Do women purposefully make dating hard for guys as revenge for patriarchy?

Question

Sometimes I talk with people about how it's harder for guys to date/get laid than girls. That's just a given. I'm not here to argue that because there have been social experiments measuring how many respondents men & women got when point blank asking for sex. 

Now. Guys usually have to pay for most if not all of a date, be very careful how they conduct themselves, they have to wait till the girl is ready, there are dire consequences if he doesn't. 

Sometimes I just hear the refutal "Well men have been oppressing women for thousands of years". 

"But I'm not the same men as those ones"
"That's what Israeli occupiers say 'Oh but Arabs have been oppressing Jews for thousands of years prior'." etc 

It's not a great rhetorical argument, but I guess it might shed some truth on where this chivalrous attitude stems from. 

Is dating so hard for guys, because this is the consequence of the previous century when women were pretty much considered property, couldn't ask out guys, could be subject to violence or abuse, and usually expected to deal with it? Now that Western women have been empowered, do they expect this generation to overcompensate & pay for it, and frankly, give guys a hard time just because they want a girlfriend, or failing that, sex? 

Discuss.

ScruffyNerfHerder · Accepted Answer

Patriarchy theory is nonsense. Women certainly have had it rough, but there isn't a grand conspiracy where men plan on how they're going to oppress women--never been invited to one of those meetings if they exist. More likely, there are biological/evolutionary reasons based on gender why things developed the way they did, which then got distorted and oppressive with the adoption and spread of conservative religions and brainwashed traditions.

The reason why guys have trouble dating? They aren't adjusting to a woman being able to make her own choices, and they aren't being trained about the realities of what women find attractive due to vestigial puritanism. She has her biological preferences, and if you aren't constantly improving yourself to be a desirable man, then she won't date you, nor should she.

I think things are better in dating today, in many ways. It certainly hasn't reached an equilibrium of any kind, but by and large, women and men can judge each other on their merits and their overall attractiveness, rather than having an arranged marriage, a failed marriage neither can leave, so on and so on. Societal attitudes and traditions just haven't caught up to the new (and more natural) reality yet.

Honestly, anyone who believes in a patriarchy or matriarchy, in feminism or men's rights, is operating from a very childish mindset based on fear, misunderstanding, and demonized caricatures of the opposite sex. There's no real place for that nonsense in the mind of an adult.

If you are having trouble with the opposite sex, own the fact that YOU are your own problem, man or woman. Learn to empathize with the opposite sex, recognize what's important to THEM, NOT just yourself. Become the most desirable person you can be, and be self-affirming in the process.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Women will go on vacation, have sex with whoever they want (they will even lower their standards considerably), come back home and act like nothing ever happened.

Women will date a man her family will strongly disapprove of because she has daddy issues and wants to get revenge on her Dad.

Women will be dying to be with you, constantly stare and go crazy over you, yet act like you belong with all the other scum on the bottom of her shoe.

Women think they are superior to men because they tend to not stress looks as much as men when it comes to the opposite sex. Men and women both are not in control of what they are attracted to, so this allows women to assume men are just a bunch of pigs.

Dude seriously what do you think?

BushBabyBoo · Accepted Answer

Tbh I just read the question and not the body of the text. Girls "make it hard" because we're sick of guys treating us as if we should be easy for mens sake. We "make it hard" because we learn from experience that we need to be selective. Its not a conscious thought of years of oppression, but more like a realization that oppression, sexism and patriarchy is a cultural mindset that doesn't go away just because our wages get bumped up a little, and we learn that through genuine experience with guys to have ridiculous expectations of what a girlfriend, or any girl in his life, should be. Do you all think you just freaking deserve a woman just for trying?
Also, in my experience men who pay for dates INSIST on paying, most normal people just split the bill.

lumos · Accepted Answer

Dating is perceived to be "harder" for men nowadays simply because women feel more comfortable with exercising their right to say "no".
Also, a lot of women make it hard simply because they don't want to be seen as "too easy". If women show interest and take initiative, they're "too easy", "too clingy", "kind of desperate", "needy", "slutty" etc. If women don't show as much interest because they don't want to be "too easy", then they're suddenly "cold", "bitchy", "just using you for attention", "self-entitled", "high maintenance", "too much work" etc. It's SO hard to find a middle ground there.

Krieszta · Accepted Answer

Haha revenge :D If I want this guy seriously, I let him pay. It means he is able to take care of somebody. It is not about exploiting or revenge, it is about "look, I really want you and I am able to take care of you". And if the girl is smart and wants you, she will not make ju a 100 dollar bill. If I am with a guy on a date, I find it very nice of him to pay for a cofee or drink. Or cinema if he invites me. But when has to pay more money, like food in a restaurant, I ask him to pay for myself, especially if it is in the beginning of a relationship.

IPreferToListen · Answer

Looking at America
1) The Patriarchy is slowly dying, has been significantly since the late 19th century and especially since The Great Depression and WWII helped to defeat many of the stigmas about women and work and what was appropriate for women. Look at post WWII and the reaction to the white picket fence family.

