No I think ignoring it is the wrong way to go.
First, you shouldn't have to put up with it period. Ignoring it means putting up with it until THEY get bored and decide to stop harassing you. That's bullshit.
They are stepping out of bounds. They are crossing YOUR personal boundaries. You need to knock them back over to the proper side of that boundary-line.
The way to go on this is exactly the opposite of ignoring it. Confront it head on. Be assertive. You have a right to go to work and not deal with that. You need to make that super clear to these guys.
You should: Confront the next person who sexually harasses you. Tell them that you consider it sexual harassment; and that you don't like what he/they are saying or doing; and that that what you are saying to them is "this is going to stop".
Make sure that the dude is perfectly clear about: what he did wrong; what other similar behavior YOU to be sexual harassment; and let him know that this is the only warning before launching an official complaint. Be willing to follow through on that.
You need to be clear. You need to be confrontational. You need to be assertive.
The very last thing you want to try is ignoring them.
If somebody is mistreating you. Put a stop to it. 🙂
I liken sexual harassment to bullying. Instead of being punched and verbally assaulted you now being grabbed and verbally 'perved'.
Ignoring a bully doesn't really do much. The bully will carry on and even get more angry because of your lack of response. Work place bullying is a little more cunning because people don't punch and push. It's more words and having more tact. Girls are usually much better at that in anycase.
I would start by giving him openly shitty answers back to let him know you not interested. "Wow, you look just lovely today" > "Thanks, I did it for the good looking guy at the coffee shop down the road". If this doesn't go in and he gets more crud you up it "I can really picture you naked on my bed" > "This is going to better stop. You harnessing me and I don't like it and I don't want it".
If you asking him to stop and comments don't work, you really have no other option but to go big. "This is your final warning, i have video proof of you harnessing me! This is your final warning otherwise I will be laying a criminal charge at the police!".
If he carries on police and HR. It will be more embarrassing for him. I heard of a guy at work that grabbed some chicks ass, he was fired. Been working there 20 years +.
We actually had our sexual harassment training at my company today. No it shouldn’t be ignored. If you were targeted with sexual misconduct or saw someone else being targeted, it needs to be reported. This is never okay no matter who the victim is
Wow can’t believe someone downvoted this. Someone obviously thinks this behavior is okay
I did because its a very simplistic solution "it must be reported"
@Zmuetbflsi well, thank you for your honesty but it weather or not it should be reported or ignored (in my opinion) is also a simplistic question, so I answered accordingly. If you’re absolutely sure you’re being sexually harassed at work, yes report it.
@Zmuetbflsi Yes it's an oversimplification, but the first step is reporting it. Just like when you are trying to change a toxic behavior, you need to acknowledge it.
Ignoring an issue doesn't make it go away. If you're pregnant but you're pretending that you're not, you're still pregnant.
Opinion
26Opinion
No staying silent to violence or crimes or sexual harassment gives power to the criminal.
We can see this across the nation with protests and movements across the world that it is making change through making your voices heard. Its not easy but you are not alone. It is ironic on this form plus America as a whole say we have the right to protect but at the same time there is a faction of people that want to get rid of it when it does not align to their view. The funny part is the counter protests. I won't name any protests but I believe anyone that is informed on the matter will know that there is contention over the protests that are happening in America.
So I get that staying silent is a very attractive choice because you get to keep your job and sustain you livelihood, but what you give up is your voice or cry for help or change. And you may just allow them to walk all over you or to a point where you have to make a tough choice. We made worker protection right for a reason and that is because things like this happens. And I know you can still be on the ropes and you'll probably lose you job and don't want to continue to work for said company if it has gone that far however, its important to be able to be and feel safe at work. And you can't change anything by being silent. Its a huge risk and its scary. I am not saying it is easy especially if you don't have the finance to live off of while fighting a case and getting a new job. It is mentally draining and harmful for anyone to go through. Medical expenses are expensive too.
So Yeah its... not easy. If you have the option to find a better work place then I suggest that. However, if you are against the ropes... build your case then file suit. Get protection through legal means. I am not a lawyer or anything so... that is something you will have to find out on your own.
I wish you the best of luck and a happier future.
Easier said than done. Everyone loves my harassers and one is just got promoted. You think the bosses will tolerate someone trying to get rid of someome they want that much? G
@Zmuetbflsi but they will discipline him.
@Zmuetbflsi because a friend of mine had similar experience... the guys stopped harassing her sexual at least.
@Zmuetbflsi yeah, I agree it's easier said than done... That's why I said it's tough. And I'm sorry to hear that you are also affected by this. While legal means aren't perfect is a step. And like I said you have to build your case of you want to go that route. It not then save... And hopefully find a new job that's better. Never said this was easy. And I wish you the best too
I suspect ignoring it won't work. Like bullying, if you roll over, it's usually an invitation for the person to do it more. What's they're really expecting you to do is show your weakness and cave. The more you cave, the more it empowers them. They're almost like some kind of vampire, they're parasitic and feed of your weakness. That's why I suspect it's necessary to deal with it head on. Usually forthright responses that are as matter as fact as possible that it's not welcome are probably the best bet.
