As an insecure woman myself this question wouldn’t upset me. I’d be confused and wouldn’t know how to answer because I recognize that I don’t have anything to offer that sets me apart. As an insecure woman, I allowed my husband to define what I had to offer when he said I will fill in the responsibilities of a woman. Fast forward to almost 10 years of feeling empty and unsatisfied with life because I underestimated myself and my potential. What a modern woman wants is not to have to compete with her husband. How about treating each other like equal partners and expecting her to contribute what you expect to contribute yourself. This question should be offensive to a woman that respects herself. Especially if she’s worked hard to get where she’s at to find an equal partner. If you’re asking this then you’re not wanting an equal partner. What you’ll get is someone who is used to selling herself on her strong points. Doesn’t mean jack shit on her confidence levels.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Wow buddy... this has NOTHING to do with women being “insecure”... And if you don’t get that, then you’re an idiot. There is something so much more complicated going on here, that I honestly can even try to put into words. All I can say is, if you want to understand what I’m trying to say, you’ll need to live a couple years as a female, and then and only then, you’ll actually get it. The top dog can NEVER fully understand the underdog until they’re the fucking underdog themselves. Try to understand that.
How is he supposed to know its not about insecurity when you’re not willing to explain it? While I agree with you, I think you’re just proving his point.
@2Lips well I guess I better said what I meant in a second reply I made: No, a woman asking “what do you do for a living?” Is the EQUIVALENT of a man not even considering a woman from a distance if she isn’t thin, attractive, and sexy. I have fallen in love and dated men that would not be considered attractive by social standards but because I loved who they were on the inside. What made me give him a chance was that he had his crap together and had a good job. Women go for men who have good careers, men go for women’s physical appearance when they decide to date someone. It’s called biology. Both sides get resentful about it. But it’s true. A man asking a woman what her effing value is for HIM? Well unless he’s ready and eager to ALSO offer up how he can be of better value than another man with a good job, then he’s just a bitter, arrogant ass.
I would honestly ignore that question and leave the conversation entirely. For the most part I’m very secure in myself what I have going on in my life but people who think like that dude in the video repel me. Having that mindset is enough for me to walk away immediately, I don’t really care how they interpret it. You can think I’m weak, because I think you’re gross. Mutual dislike so all is good and balanced 😂
@UmarCGA Ok well me as an individual I would have no reason to prove myself to someone who’d ask me that question or someone who has that mentality. If you feel it’s weakness, keep on feeling that way 😂
It's a very pointed and no-nonsense question. It's quite important, but there's a better way of asking it. A lot of women have simply never thought about what they bring to the table, others want to have time to feel the relationship out to determine what they bring to the table. I think most women will simply upset with you for treating a potential romantic connection with them the same way that you would treat a low cost power salesman at Best Buy. Women want to believe that they are special. Asking a woman to explain her worth is a bold faced advertisement that she isn't in charge, and that she's quite replaceable.
Why should she need to deliver something other women can't? I don't blame them for being pissed if that question is asked. I am not going to deliver something to the woman that other guys can't. That creates a impossible situation, should only unique people with unique resources be people who get together and all other stay single just because we aren't special enough? So this isn't about her insecurity it's about your ridiculous demands. You can never get a fair relationship with that start.
Well first of all you don't have the option to get any woman's pussy, anyone starting with that question is bound to lose the great majority of your options because you haven't proven your unique. She has just approach and clearly noticed that your full of yourself. And that is when you become unworthy. Instead of appreciate that she took the effort and nicely hear her out. And if you think she is only bringing her pussy into the deal you really have a poor woman view, which is another reason for them to reject you. Her package doesn't have to contain something unique the combination may differ compare to others but it only needs to be good enough for a fair trade.
Very accurate! I remember many times when women were being asked that question and then there's silence. Basically means they offer nothing but their beautiful bodies. And to see this happening more often than not is quite a bad situation. But never forget, that relationships are about GIVING, not exactly GETTING.
At least we men find a way out in any case - if we really want to ;)
The question itself obviously is legitimate, but it's a matter of how you ask it, when you ask it, and your general attitude towards the woman you ask it. And it's understandable many would react defensive because you gotta admit that question can easily come across as both very presumptuous and one-sided. I'm not saying it is, but like I said, it really depends on how you ask etc. If you just straight ask "what do you have to offer?" you just sound like a rude, anti-social asshole. So something like this needs to be asked in a friendly and tactful way, and also communicating properly that it goes both ways of course.
@AlienParasite Yes, that's pretty much what I'm saying. Like I said, it's of course legitimate to want to know something like this, but everything in that douche's video as well as in Mr. "just playing devil's advocate here" gives off very strong asshole attitude vibes. I have a feeling that's exactly how he would ask this question his date - "So, what do YOU have to offer? Huh?". A decent guy would just have a friendly, lighthearted conversation to simply find out what she has to offer. But you know, that's GaG for you - it's most guys who simply don't know how to properly talk to women. That's why they're on a forum like GaG in the first place. Haha
You talk as if being in a relationship / marriage is a business or trading of goods... its not. It's about emotional connection and having someone you can rely on. Someone you can be comfortable with and supports you. And this should be equal on both sides. I don't know what qualities or imbalances you seem to be so worked up about but you shouldn't enter a relationship to immediately gain something. It's a give and take. Sometimes you give a little more and sometimes you get a little more.
