If you go for the bad boy types you shouldn't expect sympathy when your abused. Agree?

[purplepoppy]

Several GAG users have rightfully pointed out that most violence against women is by their own partner and not some random weirdo on the streets.
One thing we hear time and time again is. "Nice guys finish last" and how girl's prefer bad boys. Now here's the problem with badboys, they're bad. Those characteristics you thought sexy aren't that attractive when they're aimed at you. I'm not saying girls deserve to be hit or killed but if you get a vicious dog you should expect to get bitten.

[Lliam]

Nice guys versus bad boys. I don't know if women/girls use the term bad boys to describe actual bad guys exclusively. It may be a way to describe guys who have masculine qualities such as being adventurous, daring, energetic, confident, and capable of self defense, as opposed to milquetoast guys.

No woman wants to get beat up or abused. But they get vicarious thrills from partners who have qualities like I described. Those guys can be fun and exciting. Women can also feel safe and secure under the protection of such guys. After all, what is a knight in shining armor? Plus, most women like to be dominated in bed by a large, powerful male as long as they feel safe with him.

[ChrisMaster69]

That’s always been a thing, I know from growing up in Newcastle for some reason the ‘bad kids’ in the year blagged some of the fit girls.

everyone knew what they where like, as their brothers and fathers were older versions.

it was a slow motion train crash over a year or so, nice girl dates bad lad, then gets pregnant, buggers her education from A* to C’s.

the cash goes on the blinged out fiesta with monsta exhaust innit.

roll a year, lack of cash, lack of drugs, she starts avoiding her parents after the usual weekend of drunken abuse.

The Jeremy Kyle lot.

a friend had one of those types dating his daughter, utter nightmare trying to get her to smell the coffee, luckily she did, her replacement was not so lucky.

You see it on here with those who seem to believe it’s okay to be abusive to a girl, even hit them.

[doopayo]

This sounds an awful lot like victim blaming, most girls that are in relationship with “bad boys” or abusive guys are in those relationships because they don’t know any better, they may have been abused by their own parents or seen abuse and because of that abuse is all they know and they think it’s what love is and looks like.


It isn’t the victims fault at all, if a girl or boy is abused it isn’t their fault at all. They’re a victim and it isn’t “their fault for being abused” at all.


It’s sad that people think this way.

[pizzapizzapizza]

You are generalizing victimhood out of context. How about people start taking responsibility for their own actions?

[3ossman]

Wrong. If you are capable of rejecting a loser (as all women are), you are capable of rejecting an abuser.

You choose not to. Because you find him sexy. And then you blame all men when he beats you up.

[doopayo]

Are you guys serious?

@3ossman you are capable of rejecting a loser, wow. So you’re telling me if a girls getting abused it’s her fault cause she can’t reject the abuser. She’s a victim, a lot of girls in that situation feel as if they can’t leave that relationship because that’s what they think love is, not necessarily cause they find them “sexy”

@pizzapizzapizza I’m not generalizing victim hood, if you’re being abused and or are in a toxic relationship you're A VICTIM that’s a fact and it’s not out of context. And yes, the abuser needs to take responsibility for their actions since THEY shouldn’t abuse. The victim doesn’t have to take responsibility for being what, abused? That’s absolutely bs

[3ossman]

Of course I am fucking serious.

All my life I have had society scream at me that as a man, I am bad, I am creepy, I am evil, I am violent, I am an oppressor, I am the patriarchy, I am privileged, I am entitled, etc.

So naturally, that makes a person pretty eager to be a good person. So you treat women well, as human beings. You walk them home safely, you protect them from bad guys, you respect them don't try to pressure them into anything, consider their needs first, etc.

And what do you get in return?

-You get ignored
-You get taken for granted
-You get to be their fucking suicide hotline, their "I've just been [predictably] dumped by the latest jerk" shoulder to cry on
-You get rudely rejected for not being masculine enough
-You still get to share the blame every time one of their shitty male flings treats them badly. Then it's "why are there no good men", "men are pigs", etc.

[doopayo]

When people say that I hope they meant to refer to only the bad men and not all men in general, I’m sorry you had to
Go threw that if that’s the case

[3ossman]

Thank you, that is very kind. Not all women do this, of course. Sorry to portray it like that.

[pizzapizzapizza]

See, again you're confused. Stop equating all victims of abuse with those who VOLUNTARILY choose to stay in violent relationships. People have free will, and can choose to leave a relationship the moment they feel like it. How about those people start taking some responsibility themselves, instead of just playing the victim?

[doopayo]

voluntarily? Have you ever heard of something called a physiological mind prison because that’s what most victims of abuse are stuck inside of. They aren’t in a physical prison so yes they technically have free will but their mind is in a prison. And because of that they most of the time aren’t able to leave especially if their abusers are violent and them leaving the relationship has a possibility of escalating to an extent that they themselves might be harmed

[pizzapizzapizza]

That's not a psychiatric term, so no. You're now implying victims of domestic violence are simply suffering from Stockholm syndrome, and they have no free will whataoever. Speak for yourself, automnoton.

[doopayo]

I’m not sure what you’re referring to and yes it’s like Stockholm syndrome but the difference is they’ve probably grown up with abusive parents or such and because of that they think that that’s what love is

[pizzapizzapizza]

... or perhaps they're just too lazy to walk away for greener pastures.

[doopayo]

@pizzapizzapizza wow, just wow

[pizzapizzapizza]

I know right? Imagine people taking responsibility for themselves...

[doopayo]

@pizzapizzapizza imagine, if more people made the actual abusers take responsibility for abusing people rather than blaming their victims

[pizzapizzapizza]

Perhaps if they didn't have willing participants, they'd find something else to do.

