7 Unspoken Reasons Why A Woman Rejects You

[ManOnFire]

Sit tight, we’ve got some things I wanna go over, guys. A little long again, sorry! This list is not going to be the usual reasons we all think of when it comes to being rejected: she's already taken, you're not attractive, not having the financial status she wants, if you have body odor, if she can tell you’re just looking for sex, you not being “interesting,” etc. We'll dive more into the darker sides of why women reject some men, reasons people don’t talk about too much. I can say that a few of these scenarios have happened to me too in the past, and there is no greater teacher than experience. I might even go as far as to say that what I outline here may possibly be even more important to be aware of than all the other common reasons we hear on the daily. So get ready.

You are connected to someone connected to her

Women tend to do things in groups, particularly when it comes to social situations/having circles. And they all know about the people who know about each other, and they talk about them. You may or may not be aware of the fact that you are one of them, but if you pay attention to the details, you can figure it out. Whenever I’m in situations like these with groups of women, I always pretend I don’t know anything that’s going on, while I am actually taking mental notes very carefully and connecting the dots.

So you might be a guy who knows someone, who also is connected to her, and you may not even know it, but they do. It could be any kind of connection: maybe you’re the ex of one of her girlfriends, or you’re the brother or relative of someone she knows and now dislikes that person, or you’re the co-worker of someone she’s friends with who has issues with you even though you might not even be a bad person. It could be anything, as just examples.

So one of these scenarios can be a very real reason for why she rejects you if you really try to approach her, having nothing to do with your looks, money, etc. but because you having some kind of prickly association with someone else connected to her is “awkward.” She might even be really missing out on you being a great guy too, but because of her associations and how they know you, that’s going to be her most important reason for turning you down. In a situation like this, you actually want to be very glad that happened because it will tell you about her character.

She heard something about you

Similar to what I just described is also this type of situation, and is a very common one. Sometimes women will turn you down or blow you off because someone told her something about you to deter her. Keep in mind that what is being said about you might not even be true, or entirely accurate, but if a woman is one who is easily swayed by others’ words or “information” then she is going to go with that instead of hearing what’s what from you personally. Often times what women talk about concerning other people is usually not accurate. There may be elements of truth to some of what they “know” but it often is not the full truth. I can’t tell you how many times a woman has told me something they heard about me from someone else that was either the farthest thing from the truth, or leaving out the real details of the situation.

Now, if she heard something about you that really is true, like maybe you sexually harassed someone, you slept with a bunch of girls, you did something criminal, etc. then I’m sorry about that and hopefully you learned from those mistakes enough to change and be better, but for right now they are still probably going to be reasons a woman rejects you. Some women nowadays literally do spend money doing background checks on some guys who might be potential dates, looking for signs of crime or sexual offense that will be in the public records but don’t even come close to revealing things about a guy that you aren’t even going to find online like his secret pedophilia, beastiality, cross dressing, schizophrenia, etc.

But if your situation is like the former of what I described, then again, you want to be glad that nothing is going to happen with a woman who will easily listen to things said about you that make up her mind.

You look like her rapist, or someone else who gave her trauma

I am literally not joking when I say this, and this is definitely one you should think about from time to time. Sometimes a woman will turn you down because you might look like or remind her in some way of a guy who sexually assaulted her, or some other guy she had a particularly bad experience with. Of course, this guy will 9 times out of 10 be someone you know/knew absolutely nothing about, and is not your fault at all. She has some kind of trauma in her past with that person that is going to stand in her way until she resolves it with counseling or some other kind of outlet to help.

I remember talking to a girl on an app a few years ago who I thought was cute after we swapped photos. She said she wasn’t interested in me “like that” after I wanted to know why, and she was honest and said partly it was because I looked like an old co-worker she had who used to beat her down mentally on the job. Hearing this was very interesting because I’d never met a female who turned me down for something like that. Needless to say after we talked more about it she and I became friends and we still talk every once in a while.

You are connected to someone she slept with

This is a big one, guys. You may have experienced this. I have. In some instances a woman will turn you down because you are associated with someone she had sex with, and for her to date you would be “awkward.” Maybe she hooked up with your dad or your brother and you knew absolutely nothing about it. Maybe she had sex with your supervisor. Or roommate. Or your sister’s boyfriend/husband. I've even heard women call in anonymously to a radio show detailing their own stories. Believe it or not, plenty of women have opted out of giving you a shot at a date because she slept with someone you are connected to, and the other person knows they could tell you about it, so she would rather try to avoid that than go through with going out with you. Especially if the sex was with someone close to you who is already in a relationship or married.

