Are women more likely than men to have higher levels of respect for men they are attracted to vs. more disrespect for men they aren’t interested in?

[Anonymous]

I find that women have a hard time separating emotion vs. respect when judging people particularly guys they find attractive vs. ones they don’t. They will take lots shit from guys they really like (including physical abuse in relationships) and completely ignore and/or disdain men they have no feelings for despite those guys doing nothing wrong.

Yes men can get stupid around very attractive women but we won’t tolerate it forever. We are also more thoughtful about how we treat women we are not interested in. We are less likely to take advantage of these women (if they like us) than vice versa.

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

This is a sexist question I know. But I can remember having plenty of interactions with unattractive women (who liked me) when I was younger. I really tried to be respectful to them despite not being interested. I tried to put myself in their position and be mindful of their feelings.

Updates

+1 y

This question is actually very complex and requires some deeper insight. A couple of the older guy responders know what I am talking about.

Also I am not just talking about physical looks for who women get strongly influenced by emotion. I am also talking about guys who might have attractive personalities (funny guys) but can be cómplete D bags in other aspect. Women seem to get intertwine emotion and respect for those guys. They make excuses for their shortcomings.

[Mona458]

Biblically even, Respect is a form of Love/Sign of attraction sort of a 'love language' for men, but not usually for women. Men would think who we respect is who we are attracted to. PERSONALLY I do not believe this is the case.

We respect who is respectable and are attracted to who is attractive. If you are both then congratulations you'll get both.

If you are respectable (kind sensible not disrespectful) but unnattractive, we will 'friendzone you' but respectfully and would reccomend you to a friend if you seem like their type. This has exceptions some girls go for nice 'ugly' guys for personal reasons.

If you are attractive but NOT respectable, we will talk about how hot you are but won't take you seriously and might not find you attractive because of your personality (it depends how rude you are and what that girl is attracted to generally in a personality).
This has exceptions some girls go for hot rude guys for personal reasons.

If you are rude and ugly we will wonder why on earth you would pick both, and if you are hot and respectable we will hunt you down for a mate.

<3

[Asker]

You put some thought into that. The first paragraph was especially intriguing. But there is one part I got to call you out on:

“ If you are respectable (kind sensible not disrespectful) but unnattractive, we will 'friendzone you' but respectfully and would reccomend you to a friend if you seem like their type. ”

Women nowadays are demanding more and more from men. This especially true thanks to the “metoo” movement. But it’s a two way street. You want men to behave better and out the effort of understanding your POV? Fine. But you need to understand that the friéndzone is very disrespectful. Reason being is your not respecting the guys masculinity. That of course doesn’t mean you should date him. Of course you shouldn’t. But you are treating him like he’s another woman when he gets friendzoned. In the long run he will both hate you and also hate himself thinking their is something too nice and feminine about himself to make women feel he will accept that bullshit.

[shaysh87]

@asker

Quit your complaining. Women don’t owe you anything. You complain about women not giving you any attention but yet you are only willing to date younger women. Why do you think you get ignored? Younger women have plenty of options

[Asker]

@shaysh87 I never said for a god damn moment “women owe me anything”. Attraction isn’t a decision. But respect is. You can not feel attracted to them but still respect them.

You are actually sadly proving the exact point I am trying to make. Most men don’t feel entitled to sex, relationships, etc. Yes there are a shitty minority who can’t take no for answer but I was never one of them.

But I have had to turn down a few random women in the last few years. I did it politely yet directly. I sat down with my last ex and gave her face to face closure on why I didn’t want to date anymore. She went ballistic, screamed, yelled and threw things. It culminated with her threatening to kill herself.

But I walked away knowing I did the right thing. I might not like her anymore but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t give her face to face respect. This is much better than any other woman treated me when I got dumped. I once got completely ghosted after a minor argument after I dated a girl for 9 fucking months.

