Flirting vs Love Bombing can you tell the difference?

[RoseySarah]

Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and for either positive or negative purposes. Psychologists have identified love bombing as a possible part of a cycle of abuse and have warned against it.

Usually it happens in online dating with someone flooding you with compliments and attention. Then getting cold when you don't give them what they want.

Guys what are your experiences with this?

Usually can tell

Only after it's to late

Rarely can tell

Notice it with my friends new dates mostly

Sometimes I do this

Accidently did this before

[Anonymous]

what about this? We were having a snack day and work and the manager sends out a reminder email that this was the day we are having snacks. I then write to her asking if she brought any goodies. She then replies yes i brought some donuts cookies and pretzels with some Christmas trip dip its really yummy and some cheddar cheese puffs with a smiley emoji.

I then to keep it going say, ok sounds good.. I'll be sure to try some. She doesn't reply anything back. Hours later she comes by asking how their day is going and seemed like it was to see who all got something to eat. I only had my plate with food she said she brought on it. She didn't say anything but she sure was looking.

Hours later I strike up a teams conversation stating. Hi.. that Christmas tree dip was good. It compliments the preztels. Cheddar cheese bites were good too as love cheddar cheese. I could almost make a meal from snacking. I didn't eat all that much for lunch.

She then says awesome! glad you liked it!! I didn't eat all that much either. I say well i had ate a lemon loaf before I had come to work so that and snacking Im pretty full.

she's replies i love lemon things! I then say yeah i go to starbucks and they probably know my name i go so much (mind you each of these comments she's either smiling laughing or liking them).

I said between that and coffee lol. She says i dont drink coffee at all but my husband does. I hit the brakes and just quit talking at that point feeling completly embarrassed like i did something wrong at that point.

Hours later leaving to go home, i forgot all about it and hoping nothing negative would come from it, I pack up my things and head to the door, she comes running out of her towards me trying to flag me down and says here do you want these (it was those cheddar bites) she seemed determined i get them with other people standing around watching the entire interaction.

To anyone else was a gesture to get rid of food from the snack day, but to me im like there's more to it than that. she could have just as easily took them home but she thought enough about it hours later to do that.

Then there's at other times on previous awkward laughing and sharing odd personal things with me. somedays there will be a quiet tension then other days she strikes up conversations in person. May i add we are both married?

[MiddleAgedClimbee]

I've never attempted to separate the two terms. I don't think it's something that I need to be concerned about as a married man. I suppose love bombing can occur within a relationship rather than prior to forming the relationship.

I can tell you that kids always try to do something nice when they want you to give them something in return🤣

[RoseySarah]

Ooo great question idea thanks!
Can you tell when your kids love bomb you! 😜

But it can usually when they want something or planning a big secret.

[Insecure2]

All my life experiences and observations show that IT is impossible to distinguish between flirting and love bombing until you are already in a relationship and the person doing the love bombing shows his true colours. Only then, when they are certain that we cannot react immediately or will be confused, do they start becoming more obsessive and even agressive. In the early stages of dating or getting to know each other we don't know enough about the other person to decide which is IT. We just pay attention to the nice compliments, gifts, etc. Thinking that IT is nice and that person just might be the one or he/she seems fun to be with, unlike our previous partner. A good manipulator might use IT to his own advantage.

[RoseySarah]

Very true or we let ourselves be fooled thinking he is different when he is just the same trash

[IslaTheWitch]

Love bombing is a red flag for me. I prefer to progress slowly to satisfy the observer inside me.

[RoseySarah]

It sometimes got to much to soon for me too. Red flag to stop!

[Avicenna]

Yeah, it's usually obvious. Love bombing is over the top.

[Dandelion1994]

It depends on how successful the person is with their remarks. Different 'skill' levels in love bombing can make it easy or difficult to tell that it is taking place. As another user pointed out, flirting doesn't have the same nefarious undertones to it.

[RoseySarah]

Trues

[syncheart]

There is a woman at work that used to compliment me a lot. I felt like I was lead to believe she had a thing for me. Everything kinda stayed this way for years, but never progressed. Then one day I miss calculated something I was trying to do, and everything came crashing down. Now days I can't tell if she wants to be my friend or not. :(

[RoseySarah]

This is what happens a lot in work places it is so sad!

