How to get your boyfriend to be more respectful towards you?

[Anonymous]

My guy and I have been dating for over 2 years now and he is really sweet all around good guy. His only downfall is his passive behavior. Talking to him, trying to start a conversation with him is impossible. No I don't attack him as soon as he gets off work or anything like that. what's worse is he has more to with his friend than me, talks to him more, has respect for him, etc. I've tried talking this issue over with him before but he files it under "bitching" and ignores. So I used a nicer tone, wasn't mad, all that good stuff, still got nothing no response nadda. what's worse is he is verrry unaffectionate, like god forbid you try to hold his hand or barely touch his shoulder and he shrugging it off in disgust. Even when we are by ourselves, nadda. I mean I've accepted most of his quirks and all but... I've even asked him if he just wasn't interested anymore, I wasn't mad I told him it was fine just needed to know. His answer "I am". Asked him why, "idk just are"

I have been really trying everything I can think of to get more feedback from him. Like I said I try discussing what's bothering me, but he has literally told me he doesn't care. Soo...I just keep my problems to myself now because I don't want to become one of those naggy gfs. Anyways the main things I just want from him is, some feedback give and take, little bit more affectionate(I know it won't be much), and all and all to just be considered and respected. I just don't know how to approach this. Everyone has already said to just talk to him, but that's not how to approach him I can tell you that haha. So please just tell me a couple of things that I might need to accomplish this? He is a really good guy and I know he does want to be with me because he is defiantly the type, if he doesn't want it, like it, or whatever won't have it, another minor problem. But anyways just need a little help in that department please (:

Thanks for reading

[QueenBeatris]

he is pulling back and you need to give him his space,dont always be tp eager or available,u can't be predictable all the time,he will lose interest..the best thing I have heard to do,which I have tried,is to mirror their actions,if he pulls away you do the same,eventually he will wonder why and won't want to lose u,make yourself less available and do your own things more often,not making him center of your world..he will be more attracted to you when you show him you do not need him to entertain you,u are independent and happy doing things on your own,this will make him more attracted to you and he will begin to come closer

[martyfellow]

This is why you shouldn't have an exclusive tie to anyone at your age. Neither of you has matured and lived enough yet; you should be free to explore the world without wondering what your s.o. thinks. If he thinks at all.

I think your s.o. does't have many opinons and mostly does't know what to say when you tell him your problems, because he's never lived through them himself yet.

[Asker]

I,m 19 years old and he 21? I think I put the wrong date on here whoops lol but yea I get what your saying, and that does makes sense (: thanks

[martyfellow]

I think so, regardless of chronological age..people matur at different rates depending on life experiences.

Best answer, right?

[Ameya]

Probably he takes you for granted, that's all I can analyse here...also you are allowing yourself to be bogged down by accepting all his complaints or ignoring...shows you have low self esteem or so...don't do that...you need to give him a tit for tat...ignore him for a few days and see if he comes to you by himself...

[Asker]

Yea I kinda figured that too, I've done the whole ignoring thing for up to 2 weeks lol, and when he started respecting me for a bout a week or so I finally gave in and starting slowly talking to him, and things would be good but it usually ends back up at square one, but thanks for the advice Ill keep that in mind

[Ameya]

Sure, see I guess he suffers from other frustrations in life and he is venting it out at you...Men do that because they 'think' that one girl is never going to leave them no matter what...they make that one woman like a scapegoat to puke all their anger, to get or feel importance which they don't find or get elsewhere...this is really bad..I think if he rather spends a lot of time with you, telling you what he is going through or just finds peace in your company, he'll do much better..