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I always ask what she does in her spare time. It's less of an interview question, and much more telling. If she has a hard time coming up with an answer, she's probably not worth dating. If she looks to her left when she's answering, she's making shit up.
The usual "getting to know her" questions are perfectly fine. You just have to know how to "read" her answers. This is also the reason I don't like texting for getting to know a woman. The words themselves are less than 10% of the information.
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+1 y
But in general, I agree that men are the more important people in relationships. We're more of an asset, where women are generally more of an expenditure than they're worth.
I don't share your opinion as insecurity is not a deal breaker to me and to some persons.
Besides, it's very unlikely that someone can offer you something that others don't. To me, what makes a person unique is the combination of qualities they represent, not one specific quality so I would go with a different approach.
Furthermore, asking such a question in my opinion gives a vibe that you feel superior to her, like you're giving an interview or something. I would rather give off a same level vibe, not inferior nor superior because, if we are both looking for someone, we are both in the same boat.
I would much rather take the time to play something like 36 questions with her that is very effective, same level and less pressuring than asking such a question out of the blue.
I have no problem answering that question to a guy, but the big thing here is what purplepoppy said. We aren't on a date or getting to know a guy for an interview, and that's annoying, so of course we're going to ghost you, ignore you, etc.
If you're interested in seeing my point, watch how many of those guys who asked that come BACK to the same woman once she ghosts him and shows her worth and respect to another man who isn't an interviewer. That's where that man gets in a tantrum.
"You have expectations for me to contribute to the relationship? Kay I'll find someome else."
This is the equivalent of man ghosting you because you told him that you think men need to contribute 50/50 to housework/chores. Or in the middle of the date you ask, "what's your biggest passion?", and in response he just stands up and leaves.
@devilman666 Both contribute - guy and girl, so I don't know where your first quote statement came from. And why would he stand up and leave when asked about his passion? I’m sorry, call me stupid, but I don’t understand your point at all.
If both contribute then what is wrong with asking a woman what she will contribute to the relationship?
That quote was the essence of what I took from what you said, that what you really meant was that you dont want anyone asking what you will contribite to the relationship.
Because asking a man what he's passionate about is an interview question. Not only is it legit something that could be asked at an interview, but it's also a question women often use early on to try and figure out whether the man is worth their time. No woman seems to want an unambitious man, they use it as a way to get an idea how much you'll be worth in the future. If the man says, "my only ambition is to help clean up the planet as much as I can.", and he went out on weekends to collect garbage to keep his community clean then you'd probably not be interested, if he said "I plan on working hard to get promoted in my career, my goal is to get a 6 figure salary so that I can buy a Rolls-Royce.", then you'd be much more interested.
"What will you contribute to the relationship?" -INTERVIEW QUESTION!! "What's your biggest passion?" -NOT AN INTERVIEW QUESTION!!
@devilman666 Both are “interview” questions. And my first sentence says that I don’t have any issue answering that for a guy... literally my very first sentence. How did you miss that?
@Yads_Is_Back I didn't, but you went on to say, "of course we're going to ghost you, ignore you, etc.".
If you ghost people who ask you inferview questions then dont be surprised if you get ghosted when you ask interview questions. That's why I went with the guy getting up and leaving without saying anything, because that's what ghosting is.
@devilman666 Ahhh I get you. Yes, you're right, but keep in mind that an interview consists of multiple questions. A question or two is fine, but a lot of times guys want to make a first date an interview. Yes, that's annoying and he shouldn't expect a second. But I get what you mean. To rephrase it, I don't have a problem answering the question, and a few questions is fine, but I'm not there for an interview as in so many questions. Make more sense now? Sorry, I guess I misworded
Plus, I'm more social and don't ask a bunch of questions, so I've never been ghosted for that, but if I was one for interviewing then no I wouldn't be surprised.
Only boys ask such questions, not men and gag is full of whiny little boys and therefore, i am not suprised at the answeres and likes. These are the same guys who call traditional women golddiggers for them excepting a man to provide her and pay the dates but also call working women caarer whores.
^^^^^^^^ HEY BOSS, I FOUND A LOW QUALITY WOMAN, MAKE SURE YOU AVOID THIS ONE LIKE THE PLAGUE!
Lol, how dare we ask what you can offer us? We are supposed to only expect sex, because we are stupid, horny, men.
I'm not upset by either of those, what upset me is a woman who works part time, an expects her man to make twice as much as she does and give her everything she wants, but then also, since she chooses to work part time they split the chores 50/50. So he works extra hard to provide for her and then they split the housework evenly? That doesn't make sense. The majority of working women expect their man to earn more than they do, so it's not like this is a rare thing.
I dont know any women who work part time but also have partners who split the 50/59 house whores. It is more she does the all household chores and child care but also work part time to support the family. I think you should stop dreaming much.
