How to go about spending time with a girl that has a lot of girlfriends and pre occupied?

[Anonymous]

i'm fairly confident this girl likes me but i don't get the chance to see a lot of her outside of this restaurant where we both spend a lot of time.

i also notice she has a lot of girlfriends so she's often doing things with them and i don't know how to fit into this , i get along with most of them so a lot of the time when i have seen her they've been around too

but kind of like some time alone with her but she seems to be pre occupied , just that type of girl thats popular and has a lot of girlfriends her own age she's been friends with for a while. i'm pretty sure she wants a boyfriend but not sure how much time she's prepared to put into this

[Anonymous]

Overthinking so hard will ruin your chances completely. Just approach, ask for her social media or phone number or whatever and go from there. That’s what my current partner did. When I’m out I’m usually surrounded by friends and at least 1 or two guys trying to get my attention. The first time I met him I was preoccupied with this guy inviting me to dinner. Then I ran into my partner again a month later and he did not let the opportunity pass him by again. His confidence and assertiveness was very bold/attractive to me, especially since someone was trying to buy me a drink in the moment.

[Asker]

i'm just not sure what to suggest , i've done drinks with her before , we did a shot at the bar 2 weeks ago but it wasn't just us , one of her girlfriend's was nearby so i had to buy 3 shots at the time

we've been talking a lot lately but its never lead to things outside of the restaurant

[Opinion Owner]

Well you don’t have to suggest an outing or date yet, just ask if she’d like to get together sometime. Honestly just be casual about it, like you’re speaking with a friend (which you sort of are).

[LazerBean]

Just test the waters. If she likes you, she will make time for you. Otherwise move on.

[Asker]

i've never really suggested anything yet , but agree i need to test the waters and see what she'd be open to if anything
she works at that restaurant a lot , her shifts sometimes 11- 4 or 4 till close which could be 2 am on a Friday/Saturday , she makes a lot of money but it does take up a lot of her time and she lives a long drive away too , not sure exactly where but its not close to the restaurant

[Anonymous]

If she likes you she will always find time no matter how busy, something you should know by age 45. This is a high school question.

[Asker]

i'm not that old in 30's either way just trying to figure out a way to spend time with her , she's very busy and trying to figure out where i fit in

[In_Trance]

I think you lied about your age

[Asker]

girls that are older still get pre occupied with girlfriends , not sure what age has to do with that problem

[In_Trance]

Because as you get older you realize that no matter how many friends she has if you want it bad enough you'll approach her and arrange time with her. You don't worry about dumb shit like that.

[Asker]

i guess but she has a lot of girlfriends , she works at a restaurant which has a lot of female staff , plus her existing circle of friends which would be girls she's known since high school and also a group of girls she meet at college

[In_Trance]

That just for the solidifies the fact that I think you lied about your age. Assuming she's close in age to you high school was a lifetime ago.

[Asker]

she's in her 20's , she's been friends with those girls for years , in small towns people tend to have the same social circles for long periods

[In_Trance]

You don't want it bad enough

[Asker]

no i do want it badly , tried to brainstorm some ideas last night when i was bored , anything seem worth while
- starbucks
- concert
- lookout park ( we have this popular park in town )
-bowling
- tennis ( i don't really play and not sure if she does but see others doing this )
- baseball game ( nearest MLB team is 2 hours away though )
- casino ( closest one an 1hr away and not sure she'd be into it )
-boating ( lots of lakes here , she might have access to one )
- make tiktok video know she was on that ap
-outdoors exploring a park or waterfalls
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