Guys Need To Realize That Girls Don't Want Chivalry or "Nice Guys"

Don't be a nice guy - be a Draco
Don't be a nice guy - be a Draco

Chivalry Is Offensive

Girls don't need you to pay the bill for them - the Modern Woman works and earns her own meals. Girls know this and get offended when guys insist on paying the full bill. Split the bill on dates - Chivalry is useless. The same goes for treating girls like "ladies" or holding doors open and all of that bullshit. That stuff is dead and guess what? Shocker - women don't want that shit back. Girls want to be treated equally and be treated like humans and humans are dirty and immoral. So stop treating girls as "special" and treat them as EQUALS...because that's what girls want! Chivalry is disrespectful to women, whether you wanna believe it or not. Make a girl laugh or make her wet....don't treat her like a Goddess. That's what will get her to like you.

Girls Aren't That relationship Orientated

Many guys think that if they act like "good boyfriend material" then girls will wanna date them. This isn't true. Most young women don't want serious relationships. They're too busy working, or with school or maybe they're just not bothered with guys all that much. Most young women want lots of sex but they want it with "no string attached". Girls want hookups...one night stands...fuckbuddies....and FWBs. Alright guys - get that into your heads! You need to be attractive, confident, unattached and very sexual - because that's what young women want! Don't be a "boyfriend" material guy because 90% of girls under the age of 30 won't appreciate it and think you're boring.

Don't Treat A Girl Too Good

It's easy to get caught up in a girl you're texting or seeing. Guys are humans and we catch feelings. The thing is - you're most likely gonna get hurt. Girls always have dozens of guys trying to get with them. Girls don't just text one guy - they text 6 or 7. SO for guys, the "girl we are texting" isn't "our girl" or anything like that. You're just "one" of the guys she's texting. So stop putting all you're effort and energy into one girl - she certainly isn't doing the same for you.

It's a woman's World now...especially when it comes to dating. Guys need to adapt to this and accept that they're gonna get hurt and girls are hard to please. I hope this Take will help out some guys who are struggling in the dating scene.

Thanks for reading.


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Most Helpful Girls

  • you really start to bullshit everybody with your silly questions and statements

    You really have an issue with girls. Please do yourself a favor and stop this crap!

    Not one day without you having to make such statements. It goes on my nerves slowly!

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  • Guys... treat your girl good. Be chivalrous. Take care of her. But don't go around doing it to random girls or your female friends and co-workers. Stuff like that is great if you're in a relationship but when some random guy starts being overly nice to you it sends off a lot of red flags.

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    • YES! Well said.

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    • And yeah if you want more than sex from girls you’re gonna get friend zoned.

    • Perfectly said

Most Helpful Guys

  • First of all
    I don't agree with you in most of this take, i know where this is coming from, but we are not animals.
    Second :Chivlary is for all, not just women this is the right idea, if you want to be an A hole that's up to you only, I won't treat anyone in a bad way, and yes I will treat women as ladies.
    Third : if your goal when texting or seeing a female is to score then you are right and shallow, but I am not that kind of guy who wants to have sex with any moving object.
    Fourth : I don't care if I was one of the guys, if she is my friend then that won't matter, but if she is my girlfriend, then I would dump her because as she number one for me I should be the same.
    Thanks for sharing I understand your views and you have some good points but I would never accept it

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    • First of all most people act like animals.

      Secondly treat women good only ends up getting you hurt.

      Thirdly, all I’m saying is every girl is hooking up with and texting multiple guys... guys need to realize that they aren’t special.

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    • Both girls and guys do what they want at a young age. Young guys are not looking to settle down and impregnate their 23 year old girlfriend. So... on a basic level, you can talk as much shit about guys as you do girls. You wanna get upset and cynical when young people do young people things? And not every young person is the same anyway. Which is why some people are more mature than others. And not everyone wants the same thing out of life. So you have no license to judge others just because you choose to live life a different way.

    • @Ellie-V indeed 👍👍

  • Ok I'm just gonna leave this here.

    Men do not need to adjust themselves to be with a woman if they do not want to. If the goal is to be with a specific type of woman, then change your goal.

