Guys always have to lower their standards to the girl? (Page 2)

Question

I feel like the guys always have to lower their standards to the girl.I am an attractive 25 year old.  6 foot 2 and Hispanic.  I can dance, am a professional musician and a Doctoral Student.  I have plenty of confidence and girls always tell me that I am very funny.So, this is basically how it goes for me.  I get numbers from beautiful woman, they like me..and eventually it goes nowhere.  So lets say for numbers sake that I am an 8.  When I use 1-10 I am speaking only of attractiveness.  This is all that girls/boys get at first glance when they make first judgement.  I hit on 9s and they really like me, and it goes nowhere.  I hit on 8s, and they really-really like me and it slowly fizzles into nothing.  I hit on 7s and they are in love with me..but guess what...it goes nowhere eventually.  Then I hit on 6s.  They stalk me, are in love with me, and push themselves on me the minute I give them any attention.  It will eventually end up that I am with one of the 6s.  I treat the 6s and the 9s all the same way.  I am a pleasant guy to be around.  Guys like hanging with me, and girls love hanging with me.  GIrls also REALLY LOVE making love to me.So why must I ALWAYS BE THE ONE WHO LOWERS MY STANDARDS?Why do the pretty girls never lower their standards for the guy?  It seems that girls only want someone they KNOW THEY ARE REALLY F-ING LUCKY TO HAVE A CHANCE WITH.  Anyone else who is at their level...they blow off.  SOMETIME girls lower their standards for a boy, this does happen...dont get me wrong.  But I feel that MOST OF THE TIME the guys have to lower their standards to get a decent girl.A beautiful ex girlfriend billboard model of mine once said., " A beautiful person cannot get with another beautiful person.  Only one person can bet he hot one in a relationship"Is that true?Does someone have to lower their standards?  If so, does it HAVE TO BE THE GUY?I will add a poll but PLEASE weigh in and comment!

Standingpretty · Answer

It has been proven that people rate themselves higher than they usually are. Some people think they "settle" because they rate themselves too high. But more often than not, I meet people who think they have met someone within the same attractiveness range. Actually, in reality it has also been proven that women date slightly less attractive men more often than not, typically older, more established men who know what they want from life and are finacially stable. The thing is just that people are not very good at placing themselves on a scale as they tend to think they are.

hrtsnstrs · Answer

I don't think either has to lower their standards. People have different tastes. If you're with the right person, you're going to both be attracted to each other. No matter what "number" you are to different people. It does seem to be true that there's always one hotter person in the relationship sometimes. I'll admit that. I think that's only because in some relationships, the more "attractive" one actually has a heart and standards and doesn't just go for for looks, and finds someone who has a good personality too, and that person is still attractive to them, sure, but everyone else might think they can get someone better, aka, more phyiscally attractive.

and I think sometimes attractive people lower their standards cause they just want sex and don't care who it's from, or else don't have confidence and don't think highly of themselves.

ManaX · Answer

Are you seriously saying that you relationships with women are representative of the whole "good looking" male population. You've dated that many women and not one of the relationships has worked out? To me it sounds like you are the problem. Maybe this is the reason your right about the equally shallow 6's who will ignore your personality and because of your "good looks" can't believe they got so lucky. But I'm pretty sure given time this will wear off soon.

Maybe your a narcissist who's also quite shallow, and is going for all the wrong types of women.

(Also stats show that most relationships work out with people who are one point either side of their attractiveness, so 8's can go with 8's, 9's and 7's. Any higher or lower could make either partner insecure or feel like their too good for the relationship.)

P.S and if you look at the results of this test properly, you see that only 4 out of 11 people agree with you. (these results may change later on)

Lockjawx27 · Answer

Its called female hypergamy. Women tend to date and marry "up". They feel too good for even attractive guys

Women, especially in the US, have an entitlement complex. They think their sh*t doesn't stink. They are so used to have so many options, that even when an attractive guy comes around, they still turn their noses up at him.