For me ignoring haa been working.
Not perfectly. But i care less overtime each timethey do it and as i ignore it more and more
You report their asses. That's it.
I see three ways things go. 1. Honest flirting, GOOD flirting. Meaning, he flirts, and yet, you're not disturbed by him. he's not a creep. If you dont want to be flirted with, he's happy to stop.
2. He doesn't know how to flirt. He can't read body language or cues. He doesn't know when to stop.
In the case of number 2, it's unfortunate that he is not socially aware. But the guy is harmless.
This can go q couple ways too. A. You ask him to stop and he stops. Good. B. You ask him to stop and he continues. Report him.
C. You dont ask him to stop, and immediately report him because his lack of social awareness creeps you out and you're afraid of him.
C is kind of a great area. C is an area many men fear.
Men fear this, because they know they are not great at flirting. They see other men who flirt, and are allowed to do so. However they dont have the same social skills as those men who "get away with it."
Other men are jealous. We all wish we could be that guy who is allowed to flirt because he "does it right."
Do you report him cuz he creeped you out? I guess you have no choice but to report him. But like, it's nice to know that you might be reacting negatively to him just cuz a bit off.
How to stop the "bit off" guys from being creepy and trying to flirt? I dont know. Ban all flirting. Stop letting some guys get away with it because their social skills are on par or their looks are good enough.
Secual harassment is wrong i dont care if it seems a guy gets away with it. I want all sexual harassers to Fuk off and leave me alone. If im ignoring it and someones harassing me thats not getting away with it. I secretly dont like it. But you said getting away with so i guess you like abusing women.
But maybe you dont want to have to report anyone. You want culture to evolve to such a point, that you're never bothered one bit at work by any man ever.
I dont know how that's going to work. The only reasonable idea I see, is to literally bad ALL flirting, from ALL employees.
And this is simply impossible right? Certain men, will always be allowed to flirt by women. Women will always flirt with men they like at work.
These flirty relationships happen ALL the time going both directions.
The problem is not with them. The problem is with those "problem" men, who dont know when to stop, who are pushy, or are socially "off" in such a way that it creeps you out.
How can one possibly fix that problem as long as some men are allowed to flirt without being reported and some aren't?
Men will always try to flirt. And some, will creep you out and annoy you and make you feel like you're not in a safe environment.
Some men justifably. so, as they push you and do not respect your boundaries. Some, are just not as good as others and are automatically liable annoying or creepy.
How about dont be sexual or flirt eth any woman not your wife (if you dont have one then that means NO WOMEN should be getting sexual atrention from you. Thats just too upright for most people. I have higher standard i seek to abide to.
Again your jealousy envy is spewing. Fuck off because clearly you just want to harass women like your heros. So fuck right off asswhipe
What a disgusting lowlife. F UCK OFF.
@Zmuetbflsi Sexual harassment has to be defined.
Many men and women are flirting back and forth in the workplace.
Sexual harassment, is not flirting. Sexual harassment as I said, is when a guy doesn't stop when you ask him.
A problem arises, because you dont want to have to say anything to him. You want to be able to simply Express your dislike of the situation with your physical body and he should get a clue.
But like I said, many men domt have a clue. I'm glad you made this point.
Some men, literally are so socially clueless with women, that they dont see your body language. They dont understand that you're not receptive. You can't imagine how that's possible. I know lol. But it is.
Your only choice is to report him. You can't say anything to him, so you must report him. Even if he's just clueless trying to flirt as many men and women do back and forth.
What I'm saying is, that what you may see as harassment, is a guy who is clueless.
As long as people are flirting, those clueless men will flirt.
The legitimate harassers will continue to harass women. Continue to use your fear of speaking up against you.
And my opinion is, that the only way to stop ANY form of harassment, is a work place environment which bans ALL forms of flirting between employees.
And we all know that will never happen. So the harasses will continue pushing you and pushing you and the weirdos will keep irritating you with their less than socially aware attempts.
What are you talking about? Lol. Are you even reading what I'm saying?
Do men and women flirt at work? All the time. It's never going to stop.
You're saying no man should ever flirt at all. That's what I'm saying too silly.
But that means women have to stop flirting too. Because as we know, women flirt as well, and a lot lol.
All flirting should stop, period. If we want workplaces completely free of. sexual harassment. It's the only. way to make. itnwork.
I dont know. how you think I'm evil and bad right now lol.
Never ignore sexual harassment at the work place, What you need to do is contact your manager if they fail to take action then file a complaint at the local magistrates on grounds of sexual harassment by communications, ask around and find out who handles these types of cases this is a form of harassment by communication but
the grounds are worse cause it's sexually related so you need to get justice and
the magistrate will send a summons out to those who are doing the harassment
they will be summoned to appear at court now they will have a chance to plead guilty
if they do they will have to pay the fine or also could see jail time
1) What field are you in
2) What are they doing
I work in construction. Many sheltered & naive women would say the guys are sexually harassing with some of their comments. They're not. They're being buttheads. Guys. It's in fun. They don't cross the line. It's teasing.
