My girlfriend comes from a wealthy family, and it worries me about our future. What do you guys think about this situation?

[wtf636]

My girlfriend is from a fairly wealthy and religious indian family. Her parents purchased an apartment for her, paid for her very expensive education, and support her financially while she is in school. She is finishing her psychology doctorate and will be moving away soon and wants me to go with. With her education she will make a good living starting out, but has never really had to work for much in her life. At least financially. She works hard at school, but is a bit lazy at times elsewhere. Her brother is also my age, and makes about 500k a year and very well off, I feel I am compared to him a lot from her and her family. Her parents do not love the fact that I am white, but their "fortune teller" told them it would not work with an indian guy for her, so they are more open to it now, and at least I am not black... which is a huge taboo for a conservative indian family. But they have "accepted" me because I am white, make 6 figures (barely lol) and have a job they can be proud to tell others.

I am from a middle class, white, catholic midwest family. We didn't have a lot of money growing up, but my parents went back to school and managed to carve out a comfortable middle class life for us. Eventually making about 100k each. Recently retired. I went to Art School, lol I know. But studied graphic design. I didn't make much starting out, but I now work in the tech field as a UX designer and make about 100k a year. Have paid the majority of my 100k in student loans with a bit of help from my parents, and now am looking to buy my first house at 34. I have the potential to make up to 200-300k in the future.

She has mentioned that she wanted to marry a rich guy, that she doesn't want to work much, and judging by how wealthy and successful her family is, it is a bit intimidating for me. I worry If I don't reach the peak of my earning potential she will get bored or try and find someone more wealthy than me.

What do you guys think about this situation? What should I do?

[slatyb]

You should discuss this with your girlfriend. "I'm worried that we won't be able to maintain the lifestyle you are accustomed to -- I'm unlikely to ever earn as much as your father and brother..."

Also I'm wondering whether you have discussed your future religious life -- particularly the religious education of your future children. Or perhaps neither of you is religious. Even so, your parents may have expectations and you will need to agree on whether you will meet them.

[wtf636]

Yeah, I want to talk to her about it. I think I am maybe more worried about it than her, but I know it's something she thinks about. But the comments she makes and the stuff she has told me her parents are concerned about. The fact that I don't own a home yet when her brother is on his 3rd, and that I am apparently to old at 34, I don't eat the same type of food, different cultures, etc...

As far as religion is concerned. Neither her or I are particularly religious. She is a bit more spiritual, but I am more of that attitude that I don't know and don't presume too. I don't mind religion as long as someone isn't pushing it on me. And I would make sure they know both aspects of their culture. Religion and otherwise.

I would be fine making the amount I do for the rest of my life, and have a comfortable, low stress, middle class lifestyle. But I am not sure she would be happy with this. I think she expects to be at the level her parents are or more and I just don't see that in the cards for me without a lot of stress involved and money being spent.

[slatyb]

If you want to wreck your life, spend your way into unsupportable debt. If you do marry, do not put all the money into a single joint account. Have a joint account for joint expenses like housing, groceries, utilities, entertainment. Have individual visual accounts for personal expenses. Then allocate the household income among the three accounts. My wife doesn’t work but completely manages the household. Part of my salary goes to her personal account and I pay no attention to how she spends it. She doesn’t worry about my personal expenditures. We never fight about money.

[scott04sa22]

Go for it just don't ask any money though. You want the ass instead 😁

[Cherokeehp]

I say go for it. No matter how irresponsible or clueless she may be about working, it sounds like her parents will always be there as a safety net to catch her if she fucks. Even though her parents are definitely racist, they’ve accepted you.