[syncheart]

@RoseySarah, I'm a janitor and the only thing that seemed to end it, was that somehow I accidentally annoyed her, and then I tried to switch my rout around so that It wouldn't happen again. This made her even more upset with me. We didn't talk for 5 months after that. Then I tried to see if I could make things right, but she got all weird about it. Things have never got back to the way they were. :(

[RoseySarah]

Yeah so her some people it takes one small dumb thing it ruins Thier world?

[syncheart]

@roseysarah I do not know how to explain it. But I will try to give my perspective. The rule is I work around them. I yield to them. If they get upset with me, I'm supposed to just walk away from it. In other words I'm kinda like a doormat. For some reason this person kinda likes to seem like they are not like the others, but at the end of the day they are exactly like the others. They enjoy being better then me. I think I was kinda like a toy to her. Emotionally I can't seem to get over it.

[RoseySarah]

Then your a toy and her toy did wrong so she tossed her toy!
No emotion for you so you can stop caring cause you were her play thing and her doormat

Women want a toy with a spine!

[syncheart]

@roseysarah where I work, if you show that you got a spine, you get into trouble! You might even get fired.

[RoseySarah]

So toxic got fired from a place like that! Got a much better job!
Just trash leaders making trash leaders so toxic

[syncheart]

@roseysarah life is not fair. I can't get another job because I don't have the ability to do anything different.

[Booklover_90]

In short, love bombing is a form of manipulation. Flirting, on the other hand, is just playful and fun.

[RoseySarah]

Very true very true but sometimes it's hard for us to tell

[Booklover_90]

Well, a love bomber’s mask usually doesn’t come off until after you’re in a relationship. That’s why it’s very important to pay attention to the red flags. Remember, a love bomber *overwhelms* you with attention, buys you gifts, professes his/her love for you early on, calls you terms of endearment, etc.

[MissStrawberry912]

😔 very true….

[RoseySarah]

@MissStrawberry912 also they bomb you with things you wanna hear! Like relationships marriage and kids and a future!

Then they just want into your panties!

[Orangekiss]

Sure can tell by some of the questions asked here on G@G. Seems a lot of girls can't figure out what is going on with a guy.

[RoseySarah]

It's always easier to tell when your Thier friend not the one in love

[SunnyRS]

As I guess a lot of people know by now here that unless someone is straight with me I don't get hints, so I don't understand flirting or love bombing.
But love bombing is still something I can pick but after it's too late.
The difference if I have to guess is that flirting is based off of genuine attraction towards someone whereas love bombing is when you put extra effort cause you desire that affection from someone else.

[molonski2]

I don't think flirting and " Love bombing " cross at all , think they are two vastly different things , I had a recent experience of love bombing , but really its about control , I was always suspect of the agenda.

BUT , I did find out too late , so I ticked that box.

[CalmUntilAbused]

I mean... I've never experienced any of these. However, the way I understand "love bombing", it's actual kindness and show of affection, just calculated (so, basically, expert acting). Flirting is most likely to be more playful and immature.

[Anonymous]

Love bombing is something narcissistic women do at the start of a relationship. They will do almost anything for the targeted guy including cooking, cleaning, money, presents, lend of a vehicle and of course as much sex as the guy wants in any position, any sex act, anywhere including threesomes etc no matter how perverse, abusive or demeaning. Then when they've got him he quickly loses his value to her.

[RoseySarah]

Same for Nguys

[Lyrem_]

It’s actually mostly men, but women so it too.

[Opinion Owner]

@Lyrem_ no its actually mostly women.

[RoseySarah]

No mostly guys you all lose interest pretty quickly after you get what ever you want!

[Nemesis2k7]

Facts! I have noticed its mostly women who do this. Get what they want, by using sex / flirt / lovebomb, but its all an act. To get what they want. Attention usually. Then they go cold. To quote.. "Walking freezer unit". You can feel their coldness

[DeeDeeDeVour]

There's an underhanded manipulation behind love-bombing, I suppose.

