How do I seduce my tutor?

[hermitfrog]

Before anyone says it’s unethical, here is some context:

I am 18 and he is 22. I have private tutoring sessions with him at either my house or his, he has no affiliation with my college and no power to decide my grades. He is single. Tutoring is not his main source of income.

I have only had a few sessions with him so far but I am very aware that I am attracted to him - he’s kind, funny, very intelligent, tall and physically very much my type. I look forward to our sessions just to listen to him talk and discuss books he is passionate about.

I’m not totally fixed on what I want out of this yet, I know I would like a physical relationship with him but the possibility of wanting an relationship is there - and I know my mum approves as she’s said multiple times she would like me to find a guy like him and thinks we would be well suited. (He worked for her at one point).

Basically I need advice on how to seduce and flirt with him. Ideally I want him to want me and perhaps make the first move or at least want to before I make it obvious that I’m attracted to him. Any advice would be so appreciated, especially advice specific to seducing him in a tutoring setting!

Updates

2 mo

Additional information - I find our sessions very informative and he’s a great teacher, but my exams are in a couple of months and after that I will not have him as a tutor any more - I would like to initiate some kind of relationship with him that we could pursue outside of tutoring and after he is no longer my tutor. I’m not looking to use my tutoring sessions to have a relationship with him, I just need some advice on how to flirt during them to get the ball rolling.

[Oliverlogan263]

I would not recommend pursuing a romantic or physical relationship with your tutor. Here are a few reasons why:

1. Power dynamics - Even though he doesn't directly control your grades, he is in a position of authority as your tutor. Any relationship risks making things uncomfortable or feeling coercive.

2. Boundaries - Tutoring requires professional, appropriate boundaries that a romantic involvement would cross and potentially damage.

3. Career impact - If his employer or colleagues found out, it could jeopardize his job or reputation, even if things seem consensual now.

4. Age gap - You are just 18 while he's still relatively young at 22. Your differing life stages and experiences make true informed consent questionable.

5. Trust in the tutoring - A personal relationship risks affecting the trust, focus and effectiveness of your academic sessions together moving forward.

Rather than pursue a romance now, I'd suggest focusing fully on your studies with this tutor's help. If you continue feeling attracted to each other naturally over time without that power dynamic in play, then maybe a relationship could work down the line. But for now, protect both your interests by keeping things professional. Your education and his career should take priority. Just my two cents!

[hermitfrog]

I really appreciate your thorough and detailed advice! I agree that these things need to be taken into consideration. Here are some of my thoughts - I am 19 in a couple of months whilst he is very newly 22. He works for himself in terms of tutoring and it is a relaxed agreement, he just does as a hobby almost. This may or may not cause further conflict in your opinion, but in his actual job he works closely with my parents and they are professionally impressed with him - like I said my mum had wanted to set me up with him, so his employers would not disapprove. In a few months he will no longer be my tutor as I will have sat my exams, so I am just looking for advice to subtly flirt in my time with him now in order to get the ball rolling for when he is no longer my tutor! Thanks again.

[Tharithi]

Why does your mom like him

[hermitfrog]

@Tharithi He’s very hard working, very intelligent, well spoken - he’s very generous with his assistance and time. Just a very kind and respectful man in general.

[Tharithi]

How do u both look? Height and weight wise?

[hermitfrog]

@Tharithi I think he’s handsome, brown hair, blue eyes, tanned, a bit of a beard/stubble, tall - over 6ft and an athletic build but not too big - I can tell he works out or does some kind of sport. I’m 5’9 ish, slim, I do weightlifting but I’m not that muscular yet haha. Brunette, blue eyes. I would say that we are in similar leagues in terms of attractiveness.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm okay, with that additional context it does make the situation a bit different than I originally thought. Since he's only a couple years older and it's more of a casual tutoring thing rather than a traditional student-teacher thing, I can see why you'd be interested in pursuing something.

As for subtly flirting during your remaining sessions, a few ideas that come to mind:

- Find excuses to touch his arm lightly when you're looking at something together or making a point. Nothing crazy but casual little touches can hint at interest.

- When the topics get more personal, really focus on maintaining eye contact with him as you talk. Smile a lot too so he sees you're engaged and enjoying the conversation.

- Mention hobbies or music/movies you're into and casually ask what he thinks of them. Get a sense of any shared interests you could bond over outside of studying.

- See if you can arrange your next couple sessions somewhere more low-key than your house, like a quiet café or bookshop. Sometimes changing up the environment helps bring a more relaxing vibe.

- Drop subtle compliments about his knowledge or passion for the subjects. Guys usually like hearing they're good at their jobs.

I'd feel him out carefully and back off if you sense any hesitance on his part too. But it sounds like he'd probably be into you too if you can show your interest in a chill way before your sessions end. Let me know if any of those flirting strategies sound helpful! Good luck with everything.