If you are not upset by this why do you get triggered by my post so much? Just because i mentioned the incels like you who put words in my mouth and say things i did not imply or said? Are you schizophrenic or say things i did not even say? Suck your so called boss dick somewhereelse rather than under my post. Thank you
I'm triggered because you're calling men children because they're asking you the same kind of questions that you ask them.
And now I'm an incel? Okay sure 👍👌
Maybe I am schizophrenic, do you have a problem with schizophrenic people? You fucking bigot!
Woah, is that homophobia? You're trying to make fun of me by calling me gay, and that is homophobic, I'm reporting you for homophobia, this kind of anti-gay behaviour can not be tolerated.
"Doesn't matter if you know then or not, they exist and studies show that women are more likely to work part time than men..." - that does not prove your statements. A man who provide his housewife can work overtime. How do you know it is usually about couples where the man work over time and split the 50/50 house chores and has partners with part time job?
"I'm triggered because you're calling men children because they're asking you the same kind of questions that you ask them." I call guys children, not men
"Maybe I am schizophrenic, do you have a problem with schizophrenic people? You fucking bigot!" You are overinterpreting again
"Woah, is that homophobia? You're trying to make fun of me by calling me gay, and that is homophobic, I'm reporting you for homophobia, this kind of anti-gay behaviour can not be tolerated." But it is ok to be sexist?
I don't know that it's usually couple where the man works overtime and they split the housework 50/50, I was mpdtly using that as an example to show how a lot of women still want a traditional protector/provider, even though they refuse to do their traditional role, and they expect 50/50 in everything other than earnings.
What differentiates a guy from a man? XD "I call gals children, not women."
No, it's not okay to be sexist. Tell me, have I said anything sexist so far?
A man dont whine and blame a woman for their failures, while a guy does that. The take itself is provocative and is another way to blame women for everything and excuse to be sexist and so you are not better than him
"A man dont whine" yeah and "real men dont cry". Fucking sexist women and their sexist standards for men, yet you think I'm the sexist? "You're not a real man/woman unless you act how I tell you to act!".
What's wrong with being provocative?
How is this take blaming women for everything? How is asking a woman what she will contribute to a relationship an excuse to be sexist? And also, I'm sexist too because I commented? Do you even know what sexism is? Because that isn't sexism.
Sexism: prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex.
You all Stereotyping and generalizing all women which makes you sexist. If you ask such question a woman, there would not be another date because it is rude and huge red flag. That is like asking a man whether he is a cunt/asshole or not. if a woman asked such question, you all would be pissed. You can't be that stupid and ask such a question and then except her to take you serious. And you put words in mouth again I did not say men can't cry but the fact is that men are less emotional and i dont have a time for a whiny child who play shit games with me
"Men dont whine", but I'm the one stereotyping and generalizing? How have I stereotyped or generalized women? Give me one example, or else I'll assume you're lying to try and make me seem like a bad person.
How is it like asking a man if he is a cunt/asshole?
"What will you contribute to the relarionship?", seems more like asking a man, "how much money do you make?". Women ask questions like this all the time on dates, and it does piss off some men, but most are used to it. Women want to know what they can get out of us, almost all men know that.
Then you can't ask a man how much he makes without expecting him to walk out and leave you with the bill. XD
I wasn't putting words in your mouth there I was comparing what you said to the sexist tradition of oppressing men's emotions. Men aren't less emotional, they're just better at repressing their emotions.
How is it playing games to ask "what will yoh contribute to our relationship?" That seems very different from playing games in my opinion. If a man was playing games then he'd be trying to get into your pants right away, the fact that he is thinking about the long term should show that he isn't playing games. Whatever though, I'm glad you don't have time for such men, it makes it really easy for smart men to realize that you didn't plan on contributing anything to the relationship, and he's better off without you.
Women don't get angry, only little girls do that. Real women can control their emotions and act calm and feminine at all times.
*sarcasm, I'm trying to show you how sexist it is to say, "men dont whine", that is you holding men to the traditional standard, while not holding women to any standard.*
Men also can ask what kind if Job she has etc. but we dont ask men what he can do better than other men. That is really like asking if he is a cunt like other guys or not
You aren't that straight forward but you compare the man you're dating to other men. If he makes less money than you then you're going to think less of him than if he makes more than you. In that way you are comparing him to other men when you ask how much he makes.
How is asking your partner what they will contribute to the relationship like asking a man if he is a cunt? Tell me that.
Being provocative is legal, slapping me is not legal, that is assault and battery. You can walk away if you want, but hitting people is not okay.
Who tf ask someone how much he/she earns? You can ask what kind of job she/he has but not what she/he offers but other people dont. By doing that you are asking for trouble snd i have anger issues and so i hate people provocate me like that and wonder why i become violent
You can ask what kind of job she/he has but not what she/he offers what other people dont do. By doing that you are asking for trouble. I have anger issues and so i hate people who provocate me like that and wonder why i become violent***
I do think that there is more pressure on men to justify why they are worth dating while women view themselves as prizes and just sit back/ cast judgment on all their various suitors.
That being said, what can any of us really offer that someone else couldn't? Most people are average or worse and don't possess any rare traits/qualities that couldn't easily be found in another person.
