Is ignoring someone a good way to get a guy’s interest?

[Anonymous]

I have been working out in a gym for a few months and I noticed people there started to recognise me more as well. I have been bumping into certain people not just at the gym but also at the nearby coffee shop as well. I’m pretty reserved in general so I didn’t really greet a guy from a from the gym though I saw him look at me. I feel like that got his attention, although it may just be surprising to see that we are at the same shop or that I ignored him because I usually greet him with a smile at the gym.

[blueonblack22]

Why is it that too many women assume that what turns them on (guy’s ignoring them and being mysterious/challenge) is what turns men on?

Women are already naturally picky and a general pain in the ass in the early stages of dating. Not all but too many. You are already being difficult most of the time and don’t even realize it So don’t worry about coming off as “easy” if you actually dare to say hello to a guy or something.

Also you are describing a guy you like in the gym. Have you not been paying attention to all the recent horror stories of women secretly recording men they judge as “creepy” and blasting them on social media? Men are more paranoid then ever when it comes to approaching women in the gym nowadays. Even if we don’t get recorded we are well aware of all the creep shaming going on nowadays.

Put your big girl pants on and just smile at the guy and say hello. Seriously that’s all you have to do. If he likes you he will get it and most likely take it from there. If he doesn’t then no harm no foul.

Also as an athletic man I go to the gym for one reason only: to get a workout in and to get a job done. I don’t go to the gym to socialize and check out women. Some men do this (and increasingly at their own peril nowadays) but many don’t. He might be like that. So you have to give him a direct signal that are you open to be approached. Otherwise he won’t waste his time or worse risk his reputation approaching you.

[DaveJord]

I would say ABSOLUTELY NOT!

It might work on some guys, but in the end unless you want a simp its usually not a good thing... if you get the guy to come around by using this trick. All it means is that you have the ability to manipulate him into being with you. Trust me that might sound good, but at some point it will backfire on you. Or you realize this is not the guy you want to be with.

You will have your reasons for not wanting him later, but as long as you take responsibility for the games you played to land him.

[LuminousMind]

@DaveJord hi I just wanted to say that I really like your advice and I wanted to ask if you would it mind giving me your opinion on a situation? I would like to send you a dm but you have to accept my follow request.

[DaveJord]

@LuminousMind You have follow me to message me.

[itsalyssaagain]

No ignoring him will send off a message that you’re not interested. You should be friendly but there’s a fine line between being friendly and coming off as a bit desperate and weird lol. But also a lot of guys nowadays are very shy (even the hot ones you see in the gym!) so ignoring them will push them even further away.

[Jamie05rhs]

@itsalyssaagain Yeah! A lot of guys in the gym are former nerds. The whole reason they're in the gym now is because everyone keeps saying "Improve yourself. Go to the gym!". So you can't assume that he's a jock or anything.

[itsalyssaagain]

I can definitely see that! It’s not like what the stereotype used to be

[Jamie05rhs]

@itsalyssaagain Right!

[Jamie05rhs]

That's why they're shy. Because they haven't been hot their whole lives.

[itsalyssaagain]

Yup!

[Bethany22]

You have to give a bit of encouragement by smiling and making eye contact, but you also need to create mystery by acting aloof as though other guys are interested in you and you're not desperate for their specific attention.

[Asker]

Yeah that’s what I mean too. Like it’s good to show you recognise people but I guess if you try to initiate contact each time it looks like you want to talk to them all the time

[Rob59692]

Don’t start flirting with other guys. I stop caring about a girl if she flirts with other men.

[Pohjolan]

Smiling with e

[spartan55]

This is terrible advice

[Sharkstealth]

We're not girls. We want the girl to like us. We don't like girls who are massive attention whores. We don't like women because they are taken.

[Sharkstealth]

I go to the gym all the time and there are two women who have been trying to get me to approach them. They keep the wrong company in men to me. There is no way possibly I want anything to do with them just because of the guys they surround themselves with.

[Sanser]

I agree that a bit of mystery is attractive but that's no reason for her not to go for it! If she likes that guy I would consider approaching him.

[jennifer_bloom]

I’ve attracted guys by being hard to get - but never by playing hard to get, I was legitimately uninterested and that made them like me more.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Whoever first gave women that advice is the ultimate misogynist. There's 8 billion people in the world and I'm really busy. If you're going to act aloof then I'm moving on. I'm sure you're a lovely person and you take good care of yourself. Whoever you are, you're not the hottest thing walking and if we're going to start off playing games then I'll just as easily go with the next woman who can behave as an adult and speak her mind.

