(ONLINE) Does my female friend like me romantically?

[Anonymous]

We're both females -- not sure if that matters. She's bi (?)

We were close (online) friends 6 years ago and hung out a lot. I was conflicted about my feelings for her but she began dating a guy and I felt like I was tossed aside. I didn't want to deal with that so I just dropped her from my life and walked away.

A few years later, she reaches out to me and tells me she cared for me more than she did for the guy she was dating when I ended the friendship and she's told me a few times since that losing me was one of her biggest regrets these past few years.

I really didn't want to deal with her as I knew our history and the drama it created. But I still messaged her occasionally though I kept my distance. COVID-19 happened and I wasn't as busy with school so I was bored and started talking to her more and once school was over I spent more and more time with her to which we eventually started voice chatting every day. It's been about 2 months now that we've talked nearly everyday from the time she got home from work (or me from school) until we both had to go to bed. She always compliments me and we always both have a difficult time hanging up at the end of our calls.

She has mentioned to me that she doesn't like to be lonely so I'm not sure if she's just clinging to me because she's currently single (I also just got out of a relationship not too long ago) and doesn't want to be lonely or she just enjoys me as a really good friend, or if she's thinking something more. There's just mixed signals. She mentioned while she had wine that she had a thing for me back then and that she was dating a girl next. Unsure if she was joking.

TL;DR friend from a long time ago, stopped being friends when she got a new boyfriend, started texting occasionally a few years ago, this year began talking more, and past 2 months voice call nearly every day for many hours. She has said she doesn't like being lonely so I'm unsure if she likes me or just like the attention I give her.

[Kaneki05]

That's cute. And probably yes. I know if i joked about that it would be a kinda not joking to see your reaction thing or hint. But the only way you gonna know if you ask. And it's really not that awkward since she kinda already mentioned it, you can just try to bring that up by saying would you maybe feel that way now? Or say i like that you did have a thing for me tbh. Just say it casually and normally things won't get awkward really.

[Asker]

Well, it was said a few weeks ago so it seems kind of silly to bring it up now and I'm not sure if she even remembers saying it. I know when she said it, I responded with, "oh really?" and she said yes and I responded, "that's nice." Probably not the best response. Alcohol lowers inhibitions so I really didn't want to discuss something like that while she was buzzed/tipsy.

[Kaneki05]

That's nice yeah yikes response there. Alcohol does but it also makes us confident to just say what we want to say and I don't know why she would be thinking about it without some hint. But yeah could be weird to mention it now. And people can be weird and just say oh i was just joking and brush you off and hurt your feelings for asking. But i never understood that myself kinda weird to mention something like that but not mean it.
But either way i would just ask if she does like more than a friend. It's the only way to know, Plus if she say's no just say my bad and laugh it off just saying ah you just couldn't get your mind off the time she said that etc and then it don't really matter if it was a bit ago.

[Asker]

Haha. I guess I forgot to mention that we generally say pretty flirty things to each other quite often so that's why it's a little harder to tell for certain. But the way you said it seems like a great casual way to bring it into the conversation! I'll be sure to do that once I can psyche myself up to ask casually lol.

[Kaneki05]

Don't overthink it and don't expect it to be all good or all bad just see what happens. Hope it goes for the best tho and even if it don't well you can just stay close friends afterwards i would of thought.

[Asker]

Just thought I’d update and say she did end up liking me lol.

[Kaneki05]

Great :) Hope it goes well. Told ya all you need to do is ask. someone normally always makes a hint to that they like you if they do. And even if they don't well never knowing is worse than knowing either way.

[ManWithThePlan123]

It's hard to tell. It's sounds to me like she is more worried about being alone rather than actually wanting to be with you. Why did she say you were more important than the guy she was dating? That's the part that really doesn't make sense to me. I'd say don't worry about it, because whether it is a yes or a no, it will hurt you in the long run I feel.

[Asker]

Yeah. I've had a few people say she just wants the attention but then I gave more info (2000 character limit doesn't do the story justice lol) and then people weren't really sure because they thought it could easily go both ways. I think she said that she cared for me more than the guy she was with at the time. So that just kind of confused me as I don't know whether to interpret that as she just wanted to be with someone so she was with him or if she enjoyed my company more or what. It's honestly a mess haha.

[ManWithThePlan123]

Well I'm glad I don't have to figure it out lol

[Iron_Man]

Find yourself a real man and don’t live in that evil world

[Avicenna]

Sure sounds like it