[shaysh87]

@asker

Like I said, women don't owe you a relationship. women dont owe you any attention if you're unattractive. women don't owe you ANYTHING. So quit your fucking whining about how you're such a victim and how all women are bitches who get everything and should give you what you want.

you constantly complain about women. well guess what? women would also have plenty to complain about you too. Having to deal with a ton of players, perverts who only wants sex, dick pics, one-night stands, guys who only date hot girls, guys only want women 10 years younger than them, guys who only wouldn't date a woman who made more money than him, guys who complain about a woman being a few pounds overweight YET, guys like you complain when a woman doesn't want to date a guy shorter than her.

Why don't you take a look at yourself before you complain about others?

[Mona458]

When a woman looks at a man what she feels is a natural reaction that can't be changed. If she sees you as a friend that is not in her control. The same goes for all people. It is nothing to do with masculinity. For example, a good wife with a wonderful husband will friendzone you because you are a friend to her, biologically she is only attracted as 'more than a friend' to her husband. This is not because you are not masculine its because you are not attractive.

and you are more than welcome to end a friendship if it insults you, of course.

[SteinerX]

No, not at all.

First of all, the feeling of respect has nothing to do with romantic love, or for that matter, any kind of love. Love and Respect are two separate things, which can coexist with each other, and must coexist with each other, in order to make any relationship useful.

That said, being respectful is not something driven by gender. It is driven by personality instead. Many men and women will respect a person (they of course have to know this person in order to respect him/her) if that person has done something important to gain the positive side of their attention. And, that is all.

Since your question is specifically about women, I will be talking about women exclusively, but this same thing is true for men too. See, a woman having a certain level of tolerance in a relationship is actually important (same goes for the man). However, there is always a threshold to that tolerance level. If the threshold is crossed, the person usually explodes, and starts losing their feelings towards the other person. Respect is always lost before Love, so be careful. But since the person a particular woman is in relationship with is someone she knows, obviously her threshold for that person will be higher than other guys or girls. Hence, she will have more tolerance towards problems that occur in their mutual relationship. Talking about outsider "guys" specifically, there is no such thing as she would disrespect or hate on them more or less than any outsider "girl". Think about it like this - You have got a friend come to you and call you "dumbass". You will know it's a joke and might respond with a joke remark. You won't feel offender or angry. But if a random stranger calls you "dumbass", you might get into a verbal argument, or maybe even a fight. Your threshold for your friend was higher than for the stranger. It's the same thing with women (and men).

[hahahmm]

Yes & no... it's tricky because you have to understand that women can easily fake being respectful. She could show respect to a guy she's sexually attracted to but because he hasn't done anything to earn respect it's very shallow and fickle. Also she could very easily show him respect in 1 area of life but not 3-5 others like she would to a guy who actually has the character traits that earn real respect.

The mistake some guys make is thinking that if they give a woman everything she wants she will give him respect. Ha ha ha.

The other thing to realize is that some women simply do not value the characteristics that are worthy of respect. We know they don't value them because they run away from/avoid men with those characteristics.

[hahahmm]

Although the other take on my last paragraph is that when a woman doesn't have the option of getting higher quality men she's stuck with lower quality men. She's not really making the choice. I've seen it happen both ways... where the have no choices & where they seem to reject good choices. So...

[shaysh87]

"Yes men can get stupid around very attractive women but we won’t tolerate it forever. We are also more thoughtful about how we treat women we are not interested in. We are less likely to take advantage of these women (if they like us) than vice versa."

this is not true at all. Men treat unattractive women wayy worse than attractive women. Men value looks in women more than women value looks in men. Men are also more visually stimulated than women. Men seek beauty, women seek money.

[Asker]

Men have initial inclinations visually but it wears out fast trust me. But women will more long term take abuse from men they have strong feelings for. I am also not just talking about physical attraction either. Women will give all sorts of leeway to funny guys and make up excuses for their shortcomings (and some of them are real D bags in other parts of life).

Also women will also more long term disrespect men they have no feelings for. A perfect example is the friéndzone. Just because you are not attracted to a guy of doesn’t it’s okay to torture him with that crap.

[shaysh87]

@Asker

Women value personality over looks. Men value looks over personality.

