. Don't be loud, my neighbors are pretty chill, even the lady a floor below me that sounded like a honking goose when she got laid. Don't leave a mess. And don't abuse the little setup we had going.

I enjoyed our setup. But yeah, having women fall asleep on me was never a signal that they were interested. To do that required... a more direct approach haha.

[Asker]

That’s a long interesting story

[Asker]

What would be a more direct approach to you

[TheLoneTerran]

Glad I could briefly entertain ya.

[TheLoneTerran]

Well, for my first time, I arrived with the tickets to our movie. Apparently I missed hint one of her just then getting into the shower, and her asking me to bring her a bottle of shampoo from her gym bag, which I did. Second hint I missed was there weren't any towels, can I bring her some, which I did. Just like the first time, I made sure not to look and left asap to give her her privacy. The final hint I missed is when she got back to her room. She'd asked me to wait there and she said she was going to get dressed so I told her I'd step out while she did so. She'd started to say something but said nevermind and I closed the door behind me. Few minutes later, she calls me in and I sit back down on the bed, she exits her walk-in, not wearing anything and she point blank told me how she wanted to spend the evening. I managed to bumble something about us missing the movie and she sat on my lap and said she didn't mind.

I said the smartest thing I could've, saying Ya know what? I don't either.

She gave me shit for being dense for quite a while haha. I still think I was kind of justified in my confusion because a couple months earlier, she wanted to rent a DVD and relax, and we ended up in her bed, under the covers, and she told me that it was a comfort thing, and that I was a cool guy but she wasn't interested in me that way. I said np, it was winter, I understood.

Apparently that changed at some point and I never picked up on it. Though it's not my worst time at missing every hint and sign possible to the point where she thought I straight up didn't like her much as a friend anymore. That one was embarrassing at the time but is pretty funny now.

[Asker]

You have given some very long detailed stories but I find them helpful and entertaining, yes, even if it is brief
Haha thank you

[TheLoneTerran]

You're welcome. Combination of being important memories and wanting to avoid being misunderstood, I think.

[SometimesASiren]

Hmm. What was her excuse for holding your hand? I personally, and I could see a ton of other girls, doing most of those things to a close guy friend. *Except* for the handholding, which really depends on her excuse.

[Asker]

Okay well half held hands in the car

She put her other hand out the window when on the freeway and I did it too, then she said ugh my hand is cold and held my hand to warm hers up and once it was warmed up she put it back outside to get cold again and grabbed my hand again to warm hers up, overall doing it 3 times before we stopped driving

The second time we held hands she just grabbed mine without excuse

Then another time made a different excuse

[SometimesASiren]

Um, does she have a health issue? Did you refuse to turn the heater on?

Cause I mean, there's a heater. Not to mention it's May...

[Asker]

A health issue? Why do you ask

[Asker]

I’m a little confused but I think I can answer what you’re asking

We were driving in the car on the freeway and she put her hand out the window and it got cold

[Asker]

And it was over a month ago too and it’s always cold outside the car window on the freeway