Why I Will Never Be A Feminine Woman

Why I Will Never Be A Feminine Woman

I know this may seem like some feminist mentality stuff, but bear with me.

Yes, I am a masculine woman. Both in looks and mentally. A part of it is by choice, other by nurture, some because of the way I grew up, maybe because of looks and maybe also because I grew up around mostly men.

So why do I consider myself masculine? Now masculinity I do not neccessarily consider it a big, burly man . Masculinity in men is different to that in women. A woman can be masculine and not exactly resemble a manly man completely. It is more of a lack of femininity per se.

And before anyone asks yes I am a biological woman.

Anyway let me get into it....

Looks :

1. I am pretty tall

Okay, nothing superrrrr out of the ordinary. I mean we all see how tall female models can be and I am about 5'9/5'10 . Almost 6" above the average female height. Some days it bothers me, especially the stares, most days it doesn't.

I have met a lot of other insecure tall women though, who need either a super manly and taller man to validate them and make them feel less bad about it or they just do not want to admit that it is somewhat associated with masculinity.

But it is. People assume that I am stronger,smarter, and more independant just because of it. People also see me as more masculine because of it.

I know some models are tall and hot or so, but I am no model. The average woman doesn't look like them and just because I share the same height with adriana lima does not mean I come close to ever being as attractive.

Still, It is one of the things that makes me masculine. And I do not mean that in a bad way.

2. Facial features

I have very defined features. I also have a few not very feminine features. Chin, jaw, brow bone you get the point. Not super manly, but I would say definetly boyish. It isn't fixed easily with makeup either.

I am conflicted about this. I do not like having a boyish face but at the same time I guess it fits with my other masculine behavior.

3. Build

I am curvy so there is one thing that is not manly.

However I do have slightly bigger shoulders and bones that the average woman of course. Also bigger feet and longer hands. All due to height of course.

4. Voice

I have a deep voice. Not manly but very boyish, I get mistaken for a boy on the phone sometimes lol. This one bothers me but not toooo bad.

5. Clothes

I am torn because I do like casual women's clothes and professional stuff too, but I also love men's clothes way more. You can say I am a tomboy though. Men's clothes are bigger, cheaper, more stylish and are all around better. God knows why a lot of women's clothes are so expensive and yet bad haha.

Ok so now let me move onto personality .

1. Independent

Now this isn't a whole ' I do not need no one ' type of thing.

Actually, life forced me to be this way. For a long time, I had and still have very very few friends and an abusive family. I was betrayed and bullied a lot. At some point I had to stop crying about it and instead get shit done. Sure, I would like to someday just have someone out of kindess to do something selfless for me and show me they care, but the truth is most people do not have a long term use from me and so they do not give enough of a shit to be nice and care about me.

2. Logical

Of course I am also emotional. I think most people are but some people have more control over their emotions than others and that is what I think logic is.

This isn't neccessarily masculine in my opinion, just that men are raised and forced from an early age to supress emotions and therefore rely more on logic. That is why it is assocciated with masculinity.

3. I go after what I want

And I go after it hard. That, comes off to people as too harsh and intimidating.

4. Honesty

No matter what people like to say about appreciating honesty, most people do not like to hear the truth. I admit, sometimes I don't either. But I already suffer from depression and it is easier for me to accept hard truths and therefore I can be more honest with myself and with others(although I admit I can be biased more towards negativity, I am working on that since it is heavily influenced by the depression).

5. I approach men sometimes

Of course, I understand why most men do not want a woman like me. But they still mostly think this is too forward, I have been told that by men. It is just seen as socially weird when a woman approaching a man and more of a man thing.

6. Not being too nice

I am somewhat socially awkward yet firm and respectful though. I just do not like sugar coating and sucking up to people.

For some reason, women are seen as these happy, pure beings and any woman that displays negativity or is not too nice is seen as masculine or not like other girls. One of the most redundant advice to women to be seen as more approachable,open, better looking and to attract others towards them is to be friendly and smile even if you do not feel like it.

I simply cannot be that way.

