If a girl responds with short text answers a lot, does it mean that I'm bothering her?

[Anonymous]

Yes

No

[jojo113204]

You said "Well, we have been talking for months almost every day and, recently, I got the feeling that I had been the one carrying the conversation"

it could mean that she's loosing interest in you. It sounds like you like even love this girl a lot, you should get it out in the open tell her how u feel, ask her what's changed, see how she feels about u now.

[Asker]

I already told her how I feel, multiple times. I'm not sure about asking if something changed, I'm afraid she might take it badly.

[jojo113204]

Did she tell you how she feels about you?

[Asker]

Yes but maybe it changed by now.

[jojo113204]

And you're afraid to ask. It's better to know and fix it soon than to wait until it's gone too far and too late to fix

[Asker]

You're right, maybe I should do that.

[jojo113204]

It's all about how u approach the situation okay. I wish you the best and I hope she cares for you, the way you care for her.

[Asker]

Thanks, I really hope too. Maybe it's just because she is shy or not very good at texting and I'm overthinking stuff.

[jojo113204]

Once you ask you will know and if that's the case that should eases your mind.

[coachTanthony]

Bothering or boring her yes. Texting should really only be used for planning dates and such anyway.

Get her on the phone!

[Asker]

She is too shy to talk to me "in person"

[coachTanthony]

Wouldn't that be the goal for people to talk in person? Or you just making excuses so you don't have to raise your standards?

[Asker]

Of course I want to talk in person. I don't understand your bit about raising my standards though.

[coachTanthony]

Standards of how you want to be treated? Did she say she is too shy to talk to you in person or are you allowing the behavior?

[Asker]

She said it multiple times but I let her know how much I wish we could talk in person. I prefer to leave her some time until she feels comfortable doing it.

[coachTanthony]

How old are you two?

[Asker]

We are both in our early 20s.

[coachTanthony]

You guys capable of meeting up or is she half way cross the planet? Have you ever met her face to face before?

[Asker]

She is halfway across the planet so not, we have not met in person yet.

[coachTanthony]

Why you wasting time on someone you can't even meet in person?

[Asker]

I can meet her in person, I can always fly there. She is just "worth a lot" to me, she has all the "requirements" and has tons of "bonus qualities". Describing her as wife material would be an understatement.

[coachTanthony]

Okay dude.. well I hope it works out for you!

[October808]

Find someone closer. You're being played.

[Anonymous]

It could. She could also just be bad at texting or shy. Ask her what she's doing and if she's busy you'll see that on her answer

[ImSparkly]

Maybe not bothering, but if your making me carry the conversation, I won't bother after a while and also send short replies.

[Asker]

I have been the one carrying the conversation for a while and I feel like I don't want to anymore :/

[ImSparkly]

Yeah, then maybe she's just not that into you.

[Asker]

As much as it hurts me to say that, maybe it's time for me to get away, maybe she was not the one after all...

[ImSparkly]

Or she's playing the whole hard to catch game, which is BS. If you want to play the game and see where it goes, hang on, otherwise, check out.

[Asker]

I don't know, she does not look like the kind of person to play that kind of games. Maybe I'm overthinking too but one thing is sure, it's starting to hurt me.

[ImSparkly]

Sorry sweetie. Nothing wrong with playing the game and keeping an eye out. She had first dibs, its up to her to show some more interest, she may not be that assertive though.

[Asker]

She is very shy and does not open up easily so maybe that's why but she told me about a lot of personal stuff so we are pretty close. She is also scared of starting a new relationship so I don't know.

[ImSparkly]

So maybe you are reading into things. I know if I spill my inner secrets, I can be a little withdrawn afterwards as I'm trying to see how he handles my vulnerability. Is it going to be used against me? is it ok, and he accepts it, or $ELSE. So there's still a chance.

[Asker]

I really don't know, I feel so lost, anything could be possible and I don't want to invest myself more if it's to suffer more. I don't want to keep believing in an illusion.

[ImSparkly]

Then for right now accept it as a friend that you can share deep thoughts with. See where it goes. Its still ok to invest in friends, just have some boundaries.

[Asker]

Yes, that's not a problem if we are only friends, but my problem is like I think I "invest more than I get back".

