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When a Woman Rejects You:

When a Woman Rejects You:

1 Accept it

In western society at this point in History women are the choosers. They often are rude, hostile or mocking in rejection but some guys cross a line and deserve it. Maybe you didn't, but women are often conditioned to put an advance down HARD so it's understandable. Most women have dealt with unwanted advances before and have developed "policy" answers-(often the same old stock phrases we've all heard too often -especially the "F" word-"friends".) But no one is obligated to be interested so in any event just accept it

2. Accept it with class

Even if she puts you off with unkind behaviors. As long as you've behaved gentlemanly then it make her look bad, not you, and besides, you just got to know her a little better and from what you've just seen would you really want to get involved with her?

3. Reflect

Why did she reject you? Had she indicated interest in you at all before she rejected you? Were you rude? Vulgar? Unconfident? Arrogant? Examine your approach including why you thought she might be receptive prior to the approach. The goal is to recognize what errors you may have made and adjust in the future. See Point #

4. It's a numbers game

Women are the buyers and you are the seller. You have to demonstrate value for her to be interested. Women are hypergamous-they date upwards for greater social status and resources. Consider adjusting your approach-including who you approach. Perhaps you overreach.

5. Shrug it off and continue to approach women

You have to be able to do this. Just because you are embarrassed and your ego is bruised don't quit or you will never find a girl. Every interaction is a learning experience. But you have to get back on the horse after you've been thrown or you never learn to ride. Man up-nothing ventured, nothing gained. "Faint heart never fair lady won".

6. Minimize rejection by only approaching girls who have indicated interest

This is linked to point 3-reflection. This is the most difficult part because women like the idea of "plausible deniability" (so as to say you misinterpreted them if you reject THEM. Ironically, women fear rejection worse than men-they are less used to it because it is incumbent upon the man in almost all societies to make the first move). Anyway, the signals they send are tiny-eye contact, a smile, body positions (mirroring), playing with hair, etc. Without any of these indicators your chance of rejection rises and even with them if she doesn't like your approach or conversation she can deny she was interested.

7. There Might Be Other Reasons

Many women send indicators of interest either consciously or unconsciously without intent to follow through for other reasons. She might be attracted but not accept for other reasons. She may be married, in a complicated relationship, from somewhere else or any one of ten thousand things.

When a Woman Rejects You:
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Anonymous
    Giving a polite "no" rarely works. I nicely told past three guys that "I wasn't interested", it didn't work in any case. One of them rubbed me on the back of my neck without me giving him permission to. Another tried to contact me through the phone at my WORK (creepy). The third guy, even after I told him to stop talking the way he was to me, contined to do it. He wasn't respecting my boundaries. So finally I blocked the first one on Facebook, and told the third that if he didn't put a filter on his mouth, I'd do the same to him. Women are almost always direct with guys about what they want, you guys just don't listen. It's not always the answer you want, and you have to accept it. If not, then she has every right to get rude with you. I might also add if she tells you she just wants to be friends. That's EXACTLY what she means, nothing more. The chances of her changing her mind about wanting to be in a relationship with you are slim to none. Move on, and pursue someone else who's interestd in you.
    Is this still revelant?
  • Y3llow
    Honestly it's not that big of a deal. Just recognize that not everyone is going to be interested in you. Everyone has different types and vibes/connects differently. It's important to recognize that it's not a huge deal to be rejected or if someone says they're not interested. That goes for all genders, not just women. I reject a lot of people and I get rejected a lot. It's part of life so there's not really a need to make it a huge deal. Just thank the person for being honest with you and move on.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guys

  • ManOnFire
    This doesn't help those guys. It entertains women! Because women like that we keep focusing on and validating how much they reject men. A satisfier for their ego.

    Contrary to how the media wants to project it, the vast majority of men can handle rejection even when it hurts, and they move on. But do you know how a woman gets when SHE is rejected? Blames the guy for only caring about "looks." Thinks he was "intimidated" by her so she can feel better about it. Attacks his "standards" as being low.

