How can I make my girlfriend happy when she's so much more experienced than me?

Question

We're both 20 and have been together for a couple of months. I know she's been in relationships with guys before (I haven't been with any girl before now) and is more confident than me generally, but last night I was holding her and she asked me why I haven't asked her mentioned sex yet, so I told her that I'm still a virgin and that I haven't had any relationships or experience with girls at all before. She seemed really surprised at how nervous I was and said it was really sweet and cute.

But sometimes I just don't feel good enough for her because I'm completely inexperienced and have no idea how to please her sexually. I'm prob obsessing too much over this but I'm scared I'll let in down in some way.

itsallgood2011 · Accepted Answer

hahahah..yeah don't worry about it.. use that card even when your not a virgin. It won't take you long before you get the experience you need.

Here is something that might help you..I was 27 when my first sex girlfriend called me up to talk . She told me that the sex with me really wasn't that good when we had it at age18. Well hell she got plowed by all sorts of guys Mexican, Whites, and Blacks and women after me. First off no way she could remember how I was with all that schlong. next who cares I was just excited to be in it. I wasn't going for prefection at least I can't remember. Maybe I'm too selfish in the bedroom..who the f cares? some scream they came once, multiple times, or not at all...but in the end my first time I was with for less than a year having sex. all I wanted to do was hammer that thing. If you can do better than that then your giving it to her better then most guys. I bet you anything her first guy sucked.

So lets recap..I banged this girl like crazy when I lost my viginity I wasn't trying to do anything special. If you actually try then your a couple steps ahead of my game when I lost mine. Keep in mind its your first time. Ask her - don't be intimidated. she is only 20 she isn't that experienced. have fun...and if you start losing interest in her before you break up with her ... give it to her good ..like all day all night...because that could be the last time you get to do that with her. You should always try the friends with benefits early on..just to see if you can do it. It has never been a good idea for me..Women have left my house crying..well my parents house at that age..but maybe it works for you.

LeeHART · Accepted Answer

You are good enough for her, she has been with you for a few months now and she hasn't forced sex upon you which shows great commitment towards each other.

The fact you have told her is great, because she will do everything she can to help you and she will enjoy that. Like some of the other people have posted, just be confident, don't be arrogant or cocky just be confident in yourself and be a man and please your girl, take your time, don't rush into it, that is essential. Girls love foreplay and being romantic with her will help, she will most likely find it a huge turn on if you set up some candles, dimmed the lights and then told her you were ready, she wouldn't be expecting it, and her seeing how confident you were about it will be a huge boost to you both in your first time.

Enjoy her whole body, kiss and touch every part of her body and she will feel you appreciate all of her and not just the main. You really don't need to think too much into not knowing how to please her, every guy has his own way in sex, and you're about to discover yours. Enjoy it, it only gets better!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Um trust me, the fact that you're trying and willing to learn what she likes will be good enough.We're born to instinctively know how to have sex, so don't worry about that part.Just pay attention to how she reacts to what you do and you'll learn pretty quick.

My boyfriend is a virgin too, and we're in a long distance relationship, so we talk about what turns us on, for the most part.You can try discussing that in a fun,sexy way, like whispering stuff into her ear [i.e. I love it when you bite my neck], and if she'll play along, you can get into more intimate topics.This could work against you when you have sex though if you'll be focusing on what she told you and what you're 'supposed to do' instead of enjoying the moment.

guinnesslass1759 · Accepted Answer

I can tell you my twin sister was experienced and her ex husband was a virgin when they got together they were 16 at the time and she had already been with a couple people so he felt the same way-insecure and like he couldn't please her as good as someone else may have in the past ...fist off congrats on keeping it so long that is a great thing no matter what anyone says..i also was until I was 19 and was proud of it :) so Id talk to her about what she like ..maybe tell her to talk dirty with you and see what her fantasies are and then do them oneday unexpectedly ...that is the bst thing ever for a girl when a guy remembers(lol) something like that and does it out of nowhere!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

dont worry about it.. if she doesn't care that your a virgin, then she clearly loves you and is willing to help you through it. It might make it even more of a turn on for her because she is teaching you what pleasures her, so in the future you will be doing every thing she wants you too, and that pleasures her. Where as in the past, the guys have been experienced and they know how they like it, so they won't really do what she wants, but if she is in charge the first coupleof times, you will really pleasure her in the future

Erik_Andersson · Answer

A couple of months, and no sex? That's too long. Go for it.

One piece of advice: use your hands more than you think you need to. Guys want to go directly for the essential stuff, but as always girls want to beat around the bush before getting down to business. Remember a girl wants to be carressed and kissed pretty much everywhere: she has sex with her whole body. (Don't waste time below the thighs though.) And just when you think you are done with one area or one part of your repertoire, you should repeat it and take twice as long.

Also, be firm and not nervous. Doesn't mean to be rough (unless she likes that...), but be a man. Maybe do some push-ups and jogging beforehand to feel more secure about yourself, or something that you are really good at.

Or I could just say that it doesn't matter as long as you love each other, etc.

Quadrophonic84 · Answer

If she has no problem with you being a virgin and really means it's sweet and cute to her, you've got nothing to worry about man. She knows you wouldn't really know too much about what to do in the sack and so there's not really any expectations. My guess is that she's actually a little excited and turned on about the idea of guiding you through all that stuff and pretty much teaching you to do the things she likes. Just remember that as you gain confidence and learn how to do things and what you and she like, get more aggressive with her and show her you get it and you're getting manly about it. It's like paying her back for being gentle and understanding with you now. She'll love it, guaranteed.