Always remember - and I’ve said this on GaG before - a good deal of what today’s women do, how they interact with you, or make decisions about you can often be due to their sexual activities. And being rejected by a woman in this scenario is another blessing in disguise. You definitely wouldn’t want somebody like that.

Their friends influence them

Another one that is similar to the first two I mentioned. There are situations where a woman rejects you because her friends influence her to, because they will tell her all kinds of things after judging you by your cover: he’s not attractive, he works such and such kind of job, don’t date him because your ex might come back, you can do better than him, ‘do you really want to date a black/white/Asian/Hispanic/etc. guy?’, he’s not tall, etc.

A woman’s friends will also sometimes try to influence her not to give you a shot because one of them actually wants you, or because they’re jealous that the woman is getting some attention from a guy (you) and they aren’t, especially if they’re single and still trying to get over their own exes, or are single but not working on themselves and are overweight or not special in character. So they want to encourage her to turn you down so they can all be in the same boat together. If this happens, you don’t want it anyway. You want a woman who can make her own decisions and not have her girlfriends be her blood and organs.

Their father or whole family wouldn’t approve because of your race

Another unspoken reason some women reject you is sadly because they know their dad or even their family wouldn’t like you simply because of your race. It does happen, and it’s not your fault at all or even hers. The woman might not even tell you about this, but of course she knows. She might really want to date you but doesn’t have the courage to because she fears being hated or ostracized by her dad or her family.

In cases like these, I will say that it’s honestly better to be rejected early on than to really start getting romantically involved with her, when she already knows her dad/family won’t approve but she still won’t have the courage to bring you home and will later break up with you because of this. I was in a relationship with a Korean girl some time back, who’s father did not want her being with a black man - or anyone who wasn’t Korean for that matter. This girl never wanted me to meet him and was afraid of him, and what I’m pretty sure was part of why she broke up with me.

They’re simply afraid

Just like you have men out there who are scared to ask a woman out, there are women who are scared of being asked out. Some will actually reject you because they are afraid of being approached, and not even because they feel that you’re dangerous or threatening. But simply because they really don’t know how to handle it. Maybe it doesn’t happen very often for them, or it happens a lot, but either way being approached is intimidating for them, and they are underdeveloped in knowing how to go about it. They fail to understand that when a guy likes a woman, he is usually going to make a move at some point, but these types of women just don’t know how to deal with it.

So they will get in their feelings and do crazy things like say yes to you one minute, but totally flake on you the next. Or the next time they see you they do a complete 360 and ignore you or act like they don’t want to talk to you anymore, making it as if you're a bad person for wanting to go out with her, which they know is very wrong.

Just like you have men who are bad at handling rejection, you have an enormous number of women who lack maturity and grace in turning a guy down. And just like how we try to advise men on handling rejection, we as a society need to teach more women how to be graceful and have better social skills in turning a guy down, instead of sympathizing with and validating their poor behavior and response to men who approach, especially with men who are not even being "creepy" about it.

I think these are actually some of the worst women to deal with, but I can say that when I see this behavior it certainly helps me know who they are and that I probably saved myself from a potentially bad relationship, because if a woman behaves poorly in turning you down, she probably will do poorly in other areas of an actual relationship.

Women rejecting you actually gives you a lot of information about them

Believe it or not, women rejecting you can tell you a great deal about them depending on how they do it. I would say this is a blessing. How they may reject you lets you know they probably aren’t the kind of woman you would want to date anyway, but we can't find this out without trying.

I don’t want to say that a woman’s reasons for rejecting someone is always bad, certainly not. But there are definitely times where her reasons for it are truly wrong, and these reasons and even the way she rejects you can give you valuable information about herself and her character that you can appreciate and learn from in picking women you approach in the future.

#rejection

[SkyCastle90]

100% true.

Had a guy in my grade ask me out during high school and I rejected him instantly. He looked so surprised, but I felt going into detail was unnecessary and he didn't ask why; so we left it at "no" and went about our business.

I found this so weird because:

1. He and I never once hung out or had a conversation. He would make fun of me from a far, so I knew of his existence, but that's about it.

2. He hung out with bullies, and would bully others. I've witnessed his behavior numerous times and sometimes it was directed toward me, but I've always ignored him and walked away.