    Women who like you don't have expectations of anything but who you are, and what you mean to them, and what they mean to you. Value in them in return of their value of you is the only way of truly being able to live without insecurity and the need to adapt.

    If you are so unlikable and inexperienced to believe that you need some sort of strategy to make women like you, you've already lost in life.

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What Girls Said 68

  • I don't really think you can speak for all women out there. What we want varies, and I do want a genuinely nice guy.

    How's being polite offensive? I hold the door open for anyone, man or woman, and it's nice when others do the same. It's not really special treatment, it's just basic politeness.

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  • You don't really speak for woman and I know I'll probably get some dislikes and incels trying to fight with me for saying this but there's a big difference between a "nice guy" and a "chivalrous guy".

    Nice guys are not really that nice. They assume just because their being nice, girls should be chasing them when really people should just be nice to people in general not just to try and impress a girl in hopes of getting sex. Girls don't like suck ups they can see through it and just see guys like that as fuck boys or creeps.

    Chivalrous guys are chivalrous towards everyone around them and don't expect anything from it. They see it as their duty to treat people well and are respectful towards everyone including themselves their still honest and open with us. Chivalrous guys are aways going out there way to be a gentleman and are just a lot more genuine all around compared to a "nice guy".

    I myself have always preferred chivalrous guys it's usually the frist thing that attracts me to them if I notice he's a respectful, kind, polite gentleman I can see them as someone I could share my life with. Its a massive turn off when guys are rude towards me, makes me hate them and want nothing to them and usually if you go by the "treat them mean keep the keen" approach you'll probably get a slap in the face or attract a girl with low self esteem or a girl who's just as bad as you when it comes to being mean.

    Also being a bitter incle who constantly complains about women being evil and putting us all in one box because you can't get any is a massive turn off and will just cause a endless cycle of rejection, loneliness and women hating.

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  • It depends on the girl. Some girls *are* complete cunts who hate nice guys and want to be with someone who's an even bigger piece of shit than they are. Other girls want respectful, fun, kind men. But don't kid yourself into thinking girls are all one way or the other. There are girls who would laugh if they saw you burning to death. So you are partially right, but wrong in the blanket nature of your statement.

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  • Now, I don't claim to speak for all women when I say this, but I do think that a lot of women would agree with me. I don't give a shit if a guy wants to open the door for me or hold a door for me, it's helpful and I do the same thing for other people because it's a polite thing to do.

    I don't want a guy to pay for everything, not because I have my own money, but because I don't want him to think that I owe him something. You have no clue how many times I've heard things like, "Well I was a nice guy, paying for dinner and a movie so now you should have sex with me because I was nice."

    Not all women want hookups. The real thing is not wanting to tie yourself down to someone if you don't know for if you actually like them. Like if you went on a date with a girl once, would you keep going out with her even if you didn't really enjoy the first date all that much?

    To the last point, not all women text a ton of guys who are trying to fuck them. Have you ever considered that maybe a girl just has friends and because you want to fuck her you assume that every other guy wants to too.

    Maybe you've thought about everything I just said and only wrote this to get a rise out of people and get attention, I don't know, but great job

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  • Wow, who hurt you bro lol?

    This entire article couldn't be any more wrong. I'm going to assume you only go after are the sleazy girls then if you think all they want is hookups?
    It is true a lot of girls have a lot of guys in their inboxes. We drink wine and laugh because Tim was in everyone's inbox so far this week. Guys aren't picky and will take shots at all of our friends. Its honestly entertaining to watch this go down in real time.
    You're never too busy to spend time with your significant other. My boyfriend and I both go to college full time and work. At the end of the day, he's the only one I want and care about. Your significant other should be your peace, not your hell.
    Lastly, chivalry isn't dead. It's part of being raised properly. No, I don't expect him to pay for our food but if he brushes snow off my car or runs to the store to get me medicine, stuff like that, isn't necessarily good guy qualities. Yes he makes a point to take care of me, but I would absolutely do the same for him. It's just called being a decent human being without expecting anything from it.

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  • Can't take a guy named Draco Malfoy seriously.

