Should I give her the v-day gift even after rejection?

Question

We're both 18 in HS btw.

So I kinda jumped the gun and thought this girl was really into me and already did my v-day shopping for her. It was cute and cheap:

-a card with my thoughts about her in it

-a chocolate rose

- a Pokemon plushie(she's a pokemon fan)

-various flavors of those little Skittles bags that are like .89 cents at your convenience store(It's her FAVORITE candy, so yeah)

All put into a small cute gift bag

However though.. I got the just be friends speech when I asked her on a date for this weekend. Me and this girl have a major history, but to sum it up I've been persitent but laid back and not overbearing with her for the past 5 months and decided to try for one last time.

Now since this "one last time" was shot down I gave her a lengthy speech of why I honestly can't be her friend anymore because it's too hard and bla bla other cute things. I also told her if she'd ever change her mind the offer is still on the table, but I said that in a cool and confident way

Anyway since I knew we wouldn't talk again I sent her a pict of the goodie bag I made and she thought it was "literally the cutest thing anyone was gonna do for my honestly". I spent a lot of time and thought into making this for her. Should I still give it to her on v-day and leave it at that?

Select gender and age to cast your vote:

Updates

+1 y

Quick note: to all the people wondering why I sent her a pict of it:

I thought I'd never talk to her again since I was ending the friendship. So I confessed all my feelings and even sent her a pict of the gift as that's what I had planned, assuming I didn't get rejected.

Now she knows about the gift, and I also managed to tactfully restore our friendship. I'm def debating on either yes/no to give it to her :D

kheserthorpe · Accepted Answer

You might as well sell all your belongings and give her a cheque then lie crying in front of her house in the fetal position till she thinks you look masculine and sexy or die of starvation.

You probably never had a chance but everything you are doing is making it worse and worse.

Sending her the photo of the overdone gift bag when you're not even a couple screamed 'I'm so desperate for your approval I couldn't even wait to give you this thing I spent too much time on'.

She will never, ever want you.

Move on and establish attraction and passion next time before showing off how sweet and care taking you can be.

Don't spend 5 months before making a move.

Don't get emotionally caught up in relationships that are entirely in your head. If I flirted heavily with every woman in the place I buy coffee this morning I suspect I'd be further along with one or two of them then you ever were with this girl. Get it through your head. NOTHING was happening with her. Do NOT let yourself get caught up in these imaginary relationships.

A good sign a girl is into you is she sticks her hand down your pants. A milder sign is she initiates making out with you repeatedly. Very sexual flirting is an encouraging but not sure thing sign. Even if you were getting all those signs the super cute v-day gift would be inappropriate unless you were actually a couple.

kurozogo · Accepted Answer

Take the offer of the table and move on , eat your gift or just give it to a random friend so it does not go to waste and keep the parts that can't be eaten or give them too to a friend so he can give them to someone or something .

Sending her the pic was pointless , but then again its like letting her know one more thing she won't have from you , its not my style but I see a hint of sarcasm in it so good :P .

That's kind of what I would do , there is no need to do it .

Good luck , next time .

Darkfairie17 · Accepted Answer

I don't think you should give it to her. I mean you got the gift with the intention that she felt the same way. The gift sounds incredibly sweet and I'm sure there are many girls out there who would love to get a Valentine's gift as lovely as what you put together for her. But I just feel like you poured your heart into this gift and it just seems off giving it to her.

You did tell her that you could not be friends with her, but then you also seemed relieved that you restored the friendship? What is it? Do you want to still be friends with her, even though she won't date you? If you are only remaining friends with her to keep hope alive that she will give you a chance, I would just move on.

Really it's up to you whether you give her the gift or not. The important thing is that you don't place an expectation upon giving her the gift. She may accept it, and still reject you, and go on to date other guys.

She may also think about it and it might change her opinion of you. But I don't think it should take you getting her a gift to do that. In my opinion, if she really liked you, she would already know and would have taken up on your initial offer.

jolusephineci · Accepted Answer

I say go for it! You showed it to her, and what did she say? "Literally the cutest thing anyone was gonna do for me." Dude, that is a total invitation. You've already gotten her hopes up! You can't hurt her now, by tantalizing her with a Valentine's day gift, which won't be given to her! Besides, even if she gets mad at you, or something, there are plenty of other fish in the sea, and you sound like a great catch. What I wouldn't give to have a guy chasing after me like that. I think that you should go for it.

CrystalMinds · Accepted Answer

To be honest, I wouldn't give it. She made it clear you don't have a chance anymore with her. So if you'll give it, she'll be all: aww, how sweet, thank you!

And don't hear from it again.

I would rather eat the Skittles myself and the chocolate rose than give it to someone I don't have a chance with, they could see it as you trying AGAIN and to be honest, there aren't many more turn offs than someone who doesn't understand the word "no".

