How comes guys are not into me?

[Anonymous]

I'm 23 and never even kissed a guy. I've tried working on myself I'm only like 20 lbs overweight but that's it, based on my frame it only looks like I'm "a little above average" according to a guy friend.

I was really shy when it came to making guy friends and talking to guys in general even in university. Now that I've graduated I don't feel shy around guys (can approach them and become friends with them). However, I feel like guys I find attractive I can't seem to be myself around them. I end up doing or saying something stupid.

The only dates I've been are from online dating. All four were first dates and never heard from the guys again. Some of them were real jerks on the date and acted like they really wanted to leave. However, I've been rejected by countless guys I've messaged online, like they'll start talking and then disappear (after seeing more pics) or even after seeing pics and texting for a few days they disappear and tell me their "busy" "seeing someone" when its not true.

I don't think its my appearance that much that is the problem, or is it? I'm like a 6 in terms of my face. I don't know if its because I appear pretty in pics and then guys saw me in real life and were like "woah no thanks". I straighten/curl my hair went I'm out, always put on medium amount of make up etc. and I'm working out to lose the weight for health reasons (its taking a long time to come off). So I'm putting in as much effort as I possibly can there.

People keep saying, "the right guy will find you" etc. But if I put in NO EFFORT at all then what will happen? Nothing.

I try subtle in approaching guys when I'm in a club or bar and they reject me. For example if I try to talk to a guy casually at one of those places he won't really reciprocate or carry on the convo=rejection right?. And I know this guy is single because I've seen him around the venue dancing/chatting up other chicks.

Is any other GIRL in the same situation?

Will a guy find it super weird and not date me for the fact I'm SO inexperienced? If I ever find a guy will he be putt off by the fact I can't kiss or anything, even if I lie to him and say I've been in a relationship before?

As the new year approaches I'm just confused.

[quovadis911]

Find a group of girls that get laid a lot and hangout with them. Ask them to mentor you, teach you how to get guys, no other method will help more.

Men think with their dicks. Loose so much weight you become a size 3 or less, get your hair done at a quality salon, and take lessons on how to use makeup, makeup when applied properly works wonders.

Most importantly, don't give up, and keep improving your appearance and seduction skills each week.

But getting girl friends that get guys, and having them help you is the best way.

[Asker]

Well I have friends (not close friends or anything) that are "man-whoring" like that lol I know of a girl that basically gave her co-worker who is engaged a HJ at work and they work at a bank. Lol Funny thing is a few friends of mine that have not met her and one guy who has think she is so ugly and how is that possible she's always getting laid. I think by observing her I've noticed, she's constantly flirting and doesn't care about being the other woman.

[Asker]

Another friend can literally go to bar and end up making out with a guy (most likely). She actually made out with a guy at the table in the bar area at a restaurant while me and another guy were sitting there. She also made out with the other guy on different occasion. I'm closer with this girl lol I don't know how to ask them to "teach me" how to do that. I feel like I put myself out there by making casual conversation in bar setting and such and guys don't respond so I leave it alone.

[Asker]

As for the under size 3 thing, I don't think that's actually possible for my frame lol. I am right now a size 12 but even sales ladies and friends are shocked I'm that size, I look like a size 8. I figure if I become a size 8 I'll look a size 4 lol. As being that skinny I don't want to be like a size 0 I want to have curves personally. I don't get how guys are attracted to size 0's, no offense.

[quovadis911]

Don't be shy to ask your friends, they will be flattered, and just ask them the same way you asked us. I don't like women without curves either, but being a size five would be good for you in terms of getting guys. Once you start getting guys it will be a skill you will have the rest of your life.

[Jsonason]

Not a turn off or on for me anyway, just something you'd have to adapt to. I can't see your previous experience of lack thereof being a factor when it comes to me liking you or not.

As for clubs and bars, I know I'm completely oblivious to flirting. A beer or two and I just can't see it unless you're really in my face, to my girlfriends great displeasure. You can't be too frank, believe me.

[Asker]

Really, can I tell what what "techniques" I've used. If I can message you?

