Ignoring the guy you like, does it work?

[Anonymous]

Whenever I like a guy, I mostly think I can't show it straight off. Like, I'd be clingy if I would and I wouldn't give the guy time to find out if he likes me or not. So my rule mostly is: the more you like him, the more you should ignore him.

It always feels as if I'm at his mercy if I like him a lot and he knows it. Not nice to be taken for granted either.

I am friendly though, and I'll talk to them if they start talking to me. And I'll hold eye contact sometimes too. I'll enjoy talking to his friends too..

Guys, I don't know if you think this works for you. It works for me though. Do you have any experience with this kind of "tactic"? Girls, have you done this before?

Updates

+1 y

I think you're taking it the wrong way. Maybe this is clearer: I'd rather let the guys do the first move, because then I know he's interested. It's not like I'll ignore him even if he tries to talk to me or get my attention. I don't like to show a guy that I'm interested, because he might not like me that way (which can get really awkward).

[EPhantom]

This will NOT work. I've had girls show some kind of attention towards me, just something friendly, then act like I don't exist.

To the male mind this is what's going on...

Hey she's interested in me in some way, wanting to be my friend at least, maybe there is a chance for more... and now she's avoiding me, maybe I did something wrong... ohh well, time to move on and fine someone else.

If you like him, make sure you give him some attention, look at him a little more than you do the other guys, DON'T look away when he catches you staring, smile at least, then you can look away. That way he KNOWS you were looking at him and not someone over his shoulder.

Us guys want to know that we are wanted, that we are desired. the first actual girlfriend I had spent TONS of time breaking me by staring at me in class. I was VERY shy, so she would just look at me while I was listening to our lecture or while I had my head down. Every so often I would catch her looking at me. She wouldn't break away as if she wasn't, she would keep eye contact for a little while, then break, as if she was teasing me, only letting me get a small look into her eyes so I would want more.

It's sort of like... when I'm walking around on campus, I experimented with staring at peoples eyes as they walked by. When I would pass by girls they did one of four things. they either didn't acknowledge my existence (too busy, too much on the mind or something), glance at me and look away (creeped out or not interested ect), glanced at me, smiled and started looking again (probably shy but interested in either me or why I was staring), and staring back (depending on facial expressions either interested, flattered, upset, yatta yatta yatta)

Try it with a guy that seems interesting that you would like to get to know, but NOT the guy you're REALLY interested in, no sense in having the one you really want being the first egg in the pan that has to be tossed. Once you see that you can get a guy to come to you with this and turn him into a friend or more, then reel your interests in.

[Asker]

Your answer makes sense to me, but I think guys would be creeped out if they saw me staring at them.. I'm a bit shy and I'd hate to get a disgusted look. I'm not really really attractive.. I'm a bit skinny with a small chest.

Somehow staring doesn't really get guys to come to me, it just makes things awkward mostly, because I don't know what to do after that either.

[EPhantom]

being small is NOT a bad thing, and having a small chest isn't bad either. I"m into both skinny and larger girls for two different reasons.

Skinny girls can sit on my lap... I'm a butt guy, so if a girl can tease me with it then the more power to her

larger girls are like teddy bears, more comfortable to squeeze, but can't sit on my lap and their butts are more awkward :(

after they notice you looking, smile, wait about a second, then wave or look away, maybe wink or gesture them to come over

[Arwens-Fire]

I agree.Its normal to become discouraged if someone is ignoring you.I think girls just do these things without thinking.If any girl was trying to talk to a guy,and he ignored her,she would be on the phone complaining to her best friend...maybe even crying.So I don't understand the logic behind,the more you like the guy...the more you ignore him.That's ridiculous.

[man32]

My Crush just now put me through this phase for a week and a half. I didn't ignore her and I was talking to her as usual. She is a confident woman who is outgoing with all men except for me. I made it clear I like her and she felt the vibe before putting me through the IGNORE TEST. I took it easy and gave her the attention she deserves and showed how much I care and respect her feelings. from Christmas onwards she is speaking to me as usual and not ignoring me at all. She watches me when ever she knows I can't see her and from behind she looks at me.

I believe before women commits for a man. they must put through men all these tests to see is the man really deserves her

[Arwens-Fire]

Personally,I don't believe in playing this game.There are plenty of guys who will just ignore the heck out of you if you start ignoring them...and they will just move onto a girl who ISN'T into ignoring him.I think that game is a little pathetic.Any self respecting man who knows they can get a girl who will show interest,and who is more laid back and open,will gravitate to that.

There is ONE time I can remember I did ignore a guy because he was behaving like a jerk and he was a narcassist.I ignored him while we were working,and it was insane just how much he was in my face trying talk to me! But THAT is the kind of guy that responds to girls ignoring him.And that's the kind of guy I am NOT interested in.They are more interested in the GAME than they are of the girl.

Being interesting and fun is just as,and if not MORE effective than ignoring a guy...in my opinion.I have other tests to see if he is genuine and interested in me...but it definitely doesn't start with me ignoring him.If I'm ignoring him,it because I don't like him.

[EPhantom]

Exactly :) if they ignore me or seem to be ignoring me, I'm going to suspect they don't want me around just as you explain. The "game" side of it... I don't play that side, I just walk away and get confused if they come back when I don't play lol

[Arwens-Fire]

"Its"

[Asker]

Well I happen to like guys that mostly respond to that.. it's mostly like they take me for granted if I come on too strong. You seemed a bit contemptuous with this answer. The question was genuine and I only wanted your advice, not your opinion really. Thanks anyway

[Arwens-Fire]

Haha...what?Advice and opinion is pretty much the same thing.If your method works for you then fine.I gave a very blunt answer and I think that is what you are having trouble dealing with.If you like guys that respond from that then great.Time will tell if in the end that formula works for you.

You can't control what comes out of my mouth girly.I'm giving advice and or an opinion like other users here.Its like chicken...take what you want,and leave the rest.Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Game playing will only get you players, haha!

Just be honest and upfront. If you like someone, ask him out. Approach him, start a conversation, something. Don't ignore him and think he'll be able to read your mind.

[Opinion Owner]

@update - A lot of men feel the same way. Maybe give them a break.

[SDj-9]

Listen, there is no some kind of power balance here. If a guy knows you like him, he will not be like "oh she likes me, now I have power, so I will ignore her and play with her head" No one will do that.

You really don't want to play games like this, that's unattractive. Why is so hard to just show someone you like them, without trying to act disinterested. In what world would someone think, oh she is not interested in me, cool, I want to try harder now and make her want me... That just doesn't happen.

She's not interested? That's life, I'm moving on...

[Asker]

Well some guys do like to play those kinds of games. That probably why I'm careful in the first place. Thanks for the advice though :)

[SDj-9]

U are right, there are SOME guys I guess, but I personally think it is better without it... :)

[Anonymous]

This never works.

Guys are really very straight forward and not complicated.

If you like a guy, you have to show him you like him.

If you ignore him, he will naturally assume you don't like him.

And because guys are straight forward, we don't bother chasing girls who don't like us.

We also don't run head first into walls, for much the same reason.

[Arwens-Fire]

YES! I don't know why girls make things more complicated than it has to be! Drama all the time for no reason.Tisk,tisk.

Plus one.

[Haze88]

I will ignore you back and move on. I am not going to waste my time with a girl ignoring me.

[Haze88]

Update: I still will ignore you since you've given me no incentive to approach by appearing disinterested.

[Asker]

When would you approach?

[Haze88]

Personally I wouldn't unless she has approached me first. I am pretty shy so if it isn't glaringly obvious that you want me to approach or you've approached me before I will keep it moving.