s Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and for either positive or negative purposes. Psychologists have identified love bombing as a possible part of a cycle of abuse and have warned against it.
Usually it happens in online dating with someone flooding you with compliments and attention. Then getting cold when you don't give them what they want.
Guys what are your experiences with this?
what about this? We were having a snack day and work and the manager sends out a reminder email that this was the day we are having snacks. I then write to her asking if she brought any goodies. She then replies yes i brought some donuts cookies and pretzels with some Christmas trip dip its really yummy and some cheddar cheese puffs with a smiley emoji.
I then to keep it going say, ok sounds good.. I'll be sure to try some. She doesn't reply anything back. Hours later she comes by asking how their day is going and seemed like it was to see who all got something to eat. I only had my plate with food she said she brought on it. She didn't say anything but she sure was looking.
Hours later I strike up a teams conversation stating. Hi.. that Christmas tree dip was good. It compliments the preztels. Cheddar cheese bites were good too as love cheddar cheese. I could almost make a meal from snacking. I didn't eat all that much for lunch.
She then says awesome! glad you liked it!! I didn't eat all that much either. I say well i had ate a lemon loaf before I had come to work so that and snacking Im pretty full.
she's replies i love lemon things! I then say yeah i go to starbucks and they probably know my name i go so much (mind you each of these comments she's either smiling laughing or liking them).
I said between that and coffee lol. She says i dont drink coffee at all but my husband does. I hit the brakes and just quit talking at that point feeling completly embarrassed like i did something wrong at that point.
Hours later leaving to go home, i forgot all about it and hoping nothing negative would come from it, I pack up my things and head to the door, she comes running out of her towards me trying to flag me down and says here do you want these (it was those cheddar bites) she seemed determined i get them with other people standing around watching the entire interaction.
To anyone else was a gesture to get rid of food from the snack day, but to me im like there's more to it than that. she could have just as easily took them home but she thought enough about it hours later to do that.
Then there's at other times on previous awkward laughing and sharing odd personal things with me. somedays there will be a quiet tension then other days she strikes up conversations in person. May i add we are both married?
I've never attempted to separate the two terms. I don't think it's something that I need to be concerned about as a married man. I suppose love bombing can occur within a relationship rather than prior to forming the relationship.
I can tell you that kids always try to do something nice when they want you to give them something in return🤣
All my life experiences and observations show that IT is impossible to distinguish between flirting and love bombing until you are already in a relationship and the person doing the love bombing shows his true colours. Only then, when they are certain that we cannot react immediately or will be confused, do they start becoming more obsessive and even agressive. In the early stages of dating or getting to know each other we don't know enough about the other person to decide which is IT. We just pay attention to the nice compliments, gifts, etc. Thinking that IT is nice and that person just might be the one or he/she seems fun to be with, unlike our previous partner. A good manipulator might use IT to his own advantage.
Love bombing is a red flag for me. I prefer to progress slowly to satisfy the observer inside me.
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Yeah, it's usually obvious. Love bombing is over the top.
It depends on how successful the person is with their remarks. Different 'skill' levels in love bombing can make it easy or difficult to tell that it is taking place. As another user pointed out, flirting doesn't have the same nefarious undertones to it.
There is a woman at work that used to compliment me a lot. I felt like I was lead to believe she had a thing for me. Everything kinda stayed this way for years, but never progressed. Then one day I miss calculated something I was trying to do, and everything came crashing down. Now days I can't tell if she wants to be my friend or not. :(
In short, love bombing is a form of manipulation. Flirting, on the other hand, is just playful and fun.
Sure can tell by some of the questions asked here on G@G. Seems a lot of girls can't figure out what is going on with a guy.
As I guess a lot of people know by now here that unless someone is straight with me I don't get hints, so I don't understand flirting or love bombing.
But love bombing is still something I can pick but after it's too late.
The difference if I have to guess is that flirting is based off of genuine attraction towards someone whereas love bombing is when you put extra effort cause you desire that affection from someone else.
I don't think flirting and " Love bombing " cross at all , think they are two vastly different things , I had a recent experience of love bombing , but really its about control , I was always suspect of the agenda.
BUT , I did find out too late , so I ticked that box.
I mean... I've never experienced any of these. However, the way I understand "love bombing", it's actual kindness and show of affection, just calculated (so, basically, expert acting). Flirting is most likely to be more playful and immature.
There's an underhanded manipulation behind love-bombing, I suppose.
Those, I have easily spotted as soon as they started.
Love bombers are annoying and insecure. I've had men try this with me. I've just pretended to not notice and talk Casually. They get pissed and pull away immediately bc they feel rejected and mad
Love bombing is something narcissistic women do at the start of a relationship. They will do almost anything for the targeted guy including cooking, cleaning, money, presents, lend of a vehicle and of course as much sex as the guy wants in any position, any sex act, anywhere including threesomes etc no matter how perverse, abusive or demeaning. Then when they've got him he quickly loses his value to her.
Well, flirting I see as well just letting the person know that you like her. Compliments here and there, a bit playing. And love bombing, is a bomb, an explosion of affection that could be overwhelming for her. A lot of affection, perhaps even too much all at once.
I'm not terribly active on social media nor online dating but in in person experience I am that meme where the guy wakes up in the middle of the night 2 years later realizing she was super into me and flirting. Probably 4 times at this point lol
Love bombing is so so much deeper and that person slowly becomes someone you’re dating or ur boyfriend / girlfriend, they will send you lots of gifts and shower you with so much affection on another level to get you attached.. it’s pure manipulation that’s where the difference lies. While flirting, is just a way for people to let you know they like you, they wouldn’t cross any boundaries or do anything to get you attached to them.
It's impossible to tell because it all comes down to interpretation. Some people will interpret a gift of flowers as a thoughtful show of affection, others may view it as controlling.
In the UK, they made Love Bombing illegal. (They passed this law during the King's coronation and went unreported by the media and unnoticed by most of the public). It is very dangerous territory and puts a lot of innocent men at risk.
u as you explained it... I've not been bombed before
but yes, I would be able to tell the difference between these two
I've never even heard of "love bombing" before. But I suppose the definition you gave made sense.
Still, it isn't as if I could identify it in practice. I'm far too Autistic for that.
i can't tell the difference both are many messages or long conversations.
I can't tell if someone was flirting.
If they tried the other I probably wouldn't believe them not that I could spot it.
I don’t know. It seems like anything is clinically diagnosable in some form with enough clever wording. Like horoscopes with a degree.
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