    Women handle rejection worse than men because they believe it won't ever happen to them.
    Is this still revelant?
  • Bluemax
    Well put. To add to this, I would say that rejecting you and not giving you a chance is actually the compassionate thing to do.

    I do wonder why I haven't been rejected rudely. I keep hearing this "women are often rude and hostile" when rejecting, and yet not a single woman who has rejected me in my adult life has done so rudely or in a hostile manner. Quite the opposite.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Bluemax

      P. S. I love Roy Batty

    • I haven't been rejected rudely either-probably because I am gentlemanly about the matter and that is returned. I wrote this originally for a young friend who needed schoolin' on his approach. Yes, BR was an inspired movie!

    • Boppy

      I'm guessing it's a cultural thing. May differ from state to state, in city or countryside, etc.
      Also, I'm willing to bet that flirting in a bar or at a party will make rude rejections more likely because alcohol usually makes people louder and ruder, in my experience.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

944
  • Cynicaldreamer
    Interesting take! I would love to see the female version of this as well (When a Man Rejects You).
  • ObscuredBeyond
    Being told no is one thing. Being told no when I wasn't even looking/asking, being MeToo'd over it, being sabotaged for a job opportunity over it... that's the sort of BS where I draw the line.

    What happened to me January of this year was completely asinine. I was thinking: "Bitch! This wasn't even about you! It was about a freelance gig to put my graphic design education to good use finally! I didn't even know the guy was also your boss! Why must you do this to me? I'm interested in some other gal!"

    I was interested in that one gal that complained a whole five years prior to that. But when it went nowhere then, I didn't pursue. Still... she acted like not wanting to date me meant I couldn't even do anything nice for her either. And then, I couldn't even do anything nice for anyone else she associated with, because that was somehow a stealth attempt to hit on her...*somehow*.

    Paranoid psycho. Lo and behold, I found out she'd been hospitalized for mental illness many times. So maybe it was for the best I didn't get the freelance gig either.

    Still... would've been nice to make some extra side money by doing what I love.
  • Celtero
    Never approach or proposition women, doing so will only result in pain. It is a rigged game, and women only think of what they can gain from you. You as a person don't matter, what matters is how much money you make, how tall and buff and handsome you are, how experienced you are in bed and how much power you command in social circles. Let these wenches starve to death romantically. Every woman who makes it to her grave unmarried and without children is a victory.
    • I feel the same. I would never cold approach a woman given how their ridiculous their standards are now and how cruel they are with their rejection. I think guys telling others to man up are probably moderately attractive to women and have better success because so. Every rejection takes its toll on your self-esteem (unless you're a psychopath). To say otherwise is delusion. Severely unattractive men (and by "unattractive" I don't mean just looks) have it way worse than normal guys, and a man cannot afford to be rejected hundreds of times in a row. It will destroy him. Men should absolutely not subject themselves to a game that's rigged against them and makes them feel horrendous. It's utterly irrational. It's time to stop telling ourselves that we're not bothered by women being awful to us because we know damn well that we are and it's perfectly reasonable too. The dating game is set up so that a woman gains self esteem and the expense of ours. Why even entertain such a laughably retarded game? Any guy who takes dating seriously and actually derives his self worth from female validation is almost certainly a humongous dunce in my book. Sorry (not sorry).

    • PUA's be like: "Do you have really low sexual market value? Just accept being treated like shit all your life, bro."

    • Juxtapose

      @frostwalrus Nailed it.

  • westwordbound
    Well written take sir. I recommend reading Corey Wayne and his book.

    Rejection is part of life. Two weeks ago I invited a girl over my place for dinner (second date). We had been talking for a month and went on a first date earlier. She brought up meeting again and she agreed to come over.

    Well the night came and she not only didn’t show up but she didn’t even have the common courtesy to say she couldn’t make it. I spent a solid 2 hours preparing dinner, running to the store to get nice wine and getting my place clean.

