Every woman has a past.

[Awantika03]

Every woman has a past. Many women were physically abused. Many parents used to beat them. Some had problems related to adolescence. Many were sexually abused in childhood by their own family members. Ishq did not come to many. Some were forced into sex or push in the name of love. Some did drugs. Some women were raped, some of which were reported and many had to remain silent because of the society. Some have been blackmailed by their ex-boyfriends by taking photos or making videos of them making love in bed. Some abusers were in a relationship. Some had menstrual problems

Many had broken families. Many got divorced. Many had the problem of obesity. Many were in financial trouble. Many were addicted to drugs or alcohol. Some made some unsuccessful attempts at suicide.

If you meet a woman who has gone through any of these periods but has already wiped away her tears, tied her hair, dismissed her pain with a smile, stood tall and strong, her future is starting to walk towards because he still has some hope left he hasn't given up on the concept of love that still exists in this world, don't scare him with his past. Don't discourage him.. Don't misbehave with him. Give way to him and walk with him. If you can hold his hand and walk for a while, walk. You will know how sweet his soul is and how strong his hopes are! You will be surprised how she holds herself after all her power is gone.

No need to go out to find it. She may be your own friend, your own sister, your own girlfriend, your own wife, your own mother. Don't judge his character based on his past. . Help give him the gift of peace and a better future that he deserves. Hold his hands against the world's mistreatment of him,

Give her the love she has always longed for.

[Lliam]

This my take hits home for me.

When I was 36, I asked a woman on a date. Petra worked at a business I frequented for my job. She was adorable but businesslike and dressed in outfits that consisted of skirt, blouse, jacket, heels, and matching accessories that looked like they were more suited to older women.

We went on a date and I found out that she was 30 years old.

Long story short, we got along great, went on several dates, and wound up living together for over a year.

I found out that she had been sexually abused by her step father for about 10 years from a very early age until she reached puberty. It messed her up. She became an alcoholic, got married and had a son at age 17. She and her husband got divorced a few years later, he got custody of their son, and she moved away. But she and her son were very close. She visited him often. And when he got older, he came to stay with her on holidays and during summer vacation.

When I met her, she had been in therapy for years, was a recovered alcoholic, had a profession, and supported herself. She was determined to succeed and have a normal life.

She is the first girlfriend I ever loved with my heart and soul. And she loved me. Her looks were my feminine ideal and I loved everything else about her.

Unfortunately, she couldn't confide in me completely. I was aware of a wall that I couldn't quite comprehend at the time. I don't think she could trust men completely and was afraid of being used or abandoned.

She kind of pushed me away one day and said that she thought I just wanted her for sex, which wasn't true. But I didn't know how to respond. I thought she was breaking up with me. I got defensive and moved out.

Being without her was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. She even tried a few times to talk to me but I found it too painful. I didn't think we could make it as life-long partners and was afraid that if I got back together with her we would eventually break up again. I didn't think I could handle that much pain twice.

I didn't realize until years later that her pushing me away was a cry for help. She wanted reassurance. She loved me and wanted to know that I loved her. I hadn't done enough to let her know how important she was to me and how much I loved, admired, adored, treasured and cherished her.

I should have fought for her. I should have reassured her instead of letting my own fear of abandonment cloud my judgement. It's painful for me to acknowledge, but I was the one who broke up with her, not the other way around.

20 years after we last saw each other and 15 years after I married my wonderful wife, Petra found me on Facebook. We even spoke a few times on the phone. Hearing her voice, being in contact, reading her insightful Facebook posts, and knowing that she was doing well filled me with joy. She was more remarkable than ever. She was living out of state near her mother and son and had never remarried.

Five years later, I read that she had died from a sudden medical problem at age 55. I was devastated. A bright light in the world had been extinguished.