XD what do you mean? Women love these questions, they ask them all the time on dates! Like when a girl asks how much you make, or what kind of job you have, she's interviewing you to be her sugar daddy.
No, a woman asking “what do you do for a living?” Is the EQUIVALENT of a man not even considering a woman from a distance if she isn’t thin, attractive, and sexy. I have fallen in love and dated men that would not be considered attractive by social standards but because I loved who they were on the inside. What made me give him a chance was that he had his crap together and had a good job. Women go for men who have good careers, men go for women’s physical appearance when they decide to date someone. It’s called biology. Both sides get resentful about it. But it’s true. A man asking a woman what her effing value is for HIM? Well unless he’s ready and eager to ALSO offer up how he can be of better value than another man with a good job, then he’s just a bitter, arrogant ass.
@sadiefluff in that case I want things to go back to the way they were, women should be forced to be dependent on men, that way we can marry a beautiful woman and not worry about her leaving and taking half our stuff. I want to have a beautiful wife who can't divorce me or say no to me when I want sex.
Tbh I'm being sarcastic, this is the world you advocate for when you say that it's biology though, you're saying we shouldn't make an effort to change, we should just accept that men only care about appearance and women only care about money.
@devilman666 Your first paragraph is 100% true, at least to me, in my culture. Yes, we are very traditional. We are not to be all concerned about money, the men are not to be only concerned about looks, but as for the principle of what your first paragraph implies - the woman being submissive to the man that way in marriage? YES!
@devilman666 no, that’s not what I’m saying, I’m simply pointing out that that is the actual EQUIVALENT to a woman caring about how much a guy makes. I’m not saying any of this is modern or acceptable, I’m just simply responding to guys who are making the argument that this is what gives them the right to ask their dates this question. If all things are fair and equal, then shouldn’t the man ALSO need to answer this question? They’re two human beings on a date. They could both have equally lucrative careers, he’ll the GIRL could be making more than him! Fancy that concept! So for a man to just out right ask the woman such an incredibly condescending question... seriously.
Um, not to shock you or anything buddy, but if I ask that question or if HE asks ME (yeah guys do it too! Welcome to the modern era!) I’m actually just trying to get to know him and what he’s passionate about or merely what he’s chosen in his life for a career or not chosen, it just tells you more about the person, that is really ALL IT IS for MOST women (maybe not all of us) but MOST. Just like asking a woman what SHE does for a living, it doesn’t mean they are there to bleed you for every penny down the road or use you for your damn money. FRANKLY I’d ACTUALLY be put off by a guy if he had some high paying job that indicated that perhaps we had NOTHING in common... Believe it or not, which I’m guessing you won’t, (or any of the other seriously insecure women hating men who have commented positive to your stupid question) NOT ALL WOMEN ARE AFTER YOU FOR YOUR MONEY. 🤯
That's not a question you should ask someone online or over the phone. That's a face to face question for a serious conversation, and you probably shouldn't lead with that. If that's something that you genuinely want to know the answer to, I think it should be asked after you meet and get to know each other a bit.
Mr. O has excellent insight, as usual. In my rants, I have pointed out that foreign-born East Asians and Latinas still possess the traditional qualities men actually want. I brought a Philippine woman to the USA and married her. To possible detractors, she is about my age and lived on her own before coming here. I feel like I'm cheating fate every day.
and the NUMBER ONE question every male dreads: does my ass look fat in these jeans? doesn't matter our answer, you use it to critisize us anyway because its wrong. yes we know you butt looks fat but we ain't gonna point it out because we care about your feelings too.
This is a really interesting take and I like it, but Darius in the Video could've been way more Respectful talking about women regardless of if he was saying facts or not, you simply don't talk in a biased way and expect people to hear you out, He sounded like he has experience but he probably got this as a bright idea or copied it from somewhere...
Women dont have anything to offer. They are in fact extremely detrimental to you life as a man. This is why women are terrified of sex dolls / robots and are actively campaigning to ban them. They can literally be replaced with an inanimate object. The only thing besides sex they can offer is children, but with the laws bieng what they are you are far more likely to lose your children in a divorce than to be a part of thier lives.
There are very clear reasons that aren't popular or comfortable for they that are like this. The best thing is to which them good luck with someone that's into someone like her. That will piss her off really bad on the inside unless she suffers from to much narcissism.
Usually immatur female's get triggered by this question. especially if she tries to make you to show what you have to bring to the table. even if it's just in her mind.
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As an insecure woman myself this question wouldn’t upset me. I’d be confused and wouldn’t know how to answer because I recognize that I don’t have anything to offer that sets me apart. As an insecure woman, I allowed my husband to define what I had to offer when he said I will fill in the responsibilities of a woman. Fast forward to almost 10 years of feeling empty and unsatisfied with life because I underestimated myself and my potential. What a modern woman wants is not to have to compete with her husband. How about treating each other like equal partners and expecting her to contribute what you expect to contribute yourself. This question should be offensive to a woman that respects herself. Especially if she’s worked hard to get where she’s at to find an equal partner. If you’re asking this then you’re not wanting an equal partner. What you’ll get is someone who is used to selling herself on her strong points. Doesn’t mean jack shit on her confidence levels.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Wow buddy... this has NOTHING to do with women being “insecure”... And if you don’t get that, then you’re an idiot. There is something so much more complicated going on here, that I honestly can even try to put into words. All I can say is, if you want to understand what I’m trying to say, you’ll need to live a couple years as a female, and then and only then, you’ll actually get it. The top dog can NEVER fully understand the underdog until they’re the fucking underdog themselves. Try to understand that.
