Is it impossible for a Guy with Asperger Syndrome to start dating and get a girlfriend? Is it or not?

Question

Because I'm a 21 year old guy, will be 22 next year in January, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, always been single. I have Asperger Syndrome, which is a mild form of Autism, so I'm not a very social person, I don't have a lot of friends and I'm not very outgoing. I'm not good at starting conversations, like I have a very hard time starting a conversation and keeping it going, whether it is small talk or any talking, I'm not good at talking to girls, and I don't think I will ever get better because of Asperger Syndrome. So is it impossible for a guy with Asperger Syndrome to get a girlfriend and start dating? Is love not meant for everyone?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Of course it is!...I am 16 years old and I am dating a guy who is 17 and HE has Asperger's Syndrome.

Let me tell you something. Guys get rejected all the time, so you are not alone.

The fact that you have AS is something that a lot of people don't understand, and there are sadly not a lot of people that know such thing EXISTS.

I am a very aware person myself and I have a passion for psychology.

It is going to be hard but you have to find a girl that is aware and understands. I would say date someone that is smart and takes like all physics classes, because they are smart, and they may understand you better. Don't go after popular people that seem like they dress like whores and go to night clubs.

You are very intelligent, and so you need to find someone who is similarly as intelligent as you are.

It can be hard to start a conversation and socialize with a girl...every boy has that problem.

For you it may be a bit harder, no worries. I hope you have someone that you can trust, because asking them how to approach a girl is nice.

My guy, Marshall, I would see him ask his friend about how to ask me to prom, and when he did, he seemed very nervous, but that was the cutest thing to me.

If you are not a social person, there are anti-social people that are in relationships.

If you want to be close to someone and have a relationship with them, you need to open up and get out of your comfort zone.

You need to make them feel like you care about them, and what a girl wants to see is that a guy that can't live without them,

If you really like this girl, they may have expectations from you, and you can listen to them and act upon them, but DON'T let it change who you are!

if you think that you don't know how to approach a girl, go to a friend and ask them, someone that you can trust. I know it seems hard and impossible but the only way to attach to someone is to open up, get out of your comfort zone, and get closer to them.

I don't have Aspergers, and I get in trouble with social interaction. I simply ask my therapist on how to approach it. I go to one because I have depression.

I am so sorry my comment was so long, but I just wanted to try to include everything in here.

The main point is:

Don't give up, start believing, you haven't got a girlfriend because you haven't found the right one. These girls are not special. The girl that will eventually come for you is going to be a girl that is at the top and that are neglected, they are the best out there, but no one sees it, and if you look hard enough and really try your hardest, you will find that amazing girl that everyone underestimates.

Remember this one thing that I tell you:

Think, Dream, Receive; it is the creative thought process. It will help you alot.

I hope that this answer has helped you, and I hope that you feel better. I felt like I had to share my story so that it gives you hope. I don't know who you are, but I wish the best for you. I hope you find the

CuddlyCarla · Accepted Answer

Let me start by saying that life is very much what you make it, and you are who you tell yourself you are. You create self-fulfilling prophecies by both believing what other people say about you or even labeling yourself. If you've already decided you'll never get a girl, then you won't. Change only happens when you believe in the possibilities, not shut off your opportunities. Open your mind and start thinking positively about yourself and your future and you'll find the universe opens up to you. That said, I have an Aspergers boyfriend who I care about deeply. Plenty of people with AS have relationships and marriages. There's no reason you can't have that too. You can see a therapist to work on 'social training'. You can also read self-help books on how to communicate with people and how to develop better social skills or listen to motivational tapes on the subject, they really help. Also, you can develop skills and hobbies and join groups so you can meet some people, developing your strengths will help you build confidence. Judging yourself, labeling yourself, and not taking responsibility for the things you can actually change are going to be your downfalls unless you start making some changes. Instead of wishing you were someone else, look at your strengths and what you have to offer this world, just because you have AS doesn't mean you aren't an interesting person, a brilliant person, or someone with plenty to contribute. Some of the greatest minds of the century had AS, including Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, and Bill Gates to name a few, so the only thing that is going to get in the way of your progress is your attitude toward yourself. My AS boyfriend is awesome. Believe in yourself, work hard, and keep moving forward and you'll be fine. Don't be too hard on yourself, we all have internal battles to fight. Oh, and as for the virginity thing - its not a big deal. There are plenty of people your age who haven't had sex, it isn't going to hold you back in life. Everyone has a different pace, go with it.

Rainbows · Accepted Answer

My father has Asperger's Syndrome and he's been married to my mother for twenty-five years.  If you keep trying, you'll eventually find somebody. Never give up hope.

jacquesvol · Accepted Answer

Update: Why does the guy always have to be the one to ask the girl out and initiate the date and relationship? Who or what started that Tradition?