Those, I have easily spotted as soon as they started.

[DreamLife7]

Love bombers are annoying and insecure. I've had men try this with me. I've just pretended to not notice and talk Casually. They get pissed and pull away immediately bc they feel rejected and mad

[RoseySarah]

Yup especially online.
Like I work 12 days and most guys online are like are you ghosting me?

Blocked them 😠 my hubby knew that I can't have my phone out at work!

Loved him for being so understanding 🥰 and well we talked all night.

[DreamLife7]

Well 12 days a week is excessive lol 😆 . So I don't know if that would qualify as love bombing bc no one expects anyone to work that much especially a woman

[RoseySarah]

12 hours ops
So tired from work!

Haha true no one expects it and no one wants to!

[Yannae]

Well, flirting I see as well just letting the person know that you like her. Compliments here and there, a bit playing. And love bombing, is a bomb, an explosion of affection that could be overwhelming for her. A lot of affection, perhaps even too much all at once.

[Anonymous]

Love bombing is so so much deeper and that person slowly becomes someone you’re dating or ur boyfriend / girlfriend, they will send you lots of gifts and shower you with so much affection on another level to get you attached.. it’s pure manipulation that’s where the difference lies. While flirting, is just a way for people to let you know they like you, they wouldn’t cross any boundaries or do anything to get you attached to them.

[bobby_bush_eater]

I'm not terribly active on social media nor online dating but in in person experience I am that meme where the guy wakes up in the middle of the night 2 years later realizing she was super into me and flirting. Probably 4 times at this point lol

[MJazza]

It's impossible to tell because it all comes down to interpretation. Some people will interpret a gift of flowers as a thoughtful show of affection, others may view it as controlling.

In the UK, they made Love Bombing illegal. (They passed this law during the King's coronation and went unreported by the media and unnoticed by most of the public). It is very dangerous territory and puts a lot of innocent men at risk.

[Showtime23red]

Illegal in 42 states here in the US. Some people are calling for the Death Penalty if found guilty of it.

[NathanDavis]

as you explained it... I've not been bombed before

but yes, I would be able to tell the difference between these two

[SotiCoto]

I've never even heard of "love bombing" before. But I suppose the definition you gave made sense.
Still, it isn't as if I could identify it in practice. I'm far too Autistic for that.

[strateguy632]

i can't tell the difference both are many messages or long conversations.

[love_conquers_lust]

I don’t know. It seems like anything is clinically diagnosable in some form with enough clever wording. Like horoscopes with a degree.

[Anonymous]

I can't tell if someone was flirting.

If they tried the other I probably wouldn't believe them not that I could spot it.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I usually can tell if she's being for real with me online.

[MissBoogus]

Only after it’s too late 😒 and it’s especially effective on young girls never in a relationship before

[Mark987]

I never knew this was a thing. I just learned something new and people say ( GAG) doesn't provide anything good lol.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Yeah love bombing sounds like emotional rape just with a less shitty terminology. Back in my younger times this behavior was referred to as fake ass ho.

[Joshydavid25]

Yeah, I've been love bombed a couple of times..

[OddBeMe]

I would imagine in the moment, no.

That’s what makes it so effective. But love bombing is for negative intent, for sure.

[LDDPEinTWOpumps]

I don't think that a woman would ever flirt or anything like that with me so I never think that a woman is or would ever flirt/hit on me so I don't think like that ever 😭🥺🙄😭🥺🙄

[boobliker]

both are the same getting some one to see you like them,

[Samhanks]

Love bombing is like Over Reacting and trying to Manipulate a person !

[WhitneySnow]

I can usually tell

[Jennz6]

Check your grammar, should be “ TOO LATE”

[RoseySarah]

Thanks really a fire and forget question but every one loved it! ❤️

[stratford]

I'm hopeless at reading the signs.

[Shark_61695]

I assume the latter but rarely experience either.

[Jamie05rhs]

I can tell easily. It's really obvious.

[Kathy1111]

no i can't

[Ruenella_]

Yes..

[Iron_Man]

Yes l

[krin_m]

You can tell.