Misconceptions About Tomboys

[AshleyMD]

What is a Tomboy?

I have seen a couple misconceptions on what a "tomboy" is. I would like to clear some of the misconceptions up.

The Literal Definition of a Tomboy

Definition of a Tomboy

First of all a tomboy is defined as, "a girl who enjoys rough, noisy activities traditionally associated with boys." Source: Oxford Dictionaries

While this definition is seemingly clear, it only speaks to what she enjoys to do. It does not speak on sexuality or how she chooses to dress.

Misconception 1) Tomboys Dress Like Boys

The two major misconceptions about tomboys I have seen is that they all dress like boys. This may be true for some, but just because a girl is a tomboy doesn't mean she dresses as if she were a boy. For example I am a tomboy and I still love to look sexy.

Misconception 2) Tomboys Are Bisexual

The second misconception is that being a tomboy makes her bisexual. This is just not true. Girly-girls can be bisexual just as easily as a tomboy can. I will reiterate that being a tomboy does not speak on sexuality, it only speaks about activities that are enjoyed. I will use myself as an example once again: I am a tomboy and I am not bisexual.

Other Misconceptions About Tomboys

If any other tomboys would like to add to my examples, please comment below. Also if there are any misconceptions I have missed, please comment! :)

I hope this was helpful.

[EyeSeaYew]

I agree. The stereotype of tomboys is a butch female that hates everything girly and is basically like a guy in a girl's body, which doesn't really fit the definition. Pretty much all of my girl friends (myself included) are tomboys by definition but outwardly appear feminine. We wear makeup, pay attention to our hair, and dress well. But we also video game, wrestle, hike, play sports, and participate in plenty of both indoor and outdoor activities that aren't typically considered feminine. That's what an actual tomboy is. Not a butch.

I think it's the best of both worlds, honestly. We look nice but share similar interests with guys.

[JackKerouac77]

Great take, but it should have been longer! Educate me more about tomboys!!!

[AshleyMD]

What would you lie to know?

[JackKerouac77]

Anything else you have to share!

[AshleyMD]

Nothing I can think about right now. But I'd be happy to share with you anything else if I find another misconception or things people didn't know about tomboys.

[raio81597]

@AshleyMD yeah this reminds me of a girl on Yahoo answers, she asked why her boyfriend pays more attention to wrestling divas than to her, after all she was a jeans and t-shirt tomboy kind of girl. I told her that it doesn't matter that he pays attention to divas, he can't have them, yet if you want his attention she should be his fantasy, she could easily get a pair of bike shorts, some tights, calf high Chuck Taylors from Claire's boutique, tease her hair and put on lots of makeup and throw on either a sports bra or ripped t-shirt and challenge him to a wrestling match that should get his attention, and he might wrestle her all the way to the bedroom. She loved the idea and never thought that wrestling divas were tomboys. I said they were after all they were physical, and not some dainty fragile things. I don't know what happened yet she hasn't complained about any lack of attention.

[AshleyMD]

@raio81597 Yeah a wrestling diva is a tomboy and I think they are perfect examples of me trying to explain that you can be a tomboy and still look sexy and want to look sexy

[Hannah591]

I'm a tomboy, I'm not bisexual and I dress in the latest girls fashion. I look like a girly girl but I'm more interested in guy things than girl things, I get along with guys more than girls too. I grew up with an older brother who loved gadgets and video games, all of which were more interesting than dolls. I was intrigued by how they worked and wanted to even become a game developer. I also fell in love with cars and have been ever since, yet no-one would ever know unless they got to know me.

[Hannah591]

It's frustrating when people say that tomboys are just trying to please guys and get in their pants. It's like saying guys who like romantic movies are just trying to get into girls pants by getting in their good books. People like what they like, gender stereotypes shouldn't determine whether you're allowed to like something.

[Anonymous]

I dress like a boy because it's just practical. Functionality over fashion is my motto! I'm always in jeans and a t-shirt. Not only am I NOT Bi, I prefer to be submissive towards my boyfriends. That doesn't mean that I always want to be ordered around like a slave, quite the opposite! I enjoy being a leader, and for that reason I am very blunt and say exactly what I am thinking or feeling. I don't see any point in all those girly mind games, because men aren't mind-readers! I never wear make-up, nor do I get my hair and nails done. Waste of time and money when they'll only get messed up anyway. I am fat, which doesn't bother me in the least, but a lot of people often assume that I am a "butch dike" because I dress in mean's clothes, and don't really try to be girly. They assume that I'm not into men.

[Zorax]

Great article indeed, there are some other misconceptions about tomboys, for example, some people think that tomboys are "ugly or butchy girls" - which is a complete rubish. In reality, lots of tomboys are really beautiful girls. by the way - some guys really like girls who dress sporty and/or casual.