Do you know how far men will go just to stay with a beautiful woman? men will endure all sorts of abuse or pay absolutely anything to take a beautiful woman out for dinner. A man can overlook an ugly personality in a beautiful woman but cannot do so with the average looking girl.

[shaysh87]

why do you think men hate on older women so much on here? cuz they only respect a woman if she is young and beautiful.

[Asker]

I am not strictly speaking about physical looks. I am also talking about attraction to personality.

For example I notice women will much more likely give respect and leeway to funny guys. Even if there is no romantic attraction they will more likely overlook the guys faults, shortcomings, etc. They will make up excuses for them because their judgement is being powerfully influenced by the positive emotion the guy provides.

Don’t get me wrong I like funny guys/girls too. But that doesn’t mean I am overlooking their actions and how they treat people. The rational part of my brain won’t give them leeway just because I laugh at their jokes.

[Asker]

But back to friéndzone. Here is an example where the guy produces very little attractive energy for the female (he lacks good looks and/or personality). In absence of that positive emotion respect greatly declines as well. If she respected him she wouldn’t try to take advantage vía friendzone bs.

[shaysh87]

I’d rather date someone who put more emphasis on personality attraction than looks.

[Asker]

@shaysh87 this is a complex issue and is not just about dating. The only people who know what I am talking about are some older guys on here. This is something I would need to write a long take on. It has to do with women having a harder time separating emotions with judgment of people. And judgment of course can determine respect.

Another thing men are better at is separating likeability vs. respect. There are people that I don’t like at all but can still respect.

Also I think that chapawapa bitch (who trolled) actually deep down gets what I am saying and she’s self hating because of it.

[shaysh87]

I think women make more loyal and dedicated lovers. Men tend to cheat more and stare at other women more.

[Asker]

@shaysh87 I have had the opposite experience in my life.

Just remember the average woman has a lot more power and options compared to the average man in the dating sphere (when all else is equal). Men have to approach and it’s up to the woman to accept or reject. She is usually testing the guy and doesn’t even realize it. Women also initiate most break ups and divorces.

It’s not fair but I also believe it will never change. But I truly believe most women have no idea about how much power they have in this dynamic. Again this is when you compare apples to apples. The balance favors women when it comes to relationships.

[shaysh87]

I think you’re mistaken. Only good looking young women in their 20-30s get approached. If you’re the typical woman in her 40s, you’re not gonna get approached. If you’re a less attractive girl , you’re not gonna get approached

If you’re a average looking girl , you’re not gonna get approached often either. It may happen on a rare occasion but it won’t be frequent.
Unattractive women never get approached and if she does get approached , it’s usually by some really unattractive guy

Most guys don’t even approach.

Men approach when a girl is attractive. Not all girls are attractive.

[Asker]

@shaysh87 let’s agree to disagree okay? I haven’t lived your life and you definitely haven’t lived mine

[shaysh87]

@asker

I think you just like to play the victim mentality

I’m an average looking woman Ans I can garuantee you that I don’t get approached a lot.

[shaysh87]

It’s hilarious how you make assertions such as all women get approached a lot when YOU’RE NOT A WOMAN

[Asker]

Oh I know not all women get approached a lot. But in general the definitely get approached more than vice versa. The most common example is a semi attractive woman vs a semi attractive man. A semi attractive woman will definitely get approached a much more than her male counterpart.

Now if both the man and the woman are unattractive then neither will get approached. If both the man and the woman are very attractive then they will be both be approached often (but the woman much more). But the greatest gulf is for semi attractive people. I also think most people fall into this category.

[shaysh87]

@Asker

most men dont even approach. how about that?

[Asker]

by the way when I was younger I fit more into the attractive category (women considered me a 8 to 9). Now I have gotten older I am now “semi attractive”. I am still in very good shape and got all my hair. But I don’t have the boyish face I had at 24. Sad but reality. I rarely get approached. It did happen once last year but it was by a crazy lady.

