My wife of three years went away on a work trip recently - for approximately one month. She developed a flirtatious texting relationship with one of her coworkers. She’s adamant that he was constantly pursuing her and she was being playful but always shut it down. She did admit that in one of her responses to his texts that she said “In another life I’d want to sleep with you too”. There is no way to verify what happened over text because she deleted the history.
One night their team went out for drinks and she got blackout drunk. There are bits and pieces she remembers but not some major pieces like how he got back to her house or how he got into her bed. She remembers crying when he kissed her and pushing him away, she also remembers him humping her and trying to get her to touch him, and him trying to touch her while she was saying no (or trying to) while in bed.
She’s adamant her clothes never came off and that she remembers changing herself into Pajamas at some point.
She filed a sexual assault complaint the next day which was found to be inconclusive due to their differing stories and lack of witnesses.
Am I crazy or insensitive to question the events of that evening? Should I be trusting her implicitly when she says she believes she would never have accepted his advances?
My worst fear is that there was some engagement on her part to his advances that led to him ending up in her bed.
She disclosed this to me a few weeks ago and we are trying to work through it but I can’t shake this sickening feeling that I have about it.
For additional context we have an 18 month old at home.
One night their team went out for drinks and she got blackout drunk. There are bits and pieces she remembers but not some major pieces like how he got back to her house or how he got into her bed. She remembers crying when he kissed her and pushing him away, she also remembers him humping her and trying to get her to touch him, and him trying to touch her while she was saying no (or trying to) while in bed.
She’s adamant her clothes never came off and that she remembers changing herself into Pajamas at some point.
She filed a sexual assault complaint the next day which was found to be inconclusive due to their differing stories and lack of witnesses.
Am I crazy or insensitive to question the events of that evening? Should I be trusting her implicitly when she says she believes she would never have accepted his advances?
My worst fear is that there was some engagement on her part to his advances that led to him ending up in her bed.
She disclosed this to me a few weeks ago and we are trying to work through it but I can’t shake this sickening feeling that I have about it.
For additional context we have an 18 month old at home.