[LadyBBaller]

I'm a total tomboy... I always ran with my guy cousins when I was younger (actually still do haha) I'm just not a girly girl, I have no interest in clothes or makeup or whatever. And I'm not bi.

[YourFutureEx]

So sad, I've never seen a Tomboy with my eyes.
Advice: the picture you attached above is wearing clothes like a boy, you should have attached another photo of tomboy who dressed girly to give weight-age to your point #1.

[AshleyMD]

I had a different picture of a question mark and a bubble person, the site owners changed it to a stereotypical tomboy. That was my original plan but I then decided i didn't want to confuse people.

[YourFutureEx]

Do you know why they did that?

[AshleyMD]

What do you mean? Who?

[YourFutureEx]

the site owners

[AshleyMD]

No idea, I'm guessing they change all gagTakes to make them easier reads and I guess they thought the picture I had didn't fit with what I was saying.

[YourFutureEx]

OK :) Nice take by the way

[AshleyMD]

Thanks :)

[Cole846]

I think that tomboys make the best girlfriends. They are so much fun to hang out with. Also, personally I find them more respectful.

[Anonymous]

haha, im a tomboy and fall under both of those stereotypes. i am bi, dress like a guy, am obsessed with ice hockey (NHL), extreme sports, and engineering. i guess other misconceptions would be not wearing makeup (i dont but some girls who claim to be tomboys do), not shaving (i dont but again, others do), and not caring much about hair products and that stuff (like previous two).

[RasmusAiken]

Great Take. It's obvious there are a lot of false beliefs regarding tomboys.

[HikerDude]

In my experience, tomboys are hard to reach. They mostly act like they aren't interested in guys in a romantic/sexual way. So for all the tomboys who complain about being overlooked by guys, why don't you try showing some interest in us.

[AshleyMD]

I do show romantic/sexual interest in guys. I don't know any other tomboys who have a trouble getting that kind of attention from guys, and I know I certainty don't.

[HikerDude]

Then you probably wouldn't really be considered a tomboy by most standards.

[AshleyMD]

Did you look at the definition?
What do you think a tomboy is? Someone who doesn't show interest in men?

[HikerDude]

If you're a girly-girl who likes to play video games and ride dirt bikes, you're not a tomboy. You're just a normal girl.

[AshleyMD]

I'm not a girly-girl, far from it. Being able to look sexy and attract guys doesn't make you a girl-girl, I hate make-up and 'girly' activities.

[HikerDude]

Tomboys usually aren't considered every man's fantasy, though. If you're well accepted and desired by all guys, I just don't think you're actually a tomboy. The tomboys I've known have acted like one of the guys. I don't know, it just sounds like you're using a label that may not apply to you. Girls these days seem to love to proclaim how tough they are because it seems cool.

[AshleyMD]

I do hang with the guys and act like the guys, but thoes are the guys I'm not attracted to, I just like being sexy and sexual too, I only act that way around the guys I am attracted to. I just meant I've never had a problem with getting a guys attention in a sexual way, but it's usually because I'm acting sexual.

[HikerDude]

Ok, I've just never experienced a tomboy who was sexual at all. Most of them just want to hang with the guys and do guy things. They don't seem sexual at all to me, but I guess I'd be the unattractive loser guy you describe, not the *other* guys who you actually flirt with.

[AshleyMD]

Well if I hang out with guys but I'm not attracted to them, I don't think they're losers, I think they're awesome and are great friends, I just am not attracted to them. They're not unattractive, just that I don't find them attractive (the ones I hang with). But some of the guys I hang around I was attracted to but then they said they were asexual or gay and sometimes they have girlfriends. So what are the tomboys you know like? They don't express their sexuality at all?

[HikerDude]

No, they don't act sexual or interested in sex for the most part. They might make lewd jokes or talk about dicks or something, but that's not sexual anymore than another guy talking about dicks. They certainly don't flirt or act like they're interested in any other guys. They just want to hang out and do things together like play video games or sports.

[AshleyMD]

Unless they're asexual, they must be sexual elsewhere. If they were into girls, I would think they would talk to you guys about girls when you guys talk about girls, if they are into guys maybe they just feel awkward talking about it?

[HikerDude]

I think they're asexual to some degree. They don't seem to be into sex the way I am, like where I really want to get close to a girl emotionally and physically. They're kind of cynical, like they think the whole thing is silly. Either that, or I'm one of the guys they hang out with for fun while crushing on someone else. I don't know...

[AshleyMD]

I would think that if they were sexual some of it would show when they're with you. Maybe they are asexual. A friend of mine who is asexual thinks being sexual is a waste of time.

