Why it's hard for me to put my trust into people

[Paolaa988]

Trust is a big thing for me. Many people have backstabbed me, lied to me, or betrayed me in some way to an extent and i felt stupid and foolish as a teen girl thinking some of these people cared about me or would stick around which they didn't. I felt naive as i thought if i continued to give them chances, they'd become better or at least feel empathy for hurting me but i was clearly wrong. I learned not everyone cares, people are fake, and not everything is easy. I had some good and bad experiences. When i was in middle school i stumbled upon some that changed my life forever and I'm not ashamed to be myself now and I'm stronger than ever i gained myself back. What i mean by i gained myself back and those experiences is that i found the passion and desire that i truly want and deserve in my life. It sounds crazy, it sounds maybe wrong to some people, but id do it all over again because what i shared with this other person is unlike anything i have felt or have yet to feel in the near future. I want the passion, trust, intensity, and flame all into one and its 2020 yes but i wanna live it up like its 2013 and all i have is these ripped pages from my diary yes but i have my heart and desires all wrapped into one and im keeping my heart vulnerable and guarded.

[Alyssa11]

Admirable.

I would say that one of the things I learned over the years was to trust my gut rather than anybody else. I don't trust people - or rather, I don't hand them anything anymore. Like you, I've been betrayed and hurt in the worst ways. But on the flip side to that, I've also had people stand by me and remain loyal through thick and that's what I am choosing to focus on, because I want to have intimate and close-knitted relationships in my life. Without them, I feel lonely. I've learned to go on and maintain these kinds of relationships by ultimately just trusting myself and trusting my gut. Nobody's got you like you've got you. And I don't expect anybody to pick up anything for me. I have myself and I am grateful for the people who stick by me.

When it comes to romantic relationships, I've been hurt in the worst ways possible. But I've also hurt people in the past. We aren't perfect beings. We make mistakes. I know I've made mistakes and I sincerely regret it; I've tried to make amends and apologise to everybody from my past that I might have hurt. I think when I meet the right person who compliments my values, then it'll start making sense and I'll start trusting again.

[midnightmoon05]

Good job.

[Alyssa11]

@midnightmoon05 Thanks

[Elsa143]

Yes you exactly described my experience. :( even my mom doesn't love me because she's narcissistic and toxic.
I don't know but I wanna be cold hearted forever and
i feel like an alien species because all the friends or human i met eventually forgot me, gaslighted me, disappeared in my darkest times and only talked to me whenever they needed something. Don't get me started on relationships. They took advantage of my big heart to get what they wanted but not anymore because I recognized them.

[FatherJack]

Understandable , because most people are takers , users & self serving / absorbed. I am glad I am self reliant & have little need for people , I am not fond of people in general... give me ferrets & dogs over people anytime !!

[OddBeMe]

I can relate. But I think because I’m compulsive about some things, I feel people betray me when really they just didn’t care as much.

[dezzydoodles]

I suffer from the same thing i give chances over and over again hoping they would change but i soon realized it does the opposite. It shows you dont care and u are gonna ignore it but i also learned people dont change they just reveal who they are. people constantly backstab me talk about me behind my back and make fun of me. and allow others to bully and pick on me. or make promises and then break them and have every excuse in the world. when it comes to relationships I've never dated anyone bc guys all tell me im ugly or not good enough or im not their type. i am 18 with still no boyfriend, but the ones who do "like" me only want sex from me bc im still a virgin so when they say they like me i immediaetly shut it down and push them away. and when it comes to friends, as soon as i see things i dont like i immediately stop being their friends.

[Paulychicago10]

Om the same way. People used me because of my helpful heart. Now I just feel like I need to care for numero uno.

[Tiffanyloves2swallow]

im the same way, the only ones i trust nowadays is me myself and i and my boyfriend cuz we are always gonna look out for each other

[Liam_Hayden]

It is wise to test people to see if they are trustworthy.

[KrakenAttackin]

"Be careful who you trust, the devil was once an angel".

[Whatever919]

You are a good girl they are bad people you have the right to be careful but there is good people out there as well

[Marcelo90]

it depend on what level you trust them, and trust should be earned, they have to earn your trust.

[Julietchicago]

Because most of them want to kill you

[Pulseofsulfur]

Because people equal shit.

[Don-__-Don]

You litteraly answered your own question here.

[rp52077]

my brother & sister treat me like shit

[pizzalovershouse]

Usely cuz of being used