Why don't western/asian women like Asian men?

[PerryDaBud]

Asian women's access to dating is gigantic, western men LOVES them, but it goes the opposite for Asian men, neither western women or Asian women likes Asian men, they say that Asian men are unattractive, short and too brown, this makes me very sad, I might will be lonely forever in the future. I am so confused! If western men are loved by Asian women, then why aren't Asian men?

[TreelonMusk]

I think it has more to do with Asian men's behavior. I have many Asian men friends and they usually have no problem getting hot women. This is because they're confident and great guys. However most Asian men aren't like them, they're usually insanely stifled and shy. This doesn't work in the western world. If you're an Asian man, try and get over the incredibly meek attitude that is prevalent in your culture. Do don't have to suddenly be a loudmouth now, but you're gonna have to push that comfort zone and raise the level of your self expression and confidence. Hang out with people you wouldn't otherwise hang out with. Hang out with the guys who get girls. I promise if you're really authentic about it they'll be down to help you, since you're trying to help yourself.

[PerryDaBud]

Wow, I'm really related to that kind of Asian guy, I'm an introvert, welp, I guess I have to work on to become an extrovert! Haha :D

[TreelonMusk]

The critical distinction that I want you to understand is that you don't have to become something you're not. If you have a more chill or laid back vibe in your life, that's totally fine and you can absolutely be proud of it to other people. All I'm saying is that you should push yourself to be CAPABLE of being loud, assertive and even dominant in social situations. Just get the tool, so you can keep it in the back of your tool belt for when your other tools that you'd prefer to use aren't working. Preferring to be quiet is absolutely fine. There are just situations where being quiet is an inappropriate response, or AT LEAST not a GOOD response, in the same way that being a loud, gregarious motherfucker is not always appropriate at a funeral. You have to be ABLE to assert yourself when it is needed even if it isn't something you'd prefer to do a lot of and it's not your favorite thing to do. That's what I mean.

[PerryDaBud]

thank you for your answer

[SuperManiac]

When talking about the preferences of Asian women, I don't find that as true here in Japan except among a minority (a nontrivial one, and possibly growing, but a minority nevertheless) of Japanese women (and in Tokyo, they often hang out in Roppongi). It might relate to affluence. A poorer nation might have more women looking outward than inward for partners.

Among Westerners, I think the tendency for Asians to have reduced muscle mass and bone density and height is going to be considered less favorable for men, but perhaps even a positive for women. Likewise, the tendency for Asians to be more traditional about things like gender roles might be perceived as more of a plus for women, but more of a negative for men.

[SuperManiac]

The traditions and gender roles are also one of the more frequent reasons I encounter among the minority of Japanese women who favor Westerners, e. g. The ones who do this often dislike the idea of becoming like a traditional Japanese housewife in my experience, so they look to Western men for a very different kind of relationship.

[PerryDaBud]

I see, thank you for your time, I appreciated your answer!

[SuperManiac]

Cheers. I wouldn't be too discouraged though. If you can develop confidence and talk to women comfortably and distinguish yourself from other guys, I think you'll do just fine. I've had some shy Thai friends who complained about things like this and later they overcame their shyness and found a nice wife.

[SuperManiac]

Another thing and I'm a bit reluctant to suggest this because it's not the healthiest (taller people tend to have proportionately shorter lifespans), but a lot of young Japanese these days are skyrocketing in height and mass (I'm finding a nontrivial minority of Japanese teenage guys over 6 feet tall), and I suspect it's due to increased consumption of things like meat and dairy. Those products often contain growth hormones that transfer to the human body. So I'm very reluctant to suggest this, but it might help since you're young to grow taller and gain some more muscle mass if you consume more of these things.

[PerryDaBud]

Wow... that maybe the reason why nowadays japan has so much elders! And also I didn't know the fact that taller people tend to have shorter lifespans! That was a shocking truth!

[SuperManiac]

In general, with more HGH in the body, the person will grow taller but tends to become more susceptible to certain cancers and other diseases.


With Okinawans who tend to have more centenarians (people living to be over 100 years) than anywhere else in the world, the average height of a man was something like 5'2 and even shorter than Japanese. Reduced overall caloric intake also tends to be proportional to longer lifespans provided it doesn't result in malnutrition (there was a study one time I encountered that discovered that feeding rats 70% of their caloric intake resulted in a about 25% increase or so in average lifespan compared to the other control group).

[PerryDaBud]

Wow you're pretty smart, how do you know so much information?