3. I heard rumors of how awful of a boyfriend he was from female peers I've seen him with.

It's even weirder due to the fact he has what most men want; height (maybe 6'3" or so, not sure but he towered over me at 5'6"), athletic, no blemishes, etc. He was a cute guy. However, due to what I've witness and heard, he was fool's gold and nothing more; I refused to be treated like shit from a guy I don't even like just because he's tall and handsome.

Please add in, "She saw how you treat others." If I never saw him bullying other students and myself, I may have disregarded the rumors and got to know him better, but in this situation the rumors added to what I've already seen from him.

[ManOnFire]

Good stuff. This would be a situation where I would say you rejecting him made perfect sense. You didn't just hear things about him, but you also saw them and even experienced some of them. I actually did want to add a few more but the Take was already long enough.

[ObscuredBeyond]

See, I got annoyed back then when I would get turned down, especially if they were rude about it, if no explanation were given.

They would make it worse by having someone else white knight for them and blab: "She doesn't owe you an explanation!"

Well, maybe not for the rejection itself; but definitely for the rudeness! But noooo... to the white knights, even that didn't require an explanation, nor an apology!

Of course, when they did give a reason, it was usually some insanely petty BS. Blessing in disguise. I wouldn't take those slags back today if they paid off all my remaining loans!

[Tim2nice]

You don’t need a reason to reject someone but you had a valid one here anyway

[maverick2022]

You're right especially about the ones of her friends rejecting you or reminding her of someone she has a bad memory of. It happens more often than guys think because girls are much more influenced by the opinion of their peers and guys don't usually consider how a girl's past trauma taints her perspective. One that I think you left out is the girl believes she can do better. I say believe because often times it's just a delusion caused by having tons of guys complimenting her, hitting on her or trying to have sex with her. It's almost guaranteed if she's above average looking, even girls that are not very attractive get lots of guys complimenting and hitting on her nowdays. There are different reasons for this but the result is arrogance and conceitedness in the female specimen.

[ManOnFire]

Yes, great point! I should've added that.

[Moose304]

Let's flip this around a bit! Only an imbecile will get serious with a female without getting to know her friends! These friends over the years will have MORE influence over her than you will ever have!

[maverick2022]

You're old enough to realize that, young guys aren't necessarily considering that. Women are smart though, they take a guy's friends into consideration and sometimes try to drive them off in order to eliminate any influence they may have. Some women are very manipulative and creative about tactics they use to increase their influence over a man.

[Moose304]

One thing I have noticed is how females mimic each other. If a female friend gets divorced within 18 months another in that friend group will as well. If a female in that friend group is cheating you can almost bank on the fact at least one of that group is also cheating. This friend dynamic is not something a young man can see clearly. This is something like touching a hot stove! After a couple of times getting burned you see that stove is hot!

[Moose304]

Oh, I left out something else that is interesting. I have not been able to confirm it, but I have heard through many sources that if a group of females lives close together their menstrual cycles will sync up. This dynamic has bemused me since I first heard it!

[maverick2022]

I heard the thing about menstrual cycles syncing too. I just looked it up and said it was a myth created by women. The fact so many women believe it is proof that they know how much influence they have over each other, even subconsciously.

[geonator]

I do agree that most of the time a rejection is because the person isn't interested (often as a result of one of the things you're mentioning). I disagree with people who more or less claim that if someone's into you, that necessarily means they'll date you. I believe there are plenty of cases in which you can be very attracted to someone but be wise enough to recognize if dating them is a bad idea.

Like if all they say is "I'm very busy", and that's it, then I would say they probably just aren't interested. However, it may (or may not) be a different story if they provide a bunch of details specific to their situation that show that they have a lot of higher priorities and it's not wise to date at this time, and their explanation is coherent and consistent with things they've already said. And some people are afraid of intimacy or healing from prior relationships.

So yes, if they reject you, you should move on regardless, and chances are they weren't interested. But I do challenge the idea that rejection always means lack of interest

[ManOnFire]

"And some people are afraid of intimacy or healing from prior relationships." - Big factor too, yes.