[ImSparkly]

Thats when you have to set some boundaries. What are you willing to give? Some people will suck you dry, and not in a good way, so you have to know your limits. An ear is one thing, an occasional dinner, same, but asking for money or a kidney is out of bounds.

[Asker]

We have not met in person yet but I'm talking about emotional stuff like giving support or listening.

[October808]

Call her on the phone. Don't text. People used to talk on phones all the time. When IRC was in its infancy; basically when the internet was in its infancy people met in chat rooms. You'd exchange photos and see if you liked what you saw. Then you'd swap phone #s and call each other, sometimes long distance. Then you'd build from that or go your own way.

[Asker]

@October808 I can't.

[EpicDweeb]

It depends entirely on the girl. That is a very common meaning for that style of texting, however, there are plenty of people who just use that as their texting style and you need to simply learn each person you text on an individual level of what style they prefer and use for different situations. Best thing you can do is ask her. It's the sort of thing where a person isn't going to be upset that you're trying to respect their boundaries. It's okay to ask if you're bothering them and if you need to give them space.

[HeyMikie]

It could. It could also mean that she doesn't like texting or is shy or she is not very literate or the language that the two of you are communicating in is not her native language. by the way, it is OK to ask her if you are bothering her. Just be prepared to receive whatever answer she gives you.

[arabgoddess]

Guys do it too! Both are as equal when it comes to communication styles

[Asker]

I never claimed that they did not, I'm just looking for an explanation.

[arabgoddess]

How can you explain something that is human for both genders

[Asker]

What do you mean? It would even make it easier to explain if more people do it. That's the whole point of psychology.

[arabgoddess]

Yeah right.. Easily explained >> people are just more slack these days 🙄

[Asker]

Eh, I'm not sure if this explanation works in this situation.

[arabgoddess]

🙄🙄🙄 I should ask the same question as you and change the word girl to a boy... Maybe then you can give us your insight

[Asker]

What are you talking about? I am looking for insight here, I just think the explanation you gave me does not fit the situation.

[btbc92]

No. Stop assuming and ask her those things. Do not ask us. We do not respond the same way. Some people do it because their bored and it's not always you.

[holograph]

she might not like you, she might be busy, she might be bad at conversation, etc.

So the answer to your question is a definite "maybe"

[Thatsamazing]

Sadly, yeah.
Guys-- What it means if she never, ever texts first. ↗

[SueAnon84]

I would think man or woman if they don't respond a lot or only do short texts like it's a chore then yes!

[SarahsSummer]

Most likely unless you are only asking closed end questions that only require a yes or no answer.

[October808]

That or they're about to ask you to enter your credit card information into an Adult ID verification site as a condition to continue talking to them.

[Anonymous]

It depends on each person, their reasons may differ.

[Anonymous]

sounds like she’s giving you the cold shoulder. Give her some space. Don’t text her for a few day maybe even a week or 2 . If she misses receiving text from you she’ll eventually begin texting you

[Asker]

Isn't this ghosting her?

[Opinion Owner]

No. It’s like using the no contact rule. Going silent on her gives her time to miss you. If she really likes you, After not hearing from you for a week or 2 she will begin to miss you. The main thing is let her contact you first

[_SOARER_]

It can certainly feel that way sometimes.
I don't know, depends on the girl.

[saggy4loveu]

I had such experience in past

[Asker]

How did it turn out?

[saggy4loveu]

As time goes messages went short n short... Later at one time it gets stop

[Asker]

So you lost contact?

[saggy4loveu]

Yes I lost contact forever with her :(

[saggy4loveu]

What is your experience

[Asker]

Well, we have been talking for months almost every day and, recently, I got the feeling that I had been the one carrying the conversation most of the time so I'm not sure. Maybe it's just the way she texts or maybe it's something else but this uncertainty is kind of painful.

[Ray_Lala]

Yes or she is really busy

[MoscowMitch]

Yes, if the answers are mostly "Fuck off loser".

[frazsax]

It shows a lack of attention!

[taleets]

Most likely

[Texaskid1]

She is not into you.

[excusememiss]

Convo dry

[SissyFrenchMaid]

probably