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Basically, I don't remember guys being this overtly animalistic when I was younger. Now... it's like a complete free for all. Guys just seem to say whatever's on their mind -- often something very sexual, which I was raised to see as disrespectful. I can't tell if the guy is serious or not.
When I was younger I remember a few guys would just stare and be very awkwardly flirtatious towards me but I didn't understand, so I'd just answer their questions at face value then wonder why they were still standing around staring... So I'd say "bye" thinking they were just waiting for the polite cue. But the jocks were always the ones to be more forward, to "try their luck" in an overt manner I'd laugh at and shut down.
Now (look how many years later), some guys will still stand around with the same goofy expression on their face and the same awkward approach I still have trouble identifying as flirtatious... and then the overly-direct guys will swoop in with animalistic flirting tactics that I find really disrespectful.
What's changed is (1) the rate of the animalistic propositions (and how bold a guy is willing to be) as well as (2) the age range is now very odd, spanning from guys who are TOO young to guys who could basically be my dad, which also seems creepy to me (but that's a topic for a different question).
I feel like Goldilocks... Where tf is the "just right" guy?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
16Opinion
It’s because of the way society is today with being brainwashed and influenced by social media. Times have definitely changed since you and I were younger for sure. Me personally didn’t allow social media to influence me in any way what’s , and I am still a respectful guy to a girl I am interested in , and treat her the same way I did when I was younger. But it does shock me when I witness other people trying to pursue someone , by the way that they talk to them , and unfortunately it works for them in most cases , which blows my mind even more. It’s like respect went out the window these days and people that haven’t really experienced respect, think it’s normal to be treated or talk to that way. It’s the craziest thing. It just goes to show we are old school and not within the times anymore lol
I guess so! If you heard some of the things guys (25-40) will say, your jaw would drop. I'm also not into dating much younger that way. We're not on the same wavelength at all.
But guys in our age group (we'll say roughly 45 to 55) can be really overt too... and they're good guys, just with women they're... animals. I don't get it.
Yea unfortunately a lot of guys’ that gave their heart to a girl that ended up with a broken heart , can make them bitter and disrespectful and raunchy towards other girls’ . So basically once someone has their heart shit on , it’s a good chance that they aren’t going to be as respectful as they once were to other people , after I was cheated on for the very first time when I was younger , my whole outlook on females’ sadly wasn’t the same , for a little while , my trust for girls’ went out the window and I guarded myself more , I still liked girls’ and was still dating girls’ but I had a wall up protecting my heart from being lied to and betrayed , so for me to fully give my heart to a girl , it wasn’t an easy process , I also somewhat had the
mindset that all girls’ couldn’t be trusted after i experienced that with my first cheating ex. So that took me time as well to get over , especially when I met a girl that showed interest in me , so I didn’t rush anything with her whatsoever , I took the slow road instead of the fast road , to give me time to really get to know her, even if we were having sex , I still told her I need more time and asked her to be FWB’s instead , and I hated that I was that way, because I knew i was never that way before I was cheated on. Nowadays all we hear is horrible things about the opposite sex , and sadly it drills into peoples’ heads to make them think that’s the way it is. Nowadays casual sex is like the new norm and relationships may or may not come after that. People today have become more selfish and disrespectful to each other , and I blame social media for being a big part of the reason , before we carried around cell phones with internet technology, back when we were younger , i remember meeting a beautiful girl and i only had eyes for her , because I wasn’t bombarded with constant variety , people actually respected each other more and valued each other more because we really didn’t give a shit about what
What other people were doing the only people we cared about were the ones in our lives mainly , shit we use to share one phone line as well lol , So when someone was in a relationship or a marriage people respected their relationship more and backed off, nowadays people don’t back off because they easily have access into their lives with internet technology, Shit i remember when MySpace came out, that was the start of running into old friends that you probably thought you would never see or hear from again in your life , then Facebook came out and it just got worse lol
Even my marriage started to go downwards when my ex got addicted to Facebook , she started comparing our lives to other peoples and started being disrespectful towards me because of it , she was running into friends and exes that she thought she would never see again and out of nowhere they are back in her life, so it became convenient for people and easier for people to enter each others “ lives because of social media
And sadly it’s just going to get worse as technology advances
How are you meeting these people? 😂 Because I don't ever see em. I've always been respectful in my approach. If I'm interested in a girl, I'll approach her and compliment her on what I noticed (ex. Nice eyes, beautiful smile, beautiful dress or I love her style, etc). Then on the rare occasion, if I'm feeling confident, I'll ask if I could get her number and we could meet up for coffee or go for a walk sometime.
If you’re seeing animalistic guys approaching you then you’re at the wrong places or apps.
It’s just the way guys approach and talk to women now. It’s odd.
When i was dating, i always emphasized that I am a gentleman. . . but that every gentleman is also a man. That was generally enough to explain my position.
