Is a personal crisis a real reason for a break-up?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of 7 months has been dealing with a number of personal issues (ie: family, career, etc) that has put a strain on not only his life, but on our relationship too this past month. He's told me how much he cares about me, how much he enjoys our time together, and how I am such a good person in his life. However, he feels that because of the circumstances in his life right now, it doesn't see it as being fair to me because so much of his time is preoccupied with trying to sort things through. And so, he is letting me go. I haven't spoken with him since he said this to me three days ago because I don't know what to think right now. He's been leaving me messages on my phone, emails, msn messages, and wants to talk about this further in person, but I have not responded to any of his messages; I just don't know what to say. He said that he wants to keep in touch with the intention of picking up our relationship again. I am just so confused. If he was so happy with me, why is he letting me go? I believe him, but I don't understand. I *will* call him back, either tomorrow or the next day so we can make a time to see each other, but I feel I want to make sense of this all beforehand and I just can't. Guys, does his behavior make sense to you?

[Kaybee517]

Assuming his reason is true, I think I can understand. Yes a personal crisis is a real reason. I'm actually going thru the exact same thing with my ex/ b/f. We were in a relatioinship for almost 1 year and over the course of the year, he became unemployed and also as a result hindered him in other things he was trying to get done for himself that impacted our relationship. He relied on me as a source of strength for the majority of our relationship. It made him love me that much more to know I'd sacrifice. To me it wasn't fair so early on and I started to feel resentment. I communicated my feelings. It took a tremendous strain on our relationship too. ALthough I loved him so much, I felt I had to let him go to get his life in order. I broke up with him and explained I didn't want to but it was more important to make sure he can be able to get his life together now and focus vs. me be in the relationship and have resentment and take it out on him . I still love him, but know the timing isn't right. I needed to know as a man he can take care of his business. That's why I split. I think maybe your boyfriend sees that's what he needs to do for himself. Maybe he needs to regain his inner confidence and strength on his own so as to not drag you down with him. That seems like a self less thing to do. I think his reaching out to you is a good sign he wants to keep in touch and keep that door open to the possibility of reconnecting again once the time is right. (That's what happening to me) Perhaps he feels at this point in his life, he can't provide you what you deserve.

[Kickrockslosers]

We all have to make a decision whether to drag someone we love through our personal drama, and whether we should bail. It really says a lot about a person who can stay through the hard times but being 2gether less than a year? idk? If the guy just turned N2 like your new born baby, then bail. But it he tries 2 get it 2gether & is attempting 2 compensate in some way then give the guy a chance? Usually I feel resentment if he's not even trying. If a person is not trying that's when I bail. KRL!

[Kaybee517]

Yeah..I agree with what you're saying but in my situation my ex was unemployed within 2-3 mos of us being together. So after almost a year of that , I had to question how hard he was trying AND he was almost 10 years older than me, so I have higher expectations for a grown man to be able to handle his own affairs. After a while I felt like I was doing all the work. Relationships are 50/50 and that's not cool when it's one-sided. I needed to remove myself from that. Not healthy.

[shawtyx3life]

It could be, possible because he doesn't want you to have to deal with this, like he getting stressed and then that stress can also cause the relationship go down in a bad way, something that no body wants it to happen, if you want him back, just let him know that you are always going to be there, and that it doesn't matter how bad the circumstances are you are always going to be with him for support.. If he loves you he will get back with you!. And if you 2 get back together I guess you going to have to be more comprehensive towards him, and his situation.. If you really want him back try it out, and tell him how much you need him, 7 months is kinda long time don't let go something that you know you want! Hopefully his siutation will get better soon :) have faith. (= and I hope this helps

*best whishes*

[nikral]

you need to stay together and help him through his crisis. he might think it is unfair and maybe it is but it won't last forever and trust me it will suck for you if you break up cause of this(even if you plan to get back together) and it will make his crisis even worse because he won't have someone to turn to and talk to. you need to explain to him that you want to stay with him and that its not unfair to you because you love him and want to help him through these hard times.

after you tell him that then you will have a good idea of weather or not the personal crisis is the reason for breaking up. if you stay together then he was telling the truth and that was the real reason but if he still says no or tells you a different reason, the real reason, then its time to move on.

[sumina7]

It does not make any sense.

A personal crisis is a good time to get help and emotional support from your loved ones. In fact this would make the relationship stonger when the crisis has blown over.

May be he feels that he is too much of a liability for you right now and wants to be "fair" to you. But on the other hand, may be he does not want to be in a relationship right now.

In any case, you must talk things over and seek clarification. Over aanlysing won't get you the answer.

You also need tothing carefully, what if after you put all the effort in helping him and supporting him, still the relationship does not work out?

[The-Dude-Next-Door]

If he wanted to remain in a relationship with you then he would use you as a source of strength and encouragement through hard times. His behavior is not logical, or he actually wants to dump you.

[Anonymous]

I'm going through a very similar situation right now. I'm curious to know how things turned out for you?