[Heartache0405]

What about if a girl comes to you through a dating app and asks if you wanted to exchange contact info and you agree to but they don’t contact you for days in a row. After claiming that they think of you in general. Would you assume they’re not interested? Or is that a different case? @geonator

[geonator]

@Heartache0405 that depends. Some women just want attention on dating apps and lie about what they're looking for, or in some cases they may have found someone else and decided to talk to them instead. Happens to me a lot

[Heartache0405]

That’s what I’m thinking happened... doesn’t surprise me though. It’s probably for the best. @geonator

[Heartache0405]

She did delete her account of the dating app after we exchanged contact info though, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t create a new account or met someone in person. They probably always had someone in person they were seeing anyway

[Moose304]

I wasn't going to comment, but after skimming the post I decided to. Oh, I remember some college-age females who could afford to be selective and were. After I finished at Georgia Tech I was working near Athens Georgia and met up with a very beautiful gal attending the University of Georgia, she was a friend of a friend. I bought her a drink and watched her pour it out and went back to her conversation. I was young and stupid but just let it go and went on with my life. Fast forward about 25 years and I happened across her sitting in a Walmart snack bar. She called out to me by name and it took me several minutes to place her face. I waved at her and got my coffee and was walking out when she stopped me. I had heard already how her "Chad" had pumped and dumped her with two children. I simply asked what do you want? I said it in a mean condescending way too. She got the message and stopped speaking to me. The moral of this entire article is to enjoy life when you are in your prime ladies. be selective all you want! Just know those bridges you are burning today will not be available to you 20+ years into the future!

[desidoll]

My reasons are usually their personality, a little of their look and religion. I don’t think my standards are unrealistic. I have dated some guys who were not considered attractive by many women out there. As long as he is on the “okayish” side, I’d be fine with it. First impression is very important to me. He made mistakes, he is done. That’s me. Nothing he can do to change that. I have never noticed this about myself till my sister pointed it out. I remember going out with this guy who didn’t tell me that he wanted me to join him chilling with his friends after our date. He only mentioned it at the restaurant. I am a very flexible and easy going person so I joined them. The next day, he texted me asking if I could share part of the bill because that night, they spent a lot for the drinks. I was shocked that he even had the gut to do that, as that was just our first meet up. Plus, It was not my plan to chill with his friends. I told him right away, that I won’t give any single penny because I don’t have reason to do so. It took him a month to apologise where he tried to “fix” what he did by offering to take me out to a fancy dinner date, but I told him directly that I don’t date cheap guys and he is out.

Another guy I went on date with was pushy and obsessed with being in a relationship when we didn’t even know each other yet. The rest was just weird in person, some lied about their background, irritating or I didn’t like their look. Many combinations.

[ManOnFire]

"First impression is very important to me. He made mistakes, he is done. That’s me. Nothing he can do to change that."
- I'm sort of the same. I can be a hard judge of character because I pay attention to a woman’s words and how she acts with me vs. someone else. I try to be a little more open minded but I just can't take bullshit. There are 2 women I know who I had to be honest with them and tell them how they were bullshitting. Both denied it, and I knew that, but one thing is for sure: they won't try that with me again.

[desidoll]

Exactly! Once you called them out for their little games, they will shut off immediately. I truly believe that there are people out there who tolerate their bullshits hence they use the same tactics to other people. This applies to both genders of course.

[KrakenAttackin]

@desidoll You are 32 and engaged, an honest buzzer beater here.

[ObscuredBeyond]

See, rejection is one thing. Even if the reason is something stupid, petty, asinine, and says a lot bad about her character. That's fine. The reason I always demanded an explanation back in high school, was because those girls were usually needlessly nasty about serving up rejections.

Pea brains said I "couldn't take rejection." Rejection itself was fine. It's those who insist on being complete assholes about it, that I have a problem with.

In the past, men used to whip out pistols and duel to the death over this nonsense. Now, women can snipe men with their crap, like absolute cowards, and are expected to get away with it.

These days, I don't even care one way or the other about those skanks.

What I do wonder about, is if those who lectured me based on their failed comprehension of a situation back then, the misguided elders of lore, have learned anything since then. Or if they still show the same lapses in judgment toward today's teens that they showed to me back then.

Rejection by a woman who isn't worth the dirt on my shoe, is of no significance. But betrayal of trust by an authority figure? That stays with me a lot longer.

[Qmt8112]

Everything is true except the being afraid of being asked out. I would only feel that way if I could tell if a guy was into me and he wasn't my type so I would avoid him so he can't ask me out.

Another thing that is true for me, and not sure if all women are like this. But, it's just the vibe a woman gets from a guy. The vibe is usually like cocky, obnoxious, a weirdo, and/or anything negative.

Sometimes even positive like you feel you aren't good enough for the guy because of baggage.

But for the negatives, I am super observant and I see and feel like the smallest things when interacting or observing someone. It's a vibe you get, it's not a good one or it's like alarms blaring that something is not right about this guy.