LostWonder94 · Answer

Yes real relationships shouldn't be based on sex but if that time comes when you two get to that point,follow this advice.

1.Foreplay!At least spend 10-20min doing it,kissing,fingering etc.

2.Wear a CONDOM.It is safe,reduces the chance of getting a std and pregnancy,and the best part is,some condoms will make you feel nothing,so..you last longer while you please her.

3.When you feel like you are about to reach the end,try stopping and slowly kiss her until you feel good again.

I am not a expert or anything but try those if ya want xD

Distant · Answer

If you're worried about not pleasing her, do things like cuddling, massages and foreplay. These all increase the female's pleasure by a lot. If you don't know how to do things like foreplay, there are several places to learn in explicit detail (I'm sure you know what I mean). Cater to her needs more than your own. Ask her what she likes and then listen to what she says. Don't be too nervous. Things should come naturally.

~Distant

Motorcycle_Girl · Answer

Ask her questions and take it slow, sex takes practice just like anything else.  Which is complicated by every guy and girl being different.  I did a cougar thing last year and stole the virginity of a 19 year old virgin.  Was he horrible the first time? Yes, but it was still exciting just to watch him experience all of it for the first time.  Time passed, and I trained him well and sent him out into the world with some skills. ;)

Anonymous · Answer

You're definitley obsessing too much. Most girls aren't big fans of their first sexual experiences anyway, so it's not like you have some HUGE expectation to beat. The greatest danger you face is from yourself. If you worry about it and make a big deal, you'll come off as less than confident, secure and fun and that will be a HUGE turnoff to your girl. Your discomfort will go from "sweet and cute" to "unmanly, weak and a turnoff" pretty quickly, so snap out of it.

You'll give her a great experience if you take your time, touch her EVERYWHERE, use light teasing pressure at first and SLOWLY turn up the heat as she gets more relaxed and more turned on.

Sapphires4Life · Answer

I understand your concern, but I wouldn't worry to much about it.  If she really likes you, she'll understand.  If you want to have some idea to please her sexually, then casually ask her... when you're ready, of course.

Anonymous · Answer

Id say ask her to teach you some stuff (: be confident about yourself! I bet she will love to teach you new things trust me, it happened to my boyfriend aswell, I was his first girlfriend and first on everything even kissing and we were both 17 at the time (:. He asked me to teach him new things and slowly we became closer than ever ! Don't worry about anything (: if she loves\like you a lot she will anderstand! Good luck! xoxo

uncle_answers · Answer

oh man let her teach you all she knows, there are men who DREAM about being in your position! don't be nervous, just let her instruct you - it will turn her on something wicked!

LouieLouie · Answer

I def. would not worry about it! My boyfriend and I were in the same boat. I would suggest fore play for sure before you start anything, that will build up your confidence and get you both in the mood. Then just go for it - don't worry she will help you out and let you know what she likes and what she doesnt, and you can do the same too. You won't let her down at all, girls don't base a relationship just on sex. Just have fun and go with it, trust me you will be fine!

Anonymous · Answer

It's normal what you have!

I am a girl.. And was feeling the same way!

they key is; confident.. Don't mix it with argent

put on a playful loving prince charming face ;)

be happy calm

don't get nerves

be loving and caring; don't be clingy + asshole =)

you should be fine ~

just go slowly

nohamrat · Answer

I wouldn't worry about it, you've told her so that's good, I doubt she will think any different of you and will give you a break for it, she probably feels nervous herself or maybe feel bad that she has been with others before.

Just take it slow and no need to rush into sex, but if you decide you do, maybe have a pull or something before you see her, if you know what I mean. xD

toosexualcat · Answer

If she's the right girl she'll be patient with you.  I had to be patient with my boyfriend too as he hadn't had anyone else before me either.

minan1234 · Answer

Ok lets do it this way. No mata how experienced a lady is, the main thing about their satisfaction is making them come. For a start,try to stimulate her clitoris for a longtime with you tongue or the head of your pennis while sucking her nippo. Don't border about f***ing her yet. Just hold strong until you find out she jerks-off and release some sweet with come from her pussy. Now she is so weak and you can start f***ing her easy.

DirtyDlish · Answer

lol yo you need to get over that hump. tell her    I want you to show me how to f***. I promise she will help you out.

cacapisu · Answer

Just be wild, works every time. And girls can confirm this Don't you like when your man is wild and bed and feel like he's the boss ?

lolli · Answer

Just ask her to teach you stuff. Or get a how to book

Anonymous · Answer

I think you should just go for it. She's expecting you to. As for the inexperience... Most people aren't gonna be good their first time, but this girl knows your a virgin, so she will be expecting this. just keep at it, the more you sleep with your partner the more you will learn what turns her on. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect ;)

diamond3 · Answer

if she is willing to work with you then it is ok.. but if she isn't then you have a problem

mortablunt · Answer

You don't; you just hope she's willing to teach you and tolerate a less skillful partner.

guinnesslass1759 · Answer

alos she should be happy that she can teach you everything she knows/likes so it would always be good for you both lol you will eventually figure out things your into and will love a lot of diff things!

Anonymous · Answer

I think good sex can be learned... how did she get good?  probably she practiced it.

Anonymous · Answer

don't worry, real relationships arne't based on sex.

JAKScullen · Answer

Smash her face with a hammer

How can I make my girlfriend happy when she's so much more experienced than me?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

My girlfriend is way more experienced than me, is it good or bad?

How can I make my girlfriend happy when she's so much more experienced than me?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

My girlfriend is way more experienced than me, is it good or bad?

We're glad to see you liked this post.