How is he supposed to know its not about insecurity when you’re not willing to explain it? While I agree with you, I think you’re just proving his point.
@2Lips well I guess I better said what I meant in a second reply I made:
No, a woman asking “what do you do for a living?” Is the EQUIVALENT of a man not even considering a woman from a distance if she isn’t thin, attractive, and sexy. I have fallen in love and dated men that would not be considered attractive by social standards but because I loved who they were on the inside. What made me give him a chance was that he had his crap together and had a good job. Women go for men who have good careers, men go for women’s physical appearance when they decide to date someone. It’s called biology. Both sides get resentful about it. But it’s true. A man asking a woman what her effing value is for HIM? Well unless he’s ready and eager to ALSO offer up how he can be of better value than another man with a good job, then he’s just a bitter, arrogant ass.
I would honestly ignore that question and leave the conversation entirely. For the most part I’m very secure in myself what I have going on in my life but people who think like that dude in the video repel me. Having that mindset is enough for me to walk away immediately, I don’t really care how they interpret it. You can think I’m weak, because I think you’re gross. Mutual dislike so all is good and balanced 😂
Well women never wana prove anything that is not weakness. That is women are spoiled. And that is done by us
@UmarCGA Ok well me as an individual I would have no reason to prove myself to someone who’d ask me that question or someone who has that mentality. If you feel it’s weakness, keep on feeling that way 😂
It's a very pointed and no-nonsense question. It's quite important, but there's a better way of asking it. A lot of women have simply never thought about what they bring to the table, others want to have time to feel the relationship out to determine what they bring to the table. I think most women will simply upset with you for treating a potential romantic connection with them the same way that you would treat a low cost power salesman at Best Buy. Women want to believe that they are special. Asking a woman to explain her worth is a bold faced advertisement that she isn't in charge, and that she's quite replaceable.
Why should she need to deliver something other women can't? I don't blame them for being pissed if that question is asked. I am not going to deliver something to the woman that other guys can't. That creates a impossible situation, should only unique people with unique resources be people who get together and all other stay single just because we aren't special enough? So this isn't about her insecurity it's about your ridiculous demands. You can never get a fair relationship with that start.
The question is basically saying "what makes you unique?" Or to put it more bluntly adam...
"What do you have to offer in this relationship other than a pussy which every woman has?"
Does that make sense?
Well first of all you don't have the option to get any woman's pussy, anyone starting with that question is bound to lose the great majority of your options because you haven't proven your unique. She has just approach and clearly noticed that your full of yourself. And that is when you become unworthy. Instead of appreciate that she took the effort and nicely hear her out. And if you think she is only bringing her pussy into the deal you really have a poor woman view, which is another reason for them to reject you. Her package doesn't have to contain something unique the combination may differ compare to others but it only needs to be good enough for a fair trade.
"What can you offer me that another woman can't?"
Very accurate! I remember many times when women were being asked that question and then there's silence. Basically means they offer nothing but their beautiful bodies. And to see this happening more often than not is quite a bad situation.
But never forget, that relationships are about GIVING, not exactly GETTING.
At least we men find a way out in any case - if we really want to ;)
The question itself obviously is legitimate, but it's a matter of how you ask it, when you ask it, and your general attitude towards the woman you ask it. And it's understandable many would react defensive because you gotta admit that question can easily come across as both very presumptuous and one-sided. I'm not saying it is, but like I said, it really depends on how you ask etc. If you just straight ask "what do you have to offer?" you just sound like a rude, anti-social asshole. So something like this needs to be asked in a friendly and tactful way, and also communicating properly that it goes both ways of course.
I think that if at least was only "what do you have to offer" it would come as less rude than "what do you have to offer than another woman can't".
@AlienParasite Yes, that's pretty much what I'm saying. Like I said, it's of course legitimate to want to know something like this, but everything in that douche's video as well as in Mr. "just playing devil's advocate here" gives off very strong asshole attitude vibes. I have a feeling that's exactly how he would ask this question his date - "So, what do YOU have to offer? Huh?". A decent guy would just have a friendly, lighthearted conversation to simply find out what she has to offer. But you know, that's GaG for you - it's most guys who simply don't know how to properly talk to women. That's why they're on a forum like GaG in the first place. Haha
*mostly guys
You talk as if being in a relationship / marriage is a business or trading of goods... its not. It's about emotional connection and having someone you can rely on. Someone you can be comfortable with and supports you. And this should be equal on both sides. I don't know what qualities or imbalances you seem to be so worked up about but you shouldn't enter a relationship to immediately gain something. It's a give and take. Sometimes you give a little more and sometimes you get a little more.