Our separation worked out for me because I met the woman I've been married to for almost 26 years. She's the perfect wife for me. But I think about Petra all the time. I still love her and will never forget her. I count myself the luckiest man in the world to have had the time I had with Petra. But that's in the past and my love for her doesn't diminish the love I have for my wife.

I just wanted share this to let people know that, regardless of what Petra endured, she became a woman to be admired.

[bootyloveR88]

All is temporary so enjoy each and every moment that makes you glad to be alive

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It broke my heart… She definitely loved you and her pushing away was indeed her cry for help. But you were 36, that’s quite young and you didn’t understand how to deal with it. It wasn’t your fault.

I am happy you have such wonderful memories of her.

[Lliam]

@LaFemmeFatale_1. Thank you.
You're right. I didn't understand what was happening. I feel guilty, though. I contributed to the trauma she had experienced throughout her life. I let her down. As far as she knew, I discarded her like she was nothing.

I've never related that entire story anywhere or to anyone before. Thanks for understanding.

[Surely]

So sad 😞! But, unfortunately we all misinterpret signals sometimes in the moment. Then live to regret our actions at the time.

[TipsyFr]

Wow that’s deep, to be honest I would have acted the same. I think a lot of men would. I was always taught if someone pushes you away and acts like they don’t want you why would you want someone like that. I guess it’s not that simple. Not your fault though as men we can sometimes be as emotionally intelligent as a bag of rocks. We do try though ✌️

[davado88]

shit happens in life. some good shit, some bad. Gender is irrelevant to that.

as soon as some galoot starts playing their violin about their victimhood i write them off instantly as dullards

[davado88]

@LaFemmeFatale_1 is this where i respond to main post?
noone wants to hear your problems.
everyone has shit happen to them in life.
Its how you deal with that shit that makes you worth knowing
Or not

[Drewtate]

Nah. You got to be careful with the women you get serious with. Many women claim to be victims usually of some man but in reality they were the perpetrator.

Things like alcoholism, drug addiction, sexual promiscuity, obesity, mental health issues, a victim mentality, a history of cheating, debts etc are something any man should avoid when seeking to date.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Drewtate. Yes. Trying to save a woman is an absolute fools errand.

[Sweetsurprize]

Um, men have financial debts as well, don't you go thinking they are PERFECT vs. WOMEN!

Men are usually the stronger sex so why are you VICTIM BLAMING!

Yes, it's always good to be cautious, but it is also not right to point fingers or throw stones when you yourself live in a glass house!

Point the finger back at yourself when you look in the mirror sometime, and give your date some TRUST! It takes a lot for a woman to DISCLOSE very personal things about her past and what happend to her. The WORSE thing you could do is either not believe her, or discard her because of it! Grow up! As the author of this MyTake has said, what if that had been your sister, mother, wife or girlfriend! Think!

[KrakenAttackin]

@Sweetsurprize "The worst thing we can do is disregard or not believe her", worse for who, her? Your basic assumption is men live to cater to women. Men are tired of that shit. Men are also tired of false accusations, being part of your roster, and being abused by women. As far as the above being "mother, wife, sister", we know how treacherous even our female family members can be.

[Drewtate]

@KrakenAttackin I agree. Women can be just as equally shitty as men only difference is there is no consequences to dissuade them. The group that has the highest examples of domestic abuse is lesbians. Why? Because they are more likely to hit out physically and more likely to falsely accuse.

[Shiningtempest]

@Drewtate Your take is one of the reason why I see myself as a bachelor.

[RoοstеrBrеаst]

Mister Heard is a MTF tranny and Miss Depp is a FTM tranny. It was a psyop to distract and divide humanity.

Anyhow, fuck ALL inequalities.

I'd say these inequalities, chaos in society, and family bullshit I endured pushes me to become the most masculine version of myself. That my cock is becoming so hard, it is only suitable for breaking skulls of ghouls in half.

Remember, there are scientific studies supporting my guided meditation video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dG5cZzbKvW0

[monorprise]

@Sweetsurprize The trouble is women start the fights becase they are the least responsible sex, they are either unable or unwilling to control their own emotions and restrain themselfs from lashing out.