Titi18 · Answer

Just give it to her, its just a simple gift... I could relate to this,

This guy was chasing me for 2 years he would

Buy me gifts for v day and birthday, when he knew I just saw

Him as a friend, and nothing was going to happen between us.

But you know what he still went ahead and got me stuff, he never

Cared that we are just friend blah blah blah, and now guess what?

I want him more then just friends.

My point is just give her the little v day gift its not going to hurt

Or make you look stupid at all. Don't worry !

markml · Answer

My first thought was to reply NO...maybe even heck no...

Not unless she also gives you a V-Day gift. Otherwise, you really risk over-reaching.

But then, I read that you already told her about the gift... What the heck are you doing telling the girl you got her a gift weeks before Valentines Day anyway?

So if she already knows, you might as well give it to her.

It would still be better if you could somehow get her to also give you something. That way she can't possibly blame you for being nice to her.

Also, you probably need to change the card. No need to tell her how you feel anymore, because she already knows and actions speak louder than words. The fact that you're giving her this gift says enough.

goldgunsgirls · Answer

If you're gonna give it to her, give it for her sake, not for yours. Don't give it in the hopes that she might want to be more than friends with you because of it, give it because you want to do something nice for her because in the end, she's a nice person too. If you don't actually care that much about giving it to her, and would only do it because you want to be with her, don't give it to her.

FieryRedHeadGrl · Answer

If you sent her a picture of the gift and she thought it was cute, then you should still give it to her, just so she knows that you still care about her, even if she doesn't feel the same way (yet). Maybe the gift will make her think about it. And besides, you bought it for her, you should show her that you know her so well and that you thought about her.

COCOCHICKA · Answer

My advice - don't give her all of it. Maybe like the card and the plushie. All that stuff seems like you're really serious (like as a couple) and she might feel pressured and move away. I'm assuming you want her in your life so don't push her away by being too pushy.

You seem like a really sweet, and thoughtful guy - best of luck :)

CasaNorba · Answer

HELL NO BRO!

are you really that willing to make yourself feel more useless and pathetic? giving a chick who rejected you a give? why don't you just move on and find another one that really does deserve a give?

anyways, a chick who rejects you should never get any types of gives from you

lilstrwberygal · Answer

I don't think there is any harm in giving it to her. I don't think there is any good in giving it to her either. So I guess what I'm saying is that it doesn't matter. If you want her to have it, give it to her but know it's most likely not going to change things between you and if you think it might you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

Anonymous · Answer

She thinks it's a really cute gift, so give it to her. MAYBE that will change her mind and make her want to go out with you, because she'll have realized how thoughtful you are and how much you care about her and how much you know about the things she likes.

blackrose21 · Answer

yeah give it to her duh- you already showed her a picture of it, it would just be mean to not give it to her now- just don't get your hopes up

KLMT4 · Answer

Well if you're set on getting together with her give it to her for valentines, but if you're sure you wanna move on or she won't change her mind then throw it away. Don't keep dragging yourselves back to her when she's shot you down so much...

Popnlock · Answer

yea just do it but don't expect her feelings in return or any kind of love!

don't get your hopes up.

Good Luck!

P.S. you shouldn't show a woman Valentine's gift ahead of time that's kinda tacky. you ruin the surprise and woman love surprises.

realitycheck123 · Answer

You already took the picture of it, so you might as well give it to her now, you shouldn't have let her know period. If she gave you the friends speech she will not want to date you for a few years if ever, until she sees you in a different light and beyond her reach. You could always text her back and say "oh no that wasn't for you, just wanted to see if so an so would like it, yall are a lot alike. Thanks! "

Pakinam · Answer

well if you're up to take your chances one more time just give it to her..this act of giving anything even if it was a piece of paper or a nice compliment would turn the whole situation 180 .

So yeah,give it a shot,it's a sweet thing that you will never regret doing =)

randomhobo · Answer

I would keep it if I were you. There doesn't seem like much of a point in giving it to her now that you know for sure you won't go out with her.

harveykinkle · Answer

I wouldn't want it.  You giving me that would make me feel as though you weren't respecting my decision not to date you...

Anonymous · Answer

Give it to her. You still like her either way. Just because she doesn't feel the same way back you can still express yourself. Tell her its you trying to give her you feelings before you try giving up on the idea.

anonymous0418 · Answer

Give it to her, but don't have any hopes for what it could/might do.

Anonymous · Answer

ummm how about saving it for her birthday? and leave out the rose and card.

Anonymous · Answer

No. Have some dignity and pride! She doesn't want you. Don't let her play you

nancyjune561 · Answer

you should give her because you have bought it for her.

Should I give her the v-day gift even after rejection?

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