How does a person with asperger's find a girlfriend?

[Precipice]

I'm 22, virgin af 🙃 and I've only been ever diagnosed with ADD but asperger's symptoms describe me to the point where I can't deny it. Not that i want to, but my whole life i just thought i was different/stupid and I would go through some mental gymnastics to convince myself that I'm different but not to the point where it's debilitating. I was somewhat in denial. Anyways...

Social interactions can be hard and feel awkward before they even start. I've never been on a date or asked a girl out before. I always brushed it off thinking i really don't need one right now (which i always feel is somewhat true) but i definitely do want one. Though if not a girlfriend, a friend that is a girl would suffice. They're simply a little more understanding and don't talk about sex or stupid sh*t all the time like a lot of guys do. I have no friends because i grew out of spending time with my inauthentic ones. I'm so tired of being alone so any advice will do.

[Nick568]

I have aspergers and I've had a few relationships and dated a fair bit. I used to an awkward nerd in high school who never dated but everything changed around 18-19.

My advice more than anything is be confident. Aspies often lack confidence when we're younger due to our awkward social skills. Accept the fact that you'll never be totally normal and embrace the fact that you're different. Love yourself and don't be afraid of getting rejected, rejection will happen when you date, remember there's plenty of fish in the sea. Don't ever be that simp who chases after girls who aren't interested in you😂. Be confident, be yourself and be passionate about your life and trust me, you'll find girls who'll want to go out with you.

Another thing is be considerate and be open to new experiences and perspectives. Aspies often get lost in our own minds. It's important to remind yourself to hear other people's perspectives and to talk about things other people are interested in (especially when dating). Open yourself up to new perspectives and experiences and don't get stuck to a strict aspie routine. Be adventurous and be interesting, that's also an attractive quality.

[Precipice]

Thank you very much

[Nick568]

no problem bro. I also forgot to add two things. 1) Make sure to dress nice and kinda cool, have good hygiene etc.

And b) Don't lose all hope just because you don't find a girlfriend right away. I assume you're new to dating, which means you won't be great when you first start. Dating is a skill that you get better at with practice. You might find the right girl right away, but more than likely you'll either dump or get dumped a few times before finding a girlfriend. That's normal.

[PrudentGuy]

I regret to notice that society in general think that people with asperger are less intelligent or inferior.

Its a hard fact hard for you to digest.

But do stand-up for yourself and others with ADD. Show society that you can be intelligent and even superior to "normal" people.

This post is a good example. If I skip reading the part that you have asperger, I won't even have the slightest idea you are one.

And being socially awkward and unable to get a girl friend is a common issue among guys here in G@G.

This means asperger and being socially awkward could be mutually exclusive.

Hence my opinion is, learn social skills and gear yourself with attributes that you can show society as being useful, responsible and respectable.

Doing so will place you at the same level as the general population. When that time comes, getting a girl to be your friend should not be difficult, especially online for a start.

[coderedcerberus]

I'll just say this from my perspective because I'm not sure what other girls think:

What I look for in a boyfriend is compatibility in family values and personality. I personally don't mind people with mental disorders as long as the relationship isn't abusive. If they need gelp, I will offer what I can. If a guy can't be committed or provide a happy relationship (not material wise, but emotional wise), it's a no go.

For actually FINDING a girl, try looking into befriending people online (that you KNOW for sure aren't a catfish) and being more social (within reason with this pandemic). Try inviting a coworker to a casual hangout!

For just friends that are girls, just act friendly towards people in general! I can elaborate more if needed.

[sweetcocoa_]

Just be yourself and find someone who makes you feel comfortable.

[ArrowheadSW]

I used to hang out with a lady who was Asperger's almost to the letter. She was recently divorced after being married for about 30 years to a guy who was Asperger's. So, it can be done. Maybe find someone similar?

[Precipice]

I'll start there.

[Unit1]

If you ask me, for men, who do not have asperger it's just as difficult to find female friends or a girlfriend. I'm saying this because i do not have aspergers and am considered to have the upper hand in dating by my peers and some others but alas, the girls don't love me.

in my experience most of them place more importance on social media presence 🙄

[Avicenna]

It’s very hard. Try to get someone to teach you how to read the signs and body language.

[worldscolide]

I cannot advise you on this, but I am here to tell you there is hope, my wife is an aspie. We have beenarried 5 years.

[Anonymous]

Talk to girls. Force yourself into situations where that's possible.

Also doesn't hurt to go to the gym, buy fitting clothes and get hot.

I have Aspergers too, and have had multiple girlfriends and multiple flings, because I force myself into a position for that to happen. If you just sit at home all the time feeling lonely, occasionally swiping through tinder, you have almost no opportunity to even meet a girl.

[Gavilar1]

I would say make friends first, true friends
Life is always better with friends

[Anonymous]

It's a reminder of my lifelong hatred how Society or the world doesn't place any importance on improving our ability to connect with others

[havingfun101]

A girlfriend with aspergers?

[Precipice]

😯 you sir are on to something

[havingfun101]

Is that something yo momma?

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

Dont.