What is femininity?

[Anonymous]

Society has changed. What does femininity mean in 2016?

[Anonymous]

The woman described in Sting's "Fields Of Gold" has, for me, an idealized femininity about her. What do we know about her? She's assertive about what she wants from her man and she's appreciative when she gets it. She recognizes and responds to her lover's romantic cues. She's a mother. She has long hair. (That's not necessary, but—damn it—it sure helps.) She has given herself to love and to a bond so strong that even the heavens are jealous. (And that last bit is masculine, too, but we're here for feminine today.)

I think a feminine woman is free to be herself. She's free from society's expectations. She's free from her own insecurities (and she may well have a few). She's never trapped by her man, both because she would never allow it and he instinctively knows it isn't necessary In the first place.

She gives love and time freely, and wants and graciously accepts these things from others just as well. She's involved in her community and is motivated by her desire to make it a better place for her family. Her parents, her children, her siblings, and her extended family and friends hold her in high regard and are a tiny bit jealous of her man because he gets to spend more time with her than they do.

Despite her being free and treasuring her freedom, she needs and allows herself to be taken, to be swept away. She knows this only strengthens her relationship with her man and contributes to making them both a better version of themselves.

She can do and be all this and still wear pants if she wants to. (And I mean that literally and figuratively.)

[Opinion Owner]

Hi Asker. You said you would reveal your definition when the question closed. I'm still very curious!

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you! I really appreciated MHO on this one!

[Asker]

You're welcome! I haven't forgotten about giving you my definition of femininity. I didn't login for a while so I'm sorry to have taken so long.

[Opinion Owner]

No worries. Looking forward to it.

[HeckYeah]

My future wife-my dream girl

s3.amazonaws.com/.../medium_landscape.jpg

cdn04.cdn.justjared.com/.../...age-pics-nyc-01.jpg

images6.fanpop.com/.../...sen-36537848-250-400.jpg

[Asker]

@HeckYeah Being a raccoon?

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2147135-do-you-think-that-raccoons-are-hot

[HeckYeah]

Yep, raccoons are hot!!

[Rainie_]

In my perspective a feminine woman to me is someone who embraces her womanhood. She doesn't feel the constant need to compete with men in every single area in life in the name of equality because she knows men and women have different qualities in some areas and she embraces that, however if she is good at and likes some of the things men are good at she goes ahead and do it anyway and doesn't feel like it affects her femininity or feel the need to prove herself either.
They are elegant and even if they do stereotypically manly things they don't lose that femininity no matter what they do. She's also a confident woman who loves her body and takes care of herself and also embraces her sexuality. She's often a bit of a superwoman handling her kids really well while at the same time handles other things (like a job etc), so in other words she's very skilfully efficient.
She's genuinely caring, nurturing, respectful and empathetic, and puts her family first over material things.

[Asker]

You're the only who felt comfortable enough to give a definition

[RJGraveyTrain]

Okay, femininity will always have a technical definition, but to me femininity (as I came up) was being able to run a household and a career, to be nurturing but capable of handling emotional turmoil like a pro, to be able to wear lipstick and still be humble enough to know that it doesn't define you beyond expression.

Something like that, ya know?

[openthedoors]

thebodyisnotanapology.com/.../...1432345833478.jpg
That there is your modern feminine woman

[Asker]

Guys are lucky, aren't they?

[openthedoors]

Ya for sure they are! I would turn lesbian for that hot chick.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

This image hurts my chest.

[HeckYeah]

Nah this girl is way hotter

images6.fanpop.com/.../...sen-36537848-250-400.jpg

[ShortCircuit]

"Feminine" is a term that was intended to describe any physical or personality trait that is normal or typical of a woman. Some examples:

- long hair
- long lashes
- long nails
- short in height
- big boobs
- wide hips
- small feet
- submissive attitude
- shy/timid
- optimistic nature
- having interests in cute animals, flowers, rainbows, the color pink, or anything else sweet and beautiful

Nowadays, these things can no longer be considered "feminine" (by definition), because not as many women conform to thesw gender-specific stereotypes. People are also starting to use the term differently. A lot of men use the term "feminine" interchangeably with "attractive" - as if it makes someone less of the gender they are, if they subjectively unattractive to you *rolls eyes*.