[shaysh87]

yea well just give it another 10 more years and you'll understand why its impossible for you to get hit on

[Asker]

Now you are taking this all personally because I am disagreeing with you. So now the insults are coming. Did I at any point insult your personally? Just because I disagree with somebody doesn’t mean I hate them.

But look how you are intertwining likeability and respect here. Sure you don’t like my opinion. Sure you it’s obvious you don’t like me personally. But you just had to up to another level and start getting pissed off and disrespectful. That sadly again proves my entire point. This is something women really struggle with in general.

So let’s agree to disagree alright? You aren’t going to change my POV with insults any more than I will change yours.

[shaysh87]

what is the insult? i never insulted you. All im saying is, your good looks have waned. and they will likely continue to wane as you age. Its called aging. Are you like a woman? too emotional to handle that you actually can age?

[Asker]

You got some issues lady. And yes you are slighting me by trying to make this personal. But leads me to believe you got some very deep seated issues yourself. So I feel sorry for you.

But anyway best of luck.

[MCheetah]

I believe so. However, I don't think this is limited to just females, too. Guys do that, too. It's called The Halo Effect. Likewise, there's the Horns Effect, where women assume you're a creep or "incel" just because you're not over six feet tall, have biceps and a six pack, a flawless face, etc.

So yeah, it's 100% true. Women don't respect men who aren't attractive unless they're related to them.

[Asker]

It’s actually a deeper question I am asking here. It’s hard to sum it up in one of two paragraphs on gag.

[Asker]

Actually a better headline would be “do women have a harder time then men separating likeability vs respect.”

There are people that I don’t like at all but still respect. They might have really shitty personalities but exemplary skill at something. For example I do not like Michael Jackson at all BUT I can respect him for what he did as an artist. Two things can be true at once.

[MCheetah]

For women, likeability IS respect. Especially when it comes to liking guys like Barack Obama and hating guys like Donald Trump. Women don't have to earn respect in the same way men do. Men are constantly being tested for respect and can lose it at any time. If a woman doesn't get instant respect and capitulation from simps, she assumes it's "sexism" or "misogyny" or some sh*t. A few women can separate likeability from respect, but they're usually women from male-dominated career fields, like the military or police, where that level of earning respect HAS to apply and they can't just cry "misogyny" to get their way.

So to answer your deeper question, yes, I think to most women, likeability and respect is one in the same. Which also explains what I said in my original comment: They don't respect men they find unattractive because they couldn't "like them" (on a romantic or intimate level), unless they're a family member or something. And they end up respecting men who they shouldn't respect, simply because they like them, such as the abusive boyfriend or rude asshole they have a crush on.

[Asker]

“ For women, likeability IS respect. Especially when it comes to liking guys like Barack Obama and hating guys like Donald Trump. ”

I wanted to keep politics out of this one but you hit it exactly on the head on right there. Most women are clueless on how Donald Trumps policy compares against Biden’s (unless they lost their jobs or live in Afghanistan).

Just imagine how much politics would work if we didn’t have idiot voters like this. Again there are men out there who are equally stupid or worse when it comes to confusing likeability vs respect. But generally women are much worse about this.

[Anonymous]

I don't like these kind of wuestions that put the whole genders against each other. A lot of it is based on biases and personal stories.

I just know and hear from a lot of women, that if the guy isn't attracted to you or if you're "the ugly friend" then the men won't give them the time of the day, because they're almost scared that anyone would get the wrong idea just by them acknowledging them.

And it's even worse if you're "the fat friend".

Sounds very much like what you say just the other way around. So sounds like it's universal and not about certain genders.

[Asker]

I admit this question is sexist. But for real a good looking guy can make sexual jokes and he’s “cute and funny”. An unattractive guy can say the EXACT same thing and he’s “creepy”.

Men have these judgments too. But you don’t see us generally sneering amongst each other about how “ugly and gross” an unattractive woman is who tried to flirt with one of us. We also generally don’t look to friéndzone women for our own ends. It’s a respect issue.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe not in your group of people, but it does happen. As I've said, it's based on the bias of what people experience.
But if you live among white sheep it's difficult to imagine sheep being black as well.