Another thing is how he's dressed. The way he's dressed and the way he carries himself are really important. For example, I wouldn't go for a vagabond. Those are really easy to spot. Which are usually like bad boys. They can be trashy. I don't know if you know what I am talking. You can just tell that guy has zero respect for women.

[Qmt8112]

Another thing for me, I know not all women feel this way, but if he cusses a lot. I personally don't cuss that often and I think a guy who drops the f word in every sentence is trashy. If I just met a guy and he started talking like that right away, I wouldn't be interested anymore. I only met one guy who cussed and then turned to me and apologized. I appreciated that a lot. I was even surprised like woah look at this guy his parents raised him right lol. I know it's old school but I'm into that. When a guy is respectful in that way where he refrains from talking like a truck driver in front of me. If it didn't bother me, I would tell him. But it's nice of him to he considerate enough to not do it.

[Stephen_77]

Well women like you are too much of a headache anyway, so men would be better off without you.

[Anonymous]

100% on point!

I gave a man a chance recently. I went on a date with him recently. He had asked me out while I was at work. Complete stranger. He would be considered a “2” honestly. But I was tired of being so superficial and wanted to see if I could connect in a different way. I actually liked how striaght-forward and fearless he was at doing it and approaching me.

I gave him my number and we texted. During our meetup date. I ended up realizing that he’s not “23 years old” because his hands didn't look like a 23-year old hands.
And not only that, but he SMELLED! He smelled like pure armpits and didn’t dress for a date. He just wore a hoodie. But the worst part seriously was the smelllll 🫣.
How can someone ask you on a date and show up like that!

Not only that , but during a phone call I had with him prior he was hinting at wanting to sleep with me in the most awkward way and cringe 😬 type way I’ve ever experienced!
It was almost rapie-like. 😬 He said something about wanting to “hump” me in the weirdest way ever at all. And maybe a moment later he got upset that I said no to giving him my personal address.

(So men.. Just know that this is what we deal with).

I rejected him by not talking to him the next day. And blocking his number.

[Zolly99999]

Omg really... He smelled... Who does this?

[standardguy]

Yes there are stupid men, and such females exist too. But the majority isn't like them.

[ManOnFire]

Wow. Damn.

[Vegasrunner]

@emyywolf I read your post and found it interesting. Is it possible that you specifically choose this man so you could validate to yourself that you aren't superficial. @ManOnFire

[Imsmurter1]

"(So men.. Just know that this is what we deal with)"
that you choose to deal with... your own choice...

[Opinion Owner]

@Imsmurter1
I didn’t tell him to not smell good?
Wtf…

[Opinion Owner]

@Vegasrunner
I didn’t choose him , he chose me out of my looks.
He literally told me that !
Several times of course, because he was an awkward nerd.

[Imsmurter1]

@emyywolf you’re telling all men what women have to deal with by noting the example of one particularly deranged retarded idiot. That’s not a fair representation of men or most men or many men.

[Vegasrunner]

@emyywolf Huh! didn't you said "I was tired of being superficial and wanted to see if I could connect in a different way"?

[lilyanony1]

Reason why I've rejected a guy:
I don't find him attractive.
He came with "lyrics or chat up lines"
He was aggressive.
He looked so rough I judged being caught talking to him.
He had erectile dysfunction and it didn't improve.
He followed me around like my shadow.
He told me he wanted some "fun!"
He had really bad breath!
He was so short!
Not only did he talk to me in a highly sexual way, but he touched me! (we just met in the street)

Judge me all you want. I'm not ashamed!

[ManOnFire]

These reasons are definitely fair. The 'simps' are the ones who follow girls around, yeah.

[lilyanony1]

I really hate these words... Simps or whatever it is. Its like bullying all over again... People are crazy honestly.
Whatever the behaviour is or was I just don't like or have the patience for it!

[ManOnFire]

It's okay, I don't like all those words either but 'simp' did need to be invented lol.

[Stephen_77]

Only desperate men would go for women like you anyway.

[Cathy7734]

I agree with what you wrote and I just wanted to add to it.
Tony Robbins says we all have "stories we are telling ourselves" that influence us. For example, say a woman believes that all the men that are interested in her just want to use her for sex. She has concrete examples of this and her girlfriends agree. So the next guy that expresses an interest in her, guess why she will reject him? Because he is only going to use her for sex.

The reason you get rejected may not have anything to do with you but everything to do with what that person is telling herself. I'm just using an example of a woman because this is what the post is about. But it applies to men too.

