Just some thoughts.... So recently a site contributor posted this picture. It shows a mother holding a sign that says, "Teach your sons that cooking & cleaning are basic life skills NOT gender roles."
My response was: "guys were already expected to know 100 times more life skills than woman. That was true 100 years ago and it's true today. She'd be better off teaching her daughters how to repair cars, fix plumbing, home construction and so on. That daughter is going to need it if she can't find a man and she's too broke to pay for help. Oh, and the best cooks in the world are men so I don't think guys need to worry."
Haven't men been cooking and cleaning for eons? I mean when we aren't too busy fixing cars, repairing the house, winding down from a long day at work and so on? Men did not change. Women changed. Women decided to get careers and get stressed out at work so now they come home and... hey, there isn't a lot of time to cook and it's not fun to cook. Us men understand since when we're single a lot of us do cook for ourselves. And any of us even did learn to cook very young because it was the only way to even get what we wanted to eat at certain times. One of the points of being in a serious relationship is to have teamwork. Now instead of just being responsible for his own car, maybe he's responsible for her car too. But she's going to claim that's a gender role, while cooking is a "non gender" role.
When a woman says "cooking and cleaning are... not gender roles" what she's really saying is that she wants men to do all of these "non gender roles" and free up her time. She's saying that the team work and balancing that our ancestors did don't work for her so we need to re-balance things in a way that makes her life easier. In On Needing Women & Love in the Modern Age I wrote, "Each year, man's responsibilities in relationships increase while women's decrease."
The way she tries to get what she wants is by pretending that a man is not giving enough already.
If a man has to repair cars, fix plumbing, do home security, construction and so on by himself, why is she complaining about cooking & cleaning? Especially since most men already DO contribute something to that stuff, they just don't see it as their primary responsibility if there's somebody else on the TEAM with FREE TIME created by him doing all the other stuff. Do the math on all of the stuff added to his plate and all of the stuff she wants removed from her plate and suddenly we're not talking about team work. We're talking about a guy being a slave to a lazy/entitled woman who is too good to do certain chores.
I do encourage men to have as many life skills as possible but I totally reject the idea that a traditional man should believe that he has to pick up the slack for a woman and do everything she doesn't feel like doing. Where does it end? What would happen if he ignored his own responsibilities because he doesn't feel like doing those things? Is she going to pick up the slack? No. She's going to pick up a new man. If a man or woman is unable to be a good team player then maybe they aren't worthy of being in a real relationship.
Some women like to talk about the money they bring to a relationship. Let's play that game. If we only look at the protection a male gives his woman from being harmed physically, in and of itself, that's worth $75-$150/hour times 24 hours/day times 365 days = $657k to $1.3 million dollars per year. How many dinners would it take to equal $657k? That's like 180 years worth of $10 dinners. Okay, she can say, "I will just call 911". Not the same thing since cops 1.) don't have to protect you and 2.) often take 30 minutes or longer to show up, 3.) often don't stop bad things from happening and just write reports, collect evidence, after bad things happen.
If she says a certain man doesn't know anything about cars, okay. He's still expected to be her "shoulder to cry on" therapist. A professional therapist is like $300-$400/hour. But let's pretend that him being her shoulder is a non gender role even tho women absolutely aren't interested in being a man's shoulder to cry on --- or they only think he should get 1% of the shoulder she gets.
I could go on and on -- the fact is that men bring a lot of value to the relationship. Don't act like he needs to become Gordon Ramsay *and* cook half or all of the time to prove something.
Being a good team player doesn't mean you switch roles (from say quaterback to lineman) without a *very* good reason like some kind of an emergency. You don't do it just because the other person feels like having you do twice the work you normally do.But let these feminists tell it... if a man spends 3 hours working on a car that is equivalent to her spending 2 minutes heating something up in the microwave. Don't be a sucker. These kinds of women are always trying to negotiate you into slavery by convincing you that what you do is worth less than what she does but that's just not the case.