It's been that way for about 20 years with all the constant ridiculous songs and the way everybody approaches everything all these people like oh my god what happened to the human race we're all animals we can all flip just like a domesticated dog and flipping by its owner we're all a bunch of weirdo universal rejects why do you think the aliens left us.
Too many people put stock in all this bullshit that's on porn and all this other crap and all these damn weirdos thinking the only thing out there is basically black guys in their freaking supposed huge dongs.
True... I guess all the "back it up" songs have finally warped the human mind.
I do not think so. There have always been guys who have very poor self control. Perhaps social media just gives guys like this more of a voice some it SEEMS like its getting worse.
Yes. Perhaps you're right.
I don’t approach women I’m very shy but when I talk to them, I’m very respectful. that’s not my style to go up to somebody’s table at lunchtime or whenever it is to start talking to the girl, my sister told me about guys that did that to her bothered her and that kind of brainwashed me to leave them alone
I think it's paid to be rather outward for a very long time , animalistic may be a stretch but call it as you will , you want something you go get it..
May change country to country , state to state , but certainly how it's done in Australia 🦘 .
Outward -- or open -- is a good thing to have. What I'm referring to is just... rude... no filter communication of sexual comments and suggestions.
Problem is the mild guys all saw Metoo and women saying don't approach and being well mannered or just plain shitscared of the whole life in prison/execution for statute violation bit
The result is they stopped approaching at all even to the extent that the really paranoid ones won't stand within 6 feet of a woman, enter a room alone with one or even cross the street if one is approaching
The bold i. e. animalistic ones don't care or too foolish to understand that so carry on being knuckle dragging, a step away from rapist neanderthals
I had an uncle who when he was a kid he used to hide behind a tree and throw rocks at a girl he liked. I think that is pretty overt.
There you go... Is he still throwing rocks at them?
No, he has died years ago. He used to tell me this story a lot
Depends on the market you're in. Obviously blue collar workers and their ilk are going to treat you much differently than church men.
I think men have started to realize that it's a numbers game, and that a lot of women just want a meal ticket, so might as well speed up the process. That's why men aren't "wooing" women the same anymore. Insert decades of feminism and a sexual revolution to explain the rest.
Hmm. I'm not in the blue collar circle. These are all either white collar workers or guys from church (who are also white collar workers).
Maybe look in a different dating pool?
It’s not a dating pool, it’s just wherever a gal goes nowadays this sort of guy is there to bug her.
Some of us don't give a fuck anymore. If getting a woman to agree to a date means I have to "placate" her, then she's not the one for me.
Most men spend to much time being someone other than their authentic self to please a woman.
The irony is you view male honesty as disrespectful.
It's not honesty when a guy talks to a woman as if she's a stripper... for example.
And pardon me, but women do a great many more things to themselves to please a guy, so kindly stow that thought away, will you? Guys aren't "suffering" just bc we ask them to be nice to us after we take an hour to doll ourselves up to stand in front of you.
Well, yeah, that's cause females are people pleasers. Women are the co-dependent gender.
But her being feminine doesn't mean I gotta tame myself. Frankly, guys that do are the dishonest ones. It's why you hear so many stories of women wondering why "he was so nice in the beginning... blah blah blah".
You know I was just about to post about this but I'll comment here. So and I'm not trying to be rude at all but from my experience black American men have been the most rude and obnoxious in their approach of women to the point of aggression that's beyond scary. I generally ignore them. Notice I said black American and not African.
What distinction do you make between Black American and African American?
@Jamal-Darnell the mannerisms are completely different. African men seem to be more masculine, educated, family oriented, traditional and approach women in a more respectful manner.
Ah ok I see what you mean, it's true that African men are probably more traditional and family oriented, but I don't think the "more masculine" part is really true
I don't have that experience with African or African American men. Men from that community have always been respectfully appreciative, but nothing rude or crazy as far as I could ever tell. Actually the guys in question are all caucasian and simply entitled af.
@DishLady don't get me started on that lol 😂. We will save that for another day
@Smileygirl2000 Don't need to save it for another day you can share your experience
Respectfully, Jamal, the question has nothing at all to do with that. You want to hear more about it DM the individual.
Ok sorry
I don't even approach girls and I avoid flirting most the time. A lot of guys I know do the same too.
They don't want something awkward to happen and then they have to see that woman everyday in a place they frequent to regularly.
And me and many others are mostly in all day.
Yes this is spreading in all societies even in our typical conservative societies like here in the middle east I don't know exactly why but it seems nothing is under control any more may be dads and moms are busy watching reels rather raising their kids any more and the children are watching social media and TikTok day and night which runs on number of views and in order to do so influencers do any thing
If anything they are more afraid of approaching women. Afraid of being called a creep or accused of sexual assault.
I didn't have that experience. I prefer guys being open and daring.
@Soapsoaplady same here
OPEN is fine. Disrespectful is not fine.
I guess it depends on perception
I can proudly say I don't participate in such behavior, I don't even approach people in general
@DishLady I don’t have a good answer for you, sorry
It works