What makes a guy nervous around a girl?

Question

There is a guy I know is outgoing loud and is not shy around people even with girls. But I am shy but once you get to know you I will open up more and talk. he is confident around the girls I see him with like he can joke and tease with them and even sit with them. With me he will not talk or flirt unless we are alone I have approached him with other people around to see if he will open up more but he will not say much. He will stare at me from across the room and gets nervous more quite shy and sweet to me he can not even sit next to me. Sometimes he will just blush smile and give me a nod. A lot times I do catch him has confidence he will just stare deep into my eyes will not say a word I do stare back we have flirted by winking and brushing up against each other. Why would this confident outgoing guy act nervous around a shy girl. I know he likes me and it seems to me he is really a shy guy who tries to funny cocky outgoing guy in front of crowds especially around his friends.

dave0909 · Accepted Answer

Yeah I 100% agree with JohnGPL, I act *completely* different around girls that I find really attractive simply because I worry about looking like a dumbass or to be judged in an unfair way. For girls that I don't find attractive or couldn't see myself dating, I don't think about every little detail that happens and just shrug it off.

If you're the "shy girl" you say you are he probably simply can't tell how you feel towards him. When I can't tell how a girl feels about me because she's shy it's hard to make the next move because I don't know what she's comfortable with.

JohnGPL · Accepted Answer

Usually the nervousness stems from a fear of rejection.  He wants you to like him, and is afraid of doing or saying something stupid that will make you think less of him.  Girls he's not interested in don't make him nervous because he doesn't care if they'd reject his advances.

cloudsofunicorns · Accepted Answer

Iam in the exact same situation girl all I'm worried about is that he doesn't really like me just likes that I give him the attention lol
But the boy I like is probably the most confident boy I know but he struggles to talk to me directly and look me in the eye
I think you should strike up a conversation with him let him know he can be comfortable around you

Himegari · Accepted Answer

Wow, just can't be amazed more of how your situatuon just as same as mine. I'm also shy and well, the guy I like is more outgoing and he's usually calm down when he's around me. I think it's the same as dave0909 said, guys probably couldn't read the reactions from shy girl.

ScottL · Answer

So... Let share my internal monolog of my most recent encounter:

There was a girl I really liked at work. She and I could joke around and flirt with each other no problem.

One day I decided I wanted to take whatever it was we had outside of the workplace.

I wanted to ask her to a movie.

I worked up my courage and went over every possible response to my invitation she could say and decided no matter what the response was, I'd be okay and accept it.

I walked up to her desk, and she turns around and smiles at me. At that exact moment, I realize that out of all the different responses she could come back with, I completely forgot to think about how I was going to ask.

Was I just going to ask? No, I can't do that, it might sound demanding.

Was I going to soften it a bit? Sure, I could do that, but how? Do I start on a different topic and somehow merge into the invitation? If so, what would I start with that would be easy enough to slide into asking her to a movie?

Oh, I know, I'll ask her about other movies that are similar to the one I want to see... Wait a minute... I want to see it... But would she?

Shit! What movies does she like? I know... She's a girl, she probably likes chick flicks.

So, when she's sitting there, smiling at me, I start to talk to her about a chick flick I watched that wasn't terrible.

Shit! I just said I like chick flicks, not very manly. Girls like the alpha, how can I be alpha but say I like chick flicks?

Crap! Well, I already screwed that up, might as well keep going. Crap! What was the movie I wanted to see again? Oh yeah, I remember. Wait! she's talking. What did she say? I wasn't paying attention. Did she say she hates chick flicks? Did I just screw up again? Crap!

Okay, this is just snowballing into a mess, screw the casual merge, just ask her.

So, I did. She told me she'd love to see the movie with me.

Oh my God! Did she really agree to go? Hell yeah! Wait. What day? What time? Shit! I forgot to look up showtimes. Don't worry, just ask her what day and time would work for her and plan it around then.

7:00pm on Friday? Okay, that'll work. Now, stop your blabbering before you make yourself look more like an idiot. Turn around and walk away. Wait! Not so fast, you'll look way too excited and could scare her or be a turn off for her.

Slowly, slowly, okay, you're out of site, run back to your desk so she doesn't see you freak out with excitement.

MmaTender · Answer

I actually have this, to a degree... I'm a bartender, and am used to entertaining people, flirting, ect. The odd thing is it took me talking, hanging out, and really getting to know the girl that causes that in me...

The feeling is this rush of just wanting to be with the person... In other words someone is going to have to make the first move. He's probably trying to play the game rather than just blurting out, hey we need to do something... anything, and appear try hard to you. You really want to wow him, one day when your loking at each other , just up and ask him where he's taking you? ( I so love this one)

Edanurus · Answer

Obviously when they have feelings, unless they do it with everyone then they're just an anxious person. Can't really say on the specific thoughts but there are a few things.

You forget how people talk to each other. Everything you think of sounds like your shoe size is bigger than your iq is.

You start worrying that your being weird by not saying anything which makes you panic making it harder to come up with something.

You try to act natural but tour body doesn't want to cooperate.