Women are guilty of the same thing, just replace the word "feminine" with "masculine".

[alphadoggystyle]

femininity is about being a woman, some may have subjective views about what that means but nobody can change biology and some biological traits are thus feminine and some are not, regardless of what people think, this has not changed in 2016.

[Touchmehxx]

How I say it about being a woman, some women aren't feminine

[alphadoggystyle]

@Touchmehxx Some women are more masculine, but they are not the norm, so they cannot be used to describe the basis of femininity, just like how feminine men who are not the norm are not used to describe typical male characteristics.

[Touchmehxx]

Feminine women aren't the norm, masculine women aren't the norm; everyone's different. There is no norm when it comes to this. Femininity isn't the norm

[Touchmehxx]

And even so. It doesn't make it wrong to be masculine

[alphadoggystyle]

@Touchmehxx Wrong, most women are more feminine than most men, ie most women have the traits that we describe as feminine while most men dont, this is the reason why we call these traits feminine in the first place, and the opposite is true as well. If there was no set of traits that where more common in one gender or not, then the terms masculinity and femininity and the traits they describe would not exist in the first place.

[Touchmehxx]

Yea I understand that.
Doesn't make being masculine disgusting

[Asker]

@alphadoggystyle What are those biological traits? All I hear is "wearing makeup, having long hair, etc". Most people can define masculinity, yet can't figure out femininity.

[qwertyKitchen]

Asker, I think people know femininity when they see it, but are afraid to define it simply because it's such a hot-button thing. I have to admit I had a bit of trepidation posting my opinion for fear of being labeled a sexist and pandering to women all at the same time. Masculinity is easy because nobody is going to get on your case if you say muscles, short hair, flannel lumberjack shirts and a low voice. It's not that simple with women. Y'all are a lot more complex.

[Asker]

@qwertyKitchen I understand that. I just wanted alphadoggystyle to develop his opinion a little bit because he didn't really answer the question and because I'm curious.

I know some guys are afraid of being "sexist" but I didn't post my question to shame anyone. I want to hear people's unfiltered opinions.

[qwertyKitchen]

OK. I'm sorry for having butt in on this thread, then. Interesting you've only gotten a very few real answers. Not even half the women could dedine it. And some guys only hear "feminism" and go off the deep end. How do you define it?

[Asker]

@qwertyKitchen I never said you were unwelcome to the discussion.

I actually asked this question because women are scared to talk about femininity or to give their personal definition of it.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2142454-why-is-femininity-undervalued

I can tell you my definition of femininity when the question closes.

[qwertyKitchen]

Got it.

Is the linked question yours as well?

I very much look forward to reading yours.

Thanks!

[Asker]

@qwertyKitchen Yeah, I asked that question. Men posted the most interesting opinions.

And thank you :)

[qwertyKitchen]

Thank you, too. (I answered the other question, too.)

[alphadoggystyle]

@Touchmehxx I never said being masculine is disgusting, im a man, im very masculine and i am very proud of it.
Masculine is basically defined as how well a man deals with the burdens that are typically placed on us throughout history, providing and protecting, solving problems and not relying on others to take care of you. Women for the most part did not have these burdens to anywhere near the same degree, so thats why men are typically more productive, work harder and longer hours, and in more demanding jobs (especially when it comes to manual labor) and also maintaining order with our greater leadership skills and risk taking ability (which is affected by testosterone).
Feminine qualities biologically has adapted to be about using beauty to attract a suitable mate to protect and provide for the offspring, and then other skills that help with caring and nurturing the offspring for the next generation. These things are deeply rooted in our biology in my opinion.