Women don't stop this behavior until they get older and no longer look good enough to get away

with it. That's the dead to honest truth about women, and very few women will admit this.

It has gotten to the point where a 7 female feels entitled to 8+ males

An 8 female feels entitled to 9+ males

Females who are 9 and up only want the best of the best alpha males, who are either extraordinarily good looking or rich

Women's value keeps rising, while male's keeps lowering.

kereru · Answer

i respectfully disagree, just go look on the street, in any magazine, how many younger men do you see with clearly older woman?

how many really lean, toned young guys do you see with tubby GFs?

how many short fat girls do you see with tall stunningly handsome guys?

not many, now reverse the questions and what do you get?

when it comes to physical attractiveness, its usually woman who end up with the thin end of the wedge,

answerthisplz · Answer

the guy in the realtionship doesn't have to be in a lower standard than the girl if when I am in a realtionship it is nice when the guy is at  a higher standard than me becuase it makes me want to stay with him longer and he's really cute so I have sonmmething to look a. you know... if I was dating a guy with a lower standard than its not a vivid prediction that we would go no where if he is not that hot and just average loooking or even may not look attractive to others ti doesn't matter to me its weither I like him for who he is. so the realtionshoips that you have had in the past in my opion did not end because you looked hotter than oyour girl or you had the higher satus or standard in the realtionship it just simply didn't work out . so I wouldn't worry or think to much about dating  a girl that is at a lower standard that iu are at.

hgarnett · Answer

Let Me be BLUNT...you come off like a totally arrogant, self-interested, egotistical person.

There are PLENTY, PLENTY of women who routinely lower their standards just to have a man. You are taking your personal situation and applying it to the whole.

Next, you go around rating people like they are in a meat market and you're in the meat market too. You are stuck on yourself - why don't you just give it up and date yourself - you are the only one who can measure up to you. Other than that...You can just simply and ONLY go after the 10s ( as you put it ) ...see how far you will get in a relationship...you both will be so in love with yourselves that you won't have love for each other ( or maybe you will ...try it out )

By any means, do not lower your standards...that would be detrimental to most people to be in a relationship with you...REALLY...just go after 10s.

-0x0- · Answer

Agree with you here.

I'm always told I'm pretty decent looking yet I only ever seem to get the well below par girls.

I guess its just because around girls in whom I have no interest I'm a more attractive guy. I'm more confident, I'm funnier- I make more jokes at their expense, I'm more laid back. The tone of my voice is probally even deeper.

Sorry if I'm getting a bit into the territory of those PUA d***s here but...the key is to treat hot girls like ugly girls. They're people. They have their faults. They have a sense of humour. Its hard to make yourself do it when you're on the spot and its all about 'omg, gotta be super nice to this girl, she's so hot!'.

xsweetbabygyalx · Answer

I don't think you're that bad, just don't worry about it because you're attractive and may be your personality is also very attractive and that's all that matters. The girls are wrong by doing what they're doing. Just a thought occurred to me right now, what if they're playing hard to get meaning want you to make the move first. I don't think it's always the guy who has the lower standards, I'm a girl and I as well do have lower standards as well. You're right, the personality is more important than the physical appearance. My relationship started out with him liking my personality than it was my physical appearance..lol. I don't know if that's true but I don't think so it's true about what your ex had said. Do what my boyfriend did, play hard to get. Don't give the next girl any attention so that way she'll chase you. Hope this helps and all the best to you =)

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds to me like you have to take a step back and really look in the mirror buddy... you're probably not as goodlooking as you think you are. Since you have factored in all your other qualities and interests, maybe you should factor those things in when you look for girls. Maybe then things won't "fizzle out" since you aren't choosing them based on looks alone but on mutual interests and personality. And you say you treat all girls equally.. but every time you're with someone who you deem less attractive than you, you wonder why you have to lower your standards for them. That doesn't sound very equal to me.

Maybe your small d*** is an issue there too?