If it is unwillingness we have a huge problem with how many girls are being raised, if it is unable theses theses women really belong in prison. For like monkeys they can't be trusted not to harm other people.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Drewtate. Very true. These days your woman can have a change of hormones and all of a sudden you need a lawyer. Things are really fucked up.

[Sweetsurprize]

@KrakenAttackin Actually you guys really shouldn't generalize. My ex-man broke up with me like a light switch too. It's not good to assume so much, people are also individuals. That's the danger of grouping people or making blanket statements about men and women. This dude, he ACTED/PRETENDED to love/care about me for five months, only to have him throw that away like yesterday's trash. Talk about who is unstable and hormonal!

[Drewtate]

@Sweetsurprize well if you going to cheat what do you expect

[Sweetsurprize]

I did NOT cheat thanks for putting words in my mouth lol. I tried to be THE BEST partner, gave it my best shot. So not nice of you to accuse me of such a thing. When I am in a (good) relationship that I value, why would I do such a thing? Makes no sense.🙂

[RoοstеrBrеаst]

@Sweetsurprize putting words in your mouth? Well... I have a war canon that can put something else in your mouth...

[Sweetsurprize]

@RoοstеrBrеаst Dude you're insane. I'm blocking you.

[RoοstеrBrеаst]

@Sweetsurprize you're welcome, my dear, it was a very sweet surprise for you!

[RoοstеrBrеаst]

Oops. I thought you blocked me, but somehow your name was mentioned. Let's say I didn't expect you to read it.

[Sweetsurprize]

@KrakenAttackin ["The worst thing we can do is disregard or not believe her", worse for who, her? Your basic assumption is men live to cater to women.] I never said that. Again, YOU'RE the one who's assuming the worst.

It's really hard to change someone's mind or try to convince them that not everyone is like this when they are stubborn like all of you seem to be. It's called the BENEFIT of the doubt and why not believe her? You WANT the relationship to work right? If not, then yeah, I don't see the point in believing her then. That's unfortunate. Another failed relationship down the drain! And no, I'm not saying to ALWAYS believe someone, but it takes a lot like I said, for some people to even ADMIT that they got victimized. Why BLAME THE VICTIM and treat her even WORSE than she already deserves? I think that is cruel in my view. Like I said, how would you like it if your sister, wife, mother, aunt or cousin was in that situation (she wasn't believed just because of her gender). Feels rather demoralizing and makes the situation worse doesn't it? !

[Cuminginside]

@KrakenAttackin Yeah no Kidding. The White Knight syndrome has gotten old and played out.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Cuminginside Western women have lost all sense of decency, purpose, accountability, and honor. The tinder study showed how the top 4% of men are banging the top 50% of women, and these women wonder why Chad Thundercock won't commit to them.

This is what happens in a gynocracy, when women have power evil things happen.

[Cuminginside]

@KrakenAttackin Yeah I took my kids to the playground and I hear I think they're under 10 years old The girl singing we don't need men. I told them get out the playground! The indoctrination sucks.

[smashleyy]