[Touchmehxx]

Well no actually. Things can change. And that stuff about work etc isn't but biological. It would only be biological if the work was physical because yes men are physically stronger, however women can get up to this level. And women aren't made to produce offspring, yes I get what u mean when u say they are because of the womb etc, but that's not all they're for. A woman doesn't have to have kids, she can be single, independent and have a snake instead of a kid if she wanted too

[alphadoggystyle]

@Touchmehxx what i said earlier was true, deal with it. Our biology won't change for tens of thousands of years at best, and even then it will only be very small mutations. If we change ourselves earlier with bioenginering then we won't be male and female any longer, and men will still have more potential due to our higher diversity with the y chromosome.
Women cannot get to mens level in terms of physical strenght. There is a significant difference.
you're wrong again, women are designed to give birth, thats why the other functions are limited compared to the male who isn't restricted by having to give birth, nature made men better at most tasks to be able to protect the females who are very vulnerable while pregnant. So if a woman decides to not have a kid, she will not just magically gain the capabilities of men which we gained through millions of years of evolution. It doesn't work like that kid.

[Touchmehxx]

I didn't say it works like that; kid. But women are capable of much more than giving birth

[Touchmehxx]

And yes women can get up to a mans strength because not all men have the same strength. A woman could work out every day, build muscle and be as strong as a man

[alphadoggystyle]

@Touchmehxx Pathetic, you're a kid, and you think like a kid, im not a kid and i dont think like one, you're not on my maturity level.

Womens primary ability is to give birth, and skills associated with nurturing the offspring. When it comes to pretty much everything else, men are significantly more capable than women.
And you're wrong again, women in general cannot get to mens level of strength, which you implied in your initial post. A very small selection of women might surpass a very small selection of men, but in general, vast majority of men are significantly stronger than vast majority of women, and most men also have a higher strength potential than most women when it comes to training and lifting weights. So a woman who trains might reach the strenght of a below average male who doesn't train, but if that guy starts to train he will surpass her easily again, testosterone makes a big difference.

[Touchmehxx]

I don't think like a kid. I'm saying women are capable of stuff. And they are. And when it comes to everything else how are men more capable? You're talking through ur arse. Yes they may be better at strength activities but how about lawyer, nurse, doctor etc. You don't even know what you're talking about and the fact you brought my age into this shows how much you're out of your depth

[alphadoggystyle]

@Touchmehxx You clearly think like a kid, its not even up for debate. Do you know the definition of capable? it just means to be able to do things, that doesn't mean women do it good, and if the only thing you can compare them to is men, then they are not performing very well at all. So compared to men they are not as capable, end of story. Men dominate STEM fields in addition to all physically demanding jobs, thats not a "maybe", its an absolute fact. And i brought your age into this because it is relevant, thats the main reason why you won't be able to understand how wrong you are. Its you who are "talking through ur arse".

[alphadoggystyle]

@Touchmehxx Men dominate stem fields because our brains are on average better suited for these types of tasks. It has nothing to do with discrimination, women are even encouraged to try these fields in our education system, with scholarships and lots of money invested into getting women into these fields, quotation laws etc.

And no, womens bodies have been designed to be optimal for giving birth which them limited in other tasks compared to men, who doesn't have that limitation, since men where designed by nature, ie evolved without the restrictions that come with having to give birth, into becoming more capable at almost all other tasks, anyone with common sense and that has studied biology would know this. Its a bit taboo to speak because women and feminists cannot handle the truth if it isn't what they want to hear. The truth is more important and the truth cannot be sexist.

[Touchmehxx]

But I don't see how that means women should stay at home

[Touchmehxx]

And say a woman was a lawyer. How would her body being suited to birth affect her knowledge

[qwertyKitchen]

@Touchmehxx @alphadoggystyle

Because I commented earlier, I keep getting updates each time you two add a post to the argument. If I may… I think you're both arguing valid points and neither is really in conflict with the other. Perhaps you're both so dead set on being right that you aren't hearing what the other has to say.

If I boil down what the two of you are arguing about… Touchme, you're saying women are perfectly capable of far more than what is considered traditionally feminine. Alpha, you're saying femininity is a thing and there are things women and men are naturally better at than the other. I personally don't see how these assertions are even remotely opposing points of view.

[Touchmehxx]

@qwertyKitchen I do believe and agree men are better at some things but that doesn't mean women shouldn't do them. Just because you say women's main thing is to have kids doesn't mean she has to or can't do other stuff

[Asker]

@Touchmehxx I have already reported your comments several times. If you want to have discussion, it's fine but please stop insulting people who have a different opinion from yours.

[Touchmehxx]

do believe and agree men are better at some things but that doesn't mean women shouldn't do them. Just because you say women's main thing is to have kids doesn't mean she has to or can't do other stuff

I said this?