I live and work in a very female-dense environment. Maybe in Alaska it's different, but when there are women trying to talk to me all day how much can I be expected to bend over backwards to talk to the one that has shown no interest in me? High school is over. No man of any caliber is going to entertain that.

Sorry if that came off harsh, but I hate seeing people shoot themselves in the foot and that advice is asinine

[Anonymous]

Any man will tell you, no, that's the dumbest stupidest most self defeating thing to do.

Not that it matters. Women love to ignore good advice from men and instead listen to the sabotaging dysfunctional advice that other women give.

For the sake of anyone actually listening - women are terrified of making the first move but they'd love to think they dropped some signal and it worked. That's the sort of mindless delusion that satisfies their emotional neurosis, with the benefit of allowing them to take no action at all and still feel like they did something.

It is precisely this indulging of emotion over action that fat people use when they order 6 big macs and a diet coke but refuse to do any exercise.

[ManOnFire]

Girls seem to think ignoring a guy - for anything - is going to work in their favor, and I don't know why. Ignoring people when you really have no concrete reason to, hurts more than helps. It hurts your own chances and also makes you look like you're not very good at talking or mingling with men, and it also confuses a dude if one day you were cool or chatty with him and now you're not, so he stays away.

[Sanser]

Would u like a person who is ignoring u? NO.
Men and women are very similar, and this stereotipical thing thinking that ignoring is a turn on is so sexist and i even think misandrious... I know u dont have bad blood and most of women neither, but u must know that if u like a guy u must show interest. This ignoring thing can serve u to get a simp but thats it. If u really like a guy u must aproach him, maybe he is shy and doesn't know if he can aproach u, the world is nowadays a mess and some men tend to think they will have a bad experience aproaching. Be brave and talk to him!!

[Sexiestjohnson]

People say this cruel reverse psychology works but you have to realize that your crush may have read the same books you read. The best approach is the genuine approach. If you like him, let your green light talk. If he gives you green light, run! If he gives you red, you are safe.

[ShesRad80]

just start talking to him, open up the floor for conversation, games never end well and are stupid

[Asker]

Though I know He has a girlfriend so I don't know if it’s worth to pursue

[ShesRad80]

i wouldn't if he has a girlfriend pursue romance etc, but you can speak with him just like to make conversation you may find out you dont even like him once you talk to him.

[kellytheman]

I don't think so because if your showing no interest in him than he might actually move on and find another that is maybe knowing he doesn't have a shit with you but there are some guys that be very confident and go for it anyway however that sometimes make him seem like a creep.

[Anonymous]

all the people saying to not ignore, gotta keep im mind that sometimes people feel awkward and their natural defence mechanism is to overcompensate on not having noticed someone, which can come off as ignoring someone even tho it’s rude.

I’m saying that cause i have done that to girls even tho i didn't want. I felt insecure.

[Anonymous]

It might work in the short term but it will hurt you in the long term. The only thing you teach the guy is your manipulative. And at some point he WILL figure that out. And then nothing you will do will work at all anymore, even if you decide to be genuine. Because at that point you've ruined your credibility.

[cosmosis181]

It's a really good way to get fuckboys to approach you, I can guarantee you that. My roommate is one, he KNOWS that tactic well. He knows its a front. Most decent guys stay to themselves... approaching them will take them pleasantly by surprise.

[spartan55]

Why do girls still think this works? It's a great way to show a guy that you are a game playing bitch. You think guys like that?

[Pohjolan]

That would mean that you behave even less interested than the other women who are just friendly with him.

In a environment where men are discouraged from bothering women.

Good luck with that one.

[JesseP1nk]

This kind of SHIT only is in MOVIES. Its not a romantic movie for crying out loud. If you ignore someone then you tell them you are "not intrested". Think about it- would you pursue someone if they ignore you all the time?

[strateguy632]

if that is goal it will back fire most guys will interept you dont like us.

[Adam1978]

No you should focus on him and ignore all other guys.

[Billlewis]

You better believe it! That works almost every time:)

[Raaj4you]

If you ignore him or play games, he might lose interest in you. I lost my interest in some girls coz they were playing hard to get.

[Luopio27]

Ignoring someone will lead to ignorant results. I dont line girls of such nature. So no, it would not work on me.

[KrakenAttackin]

No, not at all. In this day in age if you want to get to know a man you need to give him clear signals you won't, not only not reject him, but not out him on blast as "creepy" for saying "hi".