I’m just going to pretend this post said “every person has a past” cause it applies to all. Everyone is deserving of healthy peaceful love. But the shitty truth is majority if not all the traumas you listed ends up filling one with toxic/abusive traits, feelings of being undeserving leading to self sabotaging behaviours that most people capable of giving healthy love aren’t going to put up with for long if there’s a blockage (which there usually is) for you to reciprocate. The key to getting love that heals you is by first giving it to yourself. “Dismissed her pain with a smile, stood tall and strong” there is nothing strong about dismissing/burying pain to later subconsciously project onto everyone else. Acknowledge it, feel it, grieve it, let it go. I rewatched Cinderella (1950) and Snowwhite (1937) recently, and what I got from it was both women came from shitty backgrounds and all their problems magically floated away cause a man came to the rescue, their saviour.
I think that’s a mindset a lot of women have without realizing. The hard truth is a man is not going to save you (or a partner in general). You have to save yourself, you have to want to save yourself. My intention with this reply was not to be a cunt. I have my fair share of trauma and the results of suppressing my past was alcoholism, depression, being suicidal, hypersexuality, chronic leg/joint pains, anxiety, eating disorder, searching and accepting “love” in all the wrong places just for it to end up adding onto the already long bullshit list of unresolved trauma. Not to mention the shitty characteristics I picked up along the way. I wanted nothing more than to be loved correctly but I’m glad I did not meet someone willing to give that when I was in my self-destruction era. I would’ve fucked them up (unintentionally). I often used to wish I never met my ex but I know now that if it wasn’t him it would’ve just been another abusive jackass like him. Red flags aren’t red if it’s the only behaviour you’ve ever known, if it’s the behaviour you got growing up. I had some harsh self love lessons learn, a lot of introspection, and generational cycles to recognize that my grandparents/parents couldn’t or just wouldn’t pay any mind to. As great as it sounds having a loving partner doesn’t resolve already existing issues. people deserve love regardless of their past trauma/baggage but is the past really the past.

[Drewtate]

Snow White and cinderella are cautionary tales as to why men should not marry single mothers and why women should stay chaste.

[davado88]

@Drewtate or eat poisoned apples. especially near witches

[Cuminginside]

@Drewtate interesting analogy

[Ozanne]

A thoughtful take, bravely written to highlight women's issues. While everyone is snapping back with "this could be men too!"--well, it's not right now. This is a post to focus on women, especially in this day and age when there is so much women-hate going on right now. People think that just because a woman emerges out of her apartment with makeup on and a smile on her face that all is well--it likely is not. If others wish to write a take on the man's perspective, then please do. For now, this one is meant to have people consider that the women in your life often keep quiet about our past and problems because sometimes we still feel responsible, even if it was a man who victimized us, since society keeps telling us it's our fault all the time.

If any man cares to sit down with their own mother and ask her about her past, and all the hard times and heartbreaks she had gone through, they would be in disbelief, as their mother likely put on a brave face throughout the entire time raising her children. If he sat down with his sister and asked her if she's okay, and if anything about her past bothers her, he might be angry to learn that some guy sexually assaulted her, and yet she was too mortified to tell anyone. One day he'll realize that he might have a daughter who will very likely have the same experiences, it will be imperative that he also raise his son right, to learn how to refrain from violence or self-entitlement to their bodies.

This post is about women, and much of the experiences we go through are statistically not the same as it is for men, even though it's true they are no less painful. The chances are that if you know a woman, or love any woman, there is a higher chance that she has been damaged by someone in her past, and that damage was likely done by a man.

[ObscuredBeyond]

The kicker to this is whether or not her past is self-inflicted, and to what extent. I can get that some have been through horrible things, and came out better. Millie Weaver did what journalists are supposed to do, and got tortured in jail for it! Thus revealing that Chuck Schumer and most of the US intelligence community are absolute pieces of garbage.

There's a woman I like, but I don't let myself get too close, so I can keep from making any lapses in judgment. She has a messy past too, and a horrible family. But at the same time, she's made plenty of really terrible decisions herself. And admits it.

I cannot possibly hope to save her from the consequences of everything she's done to herself. There's too much. And it goes back too far.

Also:

- My first high school crush had a horrible past. But she chose the path and actions that permanently destroyed any chance between us. Nothing about her history made that choice for her.

- My second major high school girlfriend was utterly devastated when her parents got divorced. Basically, her whole family was awful. But she was the one who chose gangs and drugs over me. She was the one who, after numerous attempts by others to stop her, kept going back to the drugs again and again. She was the one who stuck that needle in her arm that killed her. It wasn't just the fact that heroin is a helluva drug. It was also that bit of pride in her. To not want to admit to a mistake. To think she'd cross that line, get away with it, and tell everyone: "See? Gotcha! You were all wrong, not me!" And that pride came before a deadly fall.