[Asker]

@Touchmehxx You keep calling people names in the comments ("you're disgusting", "sexist prick") even though I've asked you to stop. Your interlocutors are rather civil towards you.

[Asker]

@Touchmehxx I did, 2 days ago in another post.

[Touchmehxx]

Oh wow two days ago in a different post. Sorry for not remembering out every conversation, I bow to you queen

[alphadoggystyle]

@qwertyKitchen Yes and i am aware of that, have been for a while now, thats what i mean with my statement that touchmehxx thinks like a kid, because she doesn't realize that nothing i said implies that women must stay at home, or that being a mother is all women can do. Im just saying men are better than women at the other things that dont involve taking care of children.

[Touchmehxx]

Not everything tho. God you're ignorant

[alphadoggystyle]

@Touchmehxx nope, its you who are ignorant, men are significantly better at vast majority of things.

[Touchmehxx]

That's honestly not true unless it's strength jobs

[alphadoggystyle]

@Touchmehxx what i said is true for most jobs, many jobs require endurance even if they dont require strenght, and as statistics show, men work significantly more hours per week compared to women on average.

[Touchmehxx]

Doesn't mean women can't just coz they don't. And how is it women's fault if they don't have long enough hours

[alphadoggystyle]

@Touchmehxx women make the choice themselves to not work as much as men, so either they cannot handle as much as men or they dont like money as much (but we both know the former reason is the truth as women love money, in fact they spend more than men do, and the reason they are able to do this is because they spend money they get from their boyfriends)

[Touchmehxx]

You say it's girls fault they don't work as much

Well it's guys fault they buy stuff for their gfs

Also how is it women's fault if the company that hires them doesn't give them a lot of hours. Anyway how is this relevant, they can still be capable

[alphadoggystyle]

@Touchmehxx you prove again how unintelligent and immature you are in your way of thinking.
Girls work less hours than men because they choose to do so, so yes of course thats the girls fault, they make the decision nobody else does. And when it comes to guys buying stuff for their girlfriends, i didn't say that was anybodys fault, im just saying this is proof of women being more materialistic than men, so the reason why they work less hours than men can not be because they value money less than men, when the evidence show they value money more than men do, yet they work less hours, so the only logical conclusion is that women are less capable of working hard compared to men.
The company does not give women less hours than men, women make the choice themselves to work part time more often than men. So again it is the fault of the woman doing that choice.

[Touchmehxx]

So if I went to a job and they gave me part time. If I said no I'm having full time. They'd say ok?

[somebodysaycheese]

In 2016?
This.

goodbyeamericainaphoto.files.wordpress.com/.../covergay.jpg

[Asker]

The new embodiment of womanhood! lmao

[Spelling95]

I don't know, but I still have the same definition that would've applied for decades: Pleasant, pleasing, girly, long hair, soft, well mannered, supportive, etc.

I'll stick with my girlfriend who is all of the above, everyone else can do whatever they want, though don't get butthurt if what you do is not considered feminine by a random guy like me.

[Malcom_Reynolds]

I think the traditional definitions of femininity and masculinity are disappearing.

Traditionally they are supposed to be opposites of each other however this was at the epidemy of gender roles and now with those dying out, so are these definitions.

[Anonymous]

When i think about what is feminine I think of nuturing, caring, softness and gracefulness.

Help with my question?
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2143909-not-really-sure-how-to-classify-my-relationship-with-a-friends-with

[Pat8707]

Femininity is uhhh... oh who am I kidding? WHO THE HELL KNOWS ANY MORE?

[Asker]

The girls know. Pick one:

goodbyeamericainaphoto.files.wordpress.com/.../covergay.jpg

thebodyisnotanapology.com/.../...1432345833478.jpg

[Anonymous]

there's no longer such thing as femininity.. feminism has taken that away.. all women now want to be men and its actually disgusting.. i miss the old school soft, delicate, lady-like woman. that is a thing of the past

[Touchmehxx]

Why is it disgusting. Some women are more masculine, they can do what they want

[ShortCircuit]

@Touchmehxx
You are right. They can do whatever they want, but that doesn't mean all men have to find that attractive - in fact, most don't.

