Am I wrong for not dating "nice guys"? (Page 2)

Question

A few guys are super sweet and supportive and appreciative of me, and I would date them, but the problem is that I don't feel any physical attraction for them whatsoever. It's not because they're nice, but because I am just not physically attracted. I have known them for some time. I try to make myself feel attracted, but every time they touch me or compliment me, I cringe and feel repulsed. Am I wrong for feeling like this? Is there any way to make myself become attracted to them?

ghostqueen · Answer

You're the only one who will suffer for going after bad guys. You can't make yourself feel attraction but that's definitely problematic.

capturemyheartnow · Answer

You are right because nice guys mostly come last. But those girls who get the nice guy are more happy for the rest of their life. So water may not taste good , wine may taste better. But those who like to drink water will always have good health. Sometimes life without excitement is more stable and comfortable.

Ripper_E · Answer

so it's not nice guys you have a problem with at all. You're asking if it's wrong to not dating guys you are unattracted to. Nice guys are something you want, not want to reject, but just because a guy is nice doesn't mean you will find him attractive. Some nice guys will be attractive and some won't. Just like bad boys may be attractive and some won't.

MzAsh · Answer

Well, you’re young. A few bad relationships later you’ll learn to love nice guys. Believe me, they are a hell of a lot better than these turds trying to be “alpha.” 😂

Adam_INTJ · Answer

So you need to be convinced yourself that the "nice guy" is not easy to get. We all want the thing that is hard to get, so you aren't going to desire a nice guy that you prettymuch have at your fingertips. Push pull flirting might work to make yourself interested

MrMAC777 · Answer

Women want safe and supportive but are not attracted to it. They are more attracted to douchebags, who they try to change into the nice guy with no success. Then they end up single mommies... seen it a million times. So you are not wrong, maybe just foolish. But you aren't alone, attraction is attraction.

amarahorrorstory · Answer

I won't date a self proclaimed nice guy. That's red flag because a lot of self proclaimed nice guys think the world owes them something. I'll decide if he's nice.

Carley99 · Answer

Not because a guy is " nice " means that you should have some kind of attraction towards them. He could be nice and boring or you don't connect mentally.

danii363 · Answer

I’m in the same situation, although I’m not attracted to bad guys. I’m justing waiting for a nice guy with a appearance that attracts me. I’m not a hypocrite to say that appearance doesn't matter, it is as important as personality fot me.

deanlarouche · Answer

No body can deny your feelings or force you. But there are ways you can eventually find them attractive to much to explain on here but first of all keep ur mind open to embrace and receive what is given to u. I also have theory why your the way you are.. not bad but I think I could help

TwinCKI · Answer

Just because someone is nice to you doesn't mean that you have to date them, the attraction always needs to be there when you are considering dating someone.

emanresUlanigirO · Answer

Are you wrong to feel repulsed my someone's romantic advances just because you don't find them visually attractive? Yes. 100%. Absolutely. Don't be so shallow. I'm not saying to give them a chance, though. That won't help. Not yet. You need to completely change the way you view dating and other people. Right now you're dating out of lust, when it should be about love

ASEXY · Answer

Nope, you shouldn't force yourself to date someone who you're not physically (or romantically) attracted to. Never try to force an attraction that isn't there. If you're not attracted to them, it means you will most likely never be attracted to them. It doesn't matter whether they're nice or not. Just because they're nice to you, it doesn't mean they deserve to be with you.

Kiels01 · Answer

This sums a lot of women up, they feel they deserve a man well out of their league - i bet this girl is at best a 7/10 yet expects a guy 8+ out of ten and he has to tick a huge list of boxes aswell.. they get the idea they are attractive because sleaze ball guys pay attention to them to get them in bed with no real interest in anything else!
Wake up and smell the coffee darling, you aren't as attractive as you think you are.

winterfox10 · Answer

You can't force attraction, you are either attracted or you aren't, and you shouldn't date someone you aren't truly attracted to. ALL OF THAT BEING SAID: you should ask yourself why you aren't really attracted to them. If they just genuinely aren't physically attractive, that can't be helped, but if you just don't feel a spark of excitement and intrigue; then you need to be surrounding yourself with guys who give you that rush.

avi007bondster · Answer

If you're looking for physical attraction then you're probably thinking more about sex than having an actual relationship..
Seriously girls like you end up in trouble and then blame all men..
Learn to see through a person do not judge a book by it's cover you idiot

Anonymous · Answer

You are the typical 18-24 year old female.

Most girls your age chase assholes and constantly piss and moan about how they are treated
It's only after your looks start to fade will you "decide" you want a nice guy or "a real man" as most desperate middleaged females post on their dating site profiles.

wOWZERS43 · Answer

I voted "yes" because my advice to you is not to date a douchebag because you'll be burned in the end in most cases.