    I was really pissed. More angry that she didn’t have the courtesy to just take 15 seconds to text me she couldn’t make it vs. not coming over. I ALMOST texted her to confront what she did. But I took a deep breath. A few days later I deleted all her contact info. Never heard from her again.

    10 years ago I would have texted her immediately. But that wouldn’t have solved anything. She doesn’t respect me and it’s better we didn’t hang on anyway. Glad she is gone
  • DWornock
    The best explanation is the statement "Minimize rejection by only approaching girls who have indicated interest." Men should never approach a woman unless she makes the first move by indicating that she may be interested.
    • I disagree with this. I've seen countless examples if a girl getting interested only when a guy approached her and talked to her.

    • DWornock

      @Avicenna Certainly, that happens if a guy has movie-star looks. Also, big girls and middle-age women that almost never get approached are going to be receptive when guy out of her league approaches her.

    • I've done it myself with less than movie star looks abd these were very attractive girls. One caveat here is that these were European women, who are more approachable than US women.

  • cheapshotbob
    i like the reasoning behind this but it still does not explain why women see some guys as
    damaged goods though you did kind if explain the situation but not fully. women need t be more honest instead of using some excuse and see a guy the very next week.

  • MzAsh
    Good points. More men would be wise to deal with rejection in a healthy way.
    • Inbox

      Women too from my experience...

    • So what’s a healthy way to deal with rejection

    • 99% do.

    • Show All
  • RickPen
    I minimize rejection by being extremely selective in approaching, and taking months to discover who the person is. It's a slow method, but I would rather have quality, than quantity of, women in my life.
    • ManOnFire

      Bro, this is exactly how I do it myself. I really take my time to see who I'm working with.

  • Yeah I agree with this for the most part. For an average guy, rejection doesn't really mean much. You win some, you lose some. I personally have too much pride to give some cunt the satisfaction of telling all of her friends about the "thirsty creep" that was hitting on her ever again. If my chance of getting rejected is even 1%, abort mission. For guys like me, I think we'd do better to just only go for women that go for us first.
  • Pretty solid stuff right here.

    Don't wait for anybody and continue the "hunt" for a girlfriend. Or simply join MGTOW and enjoy being single, "the beautiful one" and making more money than you want to expend.
    Victory will be yours!
    • Why would I want to be single?

    • @AJC997 it's your call, really. But when there are no relationship materials to be found, then you have little choice anyway.

  • warrior0345
    So what about if I do t get any indications from women to approach or I’m oblivious at picking up the signs. Ok so I’ll admit I’m not the most confident person and the only time I have known some girls were interested in me was two years ago when I was at a mall and my friend was going dude all these girls are checking you out. When I’m out by myself I don’t pick anything up
    • Belgie

      Then you still have to be the one to make the move and don't sweat it if they say no. As one of his other points says, it's a numbers game. You play often, you will win eventually.

    • I literally can’t pick up flirting signs

    • Like the main reason I don’t approach is I don’t want to play the humiliation game if you can’t read flirting then you have to try to decipher if they were just being nice or not I have had it so much easier say dismissing everything women do as just being nice or friendly because that’s all it is and if you take it any further then what it truly is your seen as creepy

    • Show All
  • StickStickity13
    I've found that girls that are interested will let it be obvious. If she isn't obvious, she doesn't like you.
  • GreatnessBack
    Number 3 is dangerous.
    Sometimes, it's NOTHING a person did wrong. The other person is JUST. NOT. INTERESTED.

    All other stuff is good.
    • I’m pretty sure I had this one I worked with a girl that’s the only reason I started talking to her and we got close anyways she ended up rejecting me even going so far as to tell me that I look better then the guy she really had a crush on. I held on too long cause it really started to get humuliating cause she would tell me her sexual fantasies for him.