[Touchmehxx]

@ShortCircuit well women shouldn't have to act a certain way just for guysb

[ShortCircuit]

@Touchmehxx
I didn't say they did. It depends on what is more important to you: having the "freedom" to act as you please, or recieving positive attention from guys. The only catch is that you can't have both in most cases.

[Bobbyhill1]

@Touchmehxx its clear that gender roles are still needed, but if you dont think that is the case and women can be a man like us then you would have no problem with including women in the draft? or make them labor workers? they dont last to well under these conditions, men do. There are some things that women just should bow gracefully to and realize that you can't be a man as good as a MAN can.

[Opinion Owner]

@Touchmehxx he's not saying it to be sexist.. its like me trying to tell you that i can nurture a child better than a woman.. i know i can't because women were designed to do that and do it better than men.. in that case, i would bow down and accept the fact that you're better at nurturing a child..

same thing for labor work and military, men are just better at doing those kinds of things. our bodies were designed to handle that kind of stress more so than a woman so just recognize that and accept it.. this isn't a gender war. women are better than men at some things, and men are better than women at some things.. its not sexist, its just the way it is

[Touchmehxx]

I don't believe women are better st looking after babies

[Opinion Owner]

@Touchmehxx there are things that women are better than men at, and there are things men are better than women at.. thats it.

[Touchmehxx]

It's not true. It may be true for individual men and women but not as a whole. We can adapt

[Opinion Owner]

@Touchmehxx thats not true at all.

[Touchmehxx]

Well it is but ok

[Opinion Owner]

@Touchmehxx i can't believe you won't concede that men are better at some things and women are better at others.. thats crazy

[Touchmehxx]

Omg you're not listening

For arguments sake let's say woman are better at looking after babies. What's this gotta do with soft, delicate, lady-like'

How is 'acting like a man' disgusting? How can you even act like a man, if you say you're a girl you're a girl

[Touchmehxx]

Just because women don't wanna be objects and look 'feminine' for you isn't disgusting

[Asker]

@Touchmehxx There's no need to shame anyone for having a different opinion from yours.

[Touchmehxx]

I wasn't shaming. They're being sexist. And even I I was shaming, you're shaming me for shaming

[Opinion Owner]

@Touchmehxx i was never sexist. wtf?

[Asker]

@Touchmehxx Well, this is my question so I will call out anyone who is being mean or rude to others for no valid reason.

[Opinion Owner]

thanks for being so open minded and fair.. usually, people who post questions only appreciate certain answers that might suit what they want to hear. you obviously aren't like that

[Asker]

Thanks for the kind words :)

[Opinion Owner]

and for the record., i dont hate women and im not sexist towards them

[Touchmehxx]

I didn't say u hated them...

[Touchmehxx]

Just because I believe being masculine isn't disgusting and I don't expect women to act how I want them too...

[Opinion Owner]

@Touchmehxx all i said was that men are better at some things just like women are better at some things and you called me sexist

[Bobbyhill1]

@Touchmehxx stop with this pc crap. Im not sexist at all. dont believe me? look at the success rates for women in the army in america and see how poorly they do compared to the 90% of males who make it into the army with no problem. Also remember, a girls maintenance is MUCH more expensive than a guy. Is the girl just supposed to take week breaks when she is on her period? she definitely won't be able to fight in combat correctly during that time of the month. Another thing to note, a women cannot work on a oil rig for the same reasons. Dont call me sexist for telling you the harsh truth that you can't bear to hear

[Opinion Owner]

@Bobbyhill1 well said.. its not sexism, its just reality

[Bobbyhill1]

physical labor, and war is solely designed for a men to handle, anything other than that will truly mess us up if we got into war. I'd feel safer having women just making resources while the guys are at war. the truth is, the average male is physically stronger and more athletic than a female. its that simple

[Asker]

@Bobbyhill1 You're adding fuel to the fire. I already asked her not to attack other people in the comments and I'm sure you can make a point without the ad hominem attacks.