[SuperManiac]

I'm just a nerd when it comes to subjects like fitness and nutrition, and there is a lot of curiosity in Japan for why our Okinawan neighbors have some of the longest-living people in the world in spite of inferior medical care and so forth. So it's somewhat of a popular area of study in Japan.

[PerryDaBud]

Haha, well I had a great conversation with you Mr. Maniac, I hope you have a great weekend!

[SuperManiac]

Cheers!

[williael]

Maybe you're just not where the western women are who are attracted to Asians. My daughter and her friends are crazy for Asian guys. They listen to Korean music and watch Chinese shows on Netflix, etc. The BTS movie opening next week is practically sold out already due to the girls around here. Also, in college, my best friend was crazy about a guy from Hong Kong. He didn't seem responsive, and she didn't know what to say to him. There are some language and social barriers that western girls don't know how to address. Our high school has a Korean foreign exchange student, and he seems totally unaware that the girls all want to know him!

[nerms123]

The main problem is that some Asian cultures don’t treat women very well. Western women don’t want to be controlled or treated like children by the man or his family.

[PerryDaBud]

I respect your opinion, thank you for sharing your reply!

[Hiri1994]

But americanised Asian men knows that they live in the west so they are different from people in Asia

[mattdzz]

Well, Western (i. e. white) looks are seen as a premium in the world, which is demonstrated by the prevalence of eye-lid surgery, blond hair bleaching, skin bleaching, etc. around the world (especially in S. Korea); so, white guys have that going for them.
White people are also the majority in Western countries, which will mean that although Asian girls can date anybody, most of the guys they can date will be white. White people are seen as a good social investment, as they don't leave their kids like blacks, but as far as Asian guys go: they are generally seen as being smaller, less masculine, and more nerdy.
This may not always be the case, but it all adds up to Western/ White guys being more attractive to Asian girls.

[TheKack]

Plenty of people will find you attractive when you are at an age to make those decisions. "Western men" just happen to have a wider range of interest in our women. We are very diverse in the US, compared to the rest of the world, and some men prefer pale, white women, some prefer black women, some Latina women, some Asian, and some don't care at all.

My recommendation is to just relax. You're still a kid. Just go with the flow and enjoy your life, women find independent, goal oriented, successful men to be very attractive.

[PerryDaBud]

Thank you for your response! I appreciated it!

[Adam1978]

First of all don't discard them so early most Asian girls date westerners because we date independent of their age and don't mind that they reached 25+ and isn't married. We are certainly not taking girls from 13 years old boy. We are just happy to take your rejects off your hand. We just think they have a dating value their whole adult life.

[PerryDaBud]

I see, thank you for spending your time here!

[GalacticPlatypus]

This may be you experience, but I have several friends that exclusively date Asian guys. And likewise I've met several Asian women that would not bat an eye at me or other western men. It comes down to the preference of the individual.

[PerryDaBud]

I see, thank you for answering my question!

[GalacticPlatypus]

Not a problem. If you've ever used Tinder in another country you would see what I mean.

In Japan, cities like Osaka and Tokyo I usually didn't interest anyone because I was just another foreigner. However two hours north of Tokyo people were interested in me just because I was a foreigner.

Preferences play a lot into it. I prefer short hair on women, and that's not something typically seen much in western countries and certainly isn't the norm. I've met more Asian women with short hair, thus I'm attracted to them.

The same thing can be said about height, muscle mass, demeanor, etc. A person's preferences will dictate that.

[MadBoy]

Because apparently there's a couple stigmas of Asian men. Small dicks, little to no sex drive, little to no emotional care for their partner, all attention on work, weird/creepy hobbies (that's what I've heard some people call anime and manga anyways...)... I think that's it.

[Hiri1994]

Well because of media influence Asian men are seen as a undesirable by all women including westernized Asian woman. Bc women in general don't like people who are short and look Asian. Asian look kinda femmine that doesn't attract women attention in general. Even if Asian guy is tall and well build they still have big problem to find girlfriend.

[markscott]

I've talked with Asian women who are westernized at least to a degree, and they say they are not fond of Asian men, because they are too over bearing. In general.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s that bad and you’re too young to be worried about that yet , things may change as you get older or maybe you can do something to be different than the rest and stand out, get muscular or learn another language

[PerryDaBud]

Thank you for spending your time on my post, I really appreciated it!

[Opinion Owner]

No problem

[Anonymous]

You know i wouldn’t mind dating an Asian guy brought up in a western way.

[ChefCurry]

That's complete bullshit. Asian countries dont have many minority groups.

[Maya1209]

Because they’re short, skinny

[PerryDaBud]

This is so sad, oof :(

[saeyamazaki]

again. A stereotype.