[Neilbud]

Interesting point

[ManOnFire]

@Cathy7734 I think this is true, but in a funny way it equates to "generalizing." Now, I personally am not bothered by women's generalizations of men, because some of them are true and I agree with them, however when men feel the same way with their own experiences of being used by women for money, to get over their ex, help her and her kids, etc. and when men feel hurt by that and believe that's all women are interested in him for, women will just try to tell him he's "lumping them all together" or that he's "meeting the wrong women," and they will try to tell him "not all women are like that."

So these men also may feel the way they do because it has everything to do with what that person is telling himself.

[kespethdude]

1. I think that's the female version of the Bro Code, where you do not date anyone who might be going out with one of your bros/sisses.

2. If the statement is true, you are at fault. If it is false, she and her libelous fiends (left the r out intentionally lol) are at fault.

3. Three cases here:

Case 1, you merely resemble someone who did wrong to her, but are not acquainted with the individual - not at fault.
Case 2, You resemble the suspect, and know the suspect - Technically not at fault, but more understandably should avoid her.
Case 3, you ARE the suspect - Do yourself and everyone else a favor, scumbag, and turn yourself in.

4. Same as 3 in all cases.

5. This combines 1 and 2.

6. Run far away. You don't need racist people in your life, period.

7. This one you might be able to convince her, but that's beyond my scope of expertise.

That's my summary of each one. Good take.

[razelove]

I agree with your last point, how you get shot down tells you a lot about whether you possibly missed a chance, or dodged an IED. I've never dived too much into reasons for being shot down before anything starts, because it's irrelevant to me. Dating is 100% a numbers game for guys, how people present themselves is irrelevant, you only have looks to go on, cast your net wide, then pick and choose based on who's interested in you with what gets pulled back in.

People lie, and I'd rather have someone else to comfort me rather than cry alone in the dark like a little bitch going "she could have been the one!" lol. Also it's nice to see women get confused when you shoot them down during the filtering.

[Qdbrown]

This is a funny subject to me. I am old enough now that women chase me. I get social media hits, I have women come out of no where to just small talk. I turn most down. As an old guy, I have options. The table does eventually turn.

And I turn most girls down on looks.

[ManOnFire]

I can say that even in my mid 30s I do experience some of what you detailed from time to time too, yes. I think things do kinda flip for us a little bit as we get older.

[globetrotter22]

I just wish women could think more independently vs. acting hive minded with their friend’s judgment.

Their friends are not always looking out of their best interest. Sometimes they will shoot down a guy because they are secretly jealous. They don’t want to see their friend get a boyfriend and be happy.

[ManOnFire]

Exactly! I hate how women are so hive-minded too. I wish they would learn from us men to have more independent thinking and development.

[Valso]

This reminds me of an old joke about women:
A biker was so righteous and so good person that god decided to grant him a wish.
- What do you desire? State it and I'll give it to you! - god told the biker.
- I want a bridge connecting Europe with America, so that I can visit my relatives there.
- But that's a lot of work! - god said. - Do you have any idea how many trees will have to be cut down for that bridge? And how much manpower will be required to deliver all that steel to the shore?
The biker thought about it seriously for a while then said:
- Then make it so that all men on Earth be able to understand women.
Now it was god's turn to think hard. In a few minutes of thinking god asked the biker:
- How long do you want that bridge to be?

[Seinna]

The first point is a big one... if there's a conflict between her and the people you meet her through it's not likely to work. She might simply not see you as a potential date.

I've met loads of people in my younger years through parties and common friends and while I didn't reject anyone specifically it was obvious who could and couldn't ask someone else out. That's why despite knowing a lot of people it was still easier to get a date with someone completely outside of it. In fact it can get really messy if people know each other because many people will gossip and the group dynamic will change.

It's kind of like starting to date a friend - it will most likely ruin the friendship but if there's other people involved then it will spoil the atmosphere for everyone. I just want to stress out it's something that we feel instinctively and nobody would try to talk us out of it if we both wanted it.

[ManOnFire]

This is why I say groups of female friends are toxic. And they also hinder women's own individual personal growth and development.