[Hamburgers]

The weight isn't a turn-off. It could work in your favor as you could be curvy.

Attractiveness matters most to men, that much is true.

However, I sense that you are making attempts with men that are out of your league. You shouldn't be having this much trouble dating.

[Asker]

Hmm yeah I thought the league thing too. But seriously my requirement is just taller than me, I don't even like super tall guys or anything. A guy 5 feet 9 to 5 feet 11 is ideal for me, facially a little above average with a nice smile and outgoing. I don't like shy guys, I get so bored.

[Hamburgers]

I don't know how you look, so I'm not sure if that's asking too much. Which it could or could not be, as that is the standard for most women, those guys could get a better deal.

[Asker]

I've tried lowering them though lol So I went out with a guy that was barely my height, not really ambitious, and I was bored when I talked to him. Keep in mind this is with a guy I met online. I knew he was interested in the beginning of the date, because he asked me if I wanted to take a walk after we had coffee. I told him "well I don't know its raining" lol. At the end of the date, their was no hug or anything he just said "see your around".

[Asker]

there** you** sorry typos lol

[Hamburgers]

It just might be that you aren't attracted to men that are in your league. Which is common, and what happens is in their mid to late 20s the male or female decides to settle for it. Or improve themselves to attain a partner they actually are attracted to.

[Asker]

Well I'm trying to loose 20 to 25 lbs, just to be healthy. However, would that improve my odds much?:S Its not like I'm super obese.

Like can you give me your opinion. We were at a club (older crowd mid twenties) last week.

There were 3 girls and 3 guys in the group. 2 guys left to get drinks. One guy was left standing beside me and another girl and there was another girl in the circle beside the girl named Britney. This random cute guy came outta no where bumped into me and smiled

[Asker]

(at least I think he did or that's just his face) at me. And I was shocked because he literally slammed into me but not super hard. I had a wtf look on my face probably. And then he turns to Britney and starts hitting on her and Britney is skinny but facially not as pretty as me. I know it sounds bad to say but just saying it. And then she turned the guy down and he said something to the other girl in the group but made no effort to talk to. I would have actually given this guy a chance, but ye.

[Hamburgers]

Hm, one thing that alarms me is that he takes a swing at your two friends in front of you, and you'd still give him a chance. Was that the case? If so, I'll be frank, because I feel you can actually take something from this exchange. That gives me the implication that you may be desperate, desperation reeks, and can be smelled from a mile away. This could be one thing that inhibits your success.

Lol, Don't worry. I'm not sensitive like some people. If you know your face is sexier than your

[Hamburgers]

friends just say it. Doesn't bother me, at all.

Losing weight most of the time will help your chances, depending on where you're starting from, and how your weight is distributed. Difficult to say via text.

[Asker]

I mean if he hadn't talked to both of my friends, obviously would not give him a chance after lol The second girl he didn't hit on her or anything I think he just asked her one question, maybe because she was wearing a mini birthday sash or something, or just said happy birthday:S.

[Asker]

I don't excude desperation I think. I don't like go with any guy that grabs me at a bar, I have to be attracted to them. One guy I was attracted to at a club (different time) he kept grinding with me and then at the same time touching a random girl around me. The random girl, tapped me and told me what was happening, and I should tell my boyfriend to stop touching her. I told her I didn't know him and I ditched him.

[Asker]

I don't know my weight it distributed pretty well as people have told me I'm very proporiate. Most of my weight goes to my boobs (I'm 36 DD) and my hips and a little bit on my butt.

[1stPlace]

League? Meh. Either the person reciprocates your interest and attraction, or they don't.

[Hamburgers]

1stPlace: You can sell yourself that. But nature isn't that nice.

QA: Lol That's an interesting story. For him it was fun while it lasted, I suppose. That sounds pretty good, guys should like that. How tall are you? You could PM a pic if you'd like, if not no biggy.

[Tractorbeam]

This might help.There's more if you need it. link

[Anonymous]

i'm 25 and still haven't dated either