I always ask what she does in her spare time. It's less of an interview question, and much more telling. If she has a hard time coming up with an answer, she's probably not worth dating. If she looks to her left when she's answering, she's making shit up.
The usual "getting to know her" questions are perfectly fine. You just have to know how to "read" her answers. This is also the reason I don't like texting for getting to know a woman. The words themselves are less than 10% of the information.
But in general, I agree that men are the more important people in relationships. We're more of an asset, where women are generally more of an expenditure than they're worth.
I don't share your opinion as insecurity is not a deal breaker to me and to some persons.
Besides, it's very unlikely that someone can offer you something that others don't. To me, what makes a person unique is the combination of qualities they represent, not one specific quality so I would go with a different approach.
Furthermore, asking such a question in my opinion gives a vibe that you feel superior to her, like you're giving an interview or something. I would rather give off a same level vibe, not inferior nor superior because, if we are both looking for someone, we are both in the same boat.
I would much rather take the time to play something like 36 questions with her that is very effective, same level and less pressuring than asking such a question out of the blue.
I have no problem answering that question to a guy, but the big thing here is what purplepoppy said. We aren't on a date or getting to know a guy for an interview, and that's annoying, so of course we're going to ghost you, ignore you, etc.
If you're interested in seeing my point, watch how many of those guys who asked that come BACK to the same woman once she ghosts him and shows her worth and respect to another man who isn't an interviewer. That's where that man gets in a tantrum.
"You have expectations for me to contribute to the relationship? Kay I'll find someome else."
This is the equivalent of man ghosting you because you told him that you think men need to contribute 50/50 to housework/chores. Or in the middle of the date you ask, "what's your biggest passion?", and in response he just stands up and leaves.
@devilman666 Both contribute - guy and girl, so I don't know where your first quote statement came from. And why would he stand up and leave when asked about his passion? I’m sorry, call me stupid, but I don’t understand your point at all.
If both contribute then what is wrong with asking a woman what she will contribute to the relationship?
That quote was the essence of what I took from what you said, that what you really meant was that you dont want anyone asking what you will contribite to the relationship.
Because asking a man what he's passionate about is an interview question. Not only is it legit something that could be asked at an interview, but it's also a question women often use early on to try and figure out whether the man is worth their time. No woman seems to want an unambitious man, they use it as a way to get an idea how much you'll be worth in the future. If the man says, "my only ambition is to help clean up the planet as much as I can.", and he went out on weekends to collect garbage to keep his community clean then you'd probably not be interested, if he said "I plan on working hard to get promoted in my career, my goal is to get a 6 figure salary so that I can buy a Rolls-Royce.", then you'd be much more interested.
"What will you contribute to the relationship?" -INTERVIEW QUESTION!!
"What's your biggest passion?" -NOT AN INTERVIEW QUESTION!!
@devilman666 Both are “interview” questions. And my first sentence says that I don’t have any issue answering that for a guy... literally my very first sentence. How did you miss that?
@Yads_Is_Back I didn't, but you went on to say, "of course we're going to ghost you, ignore you, etc.".
If you ghost people who ask you inferview questions then dont be surprised if you get ghosted when you ask interview questions. That's why I went with the guy getting up and leaving without saying anything, because that's what ghosting is.
@devilman666 Ahhh I get you. Yes, you're right, but keep in mind that an interview consists of multiple questions. A question or two is fine, but a lot of times guys want to make a first date an interview. Yes, that's annoying and he shouldn't expect a second. But I get what you mean. To rephrase it, I don't have a problem answering the question, and a few questions is fine, but I'm not there for an interview as in so many questions. Make more sense now? Sorry, I guess I misworded
Plus, I'm more social and don't ask a bunch of questions, so I've never been ghosted for that, but if I was one for interviewing then no I wouldn't be surprised.
Yeah that makes more sense. Thank you, and have a nice day.
Only boys ask such questions, not men and gag is full of whiny little boys and therefore, i am not suprised at the answeres and likes. These are the same guys who call traditional women golddiggers for them excepting a man to provide her and pay the dates but also call working women caarer whores.
^^^^^^^^ HEY BOSS, I FOUND A LOW QUALITY WOMAN, MAKE SURE YOU AVOID THIS ONE LIKE THE PLAGUE!
Lol, how dare we ask what you can offer us? We are supposed to only expect sex, because we are stupid, horny, men.
I'm not upset by either of those, what upset me is a woman who works part time, an expects her man to make twice as much as she does and give her everything she wants, but then also, since she chooses to work part time they split the chores 50/50. So he works extra hard to provide for her and then they split the housework evenly? That doesn't make sense. The majority of working women expect their man to earn more than they do, so it's not like this is a rare thing.
I dont know any women who work part time but also have partners who split the 50/59 house whores. It is more she does the all household chores and child care but also work part time to support the family. I think you should stop dreaming much.
If you are not upset by this why do you get triggered by my post so much? Just because i mentioned the incels like you who put words in my mouth and say things i did not imply or said? Are you schizophrenic or say things i did not even say? Suck your so called boss dick somewhereelse rather than under my post. Thank you
** why do you say things i did not say?**
statusofwomendata.org/.../
Doesn't matter if you know then or not, they exist and studies show that women are more likely to work part time than men.