- Merre was horribly treated by her husband before he maliciously deserted her, leading to their divorce. But she's the one who chose to sleep with him in high school, in spite her mother warning her he was no good for her. Her mother worried I'd be Joe 2.0. I insisted I wasn't, and wanted to prove I wasn't. But her mother was prejudiced against me. Feared "the loop," even though I'd refused to sleep with Merre outside marriage. Merre was the one who chose to believe her mother's fear over me. It took ten years to reconcile. And a year later, she was dead.

- Sunny faced mountains of pressure from all of China to abandon me. But she was the one who finally made the choice to not only ghost me, but wait until her daughter was almost two years old before having a coworker that got promoted to replace her at work after she left, some "Lucy," be the one to tell me everything.

I get that every woman has a past. But they still have to answer for the parts that are their fault. Likewise:

- I gave Carly way more chances than I owed her.

- I wasn't curious enough about Emily's predicament until after she died.

- I made sure that Merre would be remembered, by making her the mascot to The Sims 4: Oughties Big Rapids Living Stuff. If I weren't allowed to be by her side in her dying moments, I would at least immortalize her in something. I wasn't going to let her slip into the night and be that immediately forgotten, as what happened to Emily.

- I agreed to let Sunny go. I saw no better alternative.

Everyone has a past. But we still have to live with our choices - and theirs.

[Leapfrog00]

I can relate to a woman who has been abused. I went through years of abuse of my parents, a narcissistic aunt, a psycho ex-girlfriend who was also narcissistic and used to beat the s*** out of me all the time. I also have a severe panic disorder, acute anxiety disorder, social anxiety, and a major depressive disorder.

I'm at anyone who went through abuse or suffers mental health issues, she's one person I would know how to talk to, and probably offer my support, listen to her feelings, make sure she's okay, let her cry to me, and let her know that I understand what she's been through and what she's currently going through.

Abuse can leave a damper on future relationships, and the PTSD alone can cause trust issues, but I understand completely. I have lots of trouble trusting mostly everyone. Then there's the nightmares at night, so I understand people who have went through that and are currently going through it.

It sucks that I'm alone now with no family and no friends, but it's better than being in that situation. It makes me sad to think of people going through that kind of abuse. I wish I could help every single one of them.

[Peter_Penetrator]

More young women need to read your post.


It is very touching. I truly hope you are healing from your own trauma. It sounds like you are.


You are an inspiration to those living with any or all of what you listed.


As a guy, you can meet a woman, and after a few months of brief interactions, after she chooses to give you a glimpse into who she is as a woman, and you are also willing to let her be who she is, especially with you in particular, don’t let her get away. Let her know you can be trusted.


Then there are those covert, little, clues you pick up on such as her mission to be a great mother and her mission to care for a man, the right man, a man that is able to recognize and accept her need to be an empathetic woman.


A woman like that is a rare gem in today’s world.


If she is getting her life straight, and isn’t ready to commit to you yet, be patient. She will be worth the wait. However long that wait happens to be.

[AaronKrieger]

Everyone has a past - it's your job to see if that partner put's their trauma you by looking for significant enough red flags. No one shouldn't put their problems on others, since it everyone's responsibility to improve themselves.

I understand you probably made this post, since a lot of guys online have started to preach to stay away from women with trauma, so I approve of it. For me, I think my mother having experienced a traumatic life is why I've subconsciously been with only women who also have. First relationship taught me what red flags to look for, since it sucked, but the other relationships were beautiful because of it.

Anyone who says to not date women who've experienced trauma I get, but they need to look at it from another lens.

[Kayla45]

The thought process behind this post is admirable, I'll give you that.

However I'd be willing to say women and men both have struggles in life, some they are prepared for, others not so much.