But, you can do what you want, it's your choice. Just don't complain about where all the "good men" with good jobs are 10 years down the line.

At some point you'll probably want to settle down with a nice guy if you want to get married, just keep that in mind.

Uhhjsshshdh · Answer

No, you're not wrong for rejecting them. Different strokes for different folks.

You are only wrong if you label them as "overly entitled" just because they're upset/angry/disappointed which are normal human emotions. But it doesn't sound like you're one of those feminazis.

KingCummALot · Answer

How is this about bad boys vs good guys? When you are not attracted to someone there is no reason to date such a person. I think if the right good guy comes along you'll have no trouble being with him. Unless you are damaged and seek disfunctional people, but nothing you said suggests that.

universesdaughter · Answer

No you’re not wrong. Only women are expected to pick men based on personality. Men in the other hand, pick women based on looks. You can get a good looking guy that’s also nice. You just have to be good looking yourself.

crazy8000 · Answer

Both yes and no to if you can.
They doesn't trigger the right kind of emotions and enough of the right ones.
And you have to reprogram yourself to get over certain mental thing's in your subconscious.

It can be that those guys aren't really nice or that you both aren't at the right mental stage to work for the moment.
It can be you have some deep mental issues that makes you that you can't be to this kind of person yet.

Then you have you both are a mismatch with the internal.

Dre_808 · Answer

It is what it is. It's not your fault you aren't attracted to them. I wish the world was different but it isn't, the nice guys rarely ever win. Believe me I know... If you have been around them for awhile and you still aren't attracted to them, then it's probably not going to happen. It's not your fault or their fault, some things just aren't meant to be.

MaximisPryme · Answer

It is not wrong, but rather normal.

I know I am a nice guy, and may not get a lot of attention from the female sex, but the part I detest the most, and you know where I am coming from, is that women complain about being 'no nice guys to date'... There are, but so women are so ignorant, and blinded by the 'bad guys' to see them.

In other words, if you plan to date only bad guys, don't complain about the guys you date. The nice guys are sick of it :P

LegateLanius · Answer

If you're not attracted to someone, you don't have to date them. It would be horrible to both you and them. What would hurt more, not dating because you're not attractive to someone or them saying that they think you are not attractive while dating them?

Anonymous · Answer

Hey don't worry! That's completely normal. Everyone has their own type. The bad boys might not even be yout type, maybe this is just a phase, and later on you'll be into nerds or lumberjacks and whatnot. These preferences change through the whole lifetime.

FakeName123 · Answer

What are don't want to date isn't nice guys. You don't want to date pushovers. Clear difference. Many guys nowadays are overly nice and lack assertiveness and being confrontational.

PrincessPie · Answer

Nope, you can't help who you're not and who you're attracted to.

Leafpool2 · Answer

Just because they're nice to you doesn't mean you owe them sex or a date. You aren't a vending machine they put niceness tokens into until sex comes out

ragnor · Answer

Would you date a nice guy if you found him physically attractive?

If so then I don't think you're not dating "nice guys." You're just not finding them physically attractive. Physical attraction is part of being attracted to someone whether we like to admit it or not.

However if you think a guy is good looking, but don't want to date him cause he is too nice to you you then you probably have some issues.

eziegler81 · Answer

There nothing wrong for not dating the "nice guys". Just don't complain later about not being able to find a nice guy. If you like the bad boys and how they treat you, then go for that, it's what you like

Prima_Dana · Answer

There's nothing wrong with that. "Nice guys" typically don't have strong values and aren't as good as they seem. They're actually pretty weak and insecure. There's no need to try to make yourself feel attracted to anyone. Attraction is natural.

hahahmm · Answer

There’s all kinds of nice guys. You just did not meet a physically attractive one yet, but they exists.

Don’t tell a guy you think he’s a ‘nice guy’ tho. Lol... unless you are already intimate with him

10dsw · Answer

Not one bit and I get where you're coming from. But please for the love of God don't ask where all the nice men went

Allie_Oops · Answer

It's only wrong if that's the only reason you won't date them. Looks aren't EVERYTHING but just make you don't make it a make or break thing. You should be physically attracted to your partner but you also should be willing to meet someone halfway.

Etuhanlo · Answer

The ammount of white knight's in this thread is fantastic. No you shouldn't have to deal with nice guys. "Nice" guys are usually creepy soft betas that think just because they're nice to you that they should get sex.

You need to find guys that are independant, can talk to girls and can treat you the way that you treat him. It's a two way road lady.