    Maybe I'd consider if your name was Ron Weasley

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  • Chivalry isn’t offensive—it’s just dumb. Just because you have a penis doesn’t mean you have to always go out of way to do unnecessary bullshit. If you walk through the door, don’t be an asshole and let it close on me obviously. Like I’d do for you—or anyone really. That’s not chivalry. That’s just being mildy considerate. Strangers do it for each other all the time, but they don’t call it chivalry.

    SOME girls aren’t relationship oriented—the sex crazy party girls you are describing... yeah, those kinds of girls Exist but plenty of other girls are not that. And everyone is different. Me, I don’t care for relationships but does that mean I’m automatically a hoe being passed around? No... I don’t even have time for sex 😂 and I don’t lead people on (intentionally). But trust me, plenty of girls on my campus can’t wait to start popping out babies for their man. I’m just not one of them.

    Treating girls good?— umm... don’t generalize please. And the main thing you left out is communication... like REAL talking. Girl or guy, you should only give what you get. And if you don’t think the person isn’t putting in as much effort as you, you TALK to them. Rationalize. Come to an agreement or understanding. Don’t just step out and entertain a billion people just because you have made up your own assumptions.

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  • I think people should focus on respecting each other and learning what their partner likes/ doesn’t like

    Platitudes are unhelpful - whether pro or anti chivalry, it doesn’t mean much bc everyone has their own unique approach to life and relationships. One size does not fit all.

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  • Guys Need To Realize That Girls Don't Want Chivalry or "Nice Guys"

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  • I can´t speak for other girls, but I do love chivalrous guys. While I don´t need anyone to pay my way, it´s still nice to be treated to dinner or get occasional gifts just because they like me so much. While I won´t be looking to marry for a long time, I´m still dating only one guy at a time. I´m not being intimate with multiple partners at the same time. Guys should definitely keep putting some effort in, because even if busy working or studying, I´d still want that special someone around.

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    • Most girls just want a hot guys (usually three or four) to have sex with... that’s pretty much it.

  • Are you a woman? No? Then why are you talking about what we want with such authority? Take multiple seats

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  • I get the feel that youve been looking in the wrong place for girlfriends and wrote this after getting rejected🤔 personally I dont mind a little chivalry, I doubt that its offensive and most girls I know dont have that many guys on them and they definetly do not care that much about sex

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  • Can people like you that aren't even females themselves stop telling what we like and what we don't?

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  • A man claiming to know what women want... how cute.

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    • To be fair, women don't know what women want either.

      "We want dominant men to decide things for us"

    • Nobody knows what a WHOLE demographic wants, because they never want the same thing

  • This is some ridiculous feminist shit. A guy shouldn't be expected to pay for a date etc and neither should women. However everyone wants to date someone who isn't just all about money or worse– stingy about it. Being nice should be a core value all people should have girl or boy. Girls dont like "chivalry." Girls like kindness– and so do guys.

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  • Please don't speak for my gender again... just.. don't. Speak for yourself by all means but don't tell men that this is what women want. This is what you want.

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  • I call bullshit , it's not like everyone want the same but i think it's largely the other way around

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    • As in women, for the most part, want chivalrous men but men don't want to be chivalrous? I could definitely see that being the case.

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    • @HouDeany no I don't think so most want a relationship and more then sex in the end we all do , but sex is way easier to get and building a relationship takes work... I don't think it's lying about what you want it's taking the easy road

    • Most don't.. when a girl just wants sex it's mostly due to not seeing the guy as relationship material... It's that easy in the end she want a guy to have a good relationship with way more then a few times sex with some douchebag guy who uses her for sex

  • nice guys though -- they bore me

    I like the type of guy who will even treat 80 year old woman like woman and not like a "grandma" -- I think that sort of behavior is a real man's behavior, they never forget what they are, and that just radiates with pure eroticism and it's soooo delicious.

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  • I like the idea of paying my own way but I have to disagree with pretty much everything else. Obviously there's going to be every kind of person, so there's definitely women who feel like this but I *like* being treated like a lady, I *like* a guy opening the door or being polite. Maybe it's a personality type thing I don't know.

    But I've never been the type that would sleep around either, or chase 'bad guys' aka 'selfish morons'. But I guess just know both types are out there. Some like it, some don't. Just know guys we're not all the same.

