Why is my ex-boyfriend asking my friends how I am?

[Anonymous]

I recently broke up with my boyfriend due to him being stressed about university. Another stress on top of this was that I had to moved from my country to be with him after 5 months together. I moved to be with him at the end of September, when he had just started his university course! I don’t think he could cope me being there, because I needed his help to find a place to stay and to find a job and he just didn’t have the time In the end I think he just couldn’t cope with all the pressures. After one week of being there I left for England, where he sent me a text to finish the relationship (cowards way out!) He just mentioned the time not being ideal, and he didn’t want to make 2 lives miserable….etc

A few weeks later I sent him a message for his birthday. He replied asking if I was OK and he was sorry for his behavior towards me. I just replied no worries and that I was good.

A week later he has contacted my friend asking how I am. He mentioned to her he wanted to try and forget the time me and him spent together, but it was hard and that it was very hard for him to finish with me..etc...What do you think?

[CrystalMinds]

I think that he was kinda forced by himself to end things with you, because of external factors not because he stopped loving you or caring about you. He obviously still does. If you still love someone, it's kinda hard to break up with someone face to face so cut him some slack for doing it through text, you were in different countries anyway. Maybe when you left he was convinced he wanted to try it with you but just a bit slower but when you left, he realized he has to focus on his own life for now. He still cares about you, that's why he asked her how you are.

[Asker]

i just don't know what to do now? I want to try and at least talk to him...maybe just as friends to start off with.

[CrystalMinds]

If he still has feelings for you, being friends would be like having a dead dog in your house. You still care about it, but it hurts having it there. You could do that, but friendship between ex-lovers is hard, especially if one of them still has feelings for the other.

My ex and I wanted to "stay friends" as well, we talked once and never again after the break up, how good friends are we!

[Asker]

so I should just leave it. To be honest I just want him back! :(

[CrystalMinds]

I'm not saying that you should leave it or that you should stay friends, that's totally up to you. If you both think it could work, you could try it. It's your choice.

[Asker]

i just don't know how to begin to communicate with him again... I want to break down the wall you has put up

[CrystalMinds]

You can only know that by talking to him. See what he says he wants and respect his decision if he's not ready for friendship yet.