Does asking a guy if he has a girlfriend reveal my interest in him, or are guys even too slow to catch on to that?

Question

Over the last few days on here, guys have been telling me that guys are slow to pick up on signs a girl is flirting. If I've learned correctly, just the one question alone won't signal she wants to go out with him, but that question along with her always trying to sit next to him, compliment him, ask him for advice, admire him, etc, he will see that question as flirting. But is that question (do you have a girlfriend) still too forward?

Part2603 · Accepted Answer

Yes, it's an obvious indicator of Interest.

Like I said in your last post, the context can shift away suspicion.

If you present yourself as a gossipy, busybody who takes interest in all her friends love lives, then perhaps he can talk himself out of the theory that you're into him.

by the way, let me shed a little red pill theory on the game for you, since you're making a classic mistake that many men do.

Though it is less of mistake for women since "Asking the target if he has a girlfriend is a classic and typical indicator of interest." But since maybe you're a bit insecure with yourself here's my perspective on what to do as a red pilled man.

Don't ask. Just assume that the the target is single. Beta dudes get in the habit of asking girls out, (without properly rizzing them first) and then the girl "politely" declines with the line "I have a boyfriend.". And the the betas get in in their mind that "Oh, the reason girls are turning me down is because they already have a boyfriend. If I just stick to asking out single girls, my luck will turn around."

No. In most cases it's probably a white lie, meant to soften the blow.

The reason you should just assume the target is single is because you need to give yourself permission to act. To flirt, to invite, to make a move, whatever.

Truth is, when two people are into each other, the logistics of who's in a relationship kinda doesn't matter. I'm not advocating cheating here. What I'm saying is that it should be perfectly obvious if he's single or attached by how he reacts to your flirtation.

Dating and flirtation is all about mutual chemistry. It's not that girls are turning down men "because they already have a boyfriend", it's because she's happy, and of course she doesn't feel an attraction to anyone else.

So the answer to the question "Does he have a girlfriend?" becomes obvious. If he's attracted to you he probably doesn't.

Sorry if I went off on a tangent there, and you just needed a quick answer on the effectiveness of that particular line. I dunno, maybe a male reader will benefit from what I wrote.

Kaptin · Accepted Answer

Not always, I've been in that situation and didn't know until her friend told me years later. Sometimes it's best to be upfront about what you really want.

AmandaYVR · Answer

Asking, "Do you have a girlfriend?" does not qualify as subtle. It doesn't always mean, "I want you, I want to be yours" but this is not what guys mean when they say females are too subtle.

Don't do hints. Just be straightforward. Forget all the games. Just be direct. It'll make things go so much simpler.

SteveSmith1985 · Answer

Yes. That will very clearly reveal your interest. Guys actually will get this.

Guy13 · Answer

We catch on... Awww, yeah... that's the one there that wants me (with guys lifting head at you). I don't know her well but I can not deal with another attractive and liberal girl. ;-)

AviatorTom · Answer

Depends on you. If he thinks your gay, he may think you want to take his girlfriend. Otherwise, he usually gets the hint. We guys respond better to blunt though, hints are often missed.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I does, doesn', It's not too forward, but he may not figure it out and you may have to be direct. You could be more indirect..."wouldn't it be fun to have someone to go on dates with"? If he's the type that can't handle direct engagement... after asking, give him time and space to make a decision, don't make him decide on the spot. Arrange a followup. That's a way to have a date without deciding to have one. Otherwise, you risk getting a "no". Some people (ala Seinfeld) will look for a reason to say no, there always is one, and so instead of getting a chance, you get shot down. Be a little sly...

Women like to communicate face to face... oddly, since they don't love confrtontation. Guys like to communicate side to side [it provides and feels like support rather than confrontation]. As well, if he has something to do with his hands, it is an outlet for stress.

A confident guy will have no problems with direct, but computer nerdy techie or not experienced may not be comfortable, especially at work.

MarkHrdman · Answer

Instead of trying to insult everyone here and failing, you should probably shove your question up yourself, since everyone knows the answer.