[Seinna]

It's not female friends... it's both and more acquaintances than friends. As I said, my friends would never stop me or anyone. Sometimes they were encouraging it if they felt the guys' feelings were honest. Maybe guys are more hot headed and don't think so much about the consequences... but the problem I described is not caused by girls and is not a girls only problem, at least in my case. It might be true that girls just care more about such things but in that situation the guy also wouldn't pursue even if he found someone attractive... yes, guys can also prioritise other things over their dicks. Besides I don't even see it as a problem... sure if you fall in love with someone then absolutely go for it and in that case none of the reasons described would stop the girl from accepting. But if it's just a mild interest then there's many fish in the sea, don't shit where you eat etc just find someone from outside of your social circle and don't stir unnecessary drama unless it's really worth the trouble. Also, to say female group friends are toxic as a rule is stupid. So what are you saying, I should have a male group of friends because having girlfriends hinder men's chances of dating me? Sorry, no. :) Girls are awesome and I feel sorry for anyone who hasn't experienced a true girl friendship. Men don't have a monopoly on that.

[ManOnFire]

@Seinna I'm saying that all female groups of friends - in my opinion - are not as productive as mixed groups. Gossip comes about, they all think for each other and will listen to the other before they hear anyone else, and then of course there's jealousy.

I have one very close female friend, and it most likely will stay that way. And in turn all her friends are us guys. She's a cool girl and she gets stuff.

[Seinna]

Well I'm not a girl who's friends with guys, it's just not my thing. I realise nowadays it seems to be some kind of accomplishment for a woman if she has guys friends - I have one really close one but he's not and was never a part of my group. Other guys were acquaintances I partied with for years and my real friends were always girls. Girls, who helped me through a lot and would do it again in a heart beat. Please don't project your negative experience on all females, girls can be amazing friends too and there can be toxicity in any friend group. Productive? So you're friends with people to use them? Sorry, I just honestly don't care for guys as friends (with that one exception). To me guys are strictly for dating, I don't get close to them otherwise because as friends I just don't find them that interesting. There is a place for all girls friend groups just like for all guys friends group and nobody is trying to take that away from you even though it can be toxic too and I've witnessed it first hand. My friends boyfriend was in an all guys friends group who tried to break him up with his girlfriend because they were all single and unhappy and wanted him on their level :) They used drugs and deception to drive him away and make him spend all his free time with her until he had to cut them off because they were such a bad influence on him. But I'm not claiming all guys are like that because that would be... hmm, stupid?

[ManOnFire]

@Seinna Do women see it more as an accomplishment? Or it's because they simply have a better time with male friends? Cuz that's the general consensus I hear from women.

Women who have all female friends are almost always trouble, and for the reasons I stated before. Also keep in mind I am not the first or last person to say this or have that "experience," nor is it just men who say it.

"Productive? So you're friends with people to use them?" - I have to admit that the way women perceive things is so puzzling to me. They are truly the most selective listeners on the planet. I see no link between productivity and using people. Unless that's how women would see it because that's what they would do? When I say productive I mean our friendship has someone of substance. We can mutually enjoy worthwhile time, activities, etc. Exchange ideas of substance. Have conversations of depth. Do things that are more than just hanging out drinking and whatnot.

[JSmuve]

These are a lot of good examples of where "it's not you, it's me" actually apply!

Honestly, after reading these and the women's responses below, I'm surprised that anybody actually gets into relationships these days. It's crazy some of the reasons a woman would reject a guy.

[ManOnFire]

Definitely true. But also remember that the more society validates and empathizes with women for rejecting guys, the more reasons they come up with. And the more reasons they come up with, the more people will try to teach men foolishness about how to appeal to her.

[JSmuve]

Facts. Society is the biggest enabler.

[ArrowheadSW]

Sometimes it is just simply because she is the type of woman who is looking for a certain "spark" or "vibe".

The most unusual reason why something didn't work out for me was when a friend of mine introduced me to a lady who he somewhat knew. She and I hit it off well when we met, and we planned on doing things together, etc. However before anything happened, she told me how disgusted she was with the guy who introduced us. Then she sent me an email saying that she knew I wasn't anything like him, but she had to completely remove herself from his life path... And I never heard from her again. That guy must have really pissed her off! LOL...

[ManOnFire]

There is a case in point of what I was saying. She literally wanted to cut you off just because you were connected to him, even though she really liked you at first. She lost something. Not you.

[Guccigabbana18]

These are some potential reasons, good take. But my no.1 reason I reject a guy is simply because I'm not attracted to either his looks or his personality. That's the reason about 85% of the time. It doesn't mean he isn't great, just not my type

[maverick2022]

Wow 85% of men don't meet your standards for looks or personality? That's quite a slim picking. Also what do you mean when you say reject? You said no when he asked to be your girlfriend? You said no when he made a sexual move on you? You said no when he made an advance or asked for your phone number? Just wondering because all of these aren't the same thing.