    • @warrior0345 I feel you there. Best thing to do is cut that off. Either let her know or cut leave her alone.

    • If you don’t mind can I get your opinion on the entire story cause she did a lot more?

    • Show All
  • ntipp
    It's the worst when you get rejected rudely, it makes you feel like you're worthless.
  • Juxtapose
    I don't deal with this bullshit. If women refuse to approach me (or pay for their own food), then I refuse to approach them. I only deal with adults who are willing to invest as much as I do.
    • I'm getting a kick out of the women downvoting these comments. Such entitled and hypocritical babies. They bitch about old social constructs such as slut shaming and the traditional stay-at-home housewife, but have no qualms whatsoever about constructs that are unfair to men. Progressivism for me and not for thee. When it comes to women, it is ALWAYS about them and never about actual fairness.

    • Crimson811

      @frostwalrus We don't have to be interested in someone just because they're interested in us. Is that not acting "entitled"? You might want to rephrase that!

    • @Crimson811 You're entitled if you expect men to approach to you. If men all the sudden collectively decided they're gonna approach as little as women do, women would get pissed.

    • Show All
  • kanelives
    Great take! I agree with these points, but putting it into practice is extremely difficult. Especially when faced with a trashy past...
  • Black_Dynamite77
    Never happens.
  • brennanhuff
    It's a numbers game, but should every guy just see it that way. Like everybody get;s rejected which is true. But not all guy's are the same. Guy's based on their looks, personality should do better than another based on such things. That's why there's such thing as "game". So if you know you're a good looking and witty, charming, funny person whose good at flirting. Then I can't blame a guy to have the expectation of doing well. Look at it this way. A good basketball player will still lose games right. But because of his talent, he will win more than the average or lesser talented basketball player, right?
  • edjee4
    Rejection stings. But its like most things in life - you have to ask for what you want.
  • yourfavperson
    Wow am i reading a gag take with common sense and logic from a man on this app? The simulation is glitching 😮 im scared. whats going on?
  • Passinggas
    I find this take entertaining because of the intensity to which you suggest one should pursue women, take a slap in the face and continue on to pursue another as if we should be on some mission here. Lmao

    You really just need to relax on this sht and if one wants your ugly ass she will let you know.—Casanova pick up dude. haha

    Why feed their ego with your grief? I think you could have more fun hitting your head with a 2x4.

    Just go do your own thing and enjoy, forget the pick-up sht and your future skank will come along, choose you and start bossing you around.

    That is how it really works.
  • Mamamialetmego
    I just move on. I don't attached someone before relationship. There are a lot of hot girls out there. If one rejects i move on to the next one.
  • Inv8derChris
    Women are the choosers? OK, if that were true; why am I always hearing women lament "It's hard to find someone; they're all gay or taken (not that that ever stopped anyone) etc? Women want guys to THINK that the deck is stacked against them; but really we all have the same issues with dating. All my female friends have the same issues with dating and relationships like anyone. I will grant you that women can get laid way easier than most men; but what difference does that make? Most of the women I know wouldn't just saddle up with any guy just to screw anyway. "They are the buyers, we are the sellers." The whole mentality that "Women control the board; we're just pawns in the game" is why dating is as ridiculous as it is
  • Liam_Hayden
    I don't worry about minimizing rejection. I just cast a wide net and see what I catch. Most get missed, some I throw back, but a few are mighty tasty.
  • Awesomedude934
    Good points here, but what happens, if the girl is in an open relationship and wants to be friends, and wants to have lunch with you, which you planned for already.
  • DovahKittyLady
    Or sometimes a woman is not attracted to you, So you just have to move on!
  • Insomnia72
    Some women get nervous when you ask them out with other people around her.
  • DWD1994
    Good mytake. Always something to be learned from rejection.
  • themomo84
    Sure, chemistry is important for me and if it's not present, can't work.
  • Chthou95
    If a girl rejects me in a messed up way despite me being respectful in my approach, i have all the room to say something back.
  • Dreewskii
    It's kinda hard when an ex sabotages your ability to pursue someone else but then doesn't talk to you, so you don't know where you stand.
  • soleil2666
    It's the source of all misery, that whole 'we are all equal - including a-holes that get women defensive - and the rest of us suffer their rejection for no good reason'
    Not just that - quite often women reject you when they sense YOU are not entirely sure about your interest in THEM - and then mock you for their own ego-self-preservation.
    I'd class the latter into psychological injury and make it illegal (as the Irish have started to do, see www.euronews.com/.../ireland-criminalises-emotional-and-psychological-abuse) - but articles like this keep assuming that being abused is ok if you just 'man up'
  • Paul09
    #3 is the worst, not like they tell you why. So hard to learn from.
    • xyz94