[Asker]

Again I made a huge generalization here. But honest I see women intermingling respect with emotion/attraction more than vice versa. Also when I say attraction it doesn’t always mean physical attraction. Women will have more respect for really funny guys (who are can be complete douchebags in other aspects of their lives) vs men who aren’t as impressionable. You also see this in politics by the way how some far left politicians use emotional based (yet very bs and faulty) messaging to brainwash women. Men aren’t as manipulated as easily.

[Opinion Owner]

And I see it the other way around

[Johnagain]

I totally agree. It's not fair!

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's true. I have seen this countless times. One girl I know was raped by a guy but she fell for him later, one I know dating a guy who's already into two relationships publically, one girl gets beaten by his boyfriend but yet she's with him, someday ago I was seeing one couple at a restaurant. The girl wanted one dish but the guy insisted that she has to eat what he picked for him. Married women with careers end up doing all the housework too. Most women love complaining about relationships than being happy with them as they love drama and a dynamic relationship. There's a fear that everything will be good with a good guy and it will be the same for years and they will get bored (as stated by a girl). Very very few choose good guys in a relationship, even if they do it's for the last.

[Dchrls78104]

Disrespecting someone to show that you are not interested in the person is gutter class and shows immaturity and unsuitability for any kind of relationship or other social interaction. It is a predominant trait of a sour, rotten personality. I would say that both genders are equally guilty since I think that there are as many no-good, golddigging females as there are irresponsible "man children" who use women only for their bodies.

[chilldude33]

not just women, but people with high social status/attractiveness will receive special treatment *regardless* of how bad they treat other people (those are "jerks/bitches")

conversely, people with low social status/attractiveness will receive poor treatment *regardless* of how well they treat other people (those are "people pleasers")

[Jdmaamer1]

People will say it's sexist but it's the truth. Women will always give a man what they want if they respect him. But if they don't they'll find ways to manipulate him, use him, lead him and just play games to keep him around. Doesn't matter what a man does if at the end of the day she respects him she will stay regardless of the relationship circumstances. But when she finally loses that respect she will leave immediately regardless of relationship circumstances.

[jennifer_bloom]

I will disrespect a guy for being bad but not for being not attractive - My only requirement for respect is that they do the what they are able to.

[Asker]

Where you like that in your early 20s?

[jennifer_bloom]

I stopped judging people by their appearance after age 20 cause I stopped judging myself by my own appearance at that age.

[Asker]

I guess this really comes down to the friéndzone predicaments. I never kept a girl in the “friéndzone” because I want to take advantage of her for my own ends. But this has been done several times to me when I was younger. Women don’t respect men they do this to. I don’t see guys doing this as much vice versa because we have a deeper understanding of respect.

[shaysh87]

@Asker

Men dont have more respect than women. In fact, men are shallower than women.

[Asker]

@shaysh87 i got a sharp reply to that. But you aren’t open to hearing my POV. So let’s leave it at that

[shaysh87]

@Asker

you don't have a sharp reply for it. Because I know you're just a whiny entitled asshole who has nothing to offer but wants the hottest girls.

[shaysh87]

the same guys on here who talk shit about women in their 30s are the same guys who complain about why they can't get a date.

[Asker]

@shaysh87 and no I am a “ whiny entitled asshole” who can’t get dates. Smdh.

You know @shahsh87 I feel sorry for you. I guess if makes you feel better to just lash out with guys you disagree with than suit yourself. But there is a difference between “being right” vs. trying to find out WHAT is right. But anyway best of luck.

[shaysh87]

@Asker

so what is right about you? there's NOTHING RIGHT ABOUT YOU. You're just a big fucking hypocrite who is on here trying to shame women.

Are women more likely than men to have higher levels of respect for men they are attracted to vs. more disrespect for men they aren’t interested in?

LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION:

Are men more likely to respect a woman they think is gorgeous versus a woman who is average looking? what do you think the answer is?

HYPOCRITE.

[shaysh87]

@ASKER

Are men more likely to have more respect for beautiful woman or an ugly woman?