[Touchmehxx]

@Bobbyhill1 yes because everything is about the army. I wasn't just talking about that

[Bobbyhill1]

alright alright sorry asker, but my point still stands

[Bobbyhill1]

@Touchmehxx sigh, the army was just ONE example. There are MANY examples that could be given. Another one? labor work, 96% of labor workers are male for a very good reason. Another example? men on average make more than women, because they take their jobs very seriously. A women, is more likely to take days off to spend time with family and there is nothing wrong with that. We know live in a society where people, both men and women are not happy because we completely screwed over gender roles. Dont believe me? look at the suicide rates for middle aged men, look at how many men are depressed and die so early from this due to all the stress that is put on them. Now, these rates are also going up for women because gender roles are becoming a myth now and women are trying to live a life that western men live. Im not saying we can't be complimentary without gender roles, but what I am saying is we did not approach the situation correctly. People are just overall not happy, as you can see.

[Touchmehxx]

@Bobbyhill1 men have pressure? They would have had more pressure before. Gender roles shouldn't be enforced, let people do what they want to do, just because of their dick or vag doesn't mean they should be stopped

[Bobbyhill1]

@Touchmehxx yes men do have pressure, and they also have a whole bunch of females telling them how to be ''men'' its not just a penis that makes us men by the way. I know that there isn't a line drawn between men and women psychologically, its all up to that person. what I am saying is, that men and women fit with eachother like puzzles and the roles are set in place to make sure everything is ok. For example, men were hunters because they were stronger, quicker and knew how to catch prey. Women, watched after the kids and a prime example of that in recent history was world war 2. people always look at gender roles as a bad thing. Although the whole women having no rights was wrong and I agree with that

[Touchmehxx]

@Bobbyhill1 but why should women stay and home and have kids if that's not what they wanna do. Women are just as capable eg. Lawyer doctor nurse.
Sort your life out. Just because you think gender roles are good doesn't mean everyone should conform to them. It would be disgusting to see a world again where women aren't forced into being housewives and to be seen and not heard

[Bobbyhill1]

@Touchmehxx I dont mean literally stay at home I mean in times of war they stay in america, make resources and watch over children thats what I meant. The thing is, a lady can be any of those jobs that you stated but the truth is a lot of women aren't happy working and we can see this with the amount of effort they put in compared to men

[Bobbyhill1]

you won't be able to understand what im talking about. Gender roles is needed, if not You should have no problem with women signing up for the draft in time of war, or maybe have women work on a oil rig where a lot of workers die constantly or maybe have a few women build bridges too.

[cmale123]

I think to be attractive to men. dress well and speak well. To be intelligent and smart

[Yanoa_Yanza]

In terms of behavior I really don't know... But I think feminity is a woman who is.. proud of being a woman. As lame as this sounds

[Touchmehxx]

I'm proud of being a woman but I'm not stereotypically feminine

[Yanoa_Yanza]

@Touchmehxx Yeah that's why I said I don't know about the personality xD

[Anonymous]

Isn't "femininity" the smell that comes from the crotch area of a girl's undies?

[Asker]

Suuuure.

[Raymond_Reddington]

A social movement in which women want to gain power over men. They want to be the superior race. They want to be better than men. It's not about equality, because we already have equal rights.

[Asker]

Dude… FeminiNITY. Not feminism.

[Ayra_Frey]

For me it's as simple as this. If you are a woman, you're feminine.

[Ayra_Frey]

Or transgenders who identify themselves as a woman

[TheTruthHurtsImSorry]

In 2016 it means to not take responsibility for a damn thing, be offended by everything, and to always be right even when you're wrong.

[Asker]

Femininity, dude. You know, thr ying to your yang lol. can't you come up with something related to that? Everything you said pretty much describes millenials

[Anonymous]

-Wears makeup
-Jewelry
-Long hair
-Likes to wear dresses
-Soft skin
-Shaven
-Sweet
-Loyal
-Polite

[Opinion Owner]

-Supports her man
-Motherly nature

[helloeveryoneitsme]

for me when girls have skirts on them, talks like ladies and have some cameltoes

[Anonymous]

What it always meant.

Evil.

[Djaaaaaay]

Good question...

[Djaaaaaay]

Feminitity belongs to the women who displays herself as. Each woman displays her own individual feminin way about her self. So to analyze what it is... it's only what the girl you're looking at decribes it as.