7. Intimidating presence

I have a very serious look on my face all the time and I'm always very professional with others and also my looks make me seem intimidating. Maybe that sounded somewhat not too bad, but it doesn't really come off that way.

I just am very intimidating I guess. To most women, and to a lot of men too. I do somewhat understand, but at the same time I am not a body builder of any sort or a super influencial person so I do not see why exactly almost everyone I run into is afraid of me when I get angry. I guess that combination of masculinity in me is scary.

I do still have feminine features and personality sides too, of course.

However, masculinity stands out more than femininity while femininity is considered more laid back, cozy and more at ease but because of masculinity seen as more agressive, that is what people notice first when someone has a lot of masculinity in them.

I struggle with accepting my masculinity sometimes, and my femininity sometimes, but all I know is that I cannot be a feminine woman even if I tried. And I am, hopefully one day, going to stop beating myself up over not being like the feminine women.

People often speak of how women supress their femininity and so on, but never about those who are masculine and didn't exactly choose to be this way especially looks wise.

I hope you enjoyed this.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's nothing wrong with being a masculine woman, gal. It only becomes a problem were you to start walking around with a sense of self-entitlement and a chip on your shoulder about it.

    Furthermore, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're not attractive or sexy, in your own way. I'm not pretentious enough to suggest that my opinion matters but, hell, if that's you in the picture, I think you have a nice face. Also, short hair looks good on some gals, and you pull it off nicely.

    If everyone were exactly the same, dating, sex, and meeting new people would be no fun, at all.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I like this mytake. I think a lot of androgynous women are misunderstood and labelled because of thier appearance and how they present themselves. I'm sure a few people will have some bullshit to say but whatever thier irrelevant.

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What Girls & Guys Said

710
  • I am a woman and I feel like a woman. People would never mistake me for a man, but I identify with a lot of the things you named.

    I decided that while I might not be a traditionally feminine girly girl, I am still feminine. I just decide for myself what that means!

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  • This is one of those "takes" a lot of folks here would struggle with. Because if their simplistic definitions of femininity and masculinity. Great take.

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  • I applaud your honesty and courage. by the way, you have an attractive face.

    Are you interested in men? Does that contribute to your frustration?
    If so, there are easy things you could do from clothing that tastefully accentuates your femininity (you said you are curvy, right?) to wearing just a touch of make up, such as lipstick.
    As far as your height and other things you mentioned, there is someone for everyone. There are guys who will think you are sexy and awesome. They won't be intimidated. If you are interested in finding a man, you just need to put out some signals. The first is to let men know that you are female. Don't hide your radiance under a bushel.

    Best of luck. You sound like a nice person. I wish you happiness.

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  • Simply because you're not traditionally "feminine" does not mean you're masculine. There is a spectrum of femininity. Just as there is a spectrum of masculinity. Just because you;re assertive doesn't mean you're not feminine. I wear board shorts and T shirts all the time and running shoes. It's my garb. I don't care that it's not girly. I'm comfortable in my garden, riding my bike, living. I've got some dresses, but meh. Either a man like me as I am or not. I can't be bothered. Accept and love yourself and others will too.

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  • Nice take. Just forget the labels society like to give and be yourself!☺

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  • As long as you don't devote yourself to fighting femininity in women, you do you.

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  • I wish my penis were so big I needed a shopping cart.

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  • Toxic Masculinity, right? 😂

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  • Do you. That's always the best route. Always.

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  • K cool

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  • Good luck out there. Thanks for sharing.

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  • My respect.

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  • Good take.

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  • Be yourself. That is all you have to do.

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  • There will come a point in your life, hopefully sooner rather than later, where you stop trying to analyze yourself or try to fit in or conform...and instead, just be. People have mocked me my whole life for being first a tall kid, and then a tall woman...and I still wear 4 inch heels because that's their problem, not mine. I think when you absorb that feeling into your skin that it's okay to be whomever the f' you want to be, you'll start to truly feel what it means to be confident and listen to that voice in your own head above all the rest that says "I got this." Until then, don't stop being you for anybody else. Not worth it.

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  • As an androgynous woman I feel your pain. Sending you love & thank you for reminding me i am not alone

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  • Ewwwwwwww

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