Why are women (of all ages) so confident that guys are okay with the friendzone?

[Anonymous]

Just a disclaimer I haven’t accepted a friendzone nor let a woman string me along with this bs in over 10 years. I got radar for it nowadays thanks to bad past experiences. But I still have women attempt this crap from time to time. It’s both frustrating and depressing.

If I’m interested in a girl and she doesn’t feel the same but wants to keep me around as a “friend” I’m quick to walk. It’s the only way to keep my self dignity. Once she decides she’s not attracted to me there is virtually nothing I can do to change her mind. If I stick around I’ll just get exploited for attention, one way favors and free counseling.

But what shocks & disgusts me is how women past 30 are still confident this is okay. I used to think this was a young girl’s game. I figured they would gain a better understanding of men of how men think. They would realize it’s extremely insulting to play dumb and pull that bs on a guy who has feelings. Yet I saw a 45 yr old woman on here admitting she still does that bs to guys because she likes the attention. Selfish, immature and disgusting.

Am I just seeing things? Or do women never grow up? I have had to reject a few girls in the last couple of years. I was always honest after the first date and treated them how I would like to be treated in that scenario (tactful honesty). I’m just shocked grown ass women are still doing this.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

Doesn’t matter what they’re okay with take the friendzone or leave it don’t try to advance that shit is creepy. You’re not a woman that’s been subjected to male rage for right out rejection of his advances. Women think friendzone is a neutral way to let a guy down gently.

[Anonymous]

If you come across a great, intelligent guy, or they start to develop feelings for you, they may want you to think they come off as classy and not as promiscuous, if they indeed are. So how long do you give them before they have to sleep with you to keep your interest at a peek?

[Asker]

They have to know you like them beyond a friend. The length of time can very. But the worst thing that happen is he invests a great deal of time, effort, money, heart just to have her lose interest.

Something’s happens after a woman sleeps with a guy. Before it happens she subconsciously looking for reasons to disqualify him. After she does it she is asking herself WHY she did it. Beforehand she is testing for negatives. Afterwards she is focusing more on positives.

But if you aren’t having any romantic contact with him (not necessarily sex but kissing etc) then there’s a problem.

The only expectation to all of this if you two agree to get married. I could wait in that scenario.

[Opinion Owner]

If she lost interest, that’s not your fault or hers. This is why I don’t agree to having sex with someone until I’m committed. I thought players don’t feel like they’re wasting their time and money when they know they’re getting laid.

[Opinion Owner]

It’s part of the game. I spend money on you, I get sex in return.

[Opinion Owner]

You don’t believe in soul mates and it sounds like you fall too fast thinking the next new chick. This is it, this is her, she has got to be the one. Your a hopeless romantic.

[Opinion Owner]

And your not over your ex. Which is bad bad bad

[Asker]

Nah I hit on few key points which you don’t want to admit to. Now you are making this personal and taking cheap shots which is bad bad bad. You are trying to get this off topic which is also bad bad bad. Your are not looking at this problem via 3rd person.

[Asker]

*3rd person perspective.

My f*cking ex has nothing to do with this. If you really want the nitty gritty on that one SHE has a higher sex drive than I did. I had to turn her down a few times. But she has absolutely NOTHING to do w

[Asker]

With my perspective on the friendzone. My observations come from what I’ve seen other women do especially in my youth.

[Opinion Owner]

Because these 20 yr olds you’re talking to wonder why someone so handsome and intelligent Such as yourself... someone so stable in life would want anything more than something superficial with them?

[Opinion Owner]

If I sleep with someone, it doesn’t mean they have all the qualities in someone I want! I want to feel mad for him, head over heels, the 1st and last person I think about, and can’t imagine being with anyone else.

[Opinion Owner]

This takes time for me. I do not fall in love easily. I lust and look but don’t act upon. I’m not trying to lead someone like you on.

[Opinion Owner]

I have to feel it in my gut

[Asker]

I’ve not taking home 20 yr olds. But I have been surprised that younger girls are usually more easy going vs older women who judge me quickly because of their emotional baggage.

I’m not so quick to judge (unless she says just wants to be friends). I’m not against dating someone my own age. But just like women hold older men to higher standards I hold older women to f*cking higher standards too.

I’ve been shocked how conceited grown ass women can act when it comes to dating. Flakiness, unfair shit tests, crappy communication skills and last but not least assuming men are okay the with the friend zone.

Your old enough to no better. Your old enough to understand that men want to be respected. Your old enough to know better that just because some other guy screwed your over years ago you have no right immediately distrust men

Where the hell did you come up with all these assumptions about me anyway?

[Opinion Owner]

I’m done.

[Asker]

You really got under my skin with the “you are not over your ex” comment. That is 100% unrelated to what I’m talking about and it really pissed me off.

That’s was a pristine example female cheap shot to get off topic. Don’t ever do that again.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Bc most guys are capable of being friends, bc they value friendship and can take no for an answer and still be ok, yes its hard but sooner or later would accept it if they can't better to say no thanks and move on

[Anonymous]

They are deluded. When you get older and more secure within yourself, you can just smile, wish them the best, and walk away confidently!!!

[Asker]

And I do exactly that. I’m not stupid.

But grown ass women still doing this crap is depressing.

[In_Trance]

It's not so much confidence as it is reality. Lots of guys are ok with this

[Gwenhwyfar]

Friendzones are okay

[Asker]

If that’s okay then so is pumping and dumping. Cough.

Bottom line is it NOT okay to exploit people when they have feelings. But then again with that I don’t expect you to change your mind. So go ahead and keep taking advantage of guys.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Friendzoning is not exploiting. It’s being friends. Mutual friends.

[Asker]

When someone is attracted to someone and the other person doesn’t feel the same way then one person is going to for more than the other (and not even realize it.).

Deep down you know the truth about this. But since friendzoning benefits you then you will never admit it .

[Gwenhwyfar]

Disagree, but okay.

[Asker]

Attraction isn’t a choice. But respect is. Assuming a man is okay “just being friends” when you know he is interested is very disrespectful. The right way to handle it is to be honest early about where you stand and let him decide to stay “friends” or walk.

But something tells me you probably aren’t forthcoming with guys are you?

[Gwenhwyfar]

I am always honest with guys. Easier that way.

[Asker]

Okay that’s a different story. You need to be honest and honest early (say you respect him). I get more pissed at grown as woman who “play dumb”. In my experience this is how most women friendzone.

Sure it’s not a comfortable conversation but it’s the right thing to do.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Sometimes the girl really is oblivious

[Asker]

That’s very rare. 99.99% of the time you play dumb so you have plausible deniability. You hope the guy will just “get the hint” without a confrontation. You also don’t want to lose the attention he’s giving you. It feels good even though you don’t feel attractive.

Just don’t do that. I confess I did the twice in my life got two different girls. One in HS and one in college. But from 25 on I was tactfully honest if I wasn’t interested. Because I KNOW how agonizing it is to be friend zoned I won’t do it to someone else.

[Asker]

*even though you don’t feel he’s attractive.

[Gwenhwyfar]

That’s cool

[Asker]

Alright thanks for hearing me out. Mature guys including myself know we aren’t entitled to romance, intimacy and sex just for being nice to a girl. We can accept (tactful) rejection. It needs to come from a place where the guy feels respected. The “friendzone” is usually the antithesis of that. It does exist and it does get abused. Just don’t do it (unannounced).

[Gwenhwyfar]

Fair enough