You shyly look down and then worry that they thing you were trying to sneak a look.

Rejection sucks but offending is terrible. You can deal with being turned down but your paranoid about being a creep.

OtakuJiraiya420760 · Answer

We hate to offend a woman. I mean, we HATE it. Even if there's a douche that'll do it in less than 10 seconds flat, we hate making women feeling uncomfortable however we men are an unattractive species that rely on comedy rather than intellect. That's why you see guys that act goofy get the more attention: because we kind of don't care at that point about embarrassing ourselves because we know we're embarrassing to even be around half the time.

HP992 · Answer

Thoughts don't run through your head when you're nervous like that. It's all emotions, with your brain trying to throw in logical thoughts to get it back on track. It's just the feeling of not wanting to do something wrong, or the feeling of hoping you don't come off as goofy or weird, not that you actively think "I hope I don't do something wrong" or "I hope she doesn't think I'm weird"

Logorithim · Answer

I think guys get nervous around women when they think she is not approachable, that she will automatically reject him. If you're confident that she won't, you're not going to be nervous, other than the standard excitement that goes with being successful with a girl.

anon1111 · Answer

It's the fear of rejection that makes us nervous and quiet around you. When we really like a girl, a lot of guys tend to clam up because we fear that we'll screw it up by saying the wrong thing and you'll be put off and lose interest.

If we're not interested in you then we're free to be as loud and outgoing as we want because we have nothing to lose.

GRIZZadams · Answer

You are probably attractive and he's thinking he has a booger hanging out, he fly is down, the food might be bad, maybe you will try and kiss him at the end of the night and he takes it too far or not far enough and you lose interest... I'm sure a lot, get him to just relax, talk like people to each other. Ask him if he is okay and be open and honest w each other

JohnScofield · Answer

ask him?

I think what you are getting at is... "This dude is nervous around me, he doesn't seem to be around other girls. I think he likes me, but I cannot tell."

I think you are right, he probably likes you, and the only way to REALLY know is to either ask him OR find a way to spend some time with him to allow the two of you to get to know each other better and see where it leads.

lightraid51s · Answer

For starters if she's stunning and nervous weather she likes me back as I would be scared to look an idiot. If her body language is closed then she obviously doesn't want you around, this would include dull speech and one word answers etc. If your happy and open and chatty then I wouldn't feel nervous at all.

winterfox10 · Answer

The only time I've ever really been nervous around a girl was one who thought I was creepy as hell, and I knew it. I made the mistake of trying to convince this girl that I wasn't weird, it was just other people spreading crap about me... It didn't work! lmao

Anonymous · Answer

He knows she has a crush on him, but he doesn't feel the same way.

He doesn't like her.

He's something behind her back which makes him feel guilty.

He thinks she doesn't like him.

If he's not shy around other girls, if he's not shy at all basically, then he won't get shy around a girl he likes (that's obviously what you're hoping to hear). A guy who is not shy, would be preening himself around a girl he had a crush on. He'd be louder, more boisterous, showing off, that sort of thing.

Anonymous · Answer

in a way I'am a lot like that guy outgoing loud and everything else. Even around extremley attractive girls, but soon as I have feelings for a girl I become really shy and nervous. . I won't even eat if the girl I like is around because I'm scared ill drop food on me etc. Something for you to try is to ask him to just go for a walk with you and talk. You could also attempt to be more forward and when you sit with him next time but your hand on his knee.

ThisAndThat · Answer

I'll speak for me why I get nervous around a girls and you can take from that what you want, if it helps. I grew up not having a little sister, there were no girls in my neighborhood, I didn't have any friends that were girls because there weren't any. I didn't know any girls all through school including when I got to high school nor after I left not even to this day have I really had them in my life. I find girls to be beautiful and fascinating, yet never go the chance to be a part of it.

Anonymous · Answer

some guys can be intuitive too and less logical in some certain conditions. its just mixed feeling. he is attracted by her beauty. but its just she is different than other girls which he can't explain what. but its not always just love or sex. this is mixed feeling. something like, when a girl cries after sex although no problem at all. no logic can explain.

MajorEasy · Answer

Because what she thinks of me matters a lot... If it doesn't matter, then there's no anxiousness... Not only to the opposite gender... But true for anyone whose opinion matters...

Shane_B · Answer

I'm like that around girls.
I don't act strange, I'm just shy, insecure, and never know what to say, my small talk is awful and I find it hard to make eye contact with people, and I wouldn't wanna embarrass myself.

Finchie40 · Answer

That she doesn't find the guy attractive and that she is out of his league so it makes him nervous thinking he isn't good enough for her even though he likes her a lot

adennysgrandslamwich · Answer

"Oh no she can totally tell... why am i even here? Im such an IDIOT. She knows how much of a loser i am. She'd never want to date a guy with spaghetti in his pockets, let alone one who drops it on the floor. No one will ever toucha my spaghet"

TheTallguy993 · Answer

Because we're horny beasts with not much character, and you're angelic and are someone whom we admire, respect and are attracted to. It comes from a lack of self-worth

What makes a guy nervous around a girl?

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