Immortal_God_King · Answer

No, but you're either stupid or not cynical enough. Nice guys are a source of free meals, entertainment, and laughs with the girls later about how they thought they had a shot but you shot them down.

GingerGuy · Answer

Everyone has their preferences. But it is going to be harder for you to find a "good guy" if you don't give these guys a chance. However, I do believe physical attraction is important as well so if there is none at all, then don't do it.

laffman · Answer

It is normal. And you cannot change what attracts you. But what you find attractive at 20 might not be the same as when you are 30. People change naturally, it cannot be forced.

AlexBlack007 · Answer

I don't know what I'll be answering because your title is a question and your description ends with a different question. 😅

How about nice but strange guys? You know, the kind that believe in strange things in a very logical way and all? :P

Prof_Don · Answer

It seems like you're forcing yourself to date guys that are nice, even if you aren't physically attracted to them!

Don't do that. If you're not into him physically, then don't date him. No need to waste each other's time.

madhatters4 · Answer

it sounds like the nice guys you know just aren't guys you are interested for reasons aside from them being "nice". so in your situation i would say no you are not wrong for dating those "nice" guys

FatherJack · Answer

Not attracted = no date , simple. It would be bad for BOTH parties , men are not the dumb morons we are often portrayed as , most of us can pick up on the fact that we are not really wanted. Distance yourself from these guys

Daniel3035 · Answer

Truth is yes. You'll reach an age like every woman does and realise your idea of a good man is wrong and realise the marriage worthy men are the good guys but by that time you'll realise it's too late and all the good guys will be taken.

Bananaman177 · Answer

Adolescent lust is just not a good basis for relationships.  Just because somebody makes you horny doesn't mean they'll be a good boyfriend/girlfriend.

DinaM · Answer

You shouldn't have to date anyone you're not attracted to.

Aphrodite87 · Answer

No but do you want a guy who put his hand on you My Friends like the bad boys all they do is cheat and put his hands on you.

ObliviousJester · Answer

Date whatever type you want. Soon you'll be treated like crap by the type you are attracted to, eventually you will possibly become bitter because "you've always been treated like crap by guys"

Anonymous · Answer

Three... two... one... HERE COME THE SO-CALLED "NICE GUYS" WHO WILL SHAME YOU INTO DATING THEIR TYPE BECAUSE THEY FEEL ENTITELED TO PUSSY JUST BECAUSE THEY WERE NICE.

NikiNicola · Answer

There is nothing wrong if you don't feel attracted to a guy. You can't force yourself to feel attracted to someone. You might like them but not attracted to them and can't change it really.

Goddesswithproblems · Answer

I think some people on here are missing the point. She said she likes the way he treats her but she isn't physically attracted to them. Anyway if you're being nice to get something in return you're not a nice guy.

Brewmaster531 · Answer

You have no control over your attraction to people. You even said you tried. It's not your fault. There is a the right nice guy out there. You just haven't met him yet.

ManMountain · Answer

If u force something to happen that u don't really want chances are it will turn horrible. A slim chance that it might turn out better than expected. I'd be practical and play the odds.

Fern_Song · Answer

There's nothing wrong with not dating nice guys who are not attractive, but on the contrary, it's not healthy to date attractive guys who are not nice. Just because they are nice doesn't mean you have to like them or be attracted to them, and just because they're attractive doesn't mean you should date them. Really, it's just finding the balance of someone you like who is sweet.

Zeabazz · Answer

It's not wrong if your feeling correspond to a level of introspection that you are content with.

That's to say: if you have spent time truly looking into yourself and making yourself into whom you want to be, then the fact that you don't want to date 'x' people is entirely your choice.

duskanddawn · Answer

Your problem I your more focused on physical attraction yes it a small part of being attracted to someone as a whole but for the most part focus on your personality type it'll help you choose cause tell me would you want an abusive good looking man that never tries and treats you like shit (a bad boy) or a guy that treats you like a queen respects you and never would think about hurting you but have a few imperfections look-wise the choice is yours...

chris1965 · Answer

I'm sorry that you're going through this. It sounds like you would like to be attracted to a nice guy. It just hasn't happened yet. That's not your fault.

It will happen with time and I'm sure you'll be very happy.

Liamerica · Answer

It's not weird at all, if you don't feel any attraction to them then they aren't meant for you. It's perfectly fine to just stay good friends with them.

TayTay21 · Answer

Nice guys are lame and should all be sterilized so they can't reproduce. That way, girls in the future will have nothing but sexy bad boys chasing them.

DonNotte35 · Answer

By dating "bad guys", you take the risk of being treated like dirt. But hey if you're not physically attracted by "nice guys", that's not your fault. You may be young so do whatever you enjoy

Am I wrong for not dating "nice guys"? (Page 2)

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