How are you supposed to discipline your woman?

[Anonymous]

Not in a sexual way. Just generally. Like if she always misbehaves and never takes anything seriously.
Talking never works and scolding her just turns her on.

I've tried sleeping in separate beds but when I wake up she'll be cuddling me.

Updates

+1 y

By discipline I mean how do I instil discipline within her and convince her to act her age.

[thatsjustme1]

Punishment works best. Try Spanking her. Hitting with stick on knuckles, slapping.

If simple things don't work you have to go a bit extreme.

Like water boarding, mild electric shock, tie her up in a room and put loud music on repeat, lock her in a box without food or water and then she should give up all the information she has.

[Asker]

She likes that kinda stuff.

[wankiam]

where do you come from? just wondering if its a cultural difference that causes you to have such a skewed attitude towards women. anyway in answer to the basic question... you dont and if she has proved to not be the woman you want then go find one who is rather than trying to force her to change

[Asker]

It's not skewed to want your partner to act their age or to practice self restraint? Especially when their actions are hurting themselves and others. I always have to answer for her and it's frustration because she won't meet me half way.

In my culture people don't get divorced.

[BaileyisDarcy]

you're not married yet it would be a breakup not a divorce

[wankiam]

it was the word dicipline that set alarm bells ringing... whilst you may want a partner to be 'self diciplined', in western culture its not right that a man thinks he can dicipline 'his woman'. she may need to grow up a bit but its not your job or right to tell her what to do. its a good example of why you need to really get to know someone before you marry them

[BaileyisDarcy]

You dont?

If you really feel the need to "punish" her for misbehaving (i feel like im talking about training a dog right now there is so many things wrong with that) then, I dont know, tell her she did bad?

If she doesn't want to change she won't, and you can't force that.

[Asker]

Not punish, make her reflect.
Get her shit together basically.

[nofunkgiven]

You can't discipline your partner. They're not a pet to be disciplined. And she's already an adult so her behavior and personality have been already shaped. If she wants to change it she will but there isn't really something you can do about it.

[Asker]

I don't mean discipline like a pet, I mean how do I make her a more disciplined individual. In the same way a martial artist practices discipline.
She doesn't behave like an adult or take responsibility for her actions.

[nofunkgiven]

All you can do is talk to her. And not allow her to act like a kid with you in certain situations. U can't really do more than that especially if she doesn't wanna change

[Asker]

I try to talk to her but she always takes it as a joke. If I raise my voice or speak in a serious tone she'll start flirting with me.

[Sucram]

Believe it or not, but women ARE disciplining men a in a way guides for dogs suggest.
Doing it back to them is only fair.
Honestly, a good book on dog training might even solve the problem.

Giving them the cold shoulder when they do something you disapprove of, giving them extra attention or treats when they do something you want them to do.
That's stereotypical behaviour of females in a relationship, and it's what many modern dog training books suggest.

en.m.wikipedia.org/.../...conditioning_diagram.png

[nofunkgiven]

And I think choosing the right woman will be more fair. I know there are people who like to discipline and change others and there are also people who like to manipulate others.
Isn't it wiser to just be with a person who is ready to improve and is not manipulative, instead of being with a person who u want to change or discipline? I think it makes more sense

[Asker]

She is the right person for me but nobody is perfect. I'm just trying to get her to give up her bad habits. I'd like her to instil some discipline ans self restraint, that's all. I'm not trying to change who she is.

I've matured a lot since meeting her, for the sake of our well being. I've given up many things for our relationship but she's not doing the same in certain areas.

[MlleCake]

You don't. She's an adult woman and she can conduct herself how she chooses. You can certainly tell her what you don't like, but it's ultimately up to you to leave if you can't tolerate her behavior.

[Asker]

She can conduct herself however she wishes however certain behaviour is unacceptable and actions have consequences. And when you're married you have certain obligations. I want my advice to resonate with her but she seems to lack empathy in serious matters.

[slatyb]

Unacceptable means "if this continues I'm leaving the marriage." It's that what you mean? If scolding get turns her on, maybe what she wants is a DD (domestic discipline) relationship. Ask her.

[CuChullan]

If you love her properly and show it, you'll never have any reason to "discipline" her.
Women aren't mere chattels, or house slaves to be subject to discipline. You're living in past centuries to be even thinking that way.

[slatyb]

You can't discipline your woman like a child unless that is an agreed part of your relationship.

[andreasderjuengere]

I had a quick laugh just now. She must be quite... 'cute'. Enjoy this, rather than feeling upset.

[danielmeegan]

Undisciplined they all resist whats good for them to irk you very common

[Anonymous]

The same way like a child. Spanking or even better ignoring her

[Anonymous]

Have you tried hitting her with a stick?

[Asker]

No, she'd probably like it.

[Opinion Owner]

Lol
Good girl.
When you say discipline I take it you mean “get her to stop pissing you off?”

[Asker]

More along the lines of stop smoking weed and act like an adult.

[BaileyisDarcy]

dude just break up with her if its that big an issue for you

[Opinion Owner]

Or if you can’t beat them join them

[Asker]

@BaileyisDarcy It's somewhat manageable, it's not like she's a maniac. I just want her to behave her age. It'd be silly to get divorced over something so small.

[BaileyisDarcy]

you're married at 21?

[Asker]

@BaileyisDarcy Haven't had the wedding yet but yeah. I'm Asian, that's normal in my culture.

[BaileyisDarcy]

In my culture its a disaster waiting to happen, so i suggest dont do it.

But you do you.

Considering your trouble with her being a brat... I mean i know i wouldn't put up with that, especially if she's showing no regard for what you want, and you're about to be married? Nuh, not cool.

Have you tried figuring out what annoys her about you and fixing that instead? Beyond that pfft

You can't help someone who won't help theirself. Trust me. I learned that shit the hard way.

[Asker]

@BaileyisDarcy We are married, we signed the contract. Generally she's a smart, funny, kind person but when she get's stressed she smokes weed which turns her into a completely different person and makes her do silly things and miss class and work, stay out late etc. I also think humour is one of her coping mechanism.

In her eyes I'm perfect.

[BaileyisDarcy]

You said you aren't married yet.

Are you or aren't you, im not helping a troll

[BaileyisDarcy]

Also bullshit you're perfect. Nobody is unless youve brainwashed her

[Asker]

@BaileyisDarcy So in my culture you first sign the legal documents, then you have the wedding ceremony. We're legally married but we've not had the wedding. It's different to western traditions.

I'm far from perfect, she only thinks I am. Perhaps perfect is the wrong word to use. In her eyes any flaws that I have are negligible. Doesn't stop her from yelling at me though.
It's a bit complicated but she's a bit insecure.

[Dingsbums]

Lol sounds cute