What spacial distance to you maintain between (A) someone you are attracted to, (B) someone you're "just friends" with (C) casual acquaintances?

[DishLady]

I was talking to someone about this earlier in the year and then caught myself in a moment yesterday. There's a definite spacial distance I'll keep between myself and another person. I was wondering if that's standard for everyone, if it's a cultural thing, etc. Would love your take on it!

To share:

For me, acquaintances and work colleagues get the same space, which is a smidge further than my natural arm length (slightly less space than in a gym/workout class). This allows me to lean in and pat a shoulder or shake a hand in a cordial way, but they get the message that we're in formal space and others register this as well.

Friends get sorted into two categories: Close friends we tend to stand shoulder-to-shoulder, elbow each other, hug and laugh, etc. It's very hands-on, I guess, so it's not something I do with MOST friends. Then there are general friends who fall into that category where you're friendly and joke around but physical contact is limited to a quick hello/goodbye and the occasional leaning in if you literally can't hear them. There's enough space for about 5 martini glasses between you...

Someone I'm attracted to... it's like a game of magnets. There's space but it quickly vanishes. It's like "close friends" but the movement and space is fully charged so the proximity lingers a little longer. It seems very bold, but can disappear in a moment. So interesting.

Do you guys and gals also have these points of spacial demarcation?

[HawkPerception]

Hmm... I don't think I've thought about this much. I feel like I subconsciously try to keep a respectful distance from others in general to not make others (especially women) feel uncomfortable. I'm not a really touchy person, unless I'm in a relationship with someone or I have clear romantic intentions towards them.

[DishLady]

Next time you're around a person take a sec to check it out.

[worldscolide]

As you know im married. If there is someone im attracted to, i dont allow them around my self. Its not due to any trust issues either. Its due to just not wanting any kind of poor impression to be put out there, and i dont like misunderstandings. Casual acquaintances i call on occasion, and hang out with in group settings (co workers are an example). As to friends, I only really have one of those. Someone i have known since i was in grade school. and we hang out as often as we can. My wife included cause he's her friend too. he was my best man at my wedding.

[DishLady]

No no, but I mean your wife has carte blanche access, obviously.

YES! I was telling someone the other day that it doesn't matter whether WE know we're just friends, we need to comport ourselves the way that won't allow gossip and other junk to kick up.

Aww, that's sweet. I like that he's a shared friend also. :)

[MannMitAntworten]

Down the mountain it is usually just polite hellos. Up the mountain it ranges for a hardy howdy and how are ya, to tight hugs. I wasn’t much of a hugger with anyone but significant others … this broke me of that. Now everyone wants to huh hi and hug bye up here. A friend from down the mount was with me ip here. He said it was like hanging out with a celebrity because everyone knows me and approaches me with pleasantries and what not. There are worse things in life than being liked, right?

[DishLady]

Lol. Popular guy.

If you aren't a big hugger you wouldn't survive my social circle. Everyone is hugging and kissing hi and bye all day and friends tend not to leave you with a lot of personal space. With my non-mediterranean friends space is WAY WAY more defined. 3-4 feet for acquaintances, 2 feet for friends only, and 0-1 foot for anything sassy.

[MannMitAntworten]

I am used to the hugging part now. The kissing thing doesn’t happen here. A fee women are that way with me, ‘sometimes’. Cheek thing. Still, it too catches me off guard when they do.

[DishLady]

Yeah of course the cheek thing. You should come here, I'll toss you at my church aunties till you're completely desensitized to it.

[MannMitAntworten]

Oh my

[DishLady]

That’s right. I’ll wait for you outside with wipes and stuff to get all the smudgy lipstick off then take you for flapjack breakfast around the corner. (Or you can leave the lipstick… badge of honor and all that.)

[MannMitAntworten]

Dear me. Some gals wear that heavy viscosity lipstick that takes a can of WD-40 and elbow grease to remove. You might be rubbing the stuff off for a while.

[DishLady]

I’ll just have to sacrifice the time. 😂

[MannMitAntworten]

Fair enough. :-p

[blackgaletiger]

For B and C at least 1-2 feet apart. For A i feel like 6 feet is an appropriate distance

[DishLady]

You'd keep someone your attracted to 6 feet apart?

[WhitneySnow]

Hmm. Pretty sure I agree with you.

[Stefan04]

First time I’ve thought of it