How To Cook For A Girl

[ChgzDaniel]

Sausage, eggs and a fried slice is great served up in a greasy spoon cafe for a bunch of taxi drivers, but is no meal to present a girl you are trying to impress. Ladies Like fuss, frills and that kind of stuff, so what you need is some fancy concoction that looks like it requires much more skill than it did, and cost a lot more than it did. Here is a recipe that should fit the bill. Some may object that spaghetti, like corn on the cob, is messy to handle. However, this actually puts you in a subtle position of power and gives you a great excuse for getting up close to the lady. So, be ready to leap in with the old napkin.

Pasta Rapida Con Crema, Basilico, Aglio, E Pancetta Affumicata

Ingredients

* A packet of fresh spaghetti

* 1/2 pint single cream

* Some streaky bacon (smoked)

* 2 cloves garlic

* Some fresh basil leaves

* Olive oil

* Proper butter

* Salt

* Freshly ground black pepper

Any of these items that you can't filch can be got at the supermarket.

Method

1. Put a large pan of water on to boil and warm a serving dish and two plates in the oven.

2. While it's all heating up, chop four rashers of bacon and fry them briefly in 1/2 teaspoon olive oil, stirring frequently.

3. Bring down the heat and add a knob of butter and two cloves of crushed garlic. The best way to crush garlic is to put the unpeeled clove under a broad-bladed knife and smash it with your closed fist. The skin then comes off effortlessly. Warning: garlic and butter both burn easily, so cook them slowly over a low heat.

4. Once the garlic has softened stir in a tablespoonful of olive oil and pour in the cream. Season to taste.

5. Keeping the heat low, stir it around briskly until hot, then cover with a lid.

6. Tip the pasta into the boiling water. Follow the instructions on the packet religiously. Fresh spaghetti cooks fast so you must stand there and watch it. Chop the basil while you do.

7. As soon as the spag is cooked, strain it and tip into the serving bowl. Do this carefully because fresh spaghetti is more fragile than dried. Pour the creamy, bacony, garlicky gumbo on top and sprinkle with the chopped basil. Try to make it look pretty, for goodness' sake. The garlic, smoked bacon and basil produce a delicious aroma, and the cream, bacon fat, oil, and butter make the meal delicious, as well as filling. Serve at once on hot plates.

For an economical starter, try a can of consomme and pretend you made it yourself. If you are totally skint, two stock cubes with boiling water in a nice bowl make a delicious light soup. Do it in secret obviously. Properly presented, this works like a dream. If you can run to three drops of Scotch, you'll turn it into a feast. For pudding, a fudgy chocolate bar melted all over some cheap ice cream looks and smells magnificent. Pretend the recipe is an old family secret.

A flower in a tumbler (Snitched from the park or someone's garden) lends a suggestion of class to a bloke's table. Add a candle - not a knobbly one in a tobacco tin all covered in black finger prints: a nice one. Tea lights will do - ladies like them.

Et voila!

~ The correct singular form of 'candelabra' is 'candelabrum'. ~

[NJ_Casanova]

I disagree with the first line.

I never meet a girl that didn't like me making her breakfast in bed the next morning.

You find out what she likes through conversations and dinner's out. If she brings up a meal, like one that reminds her of when she was young that she hasn't had in a while. (someone-her grandma for example). That's always a Good bet.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Honestly, I don't care for fuss and frills that much, not that it's not good but it's not necessary to over do it. I'll eat at a fancy restaurant once in a blue moon but I'd be just as impressed if a guy grilled me a burger than if he made me some fancy pasta dish. But that's just me perhaps.

[MrOracle]

Girl, if you are ever single, I'm going to invade Canada and steal you. I'm just saying. LOL.

[DarthLadyKiller]

@ChgzDaniel, what do you think of this one?

Spaghetti con crema piccante di granchi
Fry up an onion in butter and leave to the side. Mix 4 eggs, 4 spoons of parmesan, and 1 cup of double cream, maybe 1 and a half together. Add plenty of salt and pepper. Stir in 130g brown and white crab meat from a tin until the mixture is a light tan colour. Cook spaghetti and immediately tip the crab mixture in and stir. Let sit for a while on the just turned off warm stove.

Stir fry up 3 onions in butter and stir in some brown sugar, garlic, Worcester sauce, and parsley. Add beef stock and simmer. You now have French Onion soup which can be served with a slice of bread grilled with parsley and garlic mixed into some butter. Great starter.

For dessert, get a cup of raspberries and heat up on the stove until the juice is running out and it is getting liquidy. Add 1/2 cup sugar and stir until bubbling. Sieve and serve over chocolate or vanilla ice cream.

That is what I would make my girl. :)

[ChgzDaniel]

I'm not a sweet tooth at all so the thought of 1/2 a cup of sugar makes me cringe, but apart from that, it sounds pretty good. I'd try it!

[DarthLadyKiller]

actually, if you just drizzle a bit on top that is not very much at all. I have a family of 5 and am their personal chef so i am programmed to make in bulk, lol. I loved your take on impressing a girl on a budget, that was very amusing. What part of the UK are you from?

[ChgzDaniel]

Huddersfield, but I have lived all over the place. Yorkshire is where my heart belongs. Yourself?

