Does nudity with opposite gender friend mean anything?

[BruinBlue2]

A platonic female friend and I had plans to go to dinner and a movie. She came over earlier than expected, which was fine, but when I told her I still had to shower she asked if I minded her coming into the bathroom too (just to sit and chat, not join me in the shower. This genuinely happened and girls aren’t like that).

I said “ok” because it felt kind of... weird or whatever... to say “no” when it’s just her seeing me naked, nothing more.

I felt kind of shy/embarrassed at first but she made no effort to hide looking ‘down there’ and it kind of didn’t feel so awkward and exposing. I don’t really know what to ask other than for genuine reactions and thoughts. Thanks all!!

[MissDawn7961]

not all girls shower with men so anyone who says other wise about women , lies ! for no woman / lady wants to see you men's ugly penises ! Thanks

[ohdeeryme]

I honestly think that it means you're very comfortable with eachother. Definitely a very strong friendship you have with her.

[BruinBlue2]

Why do you say “strong?” Because I didn’t say no or because she pretty obviously doesn’t feel threatened by my nudity? I still feel totally platonic towards her, which is why I’m debating whether to apologize / joke / totally dismiss bringing up something that I don’t want to have her misconstrue: ... two things grew, one of them was a feeling of shame/embarrassment... I’m sure you can guess the other. Does she know it’s an innocent reaction, one I tried desperately to contain from happening? I don’t want her to feel “perv’d” on or think I’m signaling something more

[ohdeeryme]

Well put it this way... when you're nude, you are vulnerable. If you feel comfortable with somebody while you're nude it means that even though you are platonic, you have a nice platonic bond with her. You didn't perv. You were keeping a conversation without clothes. I have like 8 guy friends in my group and I've known them long enough to go out in my bra to grab a shirt or something. It just means you are good friends. I personally could have a nude conversation with a few of my female friends with out problem, but that doesn't mean I am attracted to them. Does that make sense?

[BruinBlue2]

Oh, totally!! I think that is (or should be) the natural and “healthy” response. My shower has a half-door glass partition, so no curtain meaning no cover. When it started to ‘grow’ I turned away as best I could until she asked: “why is this weird for you? It’s not for me, or I wouldn’t be in here. But ‘turning’ and ‘hugging the wall’ makes it feel like YOU think it’s weird, and that kind of sucks. That you can be vulnerable about your feelings, dreams, nightmares... but not simple nudity? I don’t care if ur 3 inches, 7, or 10. You’ve seen me topless and I didn’t feel threatened by you, why do you feel threatened by me?”

[BruinBlue2]

The first time I saw her topless she said “look all you want but be respectful.” And I’m pretty sure that’s all it was in this case but i guess the fact that she could easily “observe” me having a reaction. Even if she stared at the ceiling, which she offered and I declined (right move, yea?), cause despite my discomfort I wanted to prove it’s nothing ‘weird’ or ‘worth hiding.’

[ohdeeryme]

Absolutely. Neither of you wronged your friendship. Of anything you made it stronger. Don't worry about this and when in doubt communicate with her to see if there is anything that needs to be talked about.

[BruinBlue2]

Is it odd that she’s so nonchalant about my nudity, the ‘reaction’ I had, and openly just looking? Not staring, she looked at me when we were talking, but otherwise her eyes wandered “there” a lot. What was most unexpected was how sexually turned-off I was and that through sheer power of embarrassment and shame (rightfully or wrongfully so?) I got ‘up’ enough for it to be standing nearly straight out from my body, and my biggest fear was offending her or it being awkward for her in even a minor way.

[ohdeeryme]

Honestly dude... I would really talk to her about this. This is a very complicated ask so my best advice is to hit her up and ask her if things are weird between both of you or something.

[BruinBlue2]

Yea I feel you, that’s basically what I’ve come to as well. Just freezes me to think how to start that convo: “hey so about that erection... I hate my dick sometimes and he doesn’t always speak for me. Such is the case here”?

[Quoria]

Probably not platonic to her
I would never ask my platonic male friend to do that

[BruinBlue2]

That’s exactly where im confused!! She knows I would never (and have never) tried... anything. I don’t do that with platonic friends, I respect them. Nudity doesn’t bother me or “excite” me when there’s nothing sexual going on. Maybe I’m weird. But why would my feeling embarrassed/shy/awkward, what I’m assuming was obvious to her, be any kind of turn on? And I’m honestly asking, is it possible for a girl to see a male friend naked, look openly just because... hey it’s nudity, why not? ... , but feel ONLY innocent curiosity? Or is there likely always something “more” being communicated here?

[Quoria]

I don’t want to see my guy friends naked unless they are really attractive but even then he wouldn’t be just a friend I guess. Yeah I think there’s something more going on here

[BruinBlue2]

Yea, that’s the response I was kind of dreading. Tho thank you for your honest opinion! Sincerely :) A naked guy is not just ehh, it’s kind of gross, right? Why? I wish that weren’t true for as many as it seems to be because it kind of makes this whole thing feel wrong

[Quoria]

I wouldn’t say kind of gross but a naked person at all if I’m not dating them is kind of ehh

[Quoria]

Guy or girl. And you’re welcome

[BruinBlue2]

I’ll take “ehh” over offended or grossed out. It’s too bad innocent curiosity has been ruined by the predatory nature of some

[Anonymous]

This just sounds like you’re horny right now and coming up with some fantasy story

[BruinBlue2]

That’s fair. I asked for any and all honest opinions, I’ll take the good with the bad. But your response does raise a question: why bother?

If you think it’s bs, fine. But why take the time to cast doubt on the sincerity of my character rather than just move on? I won’t deny there must be a sizable present of the type of trolls you seem to be accusing me of being.

But from where I’m standing, you’re the troll. What if, against your suspicions, this is an honest post? Why try to intimidate or shame someone for seeking anonymous, consequence-free advice?

Cause that’s what this platform is. Rather than mess something up with a good friend or SO by ‘winging-it’ in some situation that a little honest advice might have provided a better understanding of the situation, people can ask here. Ask people they don’t know and will never meet.

You’re mean spirited to attempt to deny someone that. Even if you really were speaking your honest opinion, and not just another worthless troll in this digital society, why not spend your time working to better those around you? Both physically and digitally, why tear society down rather than work to build it up?

[Opinion Owner]

This is my attempt to build it up. If it’s just a story, me calling you out on it hopefully will stop you from going on and on with it so people don’t waste their time reading and encouraging you. If it’s true then ignore my comment and see what other people are saying.

[BruinBlue2]

Tactfully spoken, thank you

[Anonymous]

Maybe she's comfortable? Is she gay by chance? or she's quenching some sort of desire and can stop at that or a hint of wanting more?