My wife is texting and trying to get her boss in bed?

[TrueblueInfantry]

I don't get it. My wife has been texting her male boss constantly, and maintains that they are just friends. I got into her phone this morning, and read her texts. She's been trying to get him to sleep with her, and where he has been flirting back, he said no to sleeping with her. I don't get it. I change who I am to be the husband and man she needed, and she responds this way. I'm having trouble understanding what happened or what I'm doing wrong, and kind of need advice on how to show her that I am a good husband and man and that she can love me again. Her boss is also engaged by the way

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

You need to have a very frank, open and honest conversation with her telling her what you've found. If you want to work on things, and you should since you married the woman, then you need total honesty from both of you. There will be a reason this has happened. It doesn't mean it is someone's fault, but there will be reasons.

If you both wish to work on it - and I really think you should since you vowed to stay together through thick and thin - then you may need some help, some couples counselling, but she has to want to work things out. She has to want it to work. If she doesn't then there is no point.

[BelleGirl21]

This is really difficult. Did you have an emotional separation earlier? It sounds like she isn't emotionally committed to you.
Confront her on it but be open to her reasoning (I'm not saying you have to agree, just listen to where she's coming from)
You should also confront the boss and probably go see a marriage counselor.
Sorry this is happening to you.

[TrueblueInfantry]

I've suggested counseling but I'm not too sure if she's willing to go. At least he said no. She's the one pushing him. But yes, we did have some emotional desperation. That's why I changed. I realized what I was letting go.

[BelleGirl21]

Her trust in you may have been broken, that's going to take time to heal. Try again to get her into counseling, you need an unbiased 3rd party that is hearing both sides of the situation.

[BelleGirl21]

P. s. I'm going through something similar so I understand where you're coming from. It's hard when you still care about the person and have built a life together.

[TrueblueInfantry]

It's really hard. I'm putting so much in and giving so much to her, yet I feel like it's one sided. She fell in love with me once, it can happen again, right?

[BelleGirl21]

It can happen again, but if she's already closed that door it might not :(

[Cmasterson]

First off, why would you want to tolerate this? Secondly, of course I don't know your whole situation, but I assume You did something wrong if you had to change who you are? Anyway- I would confront her about it, because it truly isn't fair, no matter what the excuse is, a relationship can't work if both aren't working at it. Best of luck

[TrueblueInfantry]

I cheated on her in the past. Before we were married. Our finances are seriously messed up right now, and it is stressful with three kids and no money. I get that. I get that I hurt her in the past. That was four years ago. I thought we were doing better. Honestly? Im afraid to confront her on it. I don't want her to leave. I keep hoping that if I ignore it that maybe she'll realize what she's doing and throwing away. I changed EVERYTHING for her. I pay attention to her now. I show her affection now. I do those little romantic things all the time now. Buy her flowers out of the blue, clean the house, cook for her, rub her feet when she gets off work. I just don't understand.

[JuicyBrain]

@Asker Now you ALMOST know how it feels to be cheated on. To really know, she should've slept with her boss.

[TrueblueInfantry]

Yeah. It sucks.

[Candy12345]

Well... You should leave her because she is a homewrecker. You don't deserve this. She's wrecking her own relationship as well as her bosses relationship.

[TrueblueInfantry]

I want to fix it. We have three kids together and we built a life together.

[Candy12345]

Well... 😐 since you cheated on her in the past, maybe she never forgave you and always secretly feels betrayed by you. I know I would if my husband did that to me.

[TrueblueInfantry]

I know she probably does. She's said she forgave me. But I thought we were good now. We seemed okay.

[Candy12345]

all her trust is probably gone. Well, your relationship is pretty much over because you broke her trust and she still hasn't probably healed and she never will. In the back of her mind you are a cheater. I know because I felt the same way once.

[detlef]

The only thing you need to "show her" is the door.

Tell her you read the texts and it's over.

I know this is a terrible situation. It sucks. Sorry. But let her go. For your benefit, primarily.

[jacquesvol]

Maybe she misses something.

[hellionthesage]

communication and marriage counseling, barring that divorce, she was trying/did cheat on you and that is unexceptable behavior.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Honestly this is really tough. Im just going to see what other guys say.

[TrueblueInfantry]

I love my wife. I don't want it to end. I want to fix our marriage and I believe we can.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Honestly man, dont love somebody who doesn't love you back. Id confront her and ask if she likes her boss so. much why the hell did she marry you.

[TrueblueInfantry]

We just moved back home from Georgia I just left the army. She just started here just over a month ago. The dudes engaged and I was okay I guess with just flirting. Kind of. Not really. But this has escalated and I don't know how to confront her without it exploding and becoming worse. She makes me feel like and look the bad guy for reading her texts and invading her privacy. Which I guess I've done. But she's the one actually straying here.

[moebond2]

Leave her for fuck's sake. Omg I feel sorry for you. She's unfaithful, if she wants to sleep with her boss, Im sure she tried to sleep with other men... coworker... even.

[gapminder]

You can't fix that kind of deception, kick that bitch to the curb. It's not you it actually is "her" because she's trying to get with him intentionally.

[Agirlcalledkill]

Well, the only thing you did wrong was marry her.

[cinderelli]

you should leave her..