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  • Tsk tsk, Draco. How do you expect to meet a nice lady with views like this?

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  • Oh Cry me a River

    Yes girls want that and whoever thinks that knows nothing about real women with self-respect.

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  • You've certainly got your wires crossed that for sure.

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  • Of course this is written by a male. Why is it so weird to think that women are different from each other? But wait if you generalize males like this, men would be tripping over each other to say, "not all males."

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  • I'll offer to pay, but if you don't let me, you'll be gold in my eyes and I'll pay the next or will find a way to compensate it to you (maybe I'll buy you a nice present later).

    If you treat me good, text me and tell me sweet things, I might just fall for you. You showing is a turn-on, so your post is really out of place.

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  • Can you please not spread this stuff? You're ruining it for all the other girls out here.

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  • Nahhh. I'd love a guy to treat me well and i an relationship oriented

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  • Whoa. You couldn't be more wrong if you tried to be.

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  • I completely disagree. I stay way away from anyone who isn't like this.

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  • damn, this is SO INACCURATE

    these describe almost everybody's dream boyfriend

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  • Yup. Disagree with you completely.

    1. I like it when a man offers; I’ll always argue to split but if not next is on me. It shows he likes me.

    2. I’ve had two relationships. Both around 5 years long. Yup, totally not relationship orientated.

    3. I’m so sorry you “catch” feelings but some of us filter the twats and only keep the good ones so we don’t have dozens on the go.

    Perhaps, tone down the twattishness and you might find a girl you’re looking for. However I think you think you”ve “got it sussed” so enjoy that. See in you in 5 years for the “women are bitches!” post

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What Guys Said 95

  • No doubt there are some mean ass nasty betch career feminist tyrannist whores out there and I think I know all of them and your take definitely is spot on concerning them. BUT I'll be if some normal nice girl came up to you that you would forget about all this.

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  • Guys and girls both come in a thousand different variations. Sure, there are plenty of girls that do not want to be treated as a goddess, as there are many men who do not want to be treated as a god. Then again: I know of many people who do like to be treated such way. It just depends on who you talk to.

    Similary I know of many girls (younger than 30) that are as you describe, not interested in a committed relationship, but I know as many who are. Some are married, some are in relationships that has lasted for many years and I even know a few that are not interested in relationships or sex at all.

    As for the chivalry part: simple kindness goes a long way, especially with the little things such as holding door. At least, it works a lot for me. Of course, you should not act as pushover (mitigate yourself to please your SO), or be a dick about it (pay first, just because the other person is a woman). But as long as you remain to have your own identity, kindness is a good thing.
    Do note: it is also good to be a little bad.

    One thing I do agree with, is that being 'boyfriend material' is really overrated. But this has more to be with the fact that when people talk about boyfriend material, they are usually focussing on the wrong things. No it is not important to have a steady job, have a high income, be smart, be a gentlemen, look good, smell good, have a great relationship with your parents, have a great connection with your social community, or whatever. There are really only two things that are important:
    you respect your SO and treat her as such (which can mean kindnes, but can also mean you treat her as an equal, or use playful banter on her), and
    you respect yourself and treat yourself as such (which leads to confident behaviour).

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  • I read the title of this question and thought he was way off the mark even before clicking on it. After reading all the female comments here so far, it only confirms that yeah, he's WAY off the mark. LOL! I guess he wasted 30 minutes typing that up. 😂

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  • As a person who's been through many many relationships and currently in a long term one (2yrs+, considering how old I am), at least for my age I can confidently say this is only true to a very limited extent

    Chivalry being bad is almost just an excuse not to be chivalrous. Holding the door open for example cannot in any way be a negative act unless the person you're dating is some irrational feminist. I believe in paying for the girl (at least on the first date, esp if it was you who asked her out) but girls would generally at least offer to pay, and sometimes you should just let them.

    Second point depends on the kind of girls you're with. Women are attracted to guys who are confident, emotionally secure, successful etc but definitely will only invest seriously in a guy they see potential in the future with. "Boyfriend material" can also be subjective.