Further, men are more likely to work overtime.
towardsdatascience.com/is-the-difference-in-work-hours-the-real-reason-for-the-gender-wage-gap-interactive-infographic-6051dff3a041
Men on average work 41 hours a week, women on average work 36.1 hours per week.
I'm triggered because you're calling men children because they're asking you the same kind of questions that you ask them.
And now I'm an incel? Okay sure 👍👌
Maybe I am schizophrenic, do you have a problem with schizophrenic people? You fucking bigot!
Woah, is that homophobia? You're trying to make fun of me by calling me gay, and that is homophobic, I'm reporting you for homophobia, this kind of anti-gay behaviour can not be tolerated.
"Doesn't matter if you know then or not, they exist and studies show that women are more likely to work part time than men..." - that does not prove your statements. A man who provide his housewife can work overtime. How do you know it is usually about couples where the man work over time and split the 50/50 house chores and has partners with part time job?
"I'm triggered because you're calling men children because they're asking you the same kind of questions that you ask them." I call guys children, not men
"Maybe I am schizophrenic, do you have a problem with schizophrenic people? You fucking bigot!" You are overinterpreting again
"Woah, is that homophobia? You're trying to make fun of me by calling me gay, and that is homophobic, I'm reporting you for homophobia, this kind of anti-gay behaviour can not be tolerated." But it is ok to be sexist?
I don't know that it's usually couple where the man works overtime and they split the housework 50/50, I was mpdtly using that as an example to show how a lot of women still want a traditional protector/provider, even though they refuse to do their traditional role, and they expect 50/50 in everything other than earnings.
What differentiates a guy from a man? XD "I call gals children, not women."
No, it's not okay to be sexist. Tell me, have I said anything sexist so far?
A man dont whine and blame a woman for their failures, while a guy does that. The take itself is provocative and is another way to blame women for everything and excuse to be sexist and so you are not better than him
"A man dont whine" yeah and "real men dont cry". Fucking sexist women and their sexist standards for men, yet you think I'm the sexist? "You're not a real man/woman unless you act how I tell you to act!".
What's wrong with being provocative?
How is this take blaming women for everything? How is asking a woman what she will contribute to a relationship an excuse to be sexist? And also, I'm sexist too because I commented? Do you even know what sexism is? Because that isn't sexism.
Sexism: prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex.
You all Stereotyping and generalizing all women which makes you sexist. If you ask such question a woman, there would not be another date because it is rude and huge red flag. That is like asking a man whether he is a cunt/asshole or not. if a woman asked such question, you all would be pissed. You can't be that stupid and ask such a question and then except her to take you serious. And you put words in mouth again I did not say men can't cry but the fact is that men are less emotional and i dont have a time for a whiny child who play shit games with me
"Men dont whine", but I'm the one stereotyping and generalizing? How have I stereotyped or generalized women? Give me one example, or else I'll assume you're lying to try and make me seem like a bad person.
How is it like asking a man if he is a cunt/asshole?
"What will you contribute to the relarionship?", seems more like asking a man, "how much money do you make?". Women ask questions like this all the time on dates, and it does piss off some men, but most are used to it. Women want to know what they can get out of us, almost all men know that.
Then you can't ask a man how much he makes without expecting him to walk out and leave you with the bill. XD
I wasn't putting words in your mouth there I was comparing what you said to the sexist tradition of oppressing men's emotions. Men aren't less emotional, they're just better at repressing their emotions.
How is it playing games to ask "what will yoh contribute to our relationship?" That seems very different from playing games in my opinion. If a man was playing games then he'd be trying to get into your pants right away, the fact that he is thinking about the long term should show that he isn't playing games. Whatever though, I'm glad you don't have time for such men, it makes it really easy for smart men to realize that you didn't plan on contributing anything to the relationship, and he's better off without you.
Women don't get angry, only little girls do that. Real women can control their emotions and act calm and feminine at all times.
*sarcasm, I'm trying to show you how sexist it is to say, "men dont whine", that is you holding men to the traditional standard, while not holding women to any standard.*
Men also can ask what kind if Job she has etc. but we dont ask men what he can do better than other men. That is really like asking if he is a cunt like other guys or not
Sorry but you are really provocating if you ask such stupid question and ask for getting slapped
You aren't that straight forward but you compare the man you're dating to other men. If he makes less money than you then you're going to think less of him than if he makes more than you. In that way you are comparing him to other men when you ask how much he makes.
How is asking your partner what they will contribute to the relationship like asking a man if he is a cunt? Tell me that.
Being provocative is legal, slapping me is not legal, that is assault and battery. You can walk away if you want, but hitting people is not okay.
Who tf ask someone how much he/she earns? You can ask what kind of job she/he has but not what she/he offers but other people dont. By doing that you are asking for trouble snd i have anger issues and so i hate people provocate me like that and wonder why i become violent
You can ask what kind of job she/he has but not what she/he offers what other people dont do. By doing that you are asking for trouble. I have anger issues and so i hate people who provocate me like that and wonder why i become violent***
"What can you offer me that another woman can't"
I do think that there is more pressure on men to justify why they are worth dating while women view themselves as prizes and just sit back/ cast judgment on all their various suitors.