Just like how you said that women need to be cared for and loved, I would definitely do the same if a close male friend or even my husband was going through a similar situation. Love has no boundaries, or specific gender requirements...

If someone who I love has had a rough past then I want to be the one to help them heal from it, you cannot erase the past, but you sure as heck can learn from previous experiences, even if some of those past experiences are unpleasant..

[MikeyObrien]

True. And I actually don't think it's the past that bothers men it's the past that the women had control over that bothers us. Like sleeping around is a choice, staying in an abusive relationship is a choice, having children out of wedlock is a choice, and having done drugs is a choice. These standards are the same for men even if it's not portrayed in the media. For example if you're dating a guy and you find out he used to be a felon would that bother you? It's in his past. You're right in that everyone has a past, but you can absolutely use someone's past CHOICES to articulate what kind of person they are.

[Berethor]

I am totally going to judge her character based on her past, I am only going to marry virgin.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Nature_Adores_a_Virgin

[GenderEqualityMyth]

Ngl, it's extremely cringe and socially deaf to link a trope website when talking about real shit.

[Berethor]

I see that you want to get blocked, okay I am going to block you, have fun. :)

[Shiningtempest]

@Berethor That's a wise idea. :)

[davado88]

@Shiningtempest blocking someone because they disagree with you is weaksauce. I suspect you're tired of boys and want to try a woman for once, Good luck with that abdul

[davado88]

by boys i mean prepubescent. Arabs are known for it

[Shiningtempest]

@davado88 You're missing the point. I was saying Berethor's point about only dating a virgin is a smart idea.

[DubiousIntentions]

This is not just females who can go through this. I'm sure there are a lot number of boys/men that have gone through this too. For instance, it is not only boys who get bullied at school, but girls also. We all have pasts, and we all have to live with them. Maybe we all just need to join a fight club.

[Kaamraj]

Every man has a past also, but does anyone espicially women care? They want the finished product where a man has overcome his past to make himself a valuable commodity. So I suggest men to return the favor. If they are valuable then they dont have the obligation to spend their time, energy and resources to fix you. Your past is not my past and your problems are not my problems.

[FunkyMonkee]

Who are we talking about, here? We're talking about women and suddenly we're talking about men, then it's back to women, then back to men and back to women again!

No matter which we're talking about, except for the menstrual problems, all of this could easily be about men, too.

[Andres77]

She’s working on her English and confused the pronouns. Should’ve have been “her” throughout

[DarkLegacy]

Yes and you can bet your bottom dollar that women will avoid men if these things affect them and defend doing so and defend other women who avoid them.

[Singing_Hollow]

Its not someone else's problem to fix your problem. There comes a time in your life where you have to say "f*ck it, I'm not going to let others choices mold my life" and take responsibility. You are the only one who can fix what is broken by making the choice to do so. We all have bad pasts but you can either let it grow you into something incredible or let it kill you completely but thats up to you and you alone.

[JacobJordan]

not every woman has a past. a lot of women have experienced none of the things listed. My wife is such a woman. the only thing I would truly say about this take is for a woman who went through this to get the love she longs for she needs to not let her past define her provided it was out of her control. in addition depending on her past it will absolutely define her if she had control over it.

[Anonymous]

I respect your post, but i don't thik its valuable post every men & women, some people will agree and others might not,

Actually it doesn't means that men have beautiful life than women, however women do suffer more, while some men have a trash life sometimes worser than women, and some women might have beautiful life too..

Its very hard to judge every others in between 7.2 billions, people have complexities in life

This kinds of thoughts will produce hate for a particular genders,

The solution is to observe as a individual level, and people needs to be more self depandant,

For me i will never hate women & men too... whatever happening to me and whatever will happen to me for others, i will only judge individual, for me, i am not or her, everybody is unique like vehicles number plate.

[Phoenix98]

Many people man or woman has a past it's not something unique but it doesn't make any of it any less important we all have our things we're trying to work through, best thing anyone can do for anyone they're involved with is just simply help the best you can in the way that's needed, even if that's just simply being there for them when they need you.

