Why do I always want affection from older men?

[Anonymous]

I have this emotional need...I love attention from older men. I crave emotional attention, and affection from them. Many times they are old enough to be my dad. At places like work and school I tend to make friends with men who could be my dad and I just enjoy getting their attention. Some are definitely trying to hit on me though, and I don't want to have an affair with a man old enough to be my dad, but I just enjoy being noticed by them and feeling liked by them.

I also like to date older men much more, and I am generally ONLY attracted to men at least 8 years my senior or more. Consistently. Sometimes much more than 8 years my senior.

I also always feel a lack of emotional support and affection from my own dad, is there a link between the two?

[thetundrawolf]

Perhaps your soul longs for the maturity in an older man that is completely void in your generation. I see it clear as day, people in your age group, especially males, for the most part, just want to have sex. "Why doesn't she kiss on the third date?" Was one question I read here. Well maybe she's not ready to go even that far?

I personally believe time should be invested to get to know a woman, to find out what makes her heart glow. To learn the intricacies of her soul. Commit yourself to her, and nobody else. And, when the time is right, to marry her, and give her the security of a loving home. A kind, protective husband and mate who loves his wife dearly.

How many younger people want that? Not very many. They settle for a quickie, what's easiest. "Man, she won't put out after two dates!" That kinda guy isn't interested in knowing the first thing about your heart.

And I am not saying all older guys realize this, now. That the secret to a lasting relationship with a woman is to get to know her heart. It's simply not true. There are a lot of older scumbags out there.

But very little can replace all the crap these older men have gone through. All the heartache, the learning. The strength that experience, and pain builds for them. Young people generally just do not have it.

But a word of warning to you, too, older men are more set in their ways. Do not ever try to change him. If you want that maturity and wisdom, you may sacrifice youthfulness. He might not be as willing to just up and go to a movie. He is going to take things slower, more deliberate. And he has to put up with people scoffing at him because his woman is much younger than he is.

But it is my opinion that you see no value in foolish youthful lusts and pursuit. You are afraid it will leave you broken- hearted, because it most definitely will.

My advice is to wait. Do not let these older men take advantage of your desire to be around them. It may be a long, painful wait, but there is a man out there who is younger, but has suffered a great deal, and gained the knowledge and wisdom your soul is desperate for.

[Theguyoverthere]

You have daddy issues. Be very careful because you're gonna get yourself into some really shady stuff if you keep this going too far. You will most likely have problems with each of these guys you crave attention from. Many will try to screw you. Older men deliberately target younger women for sex and go to bars trying to get them drunk to take advantage of them.

[Asker]

yeah, I totally know the risks and I am a rational person so I don't get myself in messes, but I constantly crave older men emotionally.

[Anonymous]

I think there is link between the two. My biological dad was an alcoholic who left me when I was 7, although, aside from his drinking he was a very kind man and I loved him very much. I know he loved me too but was weak and couldn't deal with his alcoholism so he left..

My step dad hates my guts..

I love making friends with older men too, I relate well to them and usually they are NOT trying to hit on you as much as younger guys.

[Bluemax]

You probably crave attention because things weren't so good with your own father. If you're not interested in being in a relationship with an older man, it's probably unwise to attract their attention.

[Prof_Don]

Imo there definitely is a correlation! At least you know where the source of your behavior is.

Just make sure you don't lead these men on if you don't want anything beyond friendship!

[Dionysos]

I think there's definitely a link. Dirty old men everywhere just got a bit of a chubby from this post. Careful! ;-)

[palek]

It all seems perfectly reasonable to me.

[parkway]

You desire security that comes with maturity.

[BayHarborButcher]

Yes, there can be a link between the two.

[Guy_No1974]

I think there may be a link, but also it might have nothing to do with it. You might just prefer older men , these is nothing wrong with it.

[PANDAmonium]

sounds like daddy issues