    Don't treat a girl too good? perhaps this applies outside of a committed relationship as some sort of attraction tactic, but not treating a girl well will undoubtedly lead to issues which if left unsolved will lead to a break up. If someone else is going to treat them better, why would they not leave you?

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    • Girls certainly don't treat guys well so why should guys treat girls well?

    • This isn't true and isn't applicable to all girls, of course some wouldn't.

    • Yeah you obviously don't know chivalry was the beginning of the human rights movement. I say not that chivalry is bad - just badly out of date.

  • Apart from the Girls Aren't That relationship Orientated part your mostly right. Women are mostly relationship orientated. Women will often be in a relationship with a guy they aren't really into while looking for a better guy. Often they will stay in a relationship with a guy they aren't into so they aren't single when there's a big wedding coming up or Thanksgiving is coming up or Christmas or New year's or Valentine's day or their birthday.

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  • That is sick and wrong... Women want a man to be a gentleman they also love a man’s man, and a man protects and provides for the lady in his life. I have never met a woman worth having that does not like having the door opened for them, the chair pulled out and treating her with respect and letting her know she is special. This is now and always will be a turn-on (girls do you agree?)

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  • This is why as a guy, it is important to talk to, approach, and date multiple girls until you are monogamously locked in with one of these gals.

    Because you’re just an option to her... she isn’t yours yet! So treat her like the option that she is.

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  • You get what you ask for. That is why women are always complaining here and other places. No wonder they get cheated on, and smacked around or choked during sex. Don't get doors opened for them. Never get flowers and so on.

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    • Yeah that's literally modern girls. They don't want love or romance, they want to be fucked in the ass and abused. Really gross.

  • I'll speak on this. I am 28... so let me explain from my "old man" perspective. Lol.

    When I was in high school, all the women cared about were dating and fucking the jocks, the edgy guys, the popular guys.

    When I was in college, it was more or less of the same thing... but women wanted to fuck and be around the men who had a lot of friends and high social status within the school.

    When I got out of college and was in the real world for 2 years, I noticed that women wanted a genuine connection with men and wanted a nice, good guy.

    Because of my first 2 points, I never had a girlfriend in high school and college. However, I have 1 now.

    However, this kind of behavior that women exhibit can be bad for them and for men.

    -"Nice men" who couldn't get the girl in their earlier days who can now get the girl MIGHT have a harder time staying in a committed relationship... because now that the "nice men" have options and get get a wider range of women they couldn't get before, they may want to have sex with a plethora of women, explore their options and may have a hard time settling down.

    -It's bad for women, because when women want to settle down, they will see men want to fuck around and they will have a harder time finding a guy. That is why a lot of women are freezing their eggs these days and it is taking them longer to find a man to settle down with.

    Basically, to fix this problem, you should ALWAYS date with purpose, even when you are young and stop fucking around with losers.

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  • Haha!!!

    Seven guys and one woman agreed with this garbage!

    I swear. Only GaG.

    Don't treat a woman too good?

    Guys Need To Realize That Girls Don't Want Chivalry or "Nice Guys"

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  • Be Draco Malfoy? A wimpy little brat?
    What a disgusting attempt at decrying gentlemanism.
    Chivalry will never die. I act as a gentleman as much for myself as for the women I have been raised to respect, being chivalrous does not mean you're meek. No one pay any mind to this mindless postmodern drivel. Only weak men oppose chivalry!

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  • I had to have an opinion on this take, only to say I'm disgusted that I'm only being awarded 1xper point for my comment. I don't agree with you.

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    • "Nice guys finish last"

    • I been bad and good, did not think I was in a race. You either get what you want or not, and that's because you either don't know how, or don't try hard enough.

  • i can say u are true in that , girls dont like a normal male that loves them
    they love to get beat up every day and abused verbally and physically
    they love to get cheated on , they love to get their heart broken and cry for next 2 months
    let us all guys be like this

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  • Though chivalry may no longer be a part of social mores, may of the offshoots spun from chivalry are still true. The powerful should have compassion for those they have power over, integrity remains one of the most admirable virtues. Taking responsibilility is still admirable and this society could do with a dose of etiquette.