Anonymous · Answer

I think that guys or girls who aren't super hot add that extra glamour to a guy who's really cute even if his personality isn't all that great just because they're insecure and surprised that they got a hot guy like that. Maybe they worry they'll never find a hot guy like that again who will want them.

Yet, hot guys and girls will reject other hot guys and girls because hot guys and girls often have crappy personalties and are bitches are jerks. But because they know they're hot, they know they don't have to stick around and put up with the sh*t because someone else will want them.

CosmoGal · Answer

If your last update is true, I feel sorry for both of these girls.  You are obviously shallow, & the fact that you consider cheating an accomplishment shows that you don't deserve any girl.  I hope these girls find out , & find themselves a better man.  Men like you make me sick!

CatiaSpirit · Answer

in my opinion... yu don't have to "lower your standards" .. you need to realize what you personally are looking for... standards should be qualities and what people want to become and make of themselves and who they are... not for the ton of makeup they wear or how half naked most chicks present themselves these days.. sex appeal shouldn't be the only thing your looking for

peace-love-couture · Answer

Sounds to me as though YOUR standards are too high and you're taking it out on the women who are 9's/10's and can get guys who are 9's/10's

You want a Megan Fox look alike who is an airhead.Good luck with that goal.I'm pretty sure most girls want a Tyson Beckford or David Beckham,but most girls have to settle.

lapa5 · Answer

Wow... Can you be any more superficial? o.O

A girl of "good quality", could be a six by looks and a 10 by personality. And seeing how your question bursts with superficiality and arrogance, that "six" is way out of your league.

You just keep looking for love like this. I'm sure there is a girl out there, who will be happy to bring her own mirror when she moves in.

Hello_World · Answer

Maybe the girls that gave you the official 8 rating, didn't want to hurt your feelings so they agreed with you, women are like that.

And where I live, the gyms are all filled with males with nice builds, and few women. On the streets I always see guys in shape with obese women. I always feel sorry for the guys.

nmh184 · Answer

I'm a beautiful girl and I consider myself a 9, but all kinds of guys have fallen in love with me and thought I'm like the most beautiful girl lol but what I see missing in hot guys is sincerity and romance and plus they usually have a lot of "miles" which I'm not fond of since I'm not in the same boat. there are however a lot of girls that dating is like climbing a ladder for them. its really sad actually. so my guess is that the cute girls you want are probably stupid and leave you for a guy that's ready to buy her something or you're giving them too much importance.. for some reason girls like jerks often. I would go for a guy not so attractive as long as he has a great mind, that's number 1 for me... all I know is don't lower your standrds because you won't be happy.

selfishstars · Answer

Can you explain yourself better? You said that you hit on girls anywhere between "6" to "9" and that they they like you to varying degrees, but that it doesn't work out. What standards are you lowering (or do you feel like you have to lower)? It sounds to me that you just haven't found someone that you really clicked with and that it probably has nothing to do with where you see them on a rating scale in terms of looks.

RestlessTravelGirl · Answer

I have a few comments for you.

1) Have you been watching one too many episodes of "How I Met Your Mother" because your attitude sounds a little too much like Barney. Not that I don't find him funny, but he's a bit of an ass.

2) You tend to contradict yourself. You say that personality matters most but all you seem to care about are looks. It's great to be confidant and have a healthy self-esteem but you seem to think that you are God's gift to women. Maybe that's why the quality 9's just aren't into you. I know you said that you are dating two such 9's and had sex with one but I question whether they are the quality 9's that I am talking about.

3) From your attitude, I would say that the girls would be settling if they are with you. I'm not a bitch, I just don't like your attitude.

bsorensen78 · Answer

Nobody should settle to be in a relationship or lower their standards. The best thing about being individuals is we all see beauty differently. You might think someone is an 8, and your best friend thinks she is a 2. Beauty is truly skin deep and in the eye of the beholder. Stop focusing on whether someone is just a number and try connecting with them on another level. If you really were all about the personality, then the numbers wouldn't really exist.

Guys always have to lower their standards to the girl? (Page 2)

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