[raio81597]

@HikerDude, I think the girls you are referring to are have problems with men, as in perhaps starting out with an physically absent father or one that is indifferent to their emotional needs and the tomboy persona is a compensation for the lack positive role model in their lives, often they love their dads or would if he was there yet there just isn't an emotional connection to him. The tomboy that @AshleyMD is referring to most likely is close to dad and emulates him as with her interests, if not could be another close male in the family that she emulates as I've often found to be the case.

[AshleyMD]

@raio81597 interesting assessment, now that I think about I do think I emulate my grandfather to an extent. I have also been very close to my male cousin who is a year older than me and I have copied a lot of what he does, by not trying to, maybe it's a subconscious thing.

[raio81597]

It's possible we tend to emulate those closest to us as a way to show respect for them. Like the term mimicking is a sincere form of flattery. As for tomboys I adore them, always have, it's like have the best of both worlds, there smart in guy things and make life a whole lot easier on me, not to say they have less insecurities than any other girl, yet when it comes to reliability, creativity in the work place and the physical enjoyment of hanging around them and not worrying if they are gonna break a nail or not, they're awesome. Glad you're one of them. :)

[AshleyMD]

@raio81597 Thanks so much! :)

[raio81597]

You're welcome, anytime. :) I'm glad you brought this subject up, most guy really don't get that just because a girl is a tomboy by nature she really is just a feminine as any other girl and often loves just the same, she has a heart. If you notice the girl in the photo above, look closely at her nails, they're clean, long and manicured, that's not very manly, LOL I still think she's attractive though and would date her as well, and wouldn't find it strange if she wore my shirts to bed or ran around in my hoodies, every girl wants a guys hoodie that smells like him, as I've come to experience. Besides I often hear from girls that guys clothes are so much more comfortable, so why not wear em and not all tomboys wear cotton granny panties or men's boxer briefs many wear satin and lace under those comfy clothes.

[AshleyMD]

@raio81597 Yeah that's very true. Guys clothes are more comfortable.

[HikerDude]

I still don't get it. If you're so girly, then what makes you a tomboy?

[AshleyMD]

What makes someone a tomboy is the activities they enjoy. A guy can be metro-sexual and sporty and a girl can be a tomboy and still like looking good.

[raio81597]

She's not girly she's feminine, femininity is an energy and feminine women often take care of their appearances masculine women usually don't.

[Femdomina]

Cool mytake, it's so true... tomboys wear unisex clothes, so it's definitely not true that they dress like boys, and most guys I know actually like tomboys.

[Andrew1968]

The term tomboy is so outdated. The correct term is crossdresser.

[luvme56]

Perfect take... tomboy! :)

[AshleyMD]

Thank you :)

[luvme56]

Your welcome!!!

[kep79]

I'd like to see you do a rough activity wearing heels.
But what activities do you enjoy?

[been_waiting]

Does everything have to be perverted with you?

[kep79]

where do you see the perversion? @been_waiting

[been_waiting]

In every comment you make on here. Read your first sentence

[kep79]

@been_waiting, she's the one who says tomboys like rough activities

[been_waiting]

Um ok. So that automatically has to mean that you ask to see her do it in heels?

[kep79]

because she says she's a tomboy and likes to dress sexy @been_waiting

[been_waiting]

Doesn't mean you need to make a comment like that..

[Attila]

should at least wear heavy makeup

[AshleyMD]

Why? It doesn't look good or natural.

[Anonymous]

Tom boys are nasty to me

[AshleyMD]

Nasty as in what?

[Opinion Owner]

They are not feminine
They act like men. They fart and burp in public. They don't know how to take care of theirselves. Messy hair, aggressive personality. I don't know just very unattractive

[AshleyMD]

I don't burp or fart in public, that's considered rude. I think you're thinking of the stereotypical tomboy though. So are you a lesbian or bi? Or do you mean not attractive as a friend?

[Opinion Owner]

I'm straight. I just think any manly men wouldn't like them. Only a beta male who acts like a women would.
Tom boys = are girls who act like men
Beta males = men who act like women
Sounds like a perfect couple to me

[Opinion Owner]

I would never associate with a tom boy because then people will think I'm that. I hang out with women like myself. Girly.

[AshleyMD]

Oh ok, I see what you're saying. That might possibly be true most of the time. Although I have met a manly men who likes me.

[AshleyMD]

Oh ok, it does make sense to be friends with people like who you are though.

[Anonymous]

Excellent myTake, I agree 100%

[Opinion Owner]

I would also add this: Differences between tomboyish girls and butch girls ↗

[MeliGigi]

You are not my real mom. 😒

[bubble_tea]

great article!