[Guccigabbana18]

@maverick2022 what? I said 80% of the time, when I reject someone it’s because of that reason. Which is true. I only date or mess around with people I am attracted to in both looks and personality. I think maybe you misinterpreted a little… And it’s usually looks/how they come across for getting my number, and personality for asking me for a relationship.

[Guccigabbana18]

*85 percent of the time

[maverick2022]

Okay just wondering because people take vastly different approaches to dating and you were being kinda vague. I'm the kind of guy that rarely ever rejects girls because I make it clear right away that I'm not interested. If I sense that we are not a good match, I don't even bother conversing with them. If the girl is unattractive, I may be friendly if she's nice but if she becomes overly friendly I will draw the line. I think most girls still expect the man to ask her out instead of the reverse. I also have more stringent requirements for me to ask a girl's number because even if I like her as a friend I don't want her to automatically assume I want to date her. So it's kind of annoying because some guys just ask every other girl her number.

[ManOnFire]

@Guccigabbana18 That's fair. Even for me I actually am not attracted to about 90% of women out there, even the very attractive ones. My reason is that most women just don't have the humility, kindness, and selflessness that I'm looking for in a woman.

[maverick2022]

@ManOnFire Same. I don't get why so many women are like that. It's no small number of them. Maybe guys have their humility forged by pursuing and being rejected whereas women never go through that. Both girls and guys seem to be selfish though. Another point is that women are attracted to less men than the reverse but I have to agree even if they are good looking does not mean their personality is at all attractive. I notice many women nowdays are mean too for some reason.

[ManOnFire]

@maverick2022 They are like that because our modern culture has made it okay for them to be. We're teaching men more and more in these times how to be garbage that will attract cheesy, caterpillar-eyebrow types of women that you see on Instagram and TikTok. Basically people are saying - without actually saying it - being a decent man is boring and hopeless so don't even try it, you should get tattoo sleeves, beards, and be a dick, she'll love you for life!

The meanness you see from women is arrogance, because they are already expecting you to try to hit on them or speak to them period, so these women have trained themselves to wear 'bitch faces' and brush you off, even if you're not even hitting on them, and even if they know that. They just want to act that way because it gives them a sense of power in their ego.

[Guccigabbana18]

That's fair. People can like what they like

[RosalinaH]

Dont fill up your head with useless insecurities, just work on improving yourself and the right women will find you.
Insecurities take up a lot of space in your head and deter you from actually working on yourself... because you convince yourself into thinking "Why even bother trying when nothing will come out of it?"

But only if you try you can ever change your life, worrying about these things is a waste of time... Become the version of you that you can be proud of.

If a woman dumps you for dumb reasons that's her problem and has nothing to do with you.

[Joker_]

good answer

[1-3-2-4]

Oh boy I hardly ever respond to these but yeah I think I'm in the group "She heard something about you"
So you have this guy who is trying to like this girl.. mind you this guy is around 23-24 and the woman he was hanging around was 47.. This guy would be always in her face and bringing food to her at her job and eating right in her face and she was soon to be married (she's married now) So he heard stuff about me and my wife... (divorced now) so this girl whom I've went on a date with it seems (maybe) that he told her some stuff about me to make me look bad to her.. I confronted her about it but she said she doesn't know what I'm talking about.

[ManOnFire]

Hmmmmm. That's odd, yeah.

[Lookingforthetruth]

Women only value 3 qualities in men:

1. Looks (height, face, race)
2. Money
3. Social status (job title, respect/likability among others, social connection)

Each women will value one trait more so than the other and when interacting with them will often interview you like you are applying for a job to fish out number 2 and 3 if you pass the bear minimum of 1. In short, if a woman rejects you it means you didn't reach overall minimum amount of point in these categories for her to give you a chance.

[ManOnFire]

True. Still sad though.

[Seinna]

Not really true... sure all 3 need to be up to a certain standard determined by whatever her own looks, money and social status are. But there's more to attraction than that and usually if they're not extreme will not be a deal breaker with a lot of women on a similar level of attractiveness. Sometimes too handsome, rich or accomplished can be a deterrent - there's nothing worse than a spoiled man. Believe it or not but we actually do have human feelings (we're even known for being emotional!) and care about more than just the material. But, just like guys we also don't want ugly children and we don't want them to starve having someone someone with no ambition for a father.

[NatalieKeller95]

@Seinna what exactly makes ugly children for example?

[Seinna]

@NatalieKeller95 ugly parents