I often feel bruised and rejected by people I thought were my friends. Usually it's females, because men are usually more down to earth and willing to talk about what's on their minds whereas women will go AWOL and play their cards close to their chest (if you're an exception, you're the best!). I often get hurt in this way, and I'm trying to build a house of community and friendship and with someone someday a relationship and family. I'm trying to build my house a city on a solid foundation and if I make good faith efforts to attract quality people in my life and get things set up and in flow, and then I get ghosted, once or twice is fine but I hate it because I only go after quality people. Am I too nice, too whatever? I dunno maybe, but they liked me before. Feedback at least would be nice so I could learn or course correct. Anyway I have a discovery that does give me some that I'm trying to cement in my brain (that's why I'm sharing). It doesn't make things easier, but it's important to know
The traditional view is women stop responding because they lose interest, because you did something wrong or aren't good enough, which slowly builds cynicism or erodes confidence. Not good. by the way this stuff happens virtually exclusively over phones, texting and calling. Way way back it had to be letter, messenger or self. Then phones were invented which created phone tag, which added to mind-f** neuroticism potential. None of this was part of our EEA (environment of evolutionary adaptedness)-> i.e. it's not in our genes to deal with. Then came caller ID, answering machines and now Mobile phones with all their craziness.
Anyway I was reminded today that women will also avoid you if they're ashamed of where they're at, like they lost a job. They have pride so they go offline but are not ghosting you, which still gives you the chance to go unhinged. Pride makes them avoid. Why I dunno. I'm the opposite, I reach out and connect if people let me