It must be as old as humanity. In times gone by women who took initiatives were frowned upon. Men were the bosses in the family. Women were not supposed to be able to think straight.

Fathers would choose a husband for their daughters. (often it had to do with money, dowry etc)

In more recent times the guys went to the girl's father to ask her hand and permission to marry her.

As I said already, probably to keep inheritances in the family.

mikethebear · Accepted Answer

i have a very low form of Aspergers. its nothing to be ashamed of.

i was thrust into heaps of social activities as a kid and as a result it has almost no effect on my day to day life. all you need to do is get out there. make friends, hang out with them.

it helps, trust me =]

SARAH18 · Answer

I would love to go out with a guy with Asperger's, I just think they're unique and interesting people. Sorry I know that didn't really answer the question.

Anonymous · Answer

I understand how having Asperger's Syndrome could be hard. I have Social Anxiety Disorder and have problems making connecting with people as well. Nothing is impossible but I am sure that having Asperger's will make things more difficult for you. I would date a guy with Asperger's if he was nice to me. The trick would be getting us to talk to each other. Lol. Good luck.

Emilymarie77 · Answer

If you say its impossible then I have no problem agreeing with you.  You are the most negative person I have come into contact with and believe with out a doubt that you have more behavioral hlth issues than you choose to state.  I have known four men that have your condition and all have asked me for my # with out a problem!

lightninggirl23 · Answer

Love is meant for you! I must say I am completely head over heals for a man that is younger than me and has Asperger's he stopped responding but then came back. I will do anything for him. He doesn't really know I am in love with him quite yet because well, I don't want him to totally shut down and ignore me altogether! I will tell him eventually. Right now we text because of a weird living situation and he has nosey roommates. He doesn't even talk to his mom as much as he does me. However, I believe in and respect him SO much and tell him often. He is wicked brilliant and I enjoy and cannot wait to be in his presence again. Don't give up anonymous, she is out there for you! I tend to text a lot and need to scale it back for him, but that is what you do when you really genuinely care for someone. You will move mountains for that person. We all fear rejection and well if people don't Yipee for them. My heart has been hurt a lot and it sucks but like I said, keep the faith!

-S

Emilymarie77 · Answer

Who knows how it started but waaaay back when - men were thought to be the more dominant sex so it is relatively understandable that men wld be the ones to take an active role in accomodating themselves with whom they want to associate - which in turn means, asking out the ladies.

Little_Miss_L · Answer

it seems to me that what troubles you is that you don't have the confidence to go straight up to a girl and ask her out or have an established social life where opportunities to talk to girls etc exists.  Have you considered online dating?  there are some dating webistes out there that cater for people with a range of disabilites.  It sounds like you could get so much out of something like this, perhaps even start chatting to a girl in a similar situation to yourself who also lacks a bit of confidence with now pressure on each of you.  Emails back and forth are less of a pressure on yourself rather than face to face.

Emilymarie77 · Answer

U aren't going to be a virgin 4 ever - lets not be so dramatic... =) Also, how abt not letting something like Asperger's control your fate on everything. If you give an ailment too much power over you, it will be a detriment.

My suggestion is to try and be more personable and try to be more outgoing. It may be hard but you never know if you can do something unless you try. I have faith that you are an educated and well spoken person - use that to your advantage. =)

jacquesvol · Answer

"Update: Seriously, Female Aspies do not have it as hard as Male Aspies do"

In general women have it easier to get a guy than guys to get a girl. A tradition in most societies.

But it's not impossible for you to have a girlfriend, always remember that.

jacquesvol · Answer

I am not a psychologist but I'm inclined to think that Asperger is not a "nothing or all" problem, thus that there are different degrees. In that reasoning dating or a relationship should depend on the degree of Asperger and your way of coping with it (finding alternative contact possibilities which are acceptable to you).

Emilymarie77 · Answer

Sometimes you just need to pick yourself up by the bootstraps, quit ur *itchin' and make life how you want it!     The asking whys or wishing this and that's are not going to chg your reality!

Rainbows · Answer

Yeah, but only if you are extremely persistent and don't mind being embarrassed a lot while you're doing it.

Rainbows · Answer

You're really depressing me with all of these updates.

locke1217 · Answer

if you want a girl friend then take MDMA & talk to girls. & if that doesn't work than rape some chick. Just because you're mentally ill doesn't mean you can't have sex.

jonathanlong · Answer

be happy you aren't fat and ugly as well as an aspie and are bipolar, unlike me, so bitch stop complaining

locke1217 · Answer

hahaha you can't even answer questions on this fagot web site

locke1217 · Answer

lol Aspergers is a fagot illness. GROW SOME BALLS & TALK 2 GIRLS.

I have this disease & I know how to get girls. Just rape them. hahaha. what do I care about a Girls feelings, they don't care about us. lol

Is it impossible for a Guy with Asperger Syndrome to start dating and get a girlfriend? Is it or not?

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