This is what pampered ninnies don't realize. If you get into a male dominant field don't expect the guys to act like a bunch of fucking pussies (women).
Ask them to stop, report it to HR... of course if your company doesn't have HR and its your boss doing it. That will not work, you'll have to ignore it or find another job.
You can report them for a hostile workplace... if you quit as a result of it, you might even get unemployment.
You must never ignore sexual harassment. If you do that, it will escalate until they do something really serious. Report them to your superiors.
My boss (female) was sexually harassing me and I had to report her to HR before she would stop. She lost her job and ended up getting divorced because he found out why she lost her job. If you are being harassed as bad as you indicate then you should report it.
Kind of depends on whether it is adversely affecting your work and your life. Obviously you don't want to overreact and go to HR over something petty and non-repeating. But if you find yourself adjusting your daily routine to avoid those people maybe you need to take a more confrontational approach.
Maybe try laughing in their face when they harrass you. Humilliate them. But please dont do this to guys who are just socially awkward and intended no harm. Those men with good intentions could be good men with a little with a little knowledge and encouragement. Men, the same goes for shy, socially awkward, or insecure women. K8ndness goes a long way to make this a better world.
Sorry for the diatribe. For the men who are harrassing you, fuck those guys. (In the ass with a giant strapon)
Choose your battles. Serious harassment cannot be ignored and should be dealt with. That's why we have laws and tribunals.
But so called micro aggressions probably should be ignored (or dealt with less formally) because they dilute all such claims.
no the key is to find out the sex harassment laws in your jurisdiction and your company's policy and use them to fight harassment. If needed contact a lawyer and if it's a crime where you live then report it to the police.
Sexual harassment in the workplace is illegal in the USA. File a report on them. Do not tolerate it, or ignore it. Confront them and tell them if it doesn't stop you will file a sexual harassment report
I dont care enuf about myself to do that
@Zmuetbflsi that is so wrong. You need to learn to love yourself for who you are and what you stand for. You are an important puzzle piece in the game of life. You shouldn't let people treat you like that. It's wrong and disrespectful
Maybe. Ignoring is difficult though. But so is sexual harassment. Don't really know how to handle it. I don't think it will ever stop.
On a low enough level, maybe. But once it gets past a certain point, I'd be worried that they take ignoring as tolerating.
Yeah if he grabbed my vadge or something but for minor stuff... As much as it hurts and angers me, i think ignoring can actually help & even make it go away
It depends on what you call "sexual harassment". The amount of idiocy in which that alarming term turned into is worrisome enough that "quantifying" is now mandatory.
The key to solving workplace harassment is to hold women to the same standard as men.
You are not going to. a club, you are going to work. So you can’t wear sexually provocative clothes, no makeup, no heels...
and You don’t get to be flirty and then complain when someone takes that as interest.
Yeah most women don’t.
no that’s just taking it from one extreme to the other
no one‘s asking women to completely cover themselves in a tarp
All I am saying is that women should be held to the same standard as men.
It’s pretty simple... look at the image I posted. Girls should be expected to wear work appropriate clothing.
@Serenityy Men don't want to dress in uncomfortable slacks and button up shirts and ties all day either but we have to dress appropriately at work. Women essentially want to always dress like they are trying to pick up, they are always in a state of trying to get male attention. Then they piss and moan when they get that attention and it isn't from a guy who they like.
no, if you ignore them they'll think they can harass you whenever they want.
I've a question. Why are you still at this workplace if it is so bad?
Ignoring it won't make them stop. If it's not you it'll be someone else. If you think there's anue you should go to HR
No. You have to call them out and show them that it’s not okay. Please don’t ever stay quiet.
Why? They are abusers. You think they dont know right from wrong?
Are you poor or middle upper classes?
@Zmuetbflsi: I would never suggest that anyone just ignore sexual harassment, which is not mere teasing or making fun of someone.
Maybe i feel like deep down that guys wouldn't respect my words anyway. Theyd just laugh and keep doing it anyway. Some guys do that to me actually. They do it even more cuz they know you hate it
No the key is stand up for yourself, say no, and report it.
Well, no. Just don't you have a police dude.
Why would you play into that. If you're asking "well maybe they think I am liking it unless I ignore them". Just say no, same as to bullying.
Yes, BUT, if that doesn't work, tell em to fuck off or you will get them fired.
Most sexual harassment, doesn't get reported... why?
It was likely never harassment in the first place, and she knows it
Reported.
For telling the truth?
You can ignore them, make a big deal out of it and sue people, or find a new job.
All violence is justified when someone won't take NO for an answer. This applies for both genders.
No. The key is to consent. If you consent every time, you never get harrassed
No. Go to HR and bring proof, like recordings.
Report it to the higher authorities or the HR
Then what? Thats illogical in many cases.
No ignoring will only make it worse
Nope. You should report it
Why don't you go to the boss and tell him?
Then what? Thats the wasy answer. It doesn't translate to my real life situation.
The just promoted onenof my harassers...
Which one
Nice maybe its bettwrthere
Hit their nose with palm of your hand
You mean, ignore the unattractive guys who do it.
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