[M20] How do I overcome my fear of approaching girls?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone, i’m almost a 20 yo guy and i’ve only approached a girl once when i was 16.

I generally feel not enough for dating a girl i like, especially if i don’t even know her. I have some serious issues regarding my looks (issues to accept them, like alopecia and so on). This is also due to the fact that my best friend was a very good looking guy, and girls constantly approached him when we were hanging out together. Now we’re not friends anymore, after about 7 years of friendship.

I’m pretty tall and fit, so i feel better than i did in the past… but i’m so scared of trying to get to know my gym crush, for instance (now, i don’t want to talk about whether approaching in a gym is good or not, i don’t care about that specific situation).

I don’t have issues to ask girls if they still need a certain equipment, by the way, and i’ve also got some girl friends. What scares me is the approaching part: i don’t want to be seen as a creep and as a non confident person. I know nothing can go wrong if i approach a girl.

Please, help me to overcome my fear… simply hearing some of your opinions, experiences or suggestions would be great. Thanks!

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Go to places that are low risk. Like college campuses, food courts, bars and just start talking to random girls who don't seem to be overly preoccupied. You can just say something like "hey, I think you're really attractive and (I wanted to know if you're doing Saturday), (I'm doing x on Friday and my friend can't make it), (etc) are you free?"

And you're going to get rejected some of the time and you're going to get numbers other times.

This is something you're going to tailor to yourself as you do it more and find what works for you but the real answer to your question is the only way to get over that anxiety is to get rejected a few times and realize that dating is largely a numbers game.

As long as you shoot your shot with your posture straight, proper eye contact and you have confidence in yourself, even the women who reject you will have some respect for you and that's a big part of what will up your confidence. The way they look at you when you walk away will not be with disgust if this is done correctly, even if you get rejected.

And as an extra tip, when you hand the girl your phone for her to put her number in, ask questions like where are you from, what are you studying, or even better, use something you notice about her to strike up a conversation. If she wears a bracelet that shows she goes to a local ski mountain, ask her if she snowboards. The smaller the detail, the more she's going to take notice that you're not just a typical man-child.

[Anonymous]

It's understandable to feel nervous or anxious about approaching someone you're interested in, but it's important to remember that rejection is a normal part of dating and doesn't reflect on your worth as a person.

Here are some tips that may help you overcome your fear of approaching girls:

1. Practice positive self-talk: Instead of focusing on your insecurities or perceived flaws, try to focus on your positive qualities and strengths. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and respect.

2. Start small: You don't have to approach someone you're interested in right away. Start by striking up conversations with people in general, whether it's a cashier or a person in line with you. This can help build your confidence and social skills.

3. Be yourself: Instead of trying to be someone you're not, focus on being your authentic self. This can help attract people who appreciate and value you for who you are.

4. Take risks: It's okay to feel nervous or scared, but sometimes taking risks can lead to positive outcomes. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and take a chance.

5. Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your fears and concerns. Having a support system can help you feel more confident and empowered.

Remember that approaching someone is just the first step in a potential relationship. Whether or not things work out, it's important to treat yourself and others with kindness and respect. Good luck!

[Googlemyahoo]

How do you learn to swim? How do you learn to tie shoe laces?

Practise. Just keep doing it.

I had a friend like you he started the machine gun approach. Every girl that walked by he’d try to talk to eventually he hit one. Ended up marrying her.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

You're not afraid of approaching them, you're afraid of judgement and rejection.
They will judge you and they will reject you. Accepting those things instead trying to avoid them will take most of the fear away

[slatyb]

If you have some conversation with a woman, it's not creepy to ask her to continue the conversation.

[LiamJHayden]

The only way to learn is to do. You go and ask her out. If she turns you down, you smile, wish her well, and find another target. Take enough swings and you will get a hit.

[Anonymous]

@Gwenhwyfar was silenced