I just found out my girlfriend has cut herself in the past and tried to commit suicide?

[polakpride]

she had been doing this before I started going out with her and I'm worried that she might do something drastic again and I really don't want to loose her.

btw since I asked her out nothing like this has happened and you wouldn't even know that she had been depressed

Updates

+1 y

clarify this is meant to ask how should I handle the relationship

[hisangel]

I'm not sure what your question is.

I imagine you are wondering if she will do it again or how you can stop her from doing it.

From my experience, she will probably do it again. The cutting, not necessarily the suicide.

When I was younger I cut myself but actually had about a decade long timeframe where I didn't and had no desire too. But cutting is like drug use. When things are well, you don't have a desire to do it. It's when things go very bad that you have the urge too. So when she is on top of the world, the feeling dies down. When life starts to get bad, the urge will pop it's head up again. What can be difficult about that is problems in a relationship can be a huge factor in depression. So that may effect you some day.

I can't say 100% why she does it but for me it came from a place of when I was hurt, I felt like I deserved it, so I hurt myself even more as a way to remind myself that I did. It comes from a very masochist place inside.

Like I said, I went 10 years without doing it but my life got completely out of control at one point, felt worthless, and did it a few times over a couple months. I never told my boyfriend because he was the one that hurt me and I didn't want to use that over his head like "Never upset me or I will hurt myself!" So he never knew. Mostly because I did it for myself, not to make a point to him. I wanted to hurt myself. But I think it's important to understand that. If she hurts herself after a fight or something, you need to realize that is her choice. You can't pretend to be perfect to prevent it.

If she is really down, you can always hug her and tell her how much she means to you. That will definitely help. But depending on how hurt she is, it may not always work.

The most important thing is to accept her. She doesn't want you living in fear of losing her. She wants to be accepting as she is. Some people drink themselves sick, some people try to hurt others, but her thing is hurting herself. Hopefully in time she will learn healthier ways to deal with extreme depression. But your acceptance will mean the world to her. Even if she does cut herself. Letting her know you love her can help with a lot of the pain.

[polakpride]

Thats what I was thinking but I just wanted to here someone elses view but I'm realizing that no mater how hard I try I can't pretend to be perfect and I haven't always been

[hisangel]

Yeah just be you. She is responsible for her own actions. Even if you are loving, she can just be in a bad place and want to hurt herself. So if you are supportive and kind, that's all you can do.