I'm pretty, smart, charismatic, and a college student. Why am I not being asked out?

[Anonymous]

I go to a pretty big university. I am also in a sorority that has a pretty good standing on campus. I was a transfer so technically this is my second semester of being on campus and I have yet to go on a date or be asked out by a guy. I know people will say "go to parties" and I do I just never meet anyone willing to ask me out on a date. My school as I believe many universities are is somewhat segregated to an extent meaning most black people hang out with other black people and the same for white people, even though we all still mix racial groups still stick to mostly their own (I hate it but I guess that's life). I myself do not discriminate I like guys of all races but I meet guys at frats and all they want to do is hook up, and then I go to house parties and guys literally just stare at me (especially black guys) I don't know maybe I give off the bitch exterior because I'm not one to just grind on any guy I see I just don't really like that but I still think I should at least get asked out. All guys do is smile at me or stare at me and I can't figure out how to get them to actually come up and ask me out. I'm sick of getting all dressed up and going out only to drunkenly make out with some frat boy skeeze it's gross, I'm way too pretty for it (not tooting my own horn but I think every girl should acknowledge her beauty and be confident enough to know she's beautiful and not be insecure) and I'm ready for something more. I'm also not one for casual sex it's a personal choice and I would rather sleep with my boyfriend than just any guy. I'm not looking for a relationship at all I just want to meet a guy that I can be close with and I look at dates as ways to get to know someone better. Does anyone have a similar problem? What's your advice? Oh and btws I'm a sophomore, a bit shy but not overly.

[Konnour]

You're probably doing something what makes you unapproachable.

Here's an article about it: link

..also I'll admit, I didn't read anything past the title of your question, but in all that wall of text I immediately saw words "bitch exterior"

[Asker]

Well maybe you should read it all I think that's the whole point. I definitely said maybe I give off a bitch exterior but I don't know. I really am not like that at all though I legit smile at strangers and feel terrible if I don't hold the door after me so I don't think that's the case but maybe others see something else.

[Konnour]

That 'exterior' got little to do what like you actually are.

[rotinaj10]

Frat dudes aren't looking to date sorority girls... They're looking to bone them. Try actually talking to the guys in your classes or that you see around campus.

[Asker]

I know and I am totally over the frat scene. I would rather date a normal boy (non-greek lol). I honestly don't know how to talk to a guy I find attractive. I'm a bit shy so initiating a convo with a boy I think is cute is incredibly hard for me and I am like afraid of embarrassing myself in front of a cute guy or seeming like a slut for pursuing a guy. I don't know with age I've become a bit more confident and I try to at least smile at someone I find attractive but it's still difficult.

[rotinaj10]

Look, every guy wants to get into your pants. You just need to find the ones aren't just interested in that. College is a great time to meet and date different people. The majority of good relationships start with a good conversation. So lock up your chastity belt and get to mingling.

[Moloch]

Going over your question and the comments you've given, it looks like you have high standards and the men around you know you have high standards. That in itself is very intimidating. As a shy person, you should already know that approaching people is not easy, now couple that with the person you like having high standards and you should understand how hard it is.

[Asker]

i really don't have high standards lol I think every person has something they are and aren't attracted to but I'm not cruel to a guy just because I'm not physically attracted to him.If a guy has an incredible personality and alright looks I would happily be willing to date him.

[Moloch]

That's what we all say.

[Paullus]

Maybe, time will tell. Going to frat parties is not helping you get the right guys. Try meeting smart confident guys from your classes. Get out of your comfort zone and try something new, you never know

[askq21]

Did you try library? just for reading, group study areas or Library seminar.

[Asker]

lol if I'm in the library I'm studying not flirting. I don't really know how flirting in a library works quite frankly even though I've heard the idea before. Most of my friends are in houses and the ones that aren't still party with blk frats and I don't love going out with them because they are a tad bit loose for my liking and the leave you in a party where you don't know anyone types. It's just annoying like I just want someone to be really close to intimately I don't know why it's so hard lol.

[askq21]

Yes ...you're right...library is for studying; but you can keep like dedicated "flirting hours" in library...where you can "not study",you should try, it'll be fun. Your question reminds me of good times I had in college and grad. :)

[Anonymous]

The fact that none you find attractive in your classes shows they are in demand there and there's little chance they don't know this, and most of those guys are out to get laid because they know what they have.

[Anonymous]

Forget the frat scene, and try to meet guys in your classes.

[Asker]

I tried but their are literally no guys that I find attractive in any of my classes! Plus I am not allowed to talk in ANY of my classes.

[Opinion Owner]

That sucks. Are you taking any large classes? I know you say you're a transfer student, but you should consider taking some of the intro classes that freshmen usually take, which have hundreds (sometimes thousands) of students in a single lecture.