The problem is you. Dont blame everyone else & based on your opening to your question, you dont understand that basic psychology doesn't come into play with every little action that a woman does, as if it comes across noticable.

There are a lot of ideosyncrosis that most males dont notice because they dont understand the context or the interaction or share chemistry.

Saying 1 thing absolutely in no way indicates that a woman wants to go out in any way possible!

Your problem is that you dont understand that a woman can accuse a male of sexual harrassment even if she is trying to seduce him and it is excepted to support a woman regardless of lying over a man.

So it is socially disfunctional for you to think that 1 action would mean that you wanted to go out with a guy, even if you unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock to put in your mouth but at this stage, maybe thats where you should start, over not wanting to actually speak to a guy but instead treating males like theyre a peace of shit for offering you any support like the more then enough help you have already receieved to be more then done!

You use the word amire without any intention of expression, so you're completely missing the point here but based on what youve said, you really dont give a shit and this is just a social experiment to you to try to lead men on but men can tell.

you're not even anywhere near close to being to forward.

You should probably ask a guy to pull out his cock.

Clearly you have no intention of going out with anyone.

Anonymous · Answer

Asking a guy if he has a girlfriend can potentially reveal your interest in him, but it depends on the context and how you phrase your question. If you ask the question in a casual and friendly manner, it may not necessarily come across as a romantic interest. However, if you ask in a more direct or flirtatious way, the guy may pick up on your interest.

Guys are not necessarily too slow to catch on to subtle hints, but everyone has different levels of awareness and sensitivity to social cues. It is important to be clear and direct about your intentions if you want to avoid any confusion or misunderstanding.

Also, keep in mind that asking someone about their relationship status does not necessarily mean you are expressing romantic interest. It could simply be a question out of curiosity or a way to get to know someone better.

And

Asking a guy whether he has a girlfriend is not necessarily too forward, especially if it is done in a casual and friendly manner. It can be a way to get to know someone better and understand their relationship status. However, if you are asking the question with the intention of expressing your romantic interest, it may be helpful to gauge his interest and establish a rapport before asking the question directly.

As for the other signs of flirting that you mentioned, it is possible that a guy may not pick up on them if he is not aware of your intentions or if he is not interested in you romantically. It is important to communicate your intentions clearly and directly if you want to avoid any confusion or misunderstanding.

Paul_in_Indy · Answer

Asking if I have a girlfriend does not reveal any interest to me. Goodness, that’s the question aunts and grandmothers always ask guys. Now, I can tell if you’re flirting with me, and if this question is in a flirty exchange I’ll take it as a good sign. Or if I’m interested in you and you asked this question I’ll take it as an opportunity to flirt and see what happensasking if I have a girlfriend does not reveal any interest to me. Goodness, that’s the question aunts and grandmothers always ask guys. Now, I can tell if you’re flirting with me, and if this question is in a flirty exchange I’ll take it as a good sign. Or if I’m interested in you and you ask this question I’ll take it as an opportunity to flirt and see what happens. But asking me if I have a girlfriend it’s just a request for directory information.

megabamse · Answer

10 out of 10 times the best solution is the direct approach. Men don't beat around the bush, we are direct, we go straight to the point. Watch how men talk to each other, there is no hidden meanings or anything like that. We speak right from our guts. And with that in mind, do you think that generally speaking on a average guy would pick up on something they pretty much never do themselves? Try this instead "Hi I'm Dora, and i would really like to get to know you. I saw you over there and thought to myself that this handsome man would be interesting to get to know" it's direct and respectful way to say your interested.

RavVid · Answer

Girls do have different body language ways of expressing interest but the problem is for body language to be accurately interpreted it has to be calibrated against her norm. A girl might make a hand gesture to her cleavage when referring to herself to draw your attention to her breasts but another girl might just do that routinely. Flirting is a deniable expression of sexual interest.

Asking a guy if he has girlfriend is fairly straight up but still a little deniable. I might miss a lot but I don't think I'd miss that and it would be easy to respond to.