      It's sometimes just as simple as they aren't attracted to you. We're not all attracted to each other, we don't always get a 'match' with someone we like.

  • Hypnos0929
    So basically walk it off?
    This doesn't help the guys who handle rejection badly. Speaking from experience enough rejection will break any guy's spirit to the point where he just doesn't care about anything or wonders if he ever cared. Rather than giving him the old "There's plenty of fish in the sea" talk help him get with someone better for him.
    You know what creates good guys? Good influences. Good people surrounding him and willing to help him succeed. There's nothing more dangerous for a woman than a guy with a completely shattered ego and nowhere to go but up.
  • nicholas7643
    be good about it and find someone else just because one rejects you doesn't mean everyone will
  • davnad
    Who hurt you
    • No one (at least not lately). I am quite happy but a friend is having trouble accepting rejection and I offered him this advice. Since I already had it basically written I thought I'd put it out as a my take.

  • Jayne1982
    Not all ladies are rude ok
    • Of course not-but some are, for whatever reason. This is just advice to guys to deal with it and not get rude in return if they are.

    • NewUser19

      The only rude ones are the attractive ones
      the friendly ones/ door mats are the average-ish looking ones

    • ElvenMr

      @NewUser19 Which is a big problem.

    • Show All
  • womanoflife
    As a woman I love this.
  • KyleAsks
    Great advice for those who need it.
  • NoEstrogen
    Move on... she's one in 3.5 billion.
  • JCT666
    Excellent take!
  • oldoldold
    Good advice...
  • Johnson6799
    Take your licking and keep on ticking :-)
  • IHateBeingaMan
    i'm glad you say women are the choosers
  • dwgwnr
    Rape them... jk
  • soeoeoe
    It takes time to learn these lessons.
  • All do.
  • Anonymous
    Honestly I’ve been rejected by more guys than number of guys I’ve rejected. And this coming form a beautiful virgin girl. I just get over it and if there’s something I leaned is never to chase a man but men love the chase. As soon as you show them you feel the same way they run...
  • Anonymous
    I once shown interest in a co-worker. Though, I'm married and she knew this as well, she was single with a rough relationship with a guy she was unhappy with it seemed (as much as she confided in me, guess i felt close and comfortable enough) I made it known indirectly I liked her through someone else. Immediately her whole attitude toward me changed and it never recovered. I wouldve been fine laughing it off and a lesson learned and keep picking and have the usual banter, but no matter what she wouldn't budge. Still distant and cold itll soon be five years.
  • Anonymous
    This is why women should be the ones approaching!
    • Crimson811

      It's not that complicated. If a woman is into you, you will know.

    • Anonymous

      @Crimson811 Unless she says it, no we don't lol. If there's room for doubt, we'll doubt it. Or I do anyway, especially if I like her back.

    • Crimson811

      Unless you're a moron then yes you can tell. Like I said, it will so obvious that you won't have to wonder if she's interested. Guys act like they're sooo much smarter than women, yet can't even tell if a woman's interested in them or not. If she's romantically interested in you, then you'll know. No, being nice to someone doesn't count, chances are she's like that towards everyone.

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