2) I either split the bill with girls I go out with, pay every other, or figure out if they're traditional and read the ques they send me.

3) Sex, women have a much higher investment in sex than men do. She might get pregnant and deal with either becoming a mom or going through a abortion. As a guy it's just "Oh that was fun" cuddle some and go to sleep.

4) Oppression of women and equal opportunity in the western world. There are some places we can be equal and other places we can't. Take the military for example, loot at the APFT test, maxing one test barely passes the other. We are genetically different in our makeup thanks to Y chromosome us males are given during our trip in our mom's womb. Employment, pay, stuff like that will eventually even out and be more equal.

5) meet a real feminist, not the crazy psycho I hate men one's but a real feminist who actually works towards making women and men as equal as possible. I'm sure you're eyes will be opened a bit on some issues.

Anonymous · Answer

I dont think most women especially most young women understand history enough for this to be a main reason and most women date the way they date because society has created delusional beliefs about relationships.

Even if someone was to say to women that men have oppressed women for 1000's of years, its not a main reason for women to be hard to get. I beleive the number one reason is because today most women are shallow and feel they deserve the best and this is normal for young people so they are most certainly delusional. Most women also want someone who is totally devoted and obsessed with them if they like them back, if they dont like that person enough (indecisive) then that person is a creep and stalker so its kind of a test phase as you casually date/chase. Guys need to realize if a girl is interested or not though if a girl declines your offer dont give up right then and there try talking to then agaib some time later maybe 2-3 times and then give up and go find another woman to talk to. I strongly believe that it could take a while for a women to accept a man though because most women are indecisive, that whole choose someone in 10 seconds crap is a lie unless she found her unrealistic spouse or is finally willing to settle. In my experiences most women never suddenly get into relationships unless she thinks he's perfrct or she is actively looking for a bf / as some say desperate. Like I said though I believe these test phases are because women, especially young women are indecisive because they are inexperienced. As you get older it gets better, women begin to realize what they really want and that what they wanted before in a relationship probably doesn't exist outside of a movie.

juliaanita · Answer

I think that the interaction between sexes is largely because of of our biology. We are naturally more careful in the way we conduct ourselves with men. Men are physically larger, stronger, mostly more aggressive. Wouldn't you be more careful about whom you picked to be around if they were, say, one hundred pounds bigger than you? We are the ones who uhh... bear the consequences of having sex, as we will carry the baby for nine months in our bodies, and then nurture it if the male is not present. Our social status may have changed over the years, but our physical status has not. So you see, we are biologically more tuned to be careful in whom we choose, give guys a hard time, if you will, because its a survival instinct for the female of the speciesl. Doesn't mean we don't like guys. We love them, honestly our bodies yearn for them. But we have to be careful. I hope this makes sense. :)

Anonymous · Answer

It's not a revenge for Patriarchy it's a result of Patriarchy. Patriarchy hurts men and women. Men pay for dates traditionally because women were not allowed their own money. Women can get laid more easily maybe, but if they have a lot of sex or admit to enjoying sex as much as guys they are shamed for it. So obviously they're going to be less willing than guys to put out, because if a guy has a lot of sex then he's a player, if a woman does she's a slut. And then guys are expected to be sex crazed horn dogs who are a danger to women (which is super offensive to men in my opinion) .

Anonymous · Answer

I beeline most do to a certain extent. Why do you think you hear and see articles on where have the men gone and the 'sexodus'. Men are tired and fed up so they opt out or go to foreign country. No wonder why I hear people say not to date American women or western women. It's ridiculous here! There are exceptions of course

Anonymous · Answer

Nah, girls have more at risk, biologically, so we're wired to be more selective. There are fewer men we're extremely sexually attracted to, so it becomes a balancing act of finding a guy we find somewhat attractive AND get along with AND is reliable.

Whereas guys are wired to want to sleep with most women and to think about attraction only at first and not evaluate whether they like the girl until after the sexual novelty wears off.

Anonymous · Answer

I doubt your on dates or in the bedroom with the men who complain about not having luck with women. You really don't know how they treat women on dates. There is no reason to have to put up with unpleasant behavior.

LauraMarx · Answer

It is nice that u can use the genocide of Palestinians as a rhetorical point about misandry, that is definitely a good thing to do in your posts.

Jersey1 · Answer

The woman spends a lot more than a man or clothes, hair,, nails etc to look nice for the date so I will pick up the dinner bill.

James687 · Answer

When your a shredded sick cunt like i am, i make it hard for girls since i prefer to aquire my dance moves and disregard females... honestly i dont give a fuck what girls think

Anonymous · Answer

Girls don't think that deep. They don't do stuff to get back at the patriarchy lol

been_waiting · Answer

No to everything. No to you

Anonymous · Answer

Patriarchy? LOL...

Anonymous · Answer

Sure, why not.

Do women purposefully make dating hard for guys as revenge for patriarchy?

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