[exitseven]

Yes, e veryone has a story to tell. i dated someone who was abused by her parents, she was a nice kid but has issues with alcohol and had abused drugs as well. She really needed more help than I could give her. Eventually she dumped me, moved out of her place and I never saw her again.

[Apple1996]

I agree that every woman has a past and so do men. It's silly of people not to think a person doesn't have a past when we all do

[TonyMetal___86]

Why is it that every woman has a past as if men didn't have a past at all, why does it always seems that the girl is oppressed and the man is pictured as the heartless torturer?

Every person has a past and we must help any person had a bad past!

[love_conquers_lust]

I will judge. I want her to judge, too. I want her to acknowledge her past, recognize the unjust environments she was subjected to, and as well as some of the decisions she made.

We need to learn to tease out the righteous from the unrighteous.

[love_conquers_lust]

I’d want her to judge my past as well. I’d want her to know me so we can accept one another for who we’ve been and who we want to be. Is it the environment that makes a person, or is it their decisions in reaction to them?

[DarkLegacy]

It is her past and not our problem, women with too much baggage are to be avoided, if she does not make relationship material then why would we date her. This is especially true for women were they are to blame for their problems, if they make bad relationship decisions, take drugs the us men should avoid them.

Furthermore i like most sensible men would not be with a woman who is divorced or obese. We want attractive women of course.

[Sweetsurprize]

Oh I see. So your shit don't stink?

[DarkLegacy]

@Sweetsurprize Not that badly no

[Ozanne]

So the point of the post was to have some compassion that a lot of women have a terrible past due to trusting men and being taken advantage of, yet you are still woman-blaming. If men focused on each other and teaching their sons not to mistreat women, what a better off place we would be in. But instead you vilify the woman as if she's asked for a bad past. /smh

[DarkLegacy]

@Ozanne The same applies to women mistreating people especially men, you are just trying t justify womens wrongdoing by accusing men. Typical feminist mentality.

[Sweetsurprize]

@DarkLegacy I don't mistreat men. I think it's not good for you to generalize like that. People are individuals, not just their gender. And I think you know what I meant by my earlier comment to you. If you want to look for a perfect person, then just live in your imagination maybe. That's the only place you can realistically find those types of people you are wanting!

[DarkLegacy]

@Sweetsurprize You are both generalizing men

[davado88]

obese i understand. Slut i understand. But why is divorced an issue?

[Avicenna]

Sometimes that past can actually pose a danger to the guy; e. g., if she has Borderline Personality Disorder or other mental illnesses as a result of abuse or perhaps other causes.

[Sweetsurprize]

1. What if she is getting those "demons" fixed?
2. I was arrested at 20 for vandalism over 20 years ago. I NEVER got arrested again, nothing criminal, nothing. Traffic citations, yes, but criminal nothing. People can reform, they can change. They can learn not to repeat the same mistakes from their past!

[Avicenna]

@Sweetsurprize: Your circumstances weren't due to mental illness and were quite fixable. That's in no way comparable to severe mental illness like the aforementioned BPD, which cannot be fixed.

[RealMarek]

After my experience with an ex with BPD, never again.

[Avicenna]

@RealMarek: Same here

[RealMarek]

@Avicenna People didn’t talk about it when I was young, so I had no idea what I was dealing with.

[Avicenna]

@RealMarek: I didn't find out about until I was 47, and even then only because someone else who knew her was in the mental health field and we could figure out that she had it as part of her co-morbidity. I'm very lucky to have gotten out of that relationship in one piece.

[RealMarek]

@Avicenna It’s interesting you mention being lucky to get out of it in one piece, because I got sick and she treated me terribly during that time, and I realized I would be physically abused if I ever had a serious illness and was unable to escape. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me.

[Avicenna]

@RealMarek: Wow...