LivDev · Answer

Just ask him to hang out. Rejection hurts like a bitch but at least it saves time.

The only people that care if you get rejected and would make you feel embarassed are harpies that you shouldn't be friends with anyway. Guys will probably empathize with you and good friends will be there to tell you it was his loss anyway lol

RHK36 · Answer

Depends on the guy and how well you know him. Guys can be pretty thick and a good amount avoid assumptions because well let's be honest females aren't the best at communicating what they really want. It is a pretty solid question that could have a good amount of men thinking that you might be interested, but it's still not enough to directly assume interest.

aaron210419 · Answer

No guys can tell, but I think it's gotten to the point that unless you say it directly it's better not to assume anything and avoid being called creepy. Just imagine it the other way around, if a guy asked you if you had a boyfriend would you consider that flirting?

Anonymous · Answer

Guys aren't "slow" (stupid.) We just communicate differently that girls do. We assume that people are clearly expressing themselves and that they mean what they say. The fact that some don't crack the female Enigma code doen't mean they are stupid; it means they want women to communicate more directly and they refuse to accomodate the female lack of clarity.

Kinkyhubby · Answer

No he will catch on to that question, it depends on how he answers it. He may have a girlfriend, he may not. He may not have a girlfriend, but says he does, if he isn't interested In you, if you aren't his type. He may say he doesn't even if he does, if he want to see where things go with you, if you are his type.

SpanishRose · Answer

I think asking if they have a girlfriend does show him you're interested. But if you really like him just tell him. The worse he is going to say is he isn't interested. Then you will know if you're wasting your time or not. Either way good luck to you!

StormChaser838 · Answer

The question is ambiguous, since the the time, place , stage and perspective are more important. If you just met him a minute ago. No. If its the first time after weeks you are together alone and u ask, then may be. so the other factors are more important.

molonski2 · Answer

I used to hate that question , I think it sure does reveille interest , guys are slow I agree , but when you get that question , you pretty much know why they would ask it.

MrCommodore · Answer

Yes that question will definitely make him wonder about whether you fancy him. But in fairness to guys, it can be hard to be sure with girls, as many flirt purely for fun, which is BS.

sheenagwapa · Answer

i think it's revealing interest just not sure if it's a good idea. i believe that males should work gard to get the girl. i'm referring to girls who are not potential but girls who pass your standard.

Pacquet · Answer

Yes, I think asking a guy if he has a girlfriend shows interest but you’re right, in general we our way of showing interest is direct while women’s is more nuanced so it takes us a while to learn all those nuances.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Sometimes, we are pretty dense, you may need to do all of the above and pinch us so we know it isn't a dream. 🤔

Gibbons44 · Answer

I notice it easily but am at times too overloaded with work related responsibilities to act on it as spontaniously as I would prefer. Some of it just takes time, but shouldn't be difficult if you kerp your mind at it. People do have good and bad days unfortunately - sometimes to keep a love interest showing in continuity gets difficult, even if it is there just the same.

Mansearching · Answer

If we're slow to pick up on it is because were not that interested or not thinking you're that interested in us.  No its not forward. Kinda personal. But you got to gather info.

Heolurt · Answer

That's not a question that shows you have an interest in the guy. When I used to have "friends" plenty of the female ones have asked me that exact question and yet not one of them had any interest in me, some even made fun of me after saying "no". Sitting by them and asking them for advice doesn't magically change the meaning of the question either.

Anonymous · Answer

We're slow to pick up on subtle hints because we've been brow-beaten repeatedly for assuming that a woman is flirting seriously with us when she's "only flirting in a friendly way".

In other words, yes we notice it. But in our heads, there's always the question of whether it's real flirting or not.

Anonymous · Answer

😆😆😆 risk vs. reward.

Don't want to take a risk you don't get the reward. I might catch it. But I'd be turned off by her lack of commitment. The only thing she's telling me is she doesn't think enough me to risk anything.

slatyb · Answer

Don't ask that. Just invite him to coffee or lunch or whatever. How do you feel when a man you would never date asks if you have a boyfriend? Life is much easier when we ask directly for what we want.

