I strongly hate a two faced gossiping FAKE b*tch in our friend group, how do I ignore her?

[Anonymous]

When I talk to her she doesn't listen.
When I mind my own business she cries and complains that i never speak.

She even tells me I never initiate convos.
(Because I know she gossips about me).

She tells me how attached she is to me, how I am the sweetest friend, YET...
I heard from her crush that she is too afraid to talk shit about me on my face.

She does this with everyone.

• She complains about others in our group to me and she complains about me to them.

• She USES PEOPLE and have everyone
  convinced that she's a true friend.
  

I really feel like m**dering her brutally and YELL so loud at her that she becomes deaf.

How do I seriously ignore her bitching about me and others?
I don't wanna fight because it will turn out really ugly and destructive.

A manipulative guy will back her up because I don't follow his commands or give him extra validation, compliments like this fake b**ch does.

[HighlyVolatile]

I like to move into those types as counter-intuitive as that may seem. I mean both physically and emotionally but you can start with the physical like sitting right next to them and scooting your chair so close to them that you're touching shoulder to shoulder and talking to them so openly and assertively and asking them questions that they might feel uncomfortable.

I had a friend like that once in our group and he switched from talking shit behind my back to praising me after I did that while, still, unfortunately talking poorly about others.

[HighlyVolatile]

With the right approach, you can turn them from a gossiper into your personal asskisser. I still don't like them either way but at least you can get them on your side.

[Asker]

I don't even know how the hell do these backstabbers manage to retain the good people. I don't wanna leave the group as I wanna learn from others and I have two good friends in that group. But since we are graduating, do you think that it will be wise to find a new group? But I also don't wanna risk losing good ones because of this backstabber

[HighlyVolatile]

I think it's better to learn how to navigate the existing group, especially if you like all the other people than just ditch the entire group. Unfortunately, you sometimes end up with those types even at a workplace, for example. It's good practice to learn how to deal with them -- whatever angle you find that works for you and them.

[Asker]

Yeah I just ignore her but then she starts complaining about it. I think if it happens again I'll tell her "do you talk shit about me to XYZ?" Then see what she says.

[Wise4myage]

Block and move on, or remove yourself from that group.

[Bananapizza]

Damn that’s so annoying! I would just straight up make some badass thing to say to her so she understands what she is doing. She talks behind your back cause she isn’t badass enough to say stuff straight into your face. So you do it, tell her she is not nice and should quit with the bullshit

[Asker]

Thanks and also thanks for not judging me because of the anger I expressed here. People be like "I need help for being a short tempered psycho" so I deleted them.

[Asker]

It's not like I'll really go after her and ruin her. I was just frustrated.

[whereismyjohnny]

It's simple, move away from that group.

Also, ''I really feel like m**dering her brutally and YELL so loud at her that she becomes deaf.'' is pretty concerning 😳

[Asker]

She used me, my time, my energy yet it's disheartening that she's trying to complain about me. I helped her many times, she shamelessly used my resources and connections and she's doing the same with others.

[whereismyjohnny]

It's best to move from toxic relationships. It's draining you mentally. If you're not happy in that friendship group, leave. Do what's best for you and your mental healt.

It's good/nice that you helped her, but why would you help someone and expect something in return or rub in their face.

[Asker]

Not expecting ANYTHING IN RETURN. JUST THAT SHE COMPLAINED AND WANTS MORE AND MORE.

[Asker]

Ironically she rubs it in my face that "I always say hi first".

[Asker]

Yeah one manipulative guy who failed to make me his puppet and this girl are the bad fruit of the group. Rest others are too simple and good natured. It just hurts that because of these two, I have to leave others.

[Asker]

I never said I expected anything in return. It's just she smear campaigns me yet depends on me. You know those shameless people who take all the help they can get and yet disrespect you behind your back. They definitely earned this hate.

[whereismyjohnny]

Then stay in the group but keep minimal contact with the two? Be civil and don't argue first. If they are mean say something, tell your friends.

[whereismyjohnny]

''depend on me'' Oh, God.

You are acting like she put the gun on your head and forced you to help her. You did it because you wanted it, why now be like this? I hang out with a girl very similar to that girl, I always was happy to help, but she was shitting behind my back and was a bad friend in general. I cut ties with her, but I never thought about telling how ungrateful she is or everything that I did for her. I helped because I wanted, it was my choice.

[Asker]

Great girl I am thinking the same. If she once again provokes me that "you don't talk". Then I'm gonna be real about it, not lash out but tell how fake it is. Because whenever I talk, she becomes deaf but then she also keeps on reminding me that how she always initiates convo every single time, for the bare minimum. I already told her I'm more of a listener but still she keeps on telling in front of everyone that I don't talk.