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  • There is a big difference between chivalry and being polite. I hold doors open for women and I have had women hold doors open for me. That is just good manners. There are also still many women that still seek an meaningful realtionship. The only thing is these days an realtionship often comes with many rules and expectations. Far more than say 20 years ago so the chances of a guy being hurt by a woman are far greater than ever before.

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  • Dude... just... No...
    Just... No
    You made some valid points... but you may not have approached others correctly... You are going to drive yourself crazy... i say leave it to the bird. women are crazy.

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  • Apparently you fell from the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

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  • That's very absolute.. nothing in life is that absolute.
    No 2 women are alike...

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  • Better idea: I'll be who I want to be for me! I don't care what women want me to be, they can live their own life. That said, being a "Malfoy" won't get you laid (although it might get you arrested). Women don't want nice guys, or assholes. They want strong men... but even then they will shit-test him to death.

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    • How is being a "malfoy" not gonna get you laid? How will it get you arrested?

    • Bad boys have bad boy problems, like #metoo and morning after regrets in relation to affirmative consent being barred by alcohol. Don't be a bad boy to get bad girls, be a man and either find a decent woman or walk alone.

  • Eh...
    Why are you speaking for women on this? And clearly not speaking correctly either? There are lots of women who want those things but there are also lots of women who don't...
    The only thing I would really venture that the majority of women don't want is men who tell them what women want

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  • Hmmm... you're a bit confused sonny. Oh well. Maybe you'll figure it out.

    And don't confuse 'nice' with 'kind'. A strong alpha male isn't an asshole to people.

    What girls REALLY want is for the guy to lead. They want to respect him, be in awe of him. If he's not worthy then it just never gets there, and all you'll get is the 'meh' reaction.

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  • Dating is a fucking landmine these days.
    - He didn't take out my chair. What a douche!
    - He took out my chair!! I'm a independent woman, i can do it myself!! Don't need you to hold my hand every few seconds!!
    - He didn't pay!!
    - He said he was going to pay the whole meal!! Like i'm some helpless idiot!! What a sexist!!

    Fuck this. There's a lot of reasons why i have felt no rush getting into the dating scene, and this is one of them.

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  • There are a wide range of personalities among girls and there is no one-size-fits all approach to such a complicated subject. Many girls do want nice guys.

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  • Girls dont want you to save them, because it means you will go around saving anyone. They want to BEG for your help and be the one who gets it. You all got to carry some heavy wood, she gets a pile you get one. You finish in 20 minutes and she is only 10% done in 20 minutes. She will then say please i need your help. In which case you say only because you are so good to me will i help you. If she has been a bitch and dont fuck you right and nags you say nahh you dont do anything for me so i won't do for you. And if she is too strong a woman to ask for help, go inside and watch tv because she needs the exercise to build some muscle so she won't be so pathetic of a man. Lol.

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  • There's a huge difference between what girls like in guys and what girls choose to reward with sex.

    Being chivalrous is a good play if you're tall and handsome, but otherwise, you're just wasting your time. Girls will only lead you on.

    Girls are not chivalrous.

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  • its true... I once heard a girl not choose a guy because she said it was too perfect... no downs...
    it seems some ups and downs in the releatioships keeps her more interested... so if you are too perfect it could also be a problem...

    --> the idea that she needs something to work on... it allows her brain to send her mind signals of reward and accomplishment... that basic human mechanism keeps her fulfilled... so she comes back for more, to fix some more...

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  • That's absolute bullshit. What kind of women are you looking at? Feminazis?

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  • Why does it sound like as if like all girls only care for hookups lol

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  • Do you even know what chivalry is... its about knighthood and their duties... the fucking generations have misinterpreted this term.
    And the thing you described under being chivalrous is called being foolish on the guy's part.
    .
    And i agree with the second one tooooo 20000%
    .
    Even the 3rd one...

    And i sorry if my opinion may have made you feel a bit disrespected but i ain't going up there and editing it hahaha

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  • Not all girls are the same in the same way we guys are not. One thing i would agree is that most girls (not all mind you) do in fact text or date 6 or 7 or more guys in the same time. Simply because they will always have a lots of guys chasing them regardless or their looks or personality.
    So i think your advice to guys who text a girl and lose their head over her is on point.

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