Auf_schweden_ya_doma · Answer

Litterly telling him "ask me out!!!"

People are people, some get those signals, some don't.

Personally, I answer those questions honestly. Though it's desperate if the very first question is "do you have a girlfriend?"

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Nothing is too forward. But yes; we are that slow.

LickwidSkie · Answer

Guys can be slow to pick up on subtle hints, but that's not exactly subtle. If a woman asked me that I'd probably think she was interested.

JustMeL120 · Answer

You should ask a guy if he has a girlfriend. If they do they will feel awkward. If they dont they will feel unatractive.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Not really. I've had a number of women ask me that and, in most cases, it was just because they concerned, not interested. It depends on how she asks.

zagor · Answer

I would say it would most likely be taken as such, unless the question is coming from someone much older or younger or a relative. Except in Kentucky, where the last one would not be an exception.

Likes2drive · Answer

It’s a good question to ask and they may pick up on it because why else would you really ask? I know I’m not too slow on that unless it’s an older woman that’s married asking because maybe she has somebody in mind

Twalli · Answer

Not really. I've asked most if my female coworkers about their relationship status. Of course the did the same. It was just getting to know each other. It may he different if you're closer to the same age

MindYourEyes · Answer

Sometimes. But who knows. Most of them prefer direct to know xD

BrightBubblyKat · Answer

It reveals your interest in him, but what’s wrong with that?

Nikki1989 · Answer

Yeah, guys will catch onto that very quickly.

spartan55 · Answer

Maybe, but you could be doing recon for one of your fellow overthinkers.

Horse-girl · Answer

I think that they probably would figure it out.

Jennz6 · Answer

I think if you really like him and want to go out with him, go ahead and ask. Maybe he won’t be slow like some guys are lol

PatriceONeal · Answer

Correction. Men are smarter than women. Those men aren't interested in you because you are 28 and have a bitchy attitude. "Influencer" that's cute.

JamesHarrys · Answer

From experience, yes. But it's a good thing. You miss 100% of the shot you don't take.

humanearth · Answer

Just come right out and state your intentions

Anonymous · Answer

I usually find it useful to check their relationship status on Facebook. Straight up asking anyone if they're taken will give you away in a heartbeat

Stevefiveo · Answer

I am slow to pick up on flirting but if a girl asked me that. I would think she is interested or wants to introduce me to her friend.

AydenHazor · Answer

It's definitely not too forward, and, depending on the guy, he might or might not pick up on it as you being interested in him

AimeeKyle · Answer

I would think that question would be clear enough for the most oblivious individual to understand you have an interest in them.

the-mad-german · Answer

guys should get that... if not he is most likely just not interested

Pohjolan · Answer

By itself no. Neither are the other things you mentioned. Girls that are being just friendly do this too.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Are you asking this just to boost traffic? Otherwise it sounds like you're trying to get a boy for a middle school dance.

strlb · Answer

Definitely ask! Would you rather play games and not know or be straightforward and know the answer. The sooner the better in my opinion.

SunnyRS · Answer

Trust me some guys are, I have been asked by a few girls this question and it was way too long after I realized that maybe they had something for me

sunkissedwolfe · Answer

Sometimes hints go right over their heads😂. To the smart ones though, it'll show that you like them. Others need to smacked with the I like you statement

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know, i've met quite a few dumbass guys so who knows. probably not.

Still-alive · Answer

I usually take that as a sign of interest unless i know they are taken lol

Guardian45 · Answer

I clearly notice if a woman asks me if I have a girlfriend.

xJayleenx · Answer

I’m pretty sure it does but some guys are very clueless 😂

OddBeMe · Answer

Devils in the details. Small chat, “i have a crazy dog…lol”….”you?”

Does asking a guy if he has a girlfriend reveal my interest in him, or are guys even too slow to catch on to that?

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