[DarthLadyKiller]

Just south of Bath.

[ChgzDaniel]

Well, at least you might smell nice.

[DarthLadyKiller]

LOL, haha, true. At least if I am going to live in the countryside, I am not going to smell of livestock. :P

[demonics]

Having cooked for a number of women of all ages... under 30 she's going to hate everything you cook or not 'get it' because she's used to eating garbage. Over 50 she's going to have everything you cook. There's a sweet spot in there somewhere that can be divided into two groups: OM NOM OMG FUCKING AMAZING! and "I'll just have a salad."

*Lets make some proper chicken stock kids, if you don't have room for gallons of it reduce it down to cups, and freeze them in individual portions, then reconstitute them with water. Bouillon cubes are for poor people.

*English food is garbage, import more French people. (At least you have all those Indians)

[ATuairiscean]

Nice take - A lot of girls would mainly appreciate the fact a guy went to the trouble of cooking for them - You probably subconsciously to cook differently for male friends than female friends or girlfriends with probably emphasis on more lightness and presentation plus a sweet dessert. Your recipe looks good, I must try it.

[Cosytoasty]

My missus is Irish, she would love sausage egg and fried slice as much as confit de canard!

Good take, decent basic recipie for guys to start off with. I would use actual pancetta instead of bacon though and take the pasta out at least a minute before the package says to get it al dente.

[samhradh_leannan]

I'm put off by the amount of deception that you're encouraging here. Bouillon cubes and even canned consomme won't pass for homemade, the flavor is totally different. This is not something you will get away with if your guest is familiar with homemade broth. And if you're going to pretend that melted chocolate on ice cream is an old family recipe, be prepared to get asked what the secret ingredient is.

[demonics]

ITS VEGETABLE OIL lol!

[samhradh_leannan]

Lol!

[ChgzDaniel]

I think you missed the point a little bit. This is not meant to be taken seriously.

[samhradh_leannan]

Huh. Okay.

[apple24]

Just buy me five guys and pink starburst. Follow up with a one pint of Ben and jerry cookies and cream with hot fudge! Giant soda and lol you have the perfect recipe for love! Lol

[apple24]

Gosh I just read that back and sounds like my first date. Lol oh that remind me of a question...

[ChgzDaniel]

That actually sounds pretty good!

[Barrabus_the_Free]

Cooking for a woman is one of those things I no longer do. They're unappreciative, so why bother?

[ChgzDaniel]

I hate that I actually agree with you, women don't know how to appreciate anything these days. I know because I am one of them.

[Barrabus_the_Free]

Your honesty is both refreshing and appreciated.

[Z-Spark]

I will cook for women only if :
1- part of my core family, or my long term, serious girlfriend (wife)
2- she is sick or very tired and can't cook
3- i feel like spoiling her and preparing something nice once in a while
4- special night and trying to get laid.

If you think i, as a guy will cook for you few times a week and act like a housewive then you're not the woman for me and iam not the man for you, any woman who thinks i will cook on the regular should just move on cause iam not the man she is looking for.

[Elliegirl]

I don't need fancy. I just want it to be good. Even if it's not great, putting in the effort means a lot to me. Like, I'm totally good with a guy grilling a steak and pairing it with a good wine. Put in the effort, make something really good, or at least try your best, and you can have me for dessert!

[sonuraan2010]

Appreciate

[KaseyRouqe]

I'd actually appreciate it if they would ask me what I like. Also just notice what they order when you go out to get an idea of what they want. That pasta and the dessert is just too many calories. There are many delicious foods that are more healthy. I would eat that to be polite but I'd probably feel guilty and work out an extra hour.

[OhMyLeniency]

NAH. just open a pack of dinosaur nuggets, u win my heart boo.

[ChgzDaniel]

This is the best comment ever.

[Prof_Don]

I love how you said "proper butter".

That margarine, "butter spread" stuff may LOOK like butter, but doesn't taste anywhere near like the real thing. :-P

[TheLuckyPizzaDog]

Bruh... thays just... carbonara. Lol. And two bouillon in water? I think id like him more if he just let me do all the cooking...😂

What's the fried slice tho? Bread?

[ChgzDaniel]

Yes, it's a common tradition to have a slice of bread with your fry up. It's always the last thing to go in, as you want it to soak up all the flavour from what ever it is you fry.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@ChgzDaniel what is fry up

[burpzzzzz]

Many men can cook better than women. Both of my brother in laws can cook better than my sisters, which is sad when one of them are a house wife.

[steveguitar]

If I'm cooking the better be happy with whatever, lol

[Anonymous]

What does it mean if I clicked on this thinking the title was "how to cook a girl"?

[ChgzDaniel]

Congrats, you have dyslexia!

[Opinion Owner]

You thank.

[JimRSmith]

My gal cooks most of the time, but we alternate on Saturdays.

She's pretty damned good, and is getting better all the time, but I still think I have the edge.

[sedrftvgyhujik]

so basicly spagbol.
I tend to be a bit more of a hesten in the kitchen
not always universally popular combinations though

[Phoenix98]

Nah all you need is chocolate or something sweet ( kidding )

Really anything Italian will do.

[Nice222]

I cook for my wife everyday in fact I make most of her meals.

[ChgzDaniel]

Lucky lady! :D