[Asker]

@shaysh87 we are more likely to be attracted to a beautiful woman but that doesn’t always mean we will respect her. For the last time likeability/attraction and respect are not the same thing. I have met plenty of unattractive women I’ve met that I respected for having a good attitude, working hard, being talented at something. I can separate out a feeling of respect for what they provide.

[shaysh87]

@Asker

Men will do absolutely anything to get a beautiful woman. I used to work as a security guard at a university. Most of the male guards will let hot girls do absolutely anything and not get into trouble. Its only the unattractive girls who would get into trouble. Men are more likely to lose their brains when they see an attractive female than women. In college, all the hot girls could easily get guys to do their homework for them. None of the less attractive girls even knew that was possible.

so quit your lying.

[shaysh87]

@Asker

why do you think men obsess so much about young women in their 20s on here? why do men on here hate women in their 30s so much?

why do 60 yr old men date 45 yr old women? why don't they date 70 yr old women?

90% of men who messaged me on dating apps are older men, not younger men.

now you're saying its a woman's personality and character that matters the most. If this is the case, why do all men date younger women?

[Anonymous]

Yes I agree with that. But everyone does it. How can you falsely show a sincere and affectionate interest to someone you don't like? You can just have a little patience so as not to seem rude. That is all.

[Asker]

Actually I should of worded this differently. It is can women separate likeability vs. respect. There are people I don’t like at all but I can respect. One example would be the late Michael Jackson. His personal life was heinous and disgusting. But I can respect what he accomplished as an artist. Two things can be true at once.

You see this a lot in politics. There may be a politician who has an insufferable personality but actually is very competent with their policy. But women generally have a hard time separating their two issues. Not all of course. But for women likeability is respect.

[Avicenna]

Yeah, that’s not unique to women, although a bit more likely with them

[Asker]

Yeah I did generalize here although I tried to be thoughtful about. Some girls got real bitching about it because the truth hurts on this.

[Hangry06]

Your question talks about something else and your description asks of something else. Be clear

[Asker]

Your right. I could of worded it better.

It’s a sexist question I know. But again about male vs. female psychology. What I am really trying to get to is the women have a harder time separating likeability and respect. They are not always the same thing.

[Jintendo18]

You might be acting like a simp, hence the behavior you perceive as disrespect from them.

[chapawapa]

Wow... Douche bag... You'll full of it and ur head is to big.

[Asker]

Good job being so persuasive and convincing. For real.

[chapawapa]

Wow... I have no point just an opinion... Not really trying to persuade anyone either... Ur sarcasm sucks

[Asker]

And that’s probably how your brain works 24/7. No rational thought. Just emotional outbursts and loathing.

Funny thing is your actually proved my entire point but you are too stupid to realize it.

[chapawapa]

Nope that's not how my brain works and I'm actually smart. And you proved my point by ur replied which I already knew from your point. Nothing new happening here... Except to tell your offended lol

[Asker]

I’m “offended” you are the one who got your parties all in a wad. You offered zero rational insight just “oh what you said hurt my feelings so I am going to yell at you”. But again you just proved my point.

[chapawapa]

Oh lawd nope panties are unwadded sir. Lol... Like I said I wasn't proving a point which would have provided insight. I was giving an opinion. I don't think you can tell the difference... My feelings are not hurt and that's not why I have the opinion I do... I don't care if I proved your point or not... However you replies continue to prove my point. I'm not here to provide education type of post with research articles and a potential journal article on toxic masculinity and misogyny related to your question. Don't be so desperate ok byeeee

[23lkbk]

with that level of smartness you could literally bring the world peace

[shaysh87]

@Asker

your dating life must be miserable if you have to go around the internet mocking women.
So what if women will have a higher level of respect for men they are attracted to? MEN ARE THE SAME WAY! Men have higher levels of respect for women they are attracted to, even if she is a bitch or expects wayy too much.

[driven159]

Respect is earned not given.

[Chthou95]

Of course. They respect the high value man

[disgustingweebtrash]

Yes.