[firenine909]

When he talks with you, you could ask how he’s doing and ask him a few questions about his self. Try to warm him up to chatting with you. Do this for the next few meetings where you’re being a lot more friendly with him and make sure you smile at him more too


Depending on time ask him out to maybe study at a coffee shop or somewhere else depending on when you tutor. It’ll be easier to flirt somewhere that isn’t your forced setting. Ask him about what he’s doing and tell him more about yourself. Tell him you found going somewhere else fun and would like to do something like that again. Ask for his number


At some point when you feel like he’s more receptive to you, tease him and tell him that he’s cute. If he has feelings for you, ask him out and kiss him but you want him to open up more to the idea of dating you more before you actually do so

[SueShe]

Basically, you want the GaG community to do your homework so that you can fornicate with him. Do I get this correctly?

It seems that you are more interested in the tutor than the education you are supposed to receive and thus, I would say it is a total waste of money to even have tuition since you are not interested in learning something.

Do what you think would be best to tempt him and since you are so adamant about copulating with him, it is not important that you continue the tuition. Simply wear something that you think he would like and let the charm operate.

[hermitfrog]

No you do not have this correctly. I find his tuition very valuable and am just looking for advice on how to subtly flirt with him so that we can pursue a relationship outside of tutoring/in a couple of months when he is no longer my tutor. Being attracted to him is actually a great motivation for me to go to the sessions and listen intently to him, so I learn a lot.

[Nikki1989]

It really is so incredibly easy with men. Just flaunt your bodily charms and most men will weaken.

[hermitfrog]

do you have any advice on how to do that specifically within a tutoring session or just any examples haha

[BCRanger10]

You don't. Just because he has qualities you're looking for in a boyfriend doesn't mean that you should pursue him as such. This is a relationship that should remain strictly professional.

He may not be in a position of authority, but he is in a position of influence. This could come back at one point or another to harm one or both of you in some way. Quite simply, there is too much risk. And yes, there would still be ethical concerns about this.

[foxrider77]

If I’m reading into it you two should grab coffee sometime. Just hang out a few times then drop the books. Go on a few dates then study each other behind closed doors. Get that A+ you been working so hard for.

[slatyb]

He's not going to make the first move -- that would be highly unethical and the end of his tutoring career. I suggest that you contact him after you are no longer working with him.

[strateguy632]

mixing "work" with relationships is bad advice. his job tutor won't be with a relationship.

[hermitfrog]

In a few months he will not be my tutor anymore, so I am just looking for advice on how to flirt and get the ball rolling in order to pursue something when he is no longer my tutor!

[boggboss]

If your needing to ask I don't think u will be able to seduce him into asking u out when it's u intrested in him

[hermitfrog]

I feel that’s a little harsh haha. I know how to flirt I am just looking to see if anyone has an opinions on how to flirt in this specific situation. If he doesn’t ask me out, it’s not the end of the world, I can ask him, I just want him to be attracted to me and consider the options.

[boggboss]

The only flirting that could be done without u talking about stuff would be flaunting your body for him to know your intrested the rest is all things that could be confused in a 1to1 setting and even then it requires him to risk his sessions with u and reputation from him pov to make that move

[spartan55]

How do you know he is single? Because he said so? 😂 😂
So many things can go sidways, but do what you want.

[Staximus]

The best thing you could do is not seduce him in the tutoring session. Ask him to go somewhere and do something fun with you and then make your move.

[hermitfrog]

I agree, I definitely want the relationship to be outside of tutoring but I need to flirt with/ seduce him a little in the session I think to make him more likely to be interested!

[Staximus]

No, keep the tutoring all business. Don't eat before the tutoring so you're hungry. At the end of the session, say "hey I'm hungry, do you want to go get a burger?" Or whatever kind of food you like. Go somewhere casual and have lunch or dinner with him and get to know each other, flirt, whatever. Talk about other stuff besides what you're studying.

[Anonymous]

Physically your type? Wdym 🤣

[Opinion Owner]

Why is he well suited?

[hermitfrog]

Just nice and tall (I myself am tall), brown hair, blue eyes, very nice smile. I can tell he works out.

[hermitfrog]

He’s very intelligent and hard working, considerate, we have similar interests - a passion for English literature and intellectually we are well matched.

[Opinion Owner]

Ohhh why do u want a physical relationship

[hermitfrog]

Well like I said I would just be interested to see where it goes, obviously I am physically and sexually attracted to him so a physical relationship is definitely something I would like, but perhaps I would also like an actual relationship with him, though I think I would need more time to consider that and get to know each other better

[Opinion Owner]

Wow 🤣why u so attracted

[hermitfrog]

well like I said physically he’s my type and intellectually aswell - therefore i’m attracted to him

[Drumlin2001]

No. Leave him alone

[jahaims]

Just be a slut

[hermitfrog]

could you be more specific lol

[firenine909]

Mister alpha male thinks throwing your body over him and trying to make him horny is the best way to go

This only works if he wants to fuck you. If he’s not interested in you, you’re fucked. Also him doing this during a tutoring shift could easily get him fired lmao

[laly520]

don't