That being said, what can any of us really offer that someone else couldn't?
Most people are average or worse and don't possess any rare traits/qualities that couldn't easily be found in another person.
What we hate are job interview style questions.
No different than a woman saying "So what do you do for a living?" (I want to calculate what your salary is)
A lady can instead ask "whats your credit score"?
Or as she is saying, both can avoid the interview and get to know each other by being around each other and see where things go.
XD what do you mean? Women love these questions, they ask them all the time on dates! Like when a girl asks how much you make, or what kind of job you have, she's interviewing you to be her sugar daddy.
No, a woman asking “what do you do for a living?” Is the EQUIVALENT of a man not even considering a woman from a distance if she isn’t thin, attractive, and sexy. I have fallen in love and dated men that would not be considered attractive by social standards but because I loved who they were on the inside. What made me give him a chance was that he had his crap together and had a good job. Women go for men who have good careers, men go for women’s physical appearance when they decide to date someone. It’s called biology. Both sides get resentful about it. But it’s true. A man asking a woman what her effing value is for HIM? Well unless he’s ready and eager to ALSO offer up how he can be of better value than another man with a good job, then he’s just a bitter, arrogant ass.
@sadiefluff Tell it, girl
@sadiefluff alright, so you're saying men should ONLY value a woman for her appearance?
@sadiefluff in that case I want things to go back to the way they were, women should be forced to be dependent on men, that way we can marry a beautiful woman and not worry about her leaving and taking half our stuff. I want to have a beautiful wife who can't divorce me or say no to me when I want sex.
Tbh I'm being sarcastic, this is the world you advocate for when you say that it's biology though, you're saying we shouldn't make an effort to change, we should just accept that men only care about appearance and women only care about money.
@devilman666 Your first paragraph is 100% true, at least to me, in my culture. Yes, we are very traditional. We are not to be all concerned about money, the men are not to be only concerned about looks, but as for the principle of what your first paragraph implies - the woman being submissive to the man that way in marriage? YES!
@devilman666 no, that’s not what I’m saying, I’m simply pointing out that that is the actual EQUIVALENT to a woman caring about how much a guy makes. I’m not saying any of this is modern or acceptable, I’m just simply responding to guys who are making the argument that this is what gives them the right to ask their dates this question. If all things are fair and equal, then shouldn’t the man ALSO need to answer this question? They’re two human beings on a date. They could both have equally lucrative careers, he’ll the GIRL could be making more than him! Fancy that concept! So for a man to just out right ask the woman such an incredibly condescending question... seriously.
Um, not to shock you or anything buddy, but if I ask that question or if HE asks ME (yeah guys do it too! Welcome to the modern era!) I’m actually just trying to get to know him and what he’s passionate about or merely what he’s chosen in his life for a career or not chosen, it just tells you more about the person, that is really ALL IT IS for MOST women (maybe not all of us) but MOST. Just like asking a woman what SHE does for a living, it doesn’t mean they are there to bleed you for every penny down the road or use you for your damn money. FRANKLY I’d ACTUALLY be put off by a guy if he had some high paying job that indicated that perhaps we had NOTHING in common... Believe it or not, which I’m guessing you won’t, (or any of the other seriously insecure women hating men who have commented positive to your stupid question) NOT ALL WOMEN ARE AFTER YOU FOR YOUR MONEY. 🤯
That's not a question you should ask someone online or over the phone. That's a face to face question for a serious conversation, and you probably shouldn't lead with that. If that's something that you genuinely want to know the answer to, I think it should be asked after you meet and get to know each other a bit.
Mr. O has excellent insight, as usual.
In my rants, I have pointed out that foreign-born East Asians and Latinas still possess the traditional qualities men actually want. I brought a Philippine woman to the USA and married her. To possible detractors, she is about my age and lived on her own before coming here. I feel like I'm cheating fate every day.
and the NUMBER ONE question every male dreads: does my ass look fat in these jeans?
doesn't matter our answer, you use it to critisize us anyway because its wrong.
yes we know you butt looks fat but we ain't gonna point it out because we care about your feelings too.
This is a really interesting take and I like it, but Darius in the Video could've been way more Respectful talking about women regardless of if he was saying facts or not, you simply don't talk in a biased way and expect people to hear you out, He sounded like he has experience but he probably got this as a bright idea or copied it from somewhere...
Women dont have anything to offer. They are in fact extremely detrimental to you life as a man.
This is why women are terrified of sex dolls / robots and are actively campaigning to ban them. They can literally be replaced with an inanimate object.
The only thing besides sex they can offer is children, but with the laws bieng what they are you are far more likely to lose your children in a divorce than to be a part of thier lives.
There are very clear reasons that aren't popular or comfortable for they that are like this.
The best thing is to which them good luck with someone that's into someone like her.
That will piss her off really bad on the inside unless she suffers from to much narcissism.
Usually immatur female's get triggered by this question. especially if she tries to make you to show what you have to bring to the table. even if it's just in her mind.