[JosyJosy]

I agree. Especially when I warned them beforehand not to and and they still go "no", but want to cry on my shoulder tthe next day

[harvest]

In my opinion it's a similar discussion to the one about rape and provocative clothing or the one about mugging and walking in dangerous districts at late hour.
Is she to blame for rape because wore provocative clothing? Is she to blame for being mugged because she walked through dangerous part of the city late at night? To both question - yes and no. She did had an impact on the result. Most likely if she hadn't wore that clothing she wouldn't be raped. Most likely if she didn't go through that part of the city, she wouldn't get mugged. But the one that actually did those deeds is that criminal, not her.

[goaded]

The clothing aspect is bullshit. But you're right about areas. I know I avoid certain areas.

www.bbc.co.uk/.../blogs-news-from-elsewhere-42633751

[harvest]

@goaded Ok, maybe those clothes is BS, I was just trying to point out an example of shared responsibility and this is what came to my mind. Maybe this second example is better as you said.

[TonyV]

Well said.
No one should ever be abused but what do they expect when you puck the bad boys?

If you dont want to be abused or cheated or talk badly too, then stop glamorizing bad boy behavior, it's not mystery or spontaneous it's just bad.
If you want to avoid it maybe give the nice slighty awkward guys a shot, but you won't, you're to busy confusing the bad boys arrogance and cockiness as conbidence, sorry the nice guy won't boss you around like you like cause you have some sort inferiority complex or simple have a bad idea of what a dominant man is.

[JackSmy]

@purplepoppy Probably the WISEST, BEST, and most INTUITIVE post, that you have ever made!!
I hope that you are not speaking from personal experience, and having been abused by some Bad-Boy D-bag!! No person deserves to be beaten and abused, ever!!

What makes the really Nice Guys, the ones that really like you, really want to be with you, so unattractive? Are they just 'boring' without all the 'Drama' and 'abuse'?

[purplepoppy]

Not from experience, from observation.

[JackSmy]

@purplepoppy Nobody deserves to be abused, and glad to hear you aren't speaking from having endured that! Nobody should, EVER!

[pizzapizzapizza]

Some people are dumb enough to own a pitbull, and have children around it. Then they act surprised when a kid's face gets chewed off. It's called natural selection. Same with women who date violent trash, and end up getting beaten to a pulp. Nature doesn't want their genes; humanity is far better off without them.

[Lyndsielee666]

You’ve obviously never owned a pitbull lmfao

[pizzapizzapizza]

Found the irresponsible mother that would happily endanger a child because a ladbible video convinced her they're just 'fur babies'.

[Lyndsielee666]

Irresponsible😂 hit the nail on the head there bud 😉

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Golden retrievers are statistically more violent than pitbulls, but parents leave their kids alone with retrievers all the time coz "oh they're fluffy and cute, what can go wrong?" Pitbulls are the most misunderstood breed of all domesticated dogs

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Anyway I get you aas just illustrating a broader point about bad boys, so nvm my pedantry lol

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

*was

[Lyndsielee666]

If you raise a pitbull correct they’re not violent in the slightest. Most I’ve ever seen any of my pits do is violently lick me. Better put them down huh?

[zagor]

@SomeGuyCalledTom That's BS Tom. How many people have been mangled by Golden Retriever's? Of course one reason pit bulls have such a bad rep is because it is mostly human assholes who go out and procure such dogs.

[MrCreep]

But men act how does a gal know if she's never met the person propperly or if she's too drunk and nobody stops a man dragging drunken women off men are pathetic they know abuse and rape don't get punished by our pedos in charge it's why is so bad in UK now

[user2345354]

It's difficult to make an inference without first understanding your definition of 'bad boy.' Pit Bulls, Rottweilers, and German Shepherds are more likely to bite their owners. These dogs were bred for fighting and herding cows and sheep respectively. Are we to assume then that 'bad boys' are those interested in blood sports and farm animals?

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

I'm never gonna condone or excuse abuse regardless of who likes what.

[Hermes-Paris]

Those women are like a moth to a flame. They just cannot resist getting into another abusive situation. When I see that I just shake my head and find someone who is not trying to drive the bus of my life off a cliff.

[Iron_Man]

You speak with wisdom on the subject because you’ve dated too many bad boys from England

[chukio]

Bad boys never stick to one girl if that is what you are asking. Nobody deserves to be hit that is just a toxic trait. "Bad boys" typically dont last long.

[Pete671]

I agree, such girls should be offered all help that they need to get out of a bad situation though, Stockholm Syndrome has been mentioned as a thing that keeps girls with so-called bad boys,,,

[blondfrog]

Yeah and vice versa for guys attracted to the bad girl. It's like if you play with fire your gonna get burned.

[GAGSucksBalls1]

Nope. why are bad boys implied to be abusive though?

[Diversity_Hire]

Why would you sting me? Now we're both going to drown!

Why? Because I am a scorpion.

[Choices2b1]

I don't think abuse is ever something to be accepted

[Lyndsielee666]

Ah yes, victim blaming. What a wonderful thing.

[3ossman]

Feminists have for decades been blaming men in general for the behavior of the shitty men women actively choose to date over other men.

So don't give us that shit. Every bully I have ever met has had women left and right vying for his attention.

Maybe grow up and take responsibility for your shitty choices.

[Lyndsielee666]

@3ossman big mad for what 🥲

[Tonytoutouni123]

Hahaha of course @Lyndsielee666 is pissed by this question 😂 mimimi

[Lyndsielee666]

@Tonytoutouni123 no ones mad buddy 😂

[pokenstroke]

I see it time and again

[Tonytoutouni